Our drive back from the hotel was very quiet. I was beaming and so was Siwon. I could not believe my own self that im now the fiancé of Siwon! Like I’m future Mrs. Siwon Choi. I’m smiling! I’m smiling like crazy! When we reach home, Siwon changes form his tuxs and I go into the closet after him. I hug him from behind.

“ I love you.” I say.

“ I love you too.”

“ I cant believe you just did that.”

“ Well, someone rejected me the first time I proposed, which was way more personal. So I thought, I’ll go all out this time.”

I giggled. The first tie he proposed, it was in Boracay and both of us were !

He pulled me to the front and caressed my cheek. “Do you like your ring?, future Mrs. Siwon Choi”

I look at the beaming new jewelry and then look at Siown’s beaming eyes, “ I love it. its just beautiful…like you.” I say and hug him.

I know my life is just beautiful for me, because right now, I have a lovely daughter, who is a god given gift and a man who loves me to bits. Who loves me for my flaws and my perfection.

We go to bed and drift off to sleep, holding each other. Just holding, because that’s what we are. No rough , no making love, no f***ing, but just feeling the heartbeats of ours.

Next Day: Choi Residence

“ What date are you thinking about for  the wedding?” my mother asks me

“ As soon as possible.” Dara and me scream making the entire breakfast table go silent. This includes Nancy, Ethan, Mark, my parents and Sasi.

“ Wow, lets get these two married as fast as we can. We don’t want them to elope.” My dad teases.

“ Dara, im designing you wedding gown. So better listen to all my directions.”

“ Mark as far as you don’t design me some Disney princess gown, I’m ok.”

“ Oh! Oh! And I’m gonna land a few camels for your wedding mad may be gift all the guests some gold?”

“ Nancy! That’s outrageous!” Dara scolds.

“ Fine! Some chocolates then.”

“ Much better” she teases.

“So how about December 11^th? Which is about one month form now?” if asked I would say tomorrow is fine with me and Dara, but I have to giver her the wedding she always dreamt off. The whole wedding gown thing. So thus the one month time. A day more, we’re eloping!

A couple of days later Dara’s parents flew. Dara did not come to the airport too I was very upset about her behaving in such a way. I told her to be nice, but she was stubborn in her decision. I do understand her point of view too. Her mother cried till she boarded the flight, which made my heart squeeze. Hopefully, Dara one day will understand them.

Nancy and Ethan left too. For her departure, Dara was there with Nancy the whole time. The girls put up a full on emotional drama. The airport scene was like an extraction from some Korean drama. Nancy has promised to be back in another couple of weeks to help with the wedding.

Three Weeks Later:

Siwon’s mum is in full swing, preparing for the wedding. She has taken over the entire cake, church, flowers, reception, food and everything else. Me- I’m just working and loving every minute of being pampered by this wonderful lady and regularly having mind-blowing s.

This whole preparing for the wedding has got me so excited that I cant seem to stop smiling. When I’m a board meeting-I’m smiling, when I’m cooking- I’m smiling, when I’m shopping- I’m smiling, when we are making love- I’m smiling, oh hell, even when I’m peeing- I’m smiling!

And every time I look at the beautiful ring, I grin! Life cant be any perfect.

Dara’s Cabin: Choi Industries. 10.30 am.

“ Yes, the meeting today with Sylicon industries will just be an initial one. They want to show off what they’ve got and subliminally blow us their trumpets.” Siwon says, as we finally wrap out our day’s work.

“ Sir, we’re ready.” Roy pops his head in.

“ Yes, Roy, I’ll be there in a jiffy.” He says and gets up on his feet. Immediately as a reflex he button his suit outlining his strong body, which makes me flush with lust. I stare at him.

“ I know that stare, but baby, you have a long day and so do i. lets keep ourselves in….” I keep my stare adding a wicked grin.

“ Oh hell!” he stomps round my table, gets down on his knee and kisses me, making me instantly damp.

“ I’ll never get enough of this.” I confess.

“ And so will i. god you’re hot! My future wife!”

“ And so are you, my future husband.” I declare.

“ Go on now. Lets not keep the good people of Sylicon Industries waiting.”

“ And you want to keep the making out waiting?” he says as he gets on his feet.

“ hmm… I guess that will just increase the….. intensity.” I tease with a bite of my lip.

“ God, I love you.” he says and walks to the door. I giggle. I’m just crazy in love.

