Chapter 10: Addition

[Monday May 27th, 2013]

I enter the classroom after fighting with Youngjae.  I sit next to Yugyeom and rest my head on my arms.

- "Noona. What's wrong?" Yugyeom asks me after he notices my presence.  I ignore the name he gives me and I sit straight.

- "We fought," I explain briefly.  He looks at me confusingly.  "Youngjae. He's mad at me now," I clarify.

- "You guys fought? But weren't you just fine during lunch?" he asks.

- "Ne (yes). But he saw me outside with BamBam... He thinks we did something," I tell him.

- "But didn't you?" he questions with a light chuckle.  I glare at the boy.

- "Yah (hey). We didn't do anything, arraseo (okay)?" I say.

I start to explain what happened between me and Youngjae.  Yugyeom listens attentively, not asking a single question.  He thinks for awhile, processing what I've just told him.

- "You should just apologize," he tells me.  "It was your words that made him walk away. So technically, it's your fault he's mad," he explains.

- "Can't he apologize? His words hurt me too," I state.

- "Noona, he's a guy. I don't think he'll want to come out as someone weak and say sorry first," he reveals.

- "How would you know?" I inquire.

- "Of course I would know! I'm a guy too!" he answers.

- "Oh! Jinjja (really)!? Mollaseo (I didn't know)," I joke.

- "Noona!!" Yugyeom whines.  He pouts cutely.

- "I'm just kidding! Relax," I laugh.

- "But I'm serious though. Just apologize and tell him that you didn't mean what you said," he reminds me.

Before I can ask any more questions, our teacher enters.

I guess I'll just go with what Yugyeom said...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's already the end of the day and I still haven't talked to Youngjae since our fight.  He didn't show up at my locker during any of the breaks, so I guess he's still mad.  After my last class, I bolted out to look for Youngjae's locker.  I have to be there before he leaves.

When I see him, he's putting his books away.  I'm happy that most of the people are already gone.  I approach him slowly, getting anxious on how he will react.  I quickly recapitulate what I will tell him.

"Y-Youngjae oppa," I call softly.

He turns his head and glances behind him.  When he spots me, he stares at me for a few seconds before returning to what he was doing.  Like I guessed, his anger has not yet diminished.

"Youngjae oppa, mianhe (I'm sorry). I... I don't know what I was saying. It was stupid of me to let out such words," I confess.

He slams his locker door shut and I jump back in shock.  He swiftly turns around to face me, one strap of his bag on his shoulder.

- "There's no need for you to apologize. There was nothing wrong with what you said. You just spoke the truth. And I did as well. I don't have any meaning to you. So mianhe for always complaining to you," he says and leaves.

- "Youngjae oppa..." I want to stop him but he continues walking.

This is just great. Gomawo (thanks) Yugyeom. You really helped my situation. I think I'm going to ask for more advice from you next time...

I follow Youngjae, wanting to talk to him some more.  I need to make sure this problem is settled.

"Youngjae oppa, wait..." I say again.  He walks faster, trying to lose me.  "Can you just listen to me!?" I shout, stopping in place and then pausing for a second.  "You were the only one who comforted me when my parents fought. You were the only one who could cheer me up. You always made me happy. You made me feel special. You protected me and looked after me... You are my best friend," I orate.  He slowly stops in place.  "Does that sound like I don't care about you?" I ask and he glances back.  "Oppa, you mean so much to me. I can't even explain. You have to know that," I reveal.  My words are very corny but this is what I truly feel.  His feet begin to move again, bringing him away.  "I hope I can still see you tonight," I say finally, referring to our appointment in just a few hours.  I turn in the other direction and leave.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maybe he's not coming...

I glance at the clock on my livingroom wall.  It's been twenty minutes.  I've been sitting on this couch, waiting for Youngjae, for twenty minutes.  I got home a few hours ago and I already changed into new clothes.  He was supposed to pick me up twenty minutes ago.  I'm starting to lose hope because he's never this late.  Now that I think of it, he usually comes earlier than the time he actually says he'd arrive.

I stand up, ready to go back to my room and change into some pajamas.  Just as I pass the front door to head for the stairs, the doorbell rings.  When I answer it, I'm surprised to find Youngjae on the other side.

