*Flashback*

He’s a wealthy young man, hard-headed, cold-hearted, rude and enjoys the feeling of wanting something and getting it with just a snap of his fingers. He’s elated when he’s in control of things. He could get anything he want without exerting too much effort since he’s the only son of the owner of one of the biggest and most successful companies in Korea. But even though he has everything he could wish for…from fancy cars to women of different status in society…he still feels empty. The emptiness that no one could fill in until the day he met her. His name is Kim Chan Sook and you can get the entire meanest and worst adjectives from the dictionary, sum it up and that’s what he is.

He was brought up in a world where there is no room for mistakes, thus he became tougher and tougher each day that passes by. But every time he gains more courage, he loses a part of his heart. He forgot to smile genuinely, he forgot to care and what’s worst was he also forgot what the real meaning of ‘Love’ is because he never felt love and concern from his parents, so how the hell would he know if he himself didn’t have it.

During his childhood years, his father (during their rare encounters as father and son) always remind him of, “In order to survive in this cruel world, you have to be strong and emotions couldn’t get in the way…even if it means hurting other people in order to survive…then do it without hesitations…the strongest ones goes all the way to the top and that’s what you have to do Son! Be at the top spot, claim it and never let go once you have it…” Those words turned him to a cold blooded monster. His heart was stoned until he couldn’t feel any emotions anymore. It was so easy for him to dump any girl once he had taken already what he wanted. For him, girls do come and go and falling in love is the last thing that could ever seep onto his brain.

It was spring break when she first met him. She was undeniably beautiful with cute doe eyes, pouty lips and a smile that could melt even the thickest ice on anyone’s heart. Her name is Han Cho Hee which means “beautiful” and “joy”.  And that was what she gives to every people she met, happiness.

Cho Hee adored ‘Sakura’ and never misses to watch the first day it blooms beautifully. She would always go to the park with lots of cherry trees and sat on a nearby bench, enjoying the scenery as she breathes in fresh air. It calms her heart, making it purer that it already is.

It was her routine to come back every day at the park…until on the 3^rd day, something happened that totally changed her peaceful life.

“Do you have a lighter?” A man in black cap, sitting at the far end of the bench, asked her.

“Sorry?”

“I said do you have a lighter…” The man said, coldly without lifting his head up.

“Sorry but I don’t smoke…” What a peaceful day and someone just ruined it. She was about to leave when a hand pulled her back harshly close to him. Their faces were just inches away from each other. She could feel his breath on her cheeks. Surprisingly, she didn’t smell smoke breath from him. She looked away while struggling to take the man’s hand on her wrist. But he was too strong for her. He then placed an arm behind her back and pulled her to a kiss, a rough one. She was too stunned to say a word of complaint. She couldn’t even push him away cause she felt that all her strength was taken from her. They kissed until they felt the need for oxygen and he pulled away. He wiped his blood stained lips with his thumb.

“That was great…and you bit me hard…” He chuckled, and let out a smirk. Not one bit of guilt feelings could be seen in his eyes.     

“WHO THE ARE YOU? WHY DID YOU KISS ME? THAT W-WAS….” She tried to hold back her tears and not show her weakness. That was her first kiss that was stolen by some random guy in the park. He was good-looking, no doubt about that, but he’s evil!

‘How can he smile, as if he’s insulting me, after he just stole my first precious kiss…Damn I saved it all these years for someone special and he just took it away from me…’

“You don’t have to know who I am…and what’s with that sad face? Was that your first kiss, huh?” He raised an eyebrow, teasing her.

Her tears start to fall down her cheeks. She couldn’t believe that she had just met the worst guy in the world.

“T-HAT W-AS MY F-FIRST KISS…AND YOU TOOK IT JUST LIKE THAT…” She sobbed harder and when she lifted her eyes and saw his emotionless face, her hand unconsciously lifted on its own and landed on his cheek hard.

He held his painful cheek. ‘It hurts…why do I feel more than physical pain? Her tears bring pain in me…something that I couldn’t understand…I’m not supposed to feel this way… ‘

“WHAT IS IT ABOUT ‘FIRST KISS’ THAT GIRLS’ DO SWOON AND PAY MUCH ATTENTION TO IT? YOU CAN STILL HAVE YOUR SECOND, THIRD, FOURTH…OR HOW MANY TIMES YOU WANT IT…”

“FIRST KISS IS SOMETHING THAT GIRLS’ DO TREASURE! AND A DUMB ERT LIKE YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE FIRST AND THE OTHER KISSES!” She yelled back.