“ Hey by the way.” he stops at the door and turns.

“ I’ve asked the IT guys to check on those weird message you have been receiving. So they are tracking your phone and social media. Just a heads up.” he informs me. Yes those weird messages I have been getting. That are the congratulatory message, but some cyber creep took things a new level and has been sending me well wishes almost every hour.

“ Right thanks. Also let me know hoe the meeting went. Yeah?”

“ Sure baby. See you then.” He says with a wink, for which I of course melt. I watch him disappear round the curb.

I get busy with the works of the day and about 30 minutes later, I receive a ‘im so bored’ message from Siown.

I reply, ‘ concentrate’ to him.

He replies, ‘ yes boss lady.’

And I reply, ‘ yes, listen to me, im the boss lady.’

And his final reply is, ‘ oh you can boss me any day lady!.’ To which I giggle.

Right then, Kate pops her head into my office. I invite her in.

“ Dara, there is a visitor for you.”

“ Visitor? I don’t think I have any appoints now do i?” I shuffle my calendar on y ipad to check.

“ No, not exactly but he is adamant to meet you.” Kate replies.

Adamant? Hmmm…” who is it?”

“ He said his name is Yan Suk….Kim Yan Suk.” WHAT? on hearing the name, my insides freeze, my world took spinning to a new level and a sudden flash of the night of my accident comes into my clear vision.

The blood from my face drained out.

“ Wha…what does he want?” I manage

“ Well, he is insisting on meeting you. He says if I said his name, you would definitely see him. Should I let him in?” ‘Should I let him in? Should I let him in? In where? Into my perfect life? Into my future? Why? When everything so perfect and beautiful, why is the nightmare coming back to life!

But first things first, should I call up Siown and tell him? Should I? Think Dara! Think! No wait! Sylicon Ind. Is way more important. Their collaborations will bring us profits which will put Choi industries in the leading. Besides, if I told Siwon about YanSuk’s visit, he will rush here. That is not profession.

God what should I do?

Call the IT guys? No..no!

Call the security? That would probably be the best thing.

“ Right Kate, listen to me carefully, I want you to call a couple of our securities to our floor. Ask them to bring their ipad and connect it to the CCTV in my cabin. Ask them to monitor my cabin when I meet with this guy. Also tell the security office to monitor the lobby and every other part of the building for anyone suspicious.”

“ Sure..sure..i will do that. Is there something wrong Dara?”

“ I’ll explain later Kate, just do this. And make sure this whole security calling business is not known to Ya….yan Suk.” Jesus, I can’t even say his name.

“ Kate you be careful and once when the security in on the floor, let me know and then you let him in.”

“ Got it. Should I call Siwon?”

“ No, please don’t do that, lets try to handle this by ourselves. Just make sure the security knows this is serious and this person who is outside my door is someone to keep a watch on.”

“ ok…” she says and when she is almost out the door. I call her, “ also Kate, let the head of security pull up the information on this guy. Ask him to get me all the information on him.” Kate nods and leaves. Gosh, my hands are cold and cant feel my legs. There is a shiver in my spine and its not a good kind of shiver.

Just then I want Siwon by my side.

Kate gives me a call and informs me that the security is on the floor watching my cabin- armed. The security office is watching the building for anyone else. I ask her to let him in. let him only into my office.

I can’t just sit on my lather chair. It feels too prickly. I go around my table and stand watching the cabin door to open and a couple of horrible minutes later, it opens and Yan Suk walks in.

“ Hello Dara , looks like you received all my messages.” he says in a rugged, cold whisper. He is in a black tee shirt with a black leather jacket. His acid wash jean is tucked into his black biker boots. His hair is shaved and he has a nose ring. This is completely not the Yan Suk I worked with. This is some dangerous looking person I don’t know. But I guess this is the real him.

“ Yan Suk.” I whisper back.

‘ Your fiancé is meeting with an old friend.’

This is a message I receive which makes me frown. If Dara is in a meeting with a friend why would I receive such a message? I check the number and it says ‘un known’. This makes me suspicious. What is happening? Im in the middle of the meeting and I am not able to concentrate any more. I want to get to Dara and know if everything is ok.

“Alright gentlemen, lets break for some tea and coffee.’ One of the employees say and I thanks the lords.

I run to a glassed corner and give Dara’s cell a call. She does not pick up and it goes to voice message. I try again and again and the sixth time I try and it goes to voice message, I decide there is something wrong and Dara is in some sort of trouble.  I’m frustrated and worried. Not a very good state of me. I call up Kate, hoping that she would pick, up but she does not.  I try again and Kate finally picks up.

