Chapter 16: Truth

[Friday June 28th, 2013]

Youngjae's arm is wrapped around my shoulder as we stroll around the school grounds.  He gave me his snapback so I can cover my eyes from the sun and he walks near me, giving me shade.  We are looking for a cool bench under the trees that is available for just the two of us.  On a day like this, it would feel good to be hidden from the blazing sun, under the refreshing shadows of things outside.

At last, we find a place where the leaves were thick and where a bench was perfectly placed underneath the trees.  Youngjae and I sit down on the seat.

- "Um, oppa. I think it you can let go of me now," I tell Youngjae, referring to my shoulders.

- "Mh... Aniyo. I like staying like this. It's comfortable," he refuses.

- "Oppa, you're adding your body heat to the already hot weather," I complain.

- "But aren't I cool?" he jokes.  I roll my eyes at the lame pun he made.

Instead of waiting for him to finish laughing, I move his arm away by myself.  I slide a little further away from him to cool off.

- "Oh come on. Can't I just stay close to you?" Youngjae whines after calming down.

- "I see you every day. Do you really have to?" I argue.  He nods with a pout.  When he puts on a normal expression, he moves next to me and brings his face close to mine.  He smiles cutely at me.  I look in his eyes before turning away.  "What?"

- "You're really pretty," he compliments.  I blush slightly.

- "Why are you telling me this so suddenly?" I question, still looking away.  He shrugs.

- "I don't know. Am I not allowed to?" he inquires. He puts his arm around my shoulders again.

- "Ani. That's not what I said. It's just that you're kind of random," I explain.  "I mean..."

I stop mid-sentence.  I feel Youngjae's soft fingers meet the skin of my chin.  He gently turns my head so I gaze into his eyes once more.  We stay silent for a bit.  I try to read Youngjae, but he hides his feelings well.

- "O-oppa" I whisper as he stares at my lips.  I don't move, waiting for some kind of answer from Youngjae.

- "Can I be selfish for once?" he says, confusing me.  He stares into my eyes again.

- "What are you–"

I get cut off.  My eyes widen.  Youngjae and I push each other away after hearing the sudden noise.

"Did you hear that?" Youngjae whispers.  I don't answer.  Instead, I just touch my lips.

It was so close. We almost...

Youngjae looks around, trying to find the source of the sound that had just broke the moment.  I look too, after snapping out of my daze.

"Jooyeon?" he calls.

I turn around to look in the same direction as Youngjae.  I find Jooyeon coming out of her hiding spot from behind the tree.

- "Oh annyeong! I didn't see you guys there," Jooyeon lies.  It's obvious in her voice.

- "What are you doing here?" Youngjae questions Jooyeon.  I stay silent.

- "Me? Nothing," she answers with hand motions.

- "Gwaenchanha? It looks like you tripped," Youngjae tries to keep in his chuckle.

I stare at Jooyeon.  Her knees and hands are full of dirt.  She quickly dusts them clean, trying her best to cover up the truth.  I know she was spying on Youngjae and I.  I know she fell on the ground, making the noise that interrupted 'our moment'. It was obvious.  She wasn't good at lying.

"Tripped? Me? Ani! Gweanchanhayo! Just, uh, go back to what you were doing and I'll just leave," she decides.  We watch as she walks away while limping.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I sit up straight.  I shift, trying to find a more comfortable position in my chair.  The teacher continues to speak, answering a student's question.  I take my pencil and start to doodle on a paper.  I check the time.

Only three minutes left until school ends. Then I can run home.

I put my hand over my mouth, covering a yawn I let out.  I stretch my arms a bit, tightening my muscles before I stand up later.  At my right, Yugyeom rips a piece of paper and writes on it.  He then sits up and fixes his gaze on the teacher. He makes sure the teacher isn't looking at him, then passes the note to me.  I stare at him confusingly for a moment before he gestures me to read it.

{Meet me on the roof after class}

I glance at Yugyeom confusingly, but he is already looking away.  I look at the time.  One minute left.  The teacher concludes the lesson then the bell rings.

"Please come alone," Yugyeom tells me quickly then leaves the class in a rush.

I try to speak to him, but he already left.

Quite suspicious. He's ignoring me. I wonder what he has in mind. What kind of prank is he going to pull on me?