“It’s not a thing that you can take and say sorry after you’ve done it…’sorry’ won’t bring back the stolen kiss…” She could have just run away but her feet were stuck on the ground. Even she couldn’t believe that she’s still able to stand another minute with him.

“I’m not that type who apologize after I did what I did…come to think of it, I couldn’t even remember when was the last time I said that five letter word (s-o-r-r-y) cause when you apologize, you admit your faults and that’s one sign of weakness that I hated most…”

“You’re hopeless! You’re much worst than I thought! HEARTLESS!” She forced herself to stand up though her knees were shaking uncontrollably. She walked slowly far from him and then she heard unfamiliar voices from somewhere. She turned her back and saw three men in black suit.

“Sir Kim! We have to get back to the mansion before your parents come back from their business trip…” The tallest one said.

“NO! I’m not going back! I told you not to bother me…GO AWAY!” He said, sending death glares to those Men in Black. They knew what their young master is capable of. He learned different martial arts and excels on it so he could protect himself from danger anytime, anywhere. When he needs a sparring partner, he would always choose one of his bodyguards and those poor so-called “protector” of his life, always ended up having broken bones or bruises all over their bodies.

He then stood up and ran the opposite way with his fingers entwined with hers. He took her with him as they dashed out of the park, and out of the sight of his bodyguards.

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Panting hard, they both laid their backs onto the wall and found themselves alone in a darkened alley. Only a few lights were lit up, enough to see each other’s faces. She went down on her knees as she tried to breathe in more air to fill her lungs.

“Can you tell me why we are running away from them? And who are those guys?” She asked, after a few minutes of rest.

“Are you hungry?” He asked, without even asking if she’s okay.

“It’s not the right time to eat…” She glared at him and his obnoxious attitude. “If those guys are after you, then why bring me along? We just met and we’re not even friends…so why put me in the same dilemma that you have right now?” She yelled as her fists were clenching in anger.

“Because I want to bring you along with me…”

“Why is that so?”

“No reason…” He placed a hand on her arm and pulled her up. She struggled to free from his tight grip but she failed.

“Why are you doing this to me?” She said, while he was dragging her to a place she’s not aware of.

“I just said it…NO REASONS AT ALL!” His voice became stern, and by then she could feel butterflies on her stomach. The tension was there and she could feel it. Strange cause even if she feels so damn nervous, she never felt fear at all. Her body shivered from the cold air. He took his hand off her arm and then slides it down to hold her freezing cold hand.

They walked slowly while holding each other’s hand not knowing the place where they are heading to. Silence hovered the alley. It was so quiet that you could actually hear two heartbeats when you listen closely to it.

“Where are we going?” She asked again, hoping this time she could hear a response from him.

“I don’t know…” His faint response seems so loud to her ears.

“Then I’m leaving…” She took her hand and turned her back when a strong pair arms caught her waist.

“Please stay…” He whispered as he pulled her close to his body and rested his chin on her shoulder.

‘What is it about him that is so annoying and yet I can’t get the courage to move away from him. His arms, the way he looks at me, the way he holds me close, his cold personality, his warm hands…How can a guy like him be able to control a girl like me? I hate being controlled but to him, I knew I’m defeated.’

‘Staying in the dark is one of my greatest fears. I feel helpless, weak, fragile, and vulnerable to all the pains in the world. Which is why I always I avoided it and stay where the light is brightly shining. She gave me one good reason to overcome my fear. I dragged her into this place and while I held her hand, no lonely feelings could get in between. Behind those yells and cursing she did, I could feel safe in her arms. And for the first time, I felt ‘What Love Really Is…’

He turned her around and their eyes were locked with each other. No words spoken, only breathing and two heartbeats could be heard. He leaned in, cutting the distance short and then he captured her lips gently and passionately.

She doesn’t know why her heart stops the moment his lips brushed onto hers. She dislikes the feeling of kissing a stranger but her heart says otherwise. She kissed him back, this time without biting his lips. He pushed his tongue, seeking for entrance and she let him in. Her mind went blank as he explores . He tastes like heaven and hell. And by then, she realized that he was right…not all magical moments happen on the first time…it could be on the second, the third or the 100^th one…it’s the person you’re with and not the numbers that make this kisses different.

