Kai's POV

I'm sorry that you all have to wait so long for this update

And thank you that you still here reading my story :)

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Kai's POV

I was ing a when Baekhyun and Chanyeol hyung happened to kick the door opened and stopped me doing my business. I wasn't really ing a , just FYI. And I wasn't drunk. I was in 'awake' mode but with just a half of my sanity. I was really angry with them but that wasn't the reason why I stepped to this bar. I was just pretending. All this , was just a pretend.

Well... I was just too disappointed. I went to the hospital to check on my hyung's condition. Even though, they really made me angry, they were still my hyungs and that little maknae was just like my closest friend. I was walking along the corridor when I happened to hear Soojin's voice. I was so curious to see her in a fine condition, so yeah...I eavesdropped the conversation between the doctor and her.

And . That girl had been lying. She wasn't even fainted. She just pretended to. So..She made Exo panic and blamed me for just a game?? Was that all? She made my hyungs and even that maknae shouted at me and ruined me mentally, and I ing tortured them until they had to get into the hospital only for her joke. I was very mad, but at that time, I didn't confront her. I was so confused and so disappointed and in that kind of situation, all I could think is the bar. The bar could erase all of my problems, or at least I felt like that.

So, intead of walking forward to see my hyungs and sehun, I walked back and drove my car to the bar. I actually didn't plan to a girl, I didn't even have a mood to do so, which meant....Soojin was really succeed in changing me. Yes, she changed me. I didn't turn on when I saw some y es at the bar, and I swore, I didn't let a landed her hand on me. Oh hell, I even ignored my favorite mate there, and refused to sleep with her and she approached me. Actually, I just planned to have some drink to clear my minds.

But then, I saw Soojin entered the bar. And I knew that she would not go here, she wasn't they type of girl that would go to this kind of place. She was just such a good girl that she would never step to this dirty place if there was no urgent situation. And then, I got it. She could have seen me before, maybe at the hospital, or on the way to get here, or...Exo might tell her that I was so furious and I thought she was smart enough to guess I would go to this bar whenever I had a problem. So..I pulled a random and got a room. Oh, I always served room 36, as that was my favorite room and the biggest room, also the only room that had a bathroom inside.

I told the to play a long. I wanted to make a revenge. So...Yeah, I wanted Soojin to feel fail in changing me. Never had she failed, so I thought of making her taste the feeling of failure. It wasn't that I wanted to hurt her, i just wanted to make a little revenge. But maybe...That didn't turn out as I had expected, I didn't expect her to be that shocked and angry. I didn't tend to make her cry. I swore I saw her red eyes, and I swore, I threw the away the moment I saw her, but I guessed she didn't see me doing it, as I saw her running away. And oh , I was already dressed and ready to run for Soojin when I saw Chanyeol, D.O, and Baekhyun hyungs were asking the bartender. , the bartender would tell them soon or later.

So..Yeah...I got back inside the room, I undressed myself again and asked the to play along for the second time. There was no way I would tell them what had happened. I knew that all of them, I didn't say 3 of them, because I knew Suho hyung and even Sehun also loved Soojin. If not loved, at least, they had a crush on her. They would ing beat me for the second time if they knew what I had done.

I drank some cans of beer so my mouth smell alcohol, and I also made mess my hair. I placed myslef on top of the and asked the to moan out loud when 3 of them kicked the door opened. Both of created a convincing scene as D.O hyung excused himself to the toilet and perhaps to vomit. Then..I was being dragged by Baekhyun and Chanyeol hyung.

I pretended to get mad and act as if I was really drunk. , 2 cans of beer could never made me drunk.

Well, in the end I was forced to dress up and they dragged me.

And that was the story.

But...I felt a huge wave of regret inside my heart. Seeing her crying wasn't a beautiful view. I wished that I was fast enough to react and came after her. I wished I wasn't too dumb to do that. But that was what had happened. What should I do??

If she told my hyungs which I actually was sure that she would not, I would be dead. Like seriously, all of them loved her, and I ?? I didn't. My relationship with her was just patient and doctor and that was it. Done.

The first time I saw her, I was quite amazed by her beauty, but at that time, I was so mad that I was dragged to that place. And it wasn't like I have never seen pretty girl before. So becasue of my madness, I was so harsh to her back there. I spoke bad words, I disrespected her, and did stuffs like that in hope that she would just leave me alone. I hoped that she would reject me as her patient because I was too harsh or wild.

