November, 2013

The sky was still dark but a dispersion of bright light at the tip of the horizon had already been seen. The moon and the stars were there—drawn by the God on the wide dark paper—the sky-zone. It was dawn, no longer a tense and scary night. The sound ‘-a-doodle-doo’ from the rooster could be heard already, vaguely. Slowly but surely, the sun would be rising in a count of minute. Though you couldn’t call it morning yet, a girl had woken up since hours ago—or she might have not slept yet. She couldn’t get a proper sleep though. How could she get a proper sleep if her nervousness wouldn’t disappear all night long? Today was just the day.

She ended up taking a bath and getting everything prepared for her first day in her new school after failing on counting sheep for the rest of the night—she had counted the rabbits, cats, and dragonflies before, but she kept on failing. The cold water would be just the cold water. It couldn’t calm her tense up even though she had been flushing her head, body, and feet with it. Her mind kept roaming around—mostly about things that were not necessarily going to happen. She even didn’t realize that she spent almost an hour just to flush herself with the cold water. She then finished it in a go, as quick as possible. The moment she finished her bathe, her room had turned bright and she could clearly see someone sit on the edge of her bed, keeping an eye on her whose body wrapped just by a single towel.

“Did you even blink your eyes last night?”

She sighed heavily. “I slept terribly well.”

“Haruka, I can obviously see your dark circle from my seat right now. How long have we been together?”

So, the girl’s name was Haruka. She wasn’t from Japan or having her blood mixed. She had nobody but her roommate now. It was a long story to tell.

“I’m all better—just—overwhelming—”

“Nervous? Stressed? Frustrated?”

“Minhwa-ya, one hundred percent—I’m sure I’m alright. Do you want toast, cereal, or—”

Minhwa, her roommate shook her head desperately. She definitely could read her anxiety through her expression. And actually Haruka wasn’t the only one who felt nervous and anxious. She, too, felt the same just like her. Haruka—she was just too pure to hide her nervousness.

“You sure you’re okay, Haru-ya?” asked Minhwa once again when they stepped out from their dorm. Haruka nodded unsurely, yet she did it several times to make Minhwa sure that she’s alright. But she knew that she wasn’t okay. You’re okay, you’ll be fine, today you’re so pretty, she tried to convince herself again and again. Even after fifteen minutes walking, her mind was still nowhere but kept on convincing herself.

“I think we will be separated—just this time—we will meet again at lunch. Oh—don’t worry too much, Haru-ya…” Minhwa patted Haruka’s shoulder lightly, to encourage her.

But she just couldn’t! Today, she would be a transferred student in this school, in Seoul. Being a transferred student was always bad. She watched TV a lot back then when she was still in Yeosu. They—the transferred students—were always bullied by other students. Mostly because they were not from Seoul—nerd, geeky, freak—the reasons were basically nonsense. And this was what she was afraid of. She might end up bullied—no—she hoped it happened only on TV because she had no hide out. Minhwa—her roommate—wouldn’t be in the same class with her.

A young lady came towards Haruka at the moment she was wondering about ‘what her wannabe classmates would think and react about her’. She ought to be Haruka’s homeroom teacher. Well, she assumed she was. She wore a purple blouse and a skirt which had the same color but a little bit lighter. Her hair was tied neatly like a ponytail. Her eyes were covered by black-thick-glasses which made her look firm yet gracious. She just didn’t fit to work as a teacher. She was totally like a secretary who worked in the office. Haruka was leisurely framing her new homeroom teacher when she suddenly poked Haruka’s elbow, letting her know that they already arrived in front of the class, a place where Haruka had to survive alone. Yes—she was hard to make friends. No, it wasn’t because she’s antisocial—it was just—hard.

“Guys, be quiet please…” The homeroom teacher knocked the table with her ruler in order to make the class quiet.

“You’ve got a new friend from—”

Haruka got the sign to continue because she had no idea where she came from. “Yeosu…” she answered hesitantly. The only respond she heard was ‘whooo’ and that’s it.

“So, your name?” she asked again.

“Haruka.”

“Are you Japanese?” The student at the back asked passionately. Haruka heard that question a lot and she was quite bored to hear it again and again. So, she just shook her head, showing that she wasn’t from Japan, neither was Japanese.

“So, Haruka—what Haruka?” the homeroom teacher asked.

“Just Haruka.”

“Alright then. So, Haruka, my name is Taeyeon. You can meet me if you face any problems. I’ll try to help. And—I’m so sorry before, but we only have one seat left at the back—next to Luhan. Is it okay for you, Haruka?” she pointed out an empty chair at the back, yes, next to a guy named Luhan who was quietly observing her.