“ Why the hell is Dara not picking up her phone?” I yell at Kate, because now, I don’t really bother.

“ Sir, she is in a meeting with a visitor.”

“ Who is it?” Kate hesitates to answer my question.

“ Sir I have been told not to answer that question by Miss Day.”

“ Hell with Dara, tell me who she is meeting.”  I yell with anger like a dog.

“ Kim Yan Suk…he came to mee…” I cut the call and rush out the door of Sylicon Ind. suddenly the monstrous years of mine with Ga In comes into vision for me. I hate it and I don’t feel good. Now, all I want is to get to Dara because she is facing the hyena and I’m not there.

Within 7 minutes of rushing through Seoul traffic I reach the office. I dash through the marble lobby screaming for the security to get to my office floor. The few seconds on the elevator was like hell to me. What are they talking? What the hell is he here? and most of all, why did Dara not call me the minute she knew this guy is out her door?

When I exit, I see the security in the floor watching Dara’s cabin on their ipad. This must be her doing. If she had the thought about calling security, why the f*** did she not call me? They give me a nod, which I don’t acknowledge, because all im worried about is Dara.

I rush to her cabin and I hear Kate calling for me from behind.

I open the door and I see Dara standing by her table and Yan Suk, who looks like a complete moron, sitting with his right leg over his left, sipping on some drink. Did she just serve him some beverage? My anger spikes.

I look at Dara, she looks like she is stoned. Her face is pale and I don’t like that.

I turn to Yan Suk, who has brutal arrogance all over his face, “ what the hell are you doing here?” I ask through my clenched teeth.

“ Calm down Siwon, I just came here to meet my old boss and congratulate her.”

“ Congratulate her?”

“ Yes man..so chill..” he gets up on his feet.

“ Get out Yan Suk, before things get violent.” I hiss.

“ Come on Siwon, im being civilized here and you…don’t behave like a caveman.” He says with sarcasm. He is just blowing my heat up.

“ Siwon please…” Dara whispers. I give her a stinging look. She backs off.

“ Listen here , I don’t care why you are here, but I want you to stay away from her and my family and I better not see you again.” I get close to him. he smells of weed.

“ Oh boy! Im scared. So I was just wondering Siwon, after all these years, you still want Dara huh? She must be some really good lay then. Or perhaps, you want something ordinary than something exotic like Ga In.” he says. Oh! Oh! He stepped on the wrong stone. Dara lets out a whimper on the sick words of his.

Not able to control myself, I punch him right it he face and he fall crashing against the sofa he was sitting on and rolls down to he floor.

“ She was brainless Siwon, I had to tell her to sleep with you. I had to tell her that you wanted to f*** her. She was that stupid. Now you still want that stupid girl rather than the beauty Ga In.” I could not take it anymore. How dare he talks about Dara that way in bloody front of me. I scream and pouch his guts out.

“ Siwon Stop!!” Dara screams behind me and tries to hold me back, but no! This f***er needs to be punched till death. I see blood coming out his nose and mouth making me want to punch right in his gut.

“ Call security Kate!” Dara calls as I keep punching and kicking Yan Suk for his sick words.

“ Sir, Sir, please calm down, we’ve got this.” I hear multiple vices and sting hands pulling me back. But I cant stop. I want to punch the living soul out of him. I see he is not moving. Have I killed him? Oh hell I hope!

“ Siwon, stop! Look at me! look at me!” my eyes focus on the lost eyes of Dara. I calm down. I touch her. I cup her face. “ You ok?” I ask her in-between heavy breaths.

“ Yes baby, im fine.” she says and takes my hands I hers. “ Gosh you are bleeding so much.” She says.

“ I need medical assistance here. Call the nurse Kate.” She yells.

“ I’ve already called up Dara.” She shouts back.

Dara looks at me with her deep eye. Her eyes always tell me the truth and right now, they tell me that she is thankful for me being here. In that case she should have called me in the f***ing first palce!

“ We have a lot to talk Dara.” I hiss back with anger.

“ I know darling….i know.” She says in an apologetic way.

The securities take the body of Yan Suk away. The in office medical staff have given him first aid and tell us that he still lives. “ F***, I should have killed him” Siwon curses. I try to calm him down, but the anger in his voice and face, im going to face a storm.

