~Chapter fifteen~

"How're you feeling?" Jiyong asked as they lay on the same bed, tubes sticking out of Chaerin's wrist as she wrapped her hand around his torso. "Do you wanna rest?"

"I'm resting.." she replied, eyes closed as she snuggled closer to the crook of his neck. "Why? Are you uncomfortable?" she suddenly asked, jerking her head up.

"No no" Jiyong shook his head, although his arm was turning numb as her head rest on it. "I thought you were uncomfortable." he said, slowly pushing her head down to his chest. "We can lay here as long as you want."

"Don't you have to go to work?" she asked. Without waiting for his answer she continued on. "Wait! I didn't ask you how was your meeting in.... In... Uhm—" she scratched her temple lightly, annoyed with how her mind wasn't working according to her wish.

"Taiwan." Jiyong completed for her, noticing her annoyed expression and the reason for it, he slowly turned around to face her directly. Their faces were so close to each other that their breaths warmed each other’s faces.

It'd been 4 days since they last kissed and Jiyong could still feel the sensation on his lips as he studied her face.

"Chaerin?"

"Hm?"

"Have you ever kissed someone before?"

"Me?" Chaerin asked, pointing a finger at herself. "Yeah." she nod casually, taking a deep breath as she too studied his face and softly traced her finger over his knitted brows. "Why the long face?"

"You never told me you kissed someone before." Jiyong tried to answer in the most un-childish way possible.

"Silly." she lightly knocked over his forehead. "I kissed you remember? You were my first kiss." she chuckled. "The last time I checked, I was the one with brain cancer."

Silence immediately engulfed the two soon after Chaerin said those words. For her it was easy to accept the fact since she'd spent 4 years living with it, but for Jiyong... It was still hard to digest the fact.

 "I'm sorry.. I shouldn't have said that." Chaerin broke the silence with her apology, lowering her gaze.

"No— don't.." Jiyong shook his head and realized how immature and insensitive he was being. "I…" he breathed and realized, he had nothing to say.  "I…"

"Let me say something." Chaerin intervened. Pressing the flat of her palm on his chest. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I swear... I was going to. Baekhyun scolded me and  I realized how selfish I was being for not telling you... I swear.. I —-"

"I don't care Chae..." Jiyong shook his head. "I don't care. I-I know now. That's all that matters." he placed a kiss on her forehead and let out a shaky breath. "All we need to do now is prepare for the surgery." he stated, a lump staring to form in his throat. He couldn't just cry, he needed to be strong for Chaerin. For both of them. "A-are you scared?" he asked, tracing his thumb over the back of her palm as his arm wrapped itself around her waist.

"Of the surgery?'

"—No"

"Of..... Death?"

Jiyong cringed as he heard the word he wanted to avoid the most. He didn't want to think about it, let alone hearing it from her. "Chaerin..."

"No." she shook her head as she ran her hand over his fringe, he looked so harmless and so fragile, an utter contrast to when she first met him, uptight and confident. "The only thing that scares me in this world is.... Not being with you."

He blinked, trying to register her words into his mind. For a second her thought, he heard it wrong because it seemed so surreal, too good to be true. Yet, here he was. With the woman he loved more than his own life telling him she'd rather die than not be with him.

The first time in his life, he felt important. He'd spent so many years alone, trying to find himself, trying to be the man that everybody expected him to be- his parents expected him to be. All these years he spent pushing everybody away. But now, he didn't need to... He didn't need to be someone else to feel accepted, he didn't need to prove himself worthy, he didn't need to pretend anymore. He belonged right here. With her.

"—and you'll never be." he said as he kissed her temple. "I'll be with you.. For eternity." he whispered into her ears as he placed soft kisses on her neck.

Jiyong slowly pulled his hand away and gently placed her head on the soft pillows. "I'll be back soon..." he whispered although he knew she was in deep slumber and couldn't hear him.

He had to talk to Jaehyun regarding his office matters. Yesterday night, he learnt from his secretary that his father, Mr. Kwon walked out from the meeting as soon as he came to know of Jiyong's early departure, calling him an irresponsible dumb wit.

Jiyong would've cared... 3 weeks ago, but now. That was least of his concern. He only decided to call Jaehyun to let him know of his whereabouts and make sure no trouble would come his way while he spent the rest of his time at the hospital.

Just as he reached for his phone at the round table near the window, he spotted to same diary he saw a few weeks ago tucked in between the pile of novels. Which he now realized were mostly, biographies of the most inspiring people on earth. He grabbed the diary and opened the first page to see a photo of herself in her diapers. A chuckled soon came to his mouth as he glanced at the sleeping figure before him.

