Here it was, half past 12. Soo Young and I were chatting and eating when thoughts of my current dilemma suddenly clouded my mind. These past few days, I’ve been mentally and emotionally preparing myself for one of the hardest decision that I’ll ever make. And that is to tell or not to tell about this pregnancy to the two men involved into this bizarre love triangle thingy with me. It felt like I was at the center of a huge weighing scale. On one end, there’s the father of my child and on the other end is the man that I love. Either way, I know that I’m going to hurt one or both of them in this whole admitting process. But then again, regrets surfaces when you have options laid on the table so I might as well scratch that ‘not to tell’ choice and be brave enough to spill it out so I wouldn’t end up feeling sorry for myself for the rest of my life.

“YAH! Earth calling HAN HYUN-AE!” Soo Young nudged my side. “You’re spacing out again…” She uttered as I blankly stared at the cup of ramen noodles in my hands. “It’s warm…” I mumbled. “Eh? What’s your problem this time?” She questioned as she started eating her own cup of noodles. “Soo Young~ah, I think it’s time…” I uttered with a weak tone. “Time for what?” She asked, face showing concern. “Time to tell Yoochun and Jaejoong that I’m pregnant…” I blurted out. Surprised, she almost spat the noodles inside but then she swallowed hastily which lead her to choke. I her back gently and cracked a joke. “Choking is one of the most embarrassing cause of death…” I chuckled. She coughed a few times. “Y-You know, I’ll reach death at a very young age because of you and your problems!” She half-mumbled half-coughed her words. “See all these wrinkles on my face…it’s all because of YOU!” She scowled. “Am I also the reason for that pimple on your forehead?” I . Embarrassed, she lowered her head and hastily got her pink compact mirror on her clutch. “AISH! When did I start having a pimple?” She whined. I laughed at her as she grumbles to that tiny red dot on her forehead. “Since the day you started dating 3^rd year Class B Kim Junsu!” I exclaimed. She blushed madly. “H-How did y-you…” She stuttered. “What kind of best friend are you?” I yelled at her. “You knew all my secrets! But you never even told me that you were going out with that dolphin-boy hottie right next class!” She bowed her head and apologized. “Sorry…I was planning to tell you but I had second thoughts cause I think it wouldn’t be right if I add up to the worries whirling inside your head now…” I hit her arm. “Soo Young~ah, it’s not always about me! Besides, it’s fun to hear good news once in a while!” I stretched my lips and forced a smile. “I think Junsu~sshi is nice…Yoochun says a lot of good things about him…” Soo Young stared and motioned me to continue. “Yoochun and Junsu are both members of the Music Club.” She nodded. “It was weird when I got jealous when I saw him having fun time with Junsu…” I chuckled. “If Junsu was born as a female…I think Yoochun would pursue him instead of me…” She hit my arm lightly. “YAH! They’re not gays!” Her face seemed annoyed. “I know…can’t take a wise-crack for once, huh?” I hissed. Then we both laughed at our silly-selves.  

“Back to your problem...when are you planning to tell them?” She asked. “Dinner date with Yoochun tonight…” I answered briefly. “You ready?” A follow up question that I was so confident she would ask. “I have no other choice but to be ready…” I sighed deeply. “It’s now or never…” I added. She patted my shoulder telling me that she would always be there to support me. “How about Jaejoong?” I kept silent. “I don’t know…but soon I know he’ll find out…so it’s better if he hear it from me than hear it from someone else…”    

A lovely dolphin voice shrieked from behind and interrupted our serious chatting. “Soo Young~ah…” We turned our heads and saw Junsu walking closer to us. Soo Young beamed a smile. Junsu bowed his head. “Hello, Hyun-Ae…” He greeted me nicely. I returned his greeting with a warm welcoming smile. “How did you know my name?” I asked him. “Who wouldn’t recognize Yoochun’s princess…my day isn’t over when he didn’t spoke your name…” He chuckled. “Is that so?” He nodded. “Yeah…he told me a lot of nice things about you…” He answered simply. “It’d better be good…” I mumbled. He laughed cutely. “It was all full of praises and compliments…he worships you! Kidding aside, Yoochun really loves you…” Hearing it made me even sadder than before. Soo Young noticed it and s her arm across Junsu’s arm and started dragging him off the place. “Hyun-Ae, I’ll be leaving first…you okay here?” Soo Young asked me, worried tone. I nodded weakly. “Yeah, go ahead…” She waved a hand at me and Junsu did the same. “Yah! Don’t do crappy things, huh?!” She said, glaring at me. “Don’t worry I’ll be fine…I’ll just have a walk and then be back to the class before the bell rings…” I pushed her back lightly telling her to leave. She sighed deeply in response. “Call me when something happens, okay?” I nodded then smiled at the two disappearing figure of a lovely couple.