The medical team treats him and advice both of us to go home.

We did not utter a single word during our drive, yet the car screamed with anger, frustration, care and more anger.

As I parked the car, Siwon did not wait for me to get out. He rushed off immediately into the building and into the elevator. I followed him as fast as I can. He never even looked at me once; eye-to-eye or even through the reflection. It killed me. I want him. I want him to look at me. I would go on my knees for him and beg him to just look at me.

As the elevator arrived on the floor of our pent, he rushed off into our home and I walked behind him. Once I closed the door and noticed his jacket thrown on the floor. I picket it up and placed it on the couch. I started, “ Siwon, baby please don’t be like this.”

“ Why the f*** did you not call me?” he growled his question trying his level best to press down his anger. But his rolled up fist and tone of his voice was furious.

I completely realized that this is not one of our arguments where we would finally end up in the bedroom, but this is going to be our real argument and Siown is down right angry.

“ i….i.. Siwon…i….”

“ Spit it our Dara! Just why the hell did you not call me?” he shouted! Siwon shouted at me. His tone, his voice, his body language shook me. Tears started forming in my eye. I guess at such moments the real female in me comes out.

“ Siwon, please don’t talk to me like that.” I whimpered.

“ Then tell me why you did not call me the minute you knew that was waiting just out your door.”

“ Because, the meeting you were in was important. The collaboration would bring in profits and put Choi Industries in the leading. It was important and if I had told you, I know you would just rush out. It is not correct nor professional.”

“ HELL WITH YOUR PROFESSIONAL! “ he screamed throwing his hands up in the air. He came closer which made me flinch a little. He lifted my face in a harsh way, “Do you have the slightest idea that you have put your life I danger? I bloody well don’t care about the money or the company. I car about you and only you!!! I don’t know how my time I have to make you understand this. The last time something like this happened, you were almost .” The vision of those times comes into view for me, which makes me shiver. “I threw away all this and came only for you to Dubai. If I was worried about profits and shares I would not have come. Im doing all this just for you, and here you are telling me profits are more important.”

“ I know Siwon… but…”

“ But what Dara? What? What would you have done, if you knew Ga In had come to meet me when you were not here?” his question hit me hard. I gave him the honest question.

“ I would have ran like a mad woman to reach to you.”

“ And that’s exactly what I did.” he calmed down or to me he looked like he was.

“ Do you know how I felt when I got to know that both of you were in the same room when I am not there?”

“ How did you know I’m meeting him?”  I manage.

“ I got a message from an unknown number. I did not want to believe some anonymous message, but you just made me believe that message that came from a faceless person than you, who I love and swore to take you as my partner for life.”

“ I….im… sorry…. Please believe me….i..did it for your own good. i….thought i could handle it by myself. This whole thing…I ….”

“ I know you can handle everything by yourself Dara. I do know. But not on this issue. You know how those people hurt you! Hurt us! And yet you think you want to do this all on your own! I can’t even imagine what would have happened if I had not come there. Jesus!” my tears start to flow.

“ Did he send those messages?”

“ Yes…” I whispered.

“ Then he must have sent it to me. He wanted me to see you standing there pale and scared. He wanted to hurt me! And well he was successful. Did you even think about Sasi when you did all this?” I pulled myself up.

“ Listen Siwon, yes, I agree I was scared and I desperately wanted you there. But I knew I can do this. If he had laid a hand on me the security would have got to him, and I was prepared too. I will not back down. Also I know how he hurt me. But I wanted to hear what he wants to say. After all these years, I am much stronger than I was before. But what I did was stupid. I’m sorry. And yes, I did think a lot abut Sasi. You two are the only two people for me. ” I say with genuine.

“ If you had thought about me and Sasi, you would have called.” He says and walks to the door. I understand he is leaving. No! no! no! this cant happen. I have to stop him! no baby please.

“ Siwon, no please stop. I love you and im really sorry I did not call you. Please don’t leave.” I cry, my tears flow.

“ I cant do this Dara. I care about you, but you don’t seem to be taking that seriously.” He says in a stern voice and shut the door. I watch him walk away frozen to my feet.

11.30 pm: Siwon & Dara Residence

“ Has he called you mama? Or do you have any idea where he is?” I ask over the telephone with tears running down my face to my future mother in law. Siwon has not retuned home after he walked out, which was almost mid morning. Now it’s 11.30om and he is not home and I cant reach him via phone. I have no clue where he is and its just killing me. Its like hell for me. Fine, lesson learnt.  I just want him to come back.