He knew reading someone else’s personal diary was wrong, but right now. He thought, it didn't matter since they loved each other and no secrets could keep them apart. And besides, she was his.

1st January 2012

Dear diary,
Happy new year to you! *insert fireworks* keke. Sehee Emo called me and apologized for not being able to come since Hayoung came up with a fever (I hope she's okay. God! Please make her okay...) and she had to take her over to the local hospital.

I celebrated new year too.... Watching a marathon of running man.

+ Jieun Unnie from room. No 213 dropped off a apple pie for me before she left to celebrate New year at Namsan with her husband. (so romantic~)

I felt kind of lonely since everybody spent their new year with their families. I know I'm being childish! (sorry)

Things I'm thankful for:
1. Today.
2. despite my wrong doings, my unworthiness, you still love me. Thank you.

Jiyong found himself turning the pages, realizing she'd made an entry everyday.

13 January 2012

Dear diary,
Woke up with a horrible head ache, went straight to the bathroom to throw up. It has never happened before. I don't know what's going on. Baekhyun came to check on me. I told him about my head ache. He increased my doze.

Is it getting worse?

I hope not..

Things I'm thankful for:
1. This day.
2. Jieun Unnie got discharged since her condition got better.
3. Your love.

26 February 2012

Dear diary,
Hii! It's my birthday. Yaay!
Although... I forgot and only came to realize it when Baekhyun brought me a cake. My favorite. Vanilla~ He makes me feel safe. After all, he’s my doctor. keke

Things I'm thankful for:
1. Adding another year to my life.
2. Your love.
3. Baekhyun

Jiyong knit his eyebrows together as he read the name that stood out from the list of things she was thankful for. How close were they?

Feeling a little jealous and bitter with Baekhyun's importance in her life, he skipped the entire entries, scanning for his name. He stopped right at the date.... 12 December, the day... He almost lost his life.

12th December 2012

Dear diary,
After yesterday's radiotherapy I felt much better. Just as I thought the day was going well, despite the storm, I woke up around 2am since there was a loud commotion outside my room. I was still sleepy when the staff pushed in a person on the stretcher and placed him on the bed beside mine.

A man dressed in wrinkled polo shirt sat beside the mysterious patient, until he too fell sleepy and decided to go home. (I'm not sure)

Out of curiosity, I moved closer to get a better look. He had bruises around his face. His eyebrows were knitted together like he was in pain. Seeing him made me want to take all the pain away.

It's weird.
I don't even know him..

But, God.... I know I've been asking for a lot of things lately but... You don't need to grant them.

I only ask you to take this man's pain away.

Things I'm thankful for:
1. Saving this stranger's life.

Jiyong's jaw dropped. Chaerin didn't even know him then, yet she still remembered him in her prayers, pushing aside her personal wishes only to place him first, although he was nothing but just a stranger. And to think of it, he was  so bitter to her the first time they talked. You foolish human being! He cursed at himself pushing his lose fist to his forehead.

Slowly closing the diary, he glanced at the sleeping figure and as if it were possible, he fell even more in love with her. How in the world could a person like Chaerin exist?

He wasn't a person who deserved someone like her. Hell! No one would deserve her. No one.

Chaerin, the God sent angel, his love... His life... His everything...

He knew, in the exact moment that he needed nothing else in his life, he found the missing piece that completed his purpose in life.

Kwon Jiyong.... Was born to to love Lee Chaerin.

"Mr. Kwon... She has Craniopharyngiomas. It developed when she was a mere teenager. I do not know when she started showing the symptoms because she came in only when she was 18, when her school hostel warden brought her here." Dr. Byun said as he showed the MRI scans. "These scans show that the tumor has spread to the pineal gland. See—" he said as he pointed at the pine cone like organ. "Unfortunately, it's pineoblastoma.. And its growing very fast." seeing the confused look on Jiyong face he sighed and realized he wouldn’t make any sense. "The pineal gland is in the core of the brain and very difficult to reach. But the speed of it's growth is... Nothing like I've seen before." he turned around and switched the lights illuminating the scans and settled himself on the chair adjacent to Jiyong's. "I'm surprised she still hasn't shown much symptoms. Which is why the board itself failed to spot it in the first place."

Unable to register everything the young doctor said, Jiyong scratched his head. Uneasiness taking over his whole body. "W-what about the surgery?"

"It's difficult to say." Baekhyun rubbed his temple. "The surgery is very risky. I haven't heard of this particular one done in this hospital or even in Seoul, since most of the patients have been referred to the States. Not only that. What troubles Dr. Yang the most is the additional need for a Craniospinal axis. From the recent tests, Chaerin showed positive for spinal fluid cytology. This needs to be done because some of these tumors will “seed” down from the brain into the spinal canal." dryly chuckling to himself, Baekhyun shook his head and covered his face in his hands. "I know it's a lot to take in all at once.”

Jiyong scratched the back of his palm as he stared at the vacant space before him. The medicinal smell stinging his nose, but it didn't matter to him at the moment. "D-do you... Do y-you think she'll make it?"

The two men sat in silence, not knowing what to say since every word they'd say now wouldn't make any difference to the situation. Baekhyun, awkwardly drummed his finger on the table, debating how to say the words he too didn't very much like.

"Spend as much time with her while you can Jiyongsshi."

"Hey~" Chaerin greeted as she sat in the hospital bed, waving at Jiyong who stood at the door. "Where've you been?"

Jiyong shrugged as he moved forward and sat himself at the edge of her bed, lightly massaging her toes. "Getting some fresh air." he replied, feigning a smile. Avoiding eye contact at all cost.

"That's good." she smiled, pressing her hand to her waist. "I wish I could go too." she said, eyeing the IV strips sideways with a exhausted sigh.

Jiyong nod understandingly as he got on the bed and crawled beside her spooning her from behind.

Sensing his tensed muscles, Chaerin tilted her head to glance at his hard expression. "A-are you okay?" she asked, lightly caressing his jaws. "What is it?"

Jiyong pressed his eyes close as he imagined never getting to hold her in his arms again. Slowly, his face eased as he felt her warm finger lightly soothing his creased brows and placing a chaste kiss between them.

"I love you...." he said, biting back the tears that threatened to fall. ".. So much and... And I want to spend the rest of my life with you... For you."

"Me too.." Chaerin smiled and it was enough confirmation for Jiyong to say what he was preparing to say.

"Chaerin..." he muttered as he propped himself up on the bed , earning a puzzled look from Chaerin as she too, sat up, legs crossed. Slowly, Jiyong grabbed her hands in his and swallowed hard. "I...." he cleared his throat and tried again. "I didn't really think this through but it doesn't really matter right now." he mumbled.

"Hm?"

"You love me r-right?" he stuttered and Chaerin could only laugh at his nervous self. It wasn't always that people got to see this innocent side of the Kwon prince. To Chaerin, it was a luxury, one that only she was entitled to see and it made her proud of it.

"To the moon and back." she replied, bending forward to place a soft peck his lips to seal it.

"If you love me then..." he paused. "You'll do something for me, right?"

"Anything."

"o-okay.. Uhm—" he cleared his throat when his voice broke. "You're sure right?"

"Oh my goodness!" Chaerin exclaimed, slapping his arm playfully. "What's up with you today?" she chuckled. "Are you crazy?"

"Yes." Jiyong beamed. "Crazy in love with you."

Chaerin raised her eyebrows at his cheesiness and prepared for a snarky comeback but was left speechless when Jiyong suddenly pressed her knuckles against his lips and kissed it, soon, shifting his seating position to a kneeling one. "We're both crazily in love with each other.. Then why shouldn't we do this?" he smiled and Chaerin felt her heart skip a beat at the scene.

"Lee Chaerin.. W-will you m-marry me?"

"What?" Chaerin gasped. She had not expected this coming, just a few days ago he'd asked her to move in and now... He... Oh my God! She mentally screamed. He wants to marry me.

"Honey..." Jiyong bent forward, his hand still on hers, his voice shook as he spoke. ".. W-what do you t-think?" In all honesty, Jiyong wasn't prepared for this either, but deep inside he knew he wanted this however spontaneous this was.

"I.." Chaerin gulped as she rubbed her thumb over the back of his palm. "I-I.."

"Baby?"

"I—"

Jiyong's smile slowly started to fade as he saw how confused she was. What was he expecting? Why would she wanna marry you? He spat at himself mentally.

Soon enough, he lost all his thoughts as he felt himself being pulled closer and a warm sensation took over his lips and he gave in.

"I love you..." Chaerin said in between their kiss and she felt him smile. Tangling her hands in his hair despite the uncomfortable feeling in her IV attached wrist. She never felt so much joy and so much pain all together. Her rational self told her it was a stupid idea, yet her heart said nothing could be better than this.

Ignoring all logic and everything she formerly found pride in, she kissed him deeper until they both turned breathless, as if it were not oxygen that kept them alive but each other's presence.

Chaerin gently pulled away as she softly traced her fingers over his now swollen lips.

"I will marry you."

Author’s note:.

Hi guys! How’re ya’ll? I’m back with a failed-fluffy chapter. Ungh. I at writing sweet moments.
Anywho— I wanted to take my time and thank everyone who has shown so much love to this story J Thank you
A special shout out to (upvoters):

 ღ -Snow_White-
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Muaaaahhh!

With love~
E