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I was walking across the school, kicking few stones I encountered along my way when I heard someone yelled in pain. “YAH!” I lifted my head up and saw Jaejoong his left knee which I presumed that it was the part that I accidentally hit. “What are you doing here?” I asked him rudely instead of checking if he was doing okay. “Aren’t you going to say sorry?” He hissed. “Why would I? It’s your fault!” I stubbornly said then looked away. “Why was it my fault? It was you who was blankly staring on the ground…” He retorted back. “But you’ve seen me coming! You should have taken the other side of the pathway to avoid getting hit…” I pointed towards the wide space on our right side. I didn’t gave him another chance to speak as I walked passed him and completely ignored him. But he swiftly held my wrist and started dragging me to a place I’m not aware of. “Where are you planning to take me?” I struggled but he held me tight. His grip was strong but it feels gentle on my skin. It’s as if he’s telling me that ‘I’m not letting you off but worry less cause I won’t hurt you...’ He hauled me to the school’s rooftop and I didn’t have much strength as I let my small-frame physique be dragged. When we reached the center of the roof top he loosened his grip and I took the chance to get my hand off him. I held my wrist…much to my surprise there wasn’t a single mark present on it. “What now?” I scowled. He paced back and forth making me feel more anxious. “Jaejoong~sshi, is there something wrong?” I asked worriedly. Jaejoong stopped and awkwardly stared at me. I looked away and avoided his stare. He walked closer to me…each step he took added up beats to my pounding heart. I stepped backwards, “I’d better leave…” I said nervously. But before I could storm my way outside he pinned me on the wall. Both of his hands held my shoulders firmly in place. His eyes sternly fixed onto mine. “Let me go…” But he didn’t listen.

“Are you PREGNANT?” He blurted out. I tilted my head on the side. “What are you talking about?” I refused to answer. His hands slowly dropped off my shoulders. He turned his back against me. “You don’t know the feeling, right?” He paused for awhile then turned back slightly to look at me. His eyes were moist and I could feel he’s trying to hold back his tears from shedding. “I feel angry! But I know that I don’t have the right to feel this way!” He screamed loudly. “I want to hug you but I don’t have the right to hug you!” Tears escaped his eyes. “Just this once Hyun-Ae, give me the right to know the truth…I want to hear it straight from you…” His voice showed sorrow. “Jaejoong~sshi…” I placed a hand on top of his shoulder while his head was facing down, hiding his tears-soaked face at me. “Yes, I’m pregnant…” I boldly confessed. He lifted his head and asked “Am I the father?” He questioned straightforwardly.

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Meanwhile…

Yoochun was searching desperately for you all over the place. “Excuse me, bye any chance have seen Hyun Ae?” He asked a girl attending the same class as yours and him.  “I saw her with Jaejoong and I think they went that way…” She pointed to the staircase leading to the top of the building. “To the rooftop?” He asked, still confused. “I don’t know…” She shrugged. “Thank you…” Yoochun bowed his head and climbed up the stairs with thoughts still hazy. Little did he know that someone was following his steps…

Yoochun hesitantly held the knob and opened it slowly. He partly opened it and heard two familiar voices as he stuck his head a little then checked who it was. He stopped his tracks when he saw Jaejoong down on his knees while the girl was standing up and comforting him. “Am I the father?” He heard him speak but still wasn’t able to see the face of the girl he’s talking to. “Jaejoong~sshi, don’t do this please…” Tears warned to escape any moment. “Hyun-Ae, am I the father?” He asked again, pleading with grief noticeable on his voice. “Y-Yes you are…”

“What’s going on here?” Yoochun asked confusingly. He doesn’t know what to think but the moment he heard his princess’ name he couldn’t help but intervene.