But I was definitely wrong. She didn't do that. Instead, she kept on being patient. And I was so sick. So yeah, I did something that she would have never expected, I stole her kiss. And...Well, that happened to be her first kiss. She was so mad to me at that time, and rejected me as her patient. And I was just like...'Yeay, I'm a free man again!!'

But guess what?? I was wrong for the second time. That girl really didn't know when to give up. At first I didn't realize that she followed me to the bar. Only when Exo came after me to the bar and forced me to come back, she suddenly appeared. But, I didn't recognize her at first. Her appearance was the total opposite of her usual style, and so I didn't expect. At that time, she was dressing like a HOT , I meant like seriously, she wore those y tank top that revealled a little shade of ther clavage and I would never forget that mini skirt. Also, she used those thick make up and hot red lipstick. That was totally not her style.

I just dragged her away from Exo and left them dumbfounded there. I ordered some alcohol drink, as I treated her. And Oh My God, her voice was so ing y that I . I swore that I felt my belower getting harder. I really couldn't control my hormones any longer as I ordered the room for both of us. And , she was half drunk, or maybe really drunk. I planted to take advantage of her. But then, I saw her necklace.

I tried to remember where I ahd seen it before becasue I was so damn sure that the necklace looked so familiar. After having a hard time to remember, I saw the similarities of her and my physchologist, and to make sure, I asked her name. And she blurted out that her name was Soojin. I was so damn shocked and I didn't know what to do. I still was turn on, but somehow, just somehow, I felt like I shouldn't do whatever i had planned to do before. In short, I shouldn't take any advantage of her.

After having some debates and fights in both my brain and heart, I decided not to take advantage of her. For the first time in my life, I didn't or I didn't a y girl. I acted like a real gentleman that night. I drove her back to her house and placed her gently on her bed. And for the first time in my life, I felt worried about her, so I decided to stay. But of course, I didn't sleep next to her. She could freak out the next day and thought that I ahd her or something like that. So even though it was so uncomfortable to sleep at the couch, I did sleep there.

The next day, as I had expected, she had too many questions and I asnwered her. Oh...She accepted me back as her patient and strangely I felt like it was okay. At first I ahted her so much, but then, I felt okay with it. I suddenly felt an urge and a motivation to change for the better. I suddenly wanted to stop being a maniac, I suddenly wanted to quit all my abd habits. And I didn't know where were all thsoe feelings from.

SLowly, under her theraphy, I changed. I didn't go the bar a lot anymore. I didn't girls anymore. I changed, I really did.

Then, one day, Exo insisted to take Soojin to Lotte World and well...incident happened. The ferris wheel happened to stop and it took some hours to mend it. And , it was raining. And yes, I acted like a gentleman for the second time. I had a feeling that I had to becasue she had been so nice to me, and I felt like I should be nice to her too. Well, actually also maybe to repay my harsh deed to her before. I didn't let her get wet, but guess she was stubborn and at first refused the jacket that I offered. So..When she was sleeping, I placed the jacket over her, and when she woke up, she scolded me. Yeah, I got a high fever because I was so drenched.

And.. At the night, something unexpected happened. I'll just tell you in short. We MADE OUT. And , I didn't her. I was just joking when I said that I would get better if I ed her and she took it seriously. I meant, well-That was true, usually I would get better after having , but I knew that she still ahd her V-card. She offered me herself. Okay, I thought she was crazy or something, but she did look serious. I was sure I could control myself, but I couldn't resist her when she kissed me. And yeah..You know the rest...We ended at the bed.

And then, all these things happened and became complicated. Then...I started to think about everything. After made out, I had a session with her 2 days later after that night, and she didn't look good. I meant she looked nervous and stuffs, and I understood it completely. Then, yeah, she pretended to faint.

I started to question some possibilities. What if she actually was too nervous and didn't know how to react and so she decided to faint?? That was possible. And actually, I couldn't think other reasons rather than that one.

And if you asked me what I felt towards her?? I really didn't know. True that I felt enjoy when made out with her, but I always felt like that in making session. It could be that I admire her, I mean, I adore her because she could change me into a better person in quite short time. And actually, there was one thing that you all hadn't know.

That I actually was in love. I was in love with the person that I couldn't be in love with. I hated to admit that..