He wasn’t the student who asked ‘are you Japanese’ just then. He was just a guy who was just—quietly—really quietly observing. His eyes were sharp enough to weaken a soul. He was just—well, it was hard to describe.

“No problem.” Haruka gave her bright smile to Taeyeon Sonsaengnim as she walked to her seat at the back. Her eyes accidentally met Luhan’s eyes—for just a second. Haruka swore she saw he was glancing at her. But a second later, he turned his face to the other way. Obviously, he was avoiding eye-contact with her.

Right after she sat, a guy in front of her turned his body, facing her. With a very bright smile, he greeted Haruka. “Haruka-sshi, I’m Chanyeol, nice to meet you. Ask me if you have any problems. I’ll help no matter what.” He said. Haruka couldn’t help but to smile back.

“And—be careful with a guy who’s sitting next to you. He’s a predator—if you know what I mean. We have to eat lunch together later.” Chanyeol winked prettily to Haruka.

Haruka made a quick glance to Luhan, the guy who was sitting next to her. He was writing and not paying attention to her, neither to Chanyeol. Well, how predator could be this handsome like a God creature.

***

“This is Kai, Haruka.” Chanyeol pointed a handsome guy in front of them. Then, he came near to Haruka’s ear, whispering. “You can never love him, Haruka. He’s a player.”

“Kai-ya, won’t you greet Haruka?” Chanyeol asked threateningly.

“Haru—ka you said?” Kai asked voicelessly. Chanyeol widened his eyes, making you-know-what-I-mean sign with him.

“Kai-ya, don’t—just don’t.”

“Tch—” Kai laughed disparagingly. “What are you trying to say, huh? I will never like this girl, so don’t make such an eye-contact like that—embarrassing.” Kai walked away and sat with a bunch of boys in the corner of the room. Haruka knew how to place herself. She barely realized that Kai wasn’t an ordinary guy. She meant—well—he’s a kind of popular guy. The fact that those bunch of boys were all handsome and—to be honest, they were all attractive.

“Never like any of them, Haruka. I know them so well.” Chanyeol kept up Haruka’s sight. He found out Haruka was staring them without even blinking.

“Who are they?” Haruka asked blankly.

“Even though they’re my friends, I won’t recommend them to you or you to them. Well, I’m not saying—you have to like me though. They’re nice—best friends of mine, but not to be loved—by you. Can you understand what I mean?”

“Well, yes, I hope so.” She replied. “I won’t match to popular guys—like you—”

“It seems you got me wrong, Haruka-sshi. Let the time show you then. Let’s go—aren’t you hungry?”

“Yeah—but, I’m so sorry. I have to meet my friend. We promised to eat lunch together.” Haruka, somehow, felt heavy to leave Chanyeol. She found it comfortable to be with him.

“Oh, you’ve got a friend? Here? I think you told us you were from Yeosu,”

“Yeah, from Yeosu—with my friend. She’s also a new student like me.”

“Ooh… I see. Ok, then. See you after break time. Remember what I said, Haruka. I really mean it.” And He winked and walked away.

Haruka froze for a moment, looking Chanyeol whose back was getting far and far. She impressed herself. For the first time in her life she got to know someone popular. She witnessed herself Chanyeol rushed to that bunch of boys who were sitting at the corner. It seemed like they had been together in very long time—just like her and Minhwa.

“Oh gosh, is your anxiety getting more severe or what, Haru-ya… I called you like a thousand times but I got no answer. Who is him?” Minhwa almost broke her neck, trying to look at Chanyeol.

“My classmate—he’ my—you can say he’s my only friend. Not yet friend—just—the only one I know. You’ve got some?”

Haruka spotted three students stand behind Minhwa, whispering but sounded like mumbling. They were all pretty—got their hair long and dyed. They also seemed popular. Well, actually, it wasn’t that surprising if Minhwa got popular friends. Back then when they were still in Yeosu, Minhwa also had a lot of friends—mostly popular ones. But Minhwa could never leave Haruka behind.

“He’s quite—you know, Haru-ya. He’s just my type. I’ll go to your class as often as I can. You have to introduce me to him.”

“Yeah, but I’m not that close enough, you know…”

“Nah, nah, nah, I don’t want to hear such a thing. Ah, Haru-ya, they’re my friends.” Minhwa introduced the three of them. “The one with short hair is Jenny. She’s the cheerleader captain in this school. You know I want to join cheerleader, right? It seems like I meet the right person. Jenny will automatically let me in—fixed member.”

“Hello, I’m Song Jenny, the cheerleader captain and—well—I’m quite close with those boys at the corner. No need to ask this friend, Minhwa-ya. I’m close enough with them.” She bragged. “Haven’t I told you that I’m one of those boys’ girl friend?”

“Really?”

“Can’t you tell just by looking? So, what’s her name, Minhwa?”