“I Love You…” He whispered after they parted their lips.

__________________________________________________

They met each other when they least expects it...

Kissed each other when they weren’t supposed to do it…

And love each other when they knew it’s forbidden…

They kept their relationship secret from anyone. He would sneak out of the mansion and try to spend some time with her without anyone knowing. It’s not that he’s not proud of his love or the girl that change his whole being but then loving her comes with a great responsibility and that is to protect her the best way he could. His family is one of the few families in Korea that you shouldn’t mess with. His father could make the impossible things possible. And with that said, his father could make her life a living hell.

He kissed her forehead as their bodies glided to each other. The friction of their skins was too hot to handle. He s in her, sending her to the brim. She took him all in, as she panted hard and moan from the pleasure she’s been receiving. And with few more s, her body shivered and he collapsed his body onto her as they both reached the gates of heaven.

He pulled out, while kissing her lovingly.

“I’m sorry…” She couldn’t count how many times have she heard it from him. He changed in a better way. He already knows how to apologize whenever he did something wrong. She badly needed to hear it the time when he took her first kiss but why does it feel so different now that he’s sorry for the things he has no control over.

“I love you…” He whispered to her ear and left the apartment.

A stolen moment…

A forbidden love…

She kept all the feelings inside though she’s badly hurt every time he leaves her alone. She understands him fully but still feels her heart sank each time she looked at the empty side of the bed. She then closed her eyes and drifted to sleep locking everything inside.

_____________________________________________

“I’m pregnant…” She uttered as she look straight into his eyes. The silence is killing her. He didn’t move a bit and there were no changes in his expressions. She was so scared that he might not accept the baby but she was ready for it. If he refused to take responsibility she wouldn’t force him. She waited a few more minutes but none came out of his mouth.

She let go of his hands. He cupped her face and held her chin up. “Thank You…”

“Eh? What for?”

“For letting me feel the love that I’ve always wanted to feel…for giving me another reason to live…you’re my savior…the one who pulled me out of the black hole I was into…”

“Oppa…”

“Han Cho Hee, will you stay by my side forever?”

“….”

____________________________________________

A week after he proposed to her, he decided that it’s time for his parents to meet her. No matter how strict and wicked his father is, he still believes that he will approve their relationship cause he feels that no father could take seeing his son in misery. He clings to that tiny dot of hope that everything’s going to be alright now that an unborn angel’s life is involved.

“Appa, Umma…she is Han Cho Hee, my soon to be wife and mother of my kids…” He bowed his head in respect and so did she.

____________________________________________

“Your parents welcomed me with arms wide open…to be honest, I thought they’d be really scary…” She said happily as he opened the door of her apartment.

He pecked her lips. “You must be really tired…go inside and have some rest…”

She nodded and then stepped in. “Thank you for this wonderful time…”

“I love you…”

“I love you too…"

Two days after the dinner they had with his parents, he never called or texted her again. She was getting too nervous as she tried to call him but his phone was always out or reach. Then she heard a loud knock on her front door. She hastily went to open it but she was taken aback when he saw three men who looked like they didn’t come with good intentions.

The three men invited themselves in and one guy asked, “Are you Ms. Han Cho Hee?”

She nodded nervously as response. “What do you want from me?”

The shortest guy went out and when he came back he has three baseball bats on his hands. The other two get one each and then started to make a mess inside the house. They began to knock all the furniture, shattering all the glasses including the paned windows and destroying every piece of picture frame with Chan Sook and her pictures on it.

____________________________________________

“Stay away from her or else…” His body trembled once he heard those threatening words from his father. He hanged up and drove to her place with insane speed. His mind went crazy while he was standing on the lift to her room’s floor. He knew it, his father was up to something and he wasn’t able to stop it though during the past two days, he kept his eyes on him.

He held the knob and opened it hoping that she wasn’t hurt. What he saw next, makes his blood boiled in anger.

“Cho Hee…What happened here?” He asked worriedly, as he saw blood dripping on her hands. He didn’t wait for her response, and lifted her up bridal style and brought her to the bathroom. He rinsed her hand in the running water. She winced in pain while tears fell uncontrollably down her cheeks.

“Sorry…I wasn’t able to stop them…” She sobbed harder.

He didn’t say a word. He stood up to get the first aid kit. “Stay there…”

He went back seeing her still sitting at that same place where he left her. He knelt down and took her hand and put betadine solution to the wound as he blows air to ease the pain she feels. He wrapped it with gauze and placed a kiss on it afterwards.