- "Annyeong," he greets with a soft smile.  "You ready?" he asks.

- "Uh, ne... Just hold on a second," I answer, surprised not only his by his change of mood, but by his presence alone.

I leave the door open and go back inside.  Looking for my things, I cross my eomma in the hallway.

- "Who's at the door?" she questions.

- "Youngjae oppa. We're going somewhere," I tell her.

- "You're going out on another date?" she continues to inquire.

- "Aniyo (no) eomma! It's not a date," I disagree.

- "Whatever you say. It seems like it to me," she says as she walks away.

Shrugging off her words, I grab my iPod and my wallet then I stuff them in my pockets.  I go back out and close the door behind me.  Youngjae and I start to leave.  He walks ahead of me and I follow.  We don't say anything but I know where he's going: the park.  Arriving there, we sit on our bench.  Silence is still present for a few minutes, giving me time to think about what I'm going to say.

- "Mianhe," he suddenly apologizes.  He doesn't look at me.  "I was so cold to you. I didn't want to say those things. But I was just so mad... And you're right. I keep on assuming things and believing nonsense. It's just that the thought of you giving up on me gets to my head. And I guess I just lose control," he explains.  I look at him with sad eyes.

- "Youngjae oppa. I think I should tell you something," I turn away, not able to look in his eyes.  "I... I lied to you. I didn't keep our promise. I ended up liking someone else. We just got close... And things just happened," I confess.

- "It's BamBam, right? The guy you're talking about is BamBam," he supposes.  I nod slowly and he sighs.

- "Mianhe..." I apologize and I shut my eyes.

A moment passes and I feel Youngjae's arm around my shoulders.  I open my eyes out of shock.   He pulls me closer in a matter of seconds and I slowly look at him.  His gaze is fixed on the sunset in front of us.  He takes deep breathes, probably trying to calm himself down.  I smile slightly and turn to the same direction, admiring the scenery as well.  Silence descends upon us again and not much is heard.  Hopefully my heartbeat cannot be perceived by the ear either.  I mean, if the person you like is this close to you, then wouldn't you start getting nervous?

After a while, I start feeling tired and my head falls to the side, on Youngjae's shoulder.  My eyes close slowly and Youngjae's soft voice is the last thing I hear before falling asleep.

"These fights wouldn't have happened if I hadn't left you. Mianhe. Please forgive me..."

[Friday May 31st, 2013]

I walk towards my first class, wondering what we'll be doing today. When I approach the classroom, I spot Yugyeom standing at the door.  He seems to be talking with... BamBam?

- "What are you two doing here?" I ask them.  BamBam holds onto my shoulders.

- "Why didn't you tell us that Youngjae hyung was going to start training with us!?" BamBam panics.

Oh! That's right. I almost forgot. Youngjae is soon going to be a trainee in JYP.  He told me this a few days ago.  I remember I was so proud of him.  I mean, he will be training in one of the biggest entertainment companies in Korea.  Not to mention it's the same company as 2PM, 2AM, Wonder Girls, Miss A, 15&, Joo, Beak Ahyeon and, of course, JJ Project.  Who wouldn't be happy?

- "Oh... I didn't think you'd really be interested in knowing..." I say, with a slight chuckle.  "Was I suppose to tell you?"

- "Ani, it's just that..." BamBam stops.  He sighs deeply while ruffling his hair, not bothering to continue.

- "What he's trying to say is that we think he's the missing piece to our group. The hyungs and us heard his voice, and he's what we need," Yugyeom explains for his friend.

- "Jeongmal (really)!? That's awesome!" I express.

- "But there's just one problem..." he adds.  My smile fades and I look at Yugyeom confusingly.  "To be completely honest with you, BamBam and I... don't really like him," he finishes quickly.  I furrow my brows.

- "What do you mean 'don't really like him'? He's super nice and he's very kind," I defend my bestfriend.

- "Well, noona. It's kinda complicated," Yugyeom starts.  BamBam looks to him in confusion.

- "Since when did you call Yunhee 'noona'?" BamBam questions him.