“Haruka. She’s very nice and—”

Jenny nodded, not interested. “Right next to me is Yumi and this is Sera. Since you’re a friend of Minhwa, you can eat lunch together with us.”

“I’m not into her, Jenny-ah.” Yumi whispered to Jenny’s ear.

“Nonsense, Yumi-ya! What’s with you? Haruka is Minhwa’s friend. You should have manner.” She said while walking.

“They’re very nice, aren’t they, Haru-ya? C’mon, let’s eat. Sera told me earlier, this school has the best jjampong in Seoul. Shall we try?” Minhwa twined her arm to Haruka’s neck, leading her to follow Jenny, Sera, and Yumi. Haruka wasn’t sure if Jenny purposely chose the seat next to that bunch of popular guys or not, but—Luhan, he suddenly glanced at her, the same glance when she was in the class.

“Can you see? Luhan can’t take his eyes on me…” Yumi bragged.

“He must have liked you, Yumi-ya.” Minhwa said  sincerely.

“Of course, I know. I just can’t give myself easily to him.”

They talked and bragged about this and that—leaving Haruka behind. Haruka didn’t even know why she was there at this moment. Her best friend, Minhwa, didn’t even talk to her despite of having interesting talk with her new friends. Haruka never blamed Minhwa for ignoring her. She was the one who couldn’t get along well with people. It’s okay, she always convinced herself. She could talk a lot about anything with Minhwa, later in their room since they were roommate.

The bell suddenly rang, thanks God, she just couldn’t stand anymore sitting between Minhwa’s friends. She just had to go back to her class. At least, Chanyeol would talk to her—about his popular friends, maybe. And all of sudden, without she even realized it, Chanyeol appeared together with Luhan, walking towards her. The problem wasn’t Chanyeol, but a guy next to him, yes, Luhan. He didn’t seem to like Haruka after all. His face became all bitter every time their eyes met. Haruka, herself, didn’t know what was wrong with her—or what was wrong with him.

As if he knew something happen between Haruka and Luhan, Chanyeol stepped out. “Haruka-sshi, how was your lunch?”

“I didn’t really enjoy it—”

“Let me guess why,” Chanyeol pretended to think. “If I were you, I wouldn’t have eaten with them. You know them, don’t you?”

“Jenny, Yumi, and Sera. They’re friends of Minhwa—my roommate. They’re nice and easy going.” As Haruka lied, she heard Luhan sniggled unsoundly. Chanyeol shook his head. “We know them better than you do. It’s okay, forget it. C’mon, we got to be late.”

So, that was how Haruka spent this day, meeting new friends, eating lunch together with Minhwa’s friends—all fun. Nope, of course she never really meant it. Before, she had never got jealous with Minhwa all her entire life, but this time, she had to admit it. It wasn’t because she’s jealous that Minhwa got along with Jenny’s et al. It was more like she was jealous because Jenny’s et al got her Minhwa. She had no one to talk to—about a guy who glared her very often today.

***

“Sorry, Haru-ya, really sorry… I have my cheerleader costume done today, so I have to pick it up at Jenny’s house. I’m sorry…” Minhwa whined while having her palms rubbed each other several times. Haruka rolled her eyes. “What for, Minhwa-ya? It’s not like I don’t know the way back home.”

“Still—we should have walked home together,”

“I won’t get lost.”

Minhwa sighed heavily. “It’s not that—”

“Don’t worry too much,” Haruka said to Minhwa who seemed to worry so much.

“I won’t worry then, so go home quickly. It’s getting dark.”

“Ok. See you later.” Haruka waved her right hand and Minhwa did the same too.

Minhwa set off first, running towards Jenny’s car at the parking area. Haruka could only see her back getting far. They used to be together all the time. It hurt to know the fact today she would be walking alone.

But the problem appeared even before Haruka got home. Minhwa had already warned her about getting dark thing, so better for her to go home as quick as possible, but the problem—it’s getting dark. Slowly, her sight got blurred. She still could see the street but not as clear as before. As the sun totally set, she gradually lost her sight. Haruka could only figure out what’s bright what’s not—nearly blind. Yes, she had night-blindness—losing her ability to see at night.

Haruka walked slowly, but she felt unsure about the way home because she couldn’t see. She was walking smoothly until her foot tripped a big rock in front of her. Her body bumped onto the paved road, leaving a big scar on her right knee. It was bleeding, but she didn’t care. She had to go home no matter what. At this time, she suddenly remembered Minhwa. She would never let Haruka trip or fall onto the street. But there was no Minhwa. What could she do? Crying while asking for help? Haruka—although she felt useless and helpless, she wouldn’t ask for help.

“Are you alright?” A nice and angelic voice broke her anxiety. It was a boy’s sound. A pair of hands grabbed her arms, helping her to stand up. It was warm.

