Letting You Go

Just Not You

 

Ah! I came around him in the most grueling, mind blowing . It is only and only Siwon who could do this to me. The other fellows…how many were there, 4? 5? They did not even match Siwon’s strength even a little. He just f***es perfectly. Bloody Dara. I look down at Siwon. he is panting and has his cold eyes on me.

*Thud Thud Thud, we both heard loud banging of the palm on the glass door of Siwon’s office. We fling our heads to the sound and there she stands- that Sandara. She is perfectly on time. The woman who took my Siwon. She has her eyes fixed on Siwon and I have mine on her. what does she want? I get off Siwon and he winces under me. Her eyes are on him…..watching his every hair on his body move. I stand up and fix my dress and Siwon fixes himself. As he does his zipper I smile at his friend who made me come like never before. Ah, how I missed his friend. Dara just watches Siwon.

We stand watching Dara who seems to be acting very dramatically silent, frozen to the ground. After a beat, Siwon looks at me. I nod. He knows what to do. He walks towards the glass door and opens the door.

“ What are you doing here?” he asks Dara who is just acting stupid and frozen. Oh! her act wont sell here.

After what I feel like eternity, she speaks, “ what are you doing Siwon?” she says It so quietly that I cant really hear what she is saying.

“I’m here with Ga In.” oh yeah…take that . Siwon is with me.

“ Siwon……” she whispers

“ Dara…….i………go……” Siwon is stammering. That stupid, stupid boy, who still believes in love and emotions. But first I need to remove this whale of a person standing here in her red dress.

“ Dara…..Dara….Dara…..” I stepped forward. Siwon does not say anything, but steps back. He knows well.

“ Well, aren’t you the perfect time spoiler? We were busy Dara and you have very indecently disturbed us.” I tell her.

She glares at me. How dare she?!

“ Siwon tell me this is not true….tell me I’m just dreaming.” She whispers again with her gaze fixed on Siwon’s eyes, which are bowed down.

“ Siwon please.” I hear a choke in her voice.

I turn my head to see what Siwon is contemplating. After a beat, he looks up, in hails air and walks towards Dara.

“ Get out.” He says.

“ From where?” she asks. She is bright, asking the correct question. From my life , from Siwon’s life, if possible, from the face of the earth. Well, I can actually make that happen.

“ From my life. Just get out. I don’t want to see you any more. You have no use for me.” Siwon whispers.

“ Use?”

“ Yes. You were just a toy for me- nothing more. Now I have Ga In, the love of my life. You are nothing to me. So go now.”

“ A toy?”

“ Yes…..stop asking questions and just go. You are irritating me standing here. I have to tend to my lady here.” Siwon says looking at me. I grin at Dara. Die die.

She still is frozen to the ground. Not making a single move. Her eyes are so dry. Why is she not crying I want to see her cry! I want to see her fall on the floor and cry. That’s what she gets for taking my Siwon away. But she is just not crying. Her eyes are wide and dry.

“ You never loved me?”

“ Love you?” Siwon snickers;  “Hell no! I never loved you. You were just so difficult to get. I found that the word ‘Love’ made you fall into my bed, I said it and you fell right into it. I have to say you were one stubborn . You were not impressed with my beauty. I don’t know who can be that blind. I got every girl into my bed with just my smile. It was irritating that you would not fall for me.  But you were so stupid that you believed in things like love, compassion, emotions, friendship and all that crazy silly stuff. So I just said that one single word and voila, you were at my door step in seconds and what more, you were so fresh…just the I wanted.”

Ah, Siwon sure does know how to talk to her. She deserves it. Why is she still not crying. I want her to cry. I want her die.

“ You used me just for ?”

“ Bright aren’t you? Actually no. If you had been bright and smart, you would have realized it. But, you were so wrapped around me. But one thing, I have tell you, you are soo good in bed. You really made an effort to please me.”

“I missed Ga In very much and I just need just an alternative, a rebound, just a toy, just a time pass and you were there with your hips, s and that f***able a. Even if for one moment you thought I made love to you, you are highly mistaken. I always f***ed you and nothing more. I will only make love to Ga In. she is the only person who deserves my love and not……never you. you were just a on legs for me. That’s it Dara. Now get out and get lost!” Siwon finished and folded his hands across his chest.

Dara just stood there. Stood there like her world is crumbling. Yes that’s what I want. I want her world to crumble. Finally she moved and came towards Siwon. Her eyes still dry and fixed on him. He dint even bother to look at her. She removed something from her hands?....oh her fingers and placed in on the table beside her and Siwon.

It looks like some ring…..some fancy ring. May be Siwon had given it to her? he looks up at her and I see something in his eyes. What is it?? that stupid boy and his love for her. when will he realize he is mine? I think I will need to punish him more to drill that he is mine into his head!  And she is still not crying.

She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “ Happy Birthday.” She said. How dare she. Will she not learn?

Siwon looked into her wide eyes and then into his watch. He snickered, “ its not my birthday anymore! Get out now.”

 

 

 

I watched my Dara…..my baby, my life, my soul, my center of my universe, my strength, my hope, my love walk out the office with that dreadful look. That pale face, that ghostly look and most of all, they betrayed, killing- painful look. I remember what her mother said, I have seen her cry in silence. When she is truly depressed, she never cries. There will never be tears in her eyes. Her eyes will be dry but her heart will be shattered. She is dying……..No, she is dead inside. I killed her- with my words. Not even the devil will forgive me. I was harsher than the devil to her. I pierced that dagger right into her heart, screwed it and pulled it out of her.

Most of all, she had my answer. Oh God! She agreed to be my beloved wife. She- my Dara, my everything Dara, agreed to be my wife; agreed to trust me and spend the rest of her life with me and here I am f*****g the and saying words that I regret and will regret till my body decomposes in the mud. She walked out with those dry eyes, I will never forget.

I shattered her. I tortured her. I killed her.

But will she know I died with her?

 

 

I walked out of Choi International office doors- for the very last time. I don’t know how I’m feeling. My heart……what? My heart? Where is it? its in a million pieces. My mind is blank. Its very dark and I cant feel the rain that’s pouring and making me wet. My legs are taking me somewhere…I don’t know where. Its dark and im scared- im very scared.

I feel blank. ‘ You are just a toy.’

‘ I never loved you’

‘ I never made love to you’

‘ I always loved Ga In’

‘ You are just a on legs’

‘ Get out’

These were the only things I was hearing again and again and again. My mind is dead, my heart is dead, my soul has evaporated out of me.  I’m just a piece of flesh walking