Yugyeom covers his own mouth swiftly.  He hasn't been calling me that whenever we were around BamBam, since he's the reason why Yugyeom calls me noona in the first place.

- "Oh... Did I say noona? I meant Yunhee," Yugyeom lies.

- "Yunhee! Why did he call you noona? I want to call you noona too!" BamBam complains, ignoring Yugyeom's words.  I try to think of an excuse to tell him.

- "Well look at the time! BamBam, I think you should head to class before you're late," I inform him, looking at my invisible watch.

- "Wait, but can–" he tries to say.

- "Come on Yugyeommie! Let's go inside now," I pull the tall boy in the classroom, leaving our friend to stand there.

- "That was a close one noona," Yugyeom whispers to me.  I just nod.  We sit at our places —which are right next to each other.

- "You have a lot of explaining to do later," I tell Yugyeom, referring to the talk about Youngjae.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's lunch already and Youngjae left for a doctor's appointment.  BamBam is working on a project with Jooyeon in the library so I'm with Jinyoung oppa and Yugyeom.

- "Tell me again why you dislike Youngjae oppa so much," I talk to Yugyeom, pointing my spoon at him.  He groans.

- "Noona! I told you so many times already! He's taking you away from my best friend! Without you around, BamBam becomes so miserable... I pity him so much," Yugyeom answers, finishing with a pout.  He then continues eating like he didn't say anything.

- "I have to agree with you on that one," Jr. says after swallowing his food.

- "So you don't like Youngjae oppa either?" I ask the elder boy with a disappointed expression.

- "Ani. I think he's alright. He's very nice and he has the voice we were looking for. And I have to admit, he has quite a charm,"  he responds while nodding to himself. On the side, Yugyeom just stares at the other weirdly, probably disagreeing.  "But, I do prefer you with BamBam," he adds, as he leans in.

He smiles at me.  Yugyeom then high-fives his hyung, because they have the same opinion.  I just roll my eyes at the two, then I take a big bite out of my meal.

- "So what do the others think of Youngjae oppa," I canvass.  I'm curious to know.  The two look at each other, then back at me.

- "Mmh... I guess Jaebum thinks the same as me. I mean, he hasn't been complaining..." Jinyoung starts.  "Unlike someone here," he nudges the younger boy, referring to him.

- "Well I'm not the only one who doesn't like Youngjae hyung. Mark hyung and Jackson hyung think the same too. It's just that they don't show it," Yugyeom reveals.

- "How do you know that?" the older inquires.  The maknae looks at the two of us and then shrugs.

- "They told me," he answers.  "Anyways, it doesn't really matter what they think. The problem is the one person who dislikes Youngjae hyung the most," he states.  We all know who he's talking about.

- "BamBam," the three of us say at the same time.

- "It's really sad because he's always telling me how much he's annoyed with Youngjae hyung," Yugyeom continues.

- "Didn't he break stuff while he was getting mad?" Jinyoung questions.

- "Ye (yes). He broke some cups," Yugyeom says.  I raise a brow.

If BamBam rages like that behind Youngjae oppa's back, then what will he be like towards him?

- "How did he break the cups?" I ask.

- "If I remember correctly, one of our mugs fell off the table because he accidentally hit it. Uh... A glass cup fell on the floor because he wasn't paying attention to where the counter was. And... one cup slipped out of Jackson hyung's hand because BamBam bumped into him," Yugyeom lists and I sigh in relief.  At first, I thought he broke them out of anger.  At least these are all accidents.

- "How many things did he break?" Jr. wonders, since they don't live together.

- "Mh... I'm not sure... I lost count. But you know, he also hit a vase in the lobby of our dorm. He got yelled at after it broke," Yugyeom laughs, and Jinyoung and I join in after.

The younger boy continues telling stories about his bestfriend's clumsiness.  However, I barely listen to his words because I'm deep in thought.

So Jaebum oppa and Jinyoung oppa don't mind Youngjae oppa. Then, the four others don't like him; Mark oppa and Jackson oppa hide it, then the two maknaes carelessly show it. *sigh* All this because of me... If these guys really end up becoming a group, I hope they get along. I have to try my best to help them...

Hello!! It's nice to "see" you again! Here's the chapter!

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