“I’m—alright. Thanks.”

“But you don’t seem so. You got your knee bleeding.” He insisted.

“I’m tripped, but I’m okay. Thanks for helping me.” Haruka bowed but he was standing behind him, so it was a useless bow after all.

“How can you trip—well, the rock—it is as big as a basketball. Besides, you walked too close to the wall.”

“I’m okay, really, sorry for troubling you.”

“No—problem.” He stuttered.

Haruka exhaled. She should have asked him to help her, but she just couldn’t. At this state, where you couldn’t even differentiate which one was a basketball and which one was a rock. In fact, she was tripped by a rock which was as big as a basketball, nonsense. But, well, as she kept on trying to find a way back home, she was once again tripped. This time wasn’t a rock but—

“Ouch—” Haruka groaned as she felt her right foot plop in the water. She was sure, it wasn’t just water. It might be a ditch.

That pair of hands grabbed her arms once again, tightly. “Are you really okay? Just tell me your address. I will take you home.”

“Didn’t I say I’m okay before?! Stop helping me!” Haruka slammed those warm hands off from her arms. She felt . She hated herself so much now. So much hating until her tears flow down without she even realized it. She didn’t want to burden that nice guy. She didn’t want to show her weak side.

It seemed like another person was coming. Haruka heard the footsteps clearly.

“Haruka? What’s the matter?”

A familiar voice, but who had it?

“Baekhyun-ah, what’s wrong with her?”

So the name of the guy was Baekhyun—the one who helped Haruka get up after tripped. After hearing his voice, Haruka was pretty sure that the one who just came was Chanyeol, his only friend in the class. Why would he run all the way here?

“She was tripped and fell. I tried to help her but she said she was alright. But then, she plopped her foot in the ditch. I was trying to help before you came, but she kept refusing me.”

“It’s okay Haruka. Baekhyun is my friend. He won’t harm you—”

“Yeah—I know—I just don’t want to burden you.”

Chanyeol then helped Haruka getting her feet out of the ditch. “Are you sick?” He asked.

“No—just—”

“Your face is getting pale. I’m afraid I can’t take you home tonight—I have an appointment.” Chanyeol said.

“No, no, I’m alright.”

“Let Baekhyun take you home, Haruka. You’re not alright.” Chanyeol kept insisting.

“But I—I—”

“Go piggyback her. I don’t think she can even walk at this state.” He said to Baekhyun. “Haruka, tell him your address. He will take you home. Just let me know if he did something wrong.”

“I can walk,” Haruka mumbled.

“Your knee is bleeding. It must have hurt a lot. Don’t suffer your feet, Haruka. I guarantee myself—Baekhyun will never harm you. I trust him like I trust my brother.”

Baekhyun squatted, letting his back to be ridden by her. Without saying much, Chanyeol pushed Haruka’s back gently to Baekhyun’s back. Baekhyun got up easily. He didn’t have to put so much strength to piggyback Haruka because she was so light.

“Baekhyun-ah, be careful.” Chanyeol warned before they went.

“Where do you live?” Baekhyun asked.

“Yongiham dormitory—”

Baekhyun chuckled as he sighed. “You have to tell me earlier.”

“Why should I?” Haruka asked.

“Well, I’ve just moved there. It’s the third day. Which floor?”

“Third floor, room 303.” She replied. Baekhyun chuckled again. He then responded enthusiastically, “So, you’re the one who moved to the room next to mine?”

“You live next to my room? Really?” Haruka asked, disbelieving his saying. “Why would I lie?” he rolled his eyes.

“Just—”

They ended their conversation just yet, walking while piggybacking Haruka all the way home in silence. He didn’t know what to say, neither did Haruka. So she just enjoyed the breeze dashing her face, swinging her hair. It was strange. They didn’t even know each other yet, but she felt tremendously comfortable with him. She knew his face not yet, but she felt like she wanted to trust him the way Chanyeol did. Wasn’t it strange?

“Put me down here. I can walk myself.” Haruka said. Baekhyun could do nothing but to put down Haruka right in front of her room. Just then, Haruka couldn’t figure out his face because it was totally blurred—dark. She squinted to make her sight clearer. She just wanted to know at least his face, so she could greet and thank him tomorrow, just in case they met tomorrow. Well, she still couldn’t see his face at all.

“Are you okay, Haruka?”

“Oh—yeah, fine. Thanks anyway. Sorry, if I trouble you so much. Let me know if you need my help in the future.”

“Don’t mention it. Well, then, I—good night,”

Haruka gave her very bright smile to him, as her gratitude, even bowing. As she heard Baekhyun’s footsteps getting farther, she then entered her room with a light heart. Tomorrow, she promised, she would thank him in person.

***