“ Oh sweety, he did not call us. But we are trying to reach him in every possible way.” she tries to sound encouraging. But I don’t feel any bit encouraged.

“ Keep calling his phone or something Dara.” She says.

“ Yes mama.” I whisper.

“ Have you eaten darling?”

“ Yes…” I lie.

“ Don’t lie. Go eat something. just by you starving, Siown will not come back. He will come Dara. Go eat something. Don’t punish yourself.” Yes, I am punishing myself! For the stupidity of me!

“ Ok mama.”

“ Don’t worry, girl. He will come back. He is just acting stupid.” she says and cuts the call.

Time passes and I wait for that door to open; for Siwon to walk in. but no. our home is so quiet and cold. I don’t like it. I check on Sasi who is sleeping peacefully. I hope she does not know this problem. She should be happy.

The coldness is increasing in me and all I really want is Siwon. There is no warmth. i can feel the shiver. I go to bed and wrap myself in the quilt, but that’s not helping in any manner. I curve myself into a ball and try to sleep, but all that comes are just tears. After years, I am crying into my pillow.

I am jolted awaken by the sudden movement in the bed. The bed dips. When I turn around and see, its Siwon in his tracks and he reeks of alcohol. God I made my man drink! He went out and drank till he is full. He lays down with his back towards me. His action makes me sob again into my already wet pillow.

Again, I’m jolted awaken. My body is not the same without Siown’s touch. My mind is not the same without knowing we are ok. My soul is not the same with knowing Siwon is not happy. My body shivers and jolts again.

“ Hi baby.” I hear Siwon coo. I turn to see him on his elbow looking at me. Those eyes, those love filled eyes. Has he forgiven me?

“ Hi…” I say and turn facing him.

“ What time is it?” I ask.

“ Its 4.30 am.”

I just look at him and so does he. We don’t say anything but just look at each other saying things more than words can explain.

“ I’m sorry.” I whisper. He pulls me onto his chest and I wrap myself around him. This is home. This is my home.

“ Its okay.” He says as he caresses my hair.

“ I will not do this again. I do care about you and I love you.” I say.

“ I know baby. I know…its.. just…when things like this happen, it hurts me. I was so worried to have left you like that alone with him. And those words he said abut you is exactly why I did not want you to be near him. This is all so sudden.”

“ I know and I’m really very sorry.” I apologize.

“ And im sorry too. I should have come home early.” I don’t say anything. After a few minutes, I ask, “ I missed you. Where did you go?”

“ I don’t know…I just drove off. I was so angry with the whole thing, I did not know where I was going and suddenly I found myself outside a bar. I went in and got myself drunk. It was the stupidest thing, because the whole time, I was thinking about you and how worried you would be. I thought my anger would take over and give me an escape, but it did not. That how much I love you.” I lifted my head from his chest and he kissed my nose.

“ I swear I will not do something like this again.” I say thanking god for giving me such a loving man who forgives me and loves me more every time I make a mistake.

“ Its fine baby. As far as you understand to tell me when you even have the slightest idea that you are in trouble. Just tell me. Talk to me. Lets get over whatever it may be together. Okay?”

“ Yes…” I nod.

He wraps his hand around me making me more comfortable on him.

After a couple of minutes, he whispers, “ I missed you..i missed you a lot.”

“ Me too.”

“ Let me make it up to you.” he says. I look up at him and his eyes are hooded with lovable desire.

“ How” I ask kissing his lips.

He flips me on my back making me giggle. “I don’t want you to sob anymore Dara, I want you to just moan in pleasure… pleasure only I can give you.” he says as he tugs my night knickers off and parting my legs. When his lips touch my calves, my hold tightens on the bed sheet. He slowly moves up, placing butterfly kisses over my thighs. He slowly dips down and my sensitive folds making me arch my back.

He sends me into an over drive when his mouth finally closes on my and I happily moan, “ Siwonah!”

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Im Sorry...i will not do this again." - Dara.

_________________________________________________

Hi Everyone. sorry for the late update.

The USB in which i had all my documents got completly wiped out.

I lost pretty much everything and i have no back up.

So the book im mailing you guys is lost too.

so I'll have to start fresh.

I know! i was silly not have a back up. lesson learnt!

Anyways, enjoy the update.

_____________________________________________________

To Be

__________________________________

Continued