I walk out of the classroom to tell Youngjae to leave without me.  When he's gone, I walk to my locker and get my books.  Watching as people leave the school, I pout, wishing I was them.  I don't try rushing because, knowing Yugyeom, I was going to stay here for a while.  I head for the door leading to the roof. I go up the flight of stairs and made it to the top in a matter of minutes.  I am not surprised that Yugyeom is nowhere in sight.  I guess I'll just have to wait for him.

After twenty minutes, I am already pacing around.  I was getting impatient.  I could be at home, watching a new episode of a recent drama, instead of waiting for a guy who possibly just pranked me.

What am I still doing here!?

After hearing a click and squeaking of an opening door, I close my eyes and sigh.

"Kim Yugyeom," I say through gritted teeth.  "Do you know how long I waited?" I open my eyes.  "I have other things to do, you know?"

I turn around to look at Yugyeom... But I don't see him.

- "BamBam...? Where is Yugyeom?" I question the smaller boy, standing by the metallic door.

- "Um, well... You see..." BamBam trails off while scratching the back of his head.

- "Yah, if he left the school, he's gonna get some serious consequences," I spit out my thoughts.

- "A-ani. He's actually downstairs," he informs.

- "That crazy kid!" I head for the door, planning on hunting the boy down.  But BamBam stops me.

- "Actually, I was the one who wanted to talk to you. I asked Yugyeom to tell you to come up here." he reveals.

- "Oh... Um, so what's up?" I set aside my angry emotions and speak in a calm tone.

- "Uh, well. I had this... conversation with Yugyeom, a while ago. I didn't know what I was supposed to do from that point. But I've put a lot of... thought in it. Especially these past weeks. And I asked a lot of people for help and advice, and now I wanted to know what you think," BamBam talks slowly, and carefully chooses his words.  I raise a brow at him.

What was he talking about?

BamBam slids his hands in his pockets and sighs.  There is a moment of silence.  I stand in front of him, waiting for an explanation or a clarification to what had been said. I looked at him worried but confused as well.  I wasn't sure what was going on, but his voice was soft, and it seemed as if the boy was going to break down.

"Yunhee," he starts, his eyes shut.  "I know you like Youngjae sunbae. You've told me many times and I can see it very clearly," he looks up at me, right into my eyes.  "But... I hope you can take in consideration my feelings..." he sighs again.  "Yunhee, I like you... more than as friend,"

I'm shocked by his words.  Although this news is not new to me, I'm surprised.  I'm not sure why.  I guess hearing 'he likes you' from others gives a completely different feeling than hearing 'I like you' from the guy himself.

BamBam turns around.  I stare at his backside, as that is all I can look at.

"I know you don't feel the same way. And I know that you'll probably feel awkward around me after this. But I wanted you to know..." he continues.

So Yugyeom didn't tell him about me after all.

"I wanted you to at least spare my heart. It hurts when I see the two of you together," he pauses for a second.  "I hope you can do that for me. Please. I–"

I don't let the boy finish.  I back hug him, trying to comfort him.

"Please don't be sad right now," I say, but my words are slightly muffled by his shirt.

I can feel him nod slowly, as a response to what I said.  I step away, then go around him.  I face the boy, but he doesn't look at me.  I punch his arm lightly, a frown on my face.

"You're so depressing," I complain, but of course I don't mean it completely.  BamBam looks at me and cracks a small smile.  I do the same.

I give him another hug, making our cheeks touch.

"I like that you told me," I whisper in his ear.  "It was relieving,"

I pull my head away slightly, just enough to be able to look at BamBam.  He looks at me confused. I smirk at him.  I have an unexpected idea in my head, and I don't think before I move.  I peck him on the cheek, not thinking about the possible outcomes of this action.  I quickly retract from the hug.  BamBam looks shocked.  He touches his cheek with his hand, covering half of the blush on his surprised face.  He looks at me, his mouth agape, seeming partially worried.

- "But Yunhee... You and Youngjae...? How can you...?" BamBam stutters.  My lips curve up again.  I reach for his hand —the one on his cheek— and I intertwine our fingers.

- "You wanted me to spend time with you more, right?" I recall.

- "Huh? Wha–" BamBam starts.

I pull him towards the door.

- "Wait, Yunhee. Where are we–" BamBam tries to stop.

- "Don't worry. Just follow me," I cut him off and I continue to drag him away.