“I’m sorry…” His tears that he’s been trying to hold, escaped the moment he laid his eyes on her.

“It’s not your fault…” She cupped his face and wiped his tears dry.

“It is…” He kissed her hand again. “I’m going to make things right…I would not let anyone hurt you and my baby…I promise I’ll protect you…”

____________________________________________

“APPA!!” He stormed his way onto his room, with rage in his eyes. The bodyguards tried to stop him but the moment they see those deadly stare in his eyes, they move away and let him in.

“OH SON! What brings you here?” The old man smiled slyly at him.

“APPA! WHY DID YOU HURT HER??” He held onto his collar tightly as if he was intentionally strangling him. If his father is evil and so is he. He learned it from him and he could kill anyone that will lay their hands on Cho Hee.

“I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM HER!” His father yelled back, choking on some words as his son tightened his grip more.

“YOU KNOW WHAT I’M CAPABLE OF DOING,SON…THAT’S JUST A SAMPLE OF WHAT I CAN DO TO HER WHEN YOU CONTINUE THIS STUPID LOVE AFFAIR OF YOURS!” Chan Sook let go of his father and punched him straight to the face.

“IT’S NOT AN AFFAIR! I LOVE HER AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE HER ‘TIL MY DYING DAY!”

The older man just smirked from his son’s words. “I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET FEELINGS GET IN THE WAY! BUT YOU DISAPPOINTED ME! YOU’RE WEAK JUST LIKE ANYBODY ELSE!”

“APPA! PLEASE SPARE HER LIFE AND MY SON’S LIFE! THAT’S THE ONLY THING I ASK FROM YOU! AND I’LL DO EVERYTHING YOU WANT ME TO DO…” He desperately begged on his knees and Cho Hee’s image appeared on his mind the moment he closed his eyes.

______________________________________________

A week passed, she already recovered from the incident. He insisted that she should live with her best friend so there would be someone who will look over her when he’s not there. He would call her every night and say words of love to her so she could fall asleep. And he oftentimes cries when he hanged up, knowing that the girl she loves most is suffering because of him.

“Oppa…” She threw herself onto him and hugged him as tight as she could. “I missed you so bad…” Her cheeks blushed.

“Let’s break up…” He blurted out while staring at his feet.

“You’re joking right?” She forced a smile. “Wait here…I’ll prepare you a dinner...”

“Let’s break up…I couldn’t lie to you anymore…” Those words made her momentarily stop.

“I thought I love you…but I realized I was wrong when I was not spending time with you recently…you’re a habit that is so hard to break…your kisses are drugs that makes me insane…and before I knew it, I became obsessed with the feeling which I mistakenly took as ‘Love’…”

“STOP! YOU’RE LYING! STOP!” She lifted his chin up and stared in his eyes. “Tell it to me while looking straight in my eyes…”

“….”

“See! You can’t say it cause you’re not telling the truth!” Warm tears flow down her cheeks. As much as he wanted to comfort her and tell her how much he loves her, he couldn’t.

“I’m getting married tomorrow…with the daughter of my father’s best friend…they said their company and connections would help us expand our businesses in Europe and North America…”

“Is this what you really wanted?” She asked, afraid to hear what his answer is.

He nodded, with his heart shredding to pieces.

 “Then do what you have to do…” She can’t be selfish. She knew this would happen but she didn’t know it would hurt this bad.

“Sorry…”

“Don’t be…”

“Thank you…”

“Uhm…” She nodded.

“Bye…”

‘Here comes goodbye…comes the pain, the start of sleepless nights…I wish I never saw that love and care in your eyes when you looked at me…it could’ve been easier to pretend that I don’t love you too…but I can’t cause I will always love you even if it pains me…’

I was born again the day you return my kisses…

I died inside the moment I left you alone…

But I’ll forever live with the love you gave me…

And will always remember the times when you loved me…

‘I love you Cho Hee …but love just ain’t enough for me to protect you…I’m sorry…’

*End of Flashback*

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A/N: There's a part 2 to this chapter...

Kim Chan Sook is Jaejoong's father...Han Cho Hee is Yoochun's and Jaejoong's  mother ...

comment replies later...thanks for all the comments! Saranghaeyo! ^^

The chapter was kinda boring I know...*mianhae*