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“What’s going on here?” I heard Yoochun’s voice echoing behind me. My heart stopped, knees weakened but I uphold my stance and twisted my back seeing Yoochun intently staring at me. “Oppa…” Words stuck on my throat. I could see his clueless face as he shot alternate glances at me and Jaejoong. “Babe, tell me what’s wrong?” He asked again. Jaejoong pulled himself up and wiped his tears with the back of his hand. “We have to talk…just the two of us…” I said to him. Yoochun was about to utter a word when Tiffany showed up behind him and cut him off. “What is left to talk about?” She sneered. “This is none of your business!” I shot back. “None of my business?” She laughed evilly. “You screwed my boyfriend and now you’re saying that it’s none of my business?” I was defeated. Her words stung every inch of my skin. I couldn’t mutter another word cause she was right. I had with her boyfriend and definitely she’s involved in this and she has all the right to humiliate me.  “Tiffany!” Jaejoong shouted angrily. “Oh my God Yoochun open your eyes!” Tiffany held Yoochun’s arm. The latter seemed to be more confused from all the statements he’s been hearing. “Your *faithful* girlfriend had with my boyfriend and now she’s pregnant with Jaejoong’s child!” She said in one breath. My whole body shivers in anxiety. I want them to know the truth but not this way…not in a sudden and rough way. Words kept on hiding behind my teeth as I gritted it with all my strength. I couldn’t say something to defend myself. It was true! Everything she said was true. I just stood there stayed in silence waiting for Yoochun to say something…still wishing at the back of my head, that he will drag me off the place and say that he still loves me and that he forgives me. Waiting is the only option left for me. Seconds passed, Yoochun still kept his silence. “Hyun-Ae, is that true?” His voice quivers. The painful truth that shocked everyone and I nodded in shame to confirm everything. With that brief response, he turned back heading towards the roof’s door. Tears slowly trickled down my cheeks. “Please here me out first…” He stopped when he heard me speak but he didn’t look back. “I need some space…” He said coldly. I wanted to run and hugged him tight but my feet were stuck on the ground. My body’s there but I didn’t feel alive. It hurts too much that’s it’s ripping me inside out. My knees start to wobble and in few seconds I stumbled down. Luckily, Jaejoong caught me before I falter. I couldn’t take my eyes off Yoochun as he walked away.

“Are you okay?” Jaejoong asked worriedly as he helped me stood up straight. My mind’s been blank and all I can hear is Yoochun’s last words. “I need some space…” I was drowning with my thoughts when suddenly I felt a hand hit my face. Tiffany gave me a hard slap on my left cheek. I drifted back to my senses. I felt pain then I lifted my hand and caressed the part she hit but the pain was nothing compared to the feelings I have inside. “I was right all along! You’re a !” Raging Tiffany said. Jaejoong left my side and held Tiffany’s arms trying to calm her down. “You are so thick-skinned to threaten me not to stay close to your MAN! But you were screwing my MAN behind my back! now tell me your clean!” She continued to bombard me with harsh statements and all I did was just accept it. “Tiffany STOP!” Jaejoong yelled at her. But she didn’t listen to him. “DAMN! THE PERFECT HYUN-AE IS A AT NIGHT! HOW MANY FACES DO YOU HAVE, HUH? BETTER SHOW IT TO US NOW! C’MON FIGHT BACK!” She taunted me. I didn’t say anything to make the situation worse. I stood there bravely receiving all the blame.

“Hyun-Ae, go ahead follow Yoochun…” Jaejoong spoke softly. “WHAT? HELL NO THAT IS STAYING HERE! I’M NOT YET DONE WITH HER! I WANT TO DUG MY NAILS AND PIERCE HER SKIN ‘TIL BLOOD COMES OUT OF HER!” She shot death glare at me. “ TIFFANY I SAID STOP!” Jaejoong slapped her cheek. It was the first time I’ve seen him so furious. He was always the gentle type when we’re together. “Why did you hit me?” Her voice seemed shock too. “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it…its just that ---“ She cut him off quickly. “SO YOU’RE ON HER SIDE NOW HUH?” She hissed. “IS SHE IN GOOD IN BED? IS SHE BETTER THAN ME?” She sounded angrier than before. “Hyun-Ae, GO! I’ll take care of this!” He motioned me to leave. I nodded then ran outside. Tiffany was about to pull me back but Jaejoong blocked her way. “YOU COME BACK HERE!” I could still hear her voice as I walked down the stairs.

“Yoochun~ah…” I mumbled as I searched for him. I didn’t care even if I heard the bell rang. What matters to me now is just Yoochun. “There’s just one place in this school where he hides when he feels upset…I do hope he’s there…”

*End of Chapter*