BamBam continues to say things like "wait" or "you're running too fast" while I hurry down the stairs.  I don't reply to anything he says; I just smirk to myself.  I stop swiftly, noticing something as we reach the bottom of the steps.

"Hyung! They're here!" the boy in front of me pulls his friend next to him.

Soon enough, three other guys appeared next to them.  In order, from left to right were JB, Mark, Yugyeom, Jackson and Jr.  I quickly let go of BamBam's hand, trying to lower the chances of stupid thoughts the five boys might have.

- "What are they doing here?" I question BamBam.

- "We were waiting for the two of you to come down," Jackson replies for the boy.

I roll my eyes and proceed to walk away, past all of them.  Behind me I can hear them whisper to each other.

- "Yah, what happened?" Jackson asks his friend.

- "Nothing. I just told her and them we came downstairs," BamBam answers.

- "That's it? Impossible!" JB comments.

- "I saw you two holding hands when you were coming down. What is that all about?" Yugyeom speaks.

- "Jinjja!? Omo!" Jr. gasps.  "Are you two da-"

- "BamBam, are you coming?" I call, stopping Jinyoung.

They all look at each other, then back at me.  BamBam —who had Jackson's arm around his shoulders and Yugyeom's hold on his arm— gets out of his friends' grip and walks towards me.

"Ye, let's go," he agrees.

I glare at the others before walking away with BamBam.  I was hoping that they wouldn't come with us, but they still ended up following.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The guys and I left the school a few hours ago.  We walked to a cafe, where we had some sweets to eat.  Before going to an arcade, I called home to say I was coming later than usual.  After playing a bunch of games for a few hours, we all decided to eat.  It was already around 7:30, so supper seemed like a good idea.  After eating, we went to a shop, for the last adventure of the day.  And during the whole trip, some of the boys were asking BamBam and I about what had happened on the roof of the school.  We answered vaguely, not wanting to give too much information away.

I watch as the five guys are all amazed by this toy that they found on one of the shelves.  I get a sudden bitter feeling inside of me.

Must have been something I ate at the cafe.

They are all focused on the object at the moment.  Taking the opportunity, I tap BamBam's shoulder.  He turns towards me.  I quickly take his hand and pull him away from the others.  We quietly get out of the shop.  I bring him to an dark alley near the shop, where no one could see us.

- "What are we doing?" BamBam chuckles.

- "What does it look like? We are leaving the shop," I state the obvious.  "We were suppose to spend time together today, but we couldn't get time alone,"

- "So your plan is to run away?" BamBam questions.

- "Mh... Not really. I just wanted to be with you for a few minutes, without people interrupting anything," I say in a low voice.

- "So... a mini date?" he suggests.

I take his other hand and intertwine our fingers.  We move closer together, our noses almost touching.

- "Whatever you want to call it," I shrug.

- "Then I officially call this a date," BamBam jokes.  We laugh for a bit, and make our foreheads touch.  "I like you,"

- "Is this another confession from the great BamBam?" I tease, though I can feel blood rush up to my cheeks.

- "If it is, would you tell me what you feel?" he inquires.  His smile disappeared.

I back away, still holding his hands.  I don't look at him.  I think hard about my next words.

What do I say now? Do I keep this crush a secret, or do I reveal my feelings? Ignoring the question would make BamBam less of a bother to Youngjae. Their mental fight wouldn't grow as much than if I do say the truth: Youngjae wouldn't worry about BamBam, because the younger doesn't know what I feel. However, if I convey my true answer to the boy, he would be happier. I know the feeling when you find out the one you like feels the same towards you: pleasure, joy, happiness. I enjoyed those emotions. And I would enjoy it if he felt the same things.  But I would also enjoy it if Youngjae relaxed a bit; I miss when he wasn't fighting for a spot. He seemed so much brighter. So, what do I want more? And what would be better for the three of us?

I'm back!  Sorry I took awhile again.  My reasonings are:

1) I got lazy again;

2) I got a slight writer's block for a while;

3) I was caught up in doing homework and stuff.

And as you probably noticed, this chapter is very cheesy, has fluff and is kinda weird (in my personnal opinion).

BUT ANYWAY! HAVE YOU AWESOME PEOPLE WATCHED DREAM KNIGHT? My mind exploded after episode 8 and I was barely able to work on anything for hours without thinking about the episode.  And episode 9! Oh my goodness...

I think I should just stop talking because I don't think I'll ever end if I start...

Bye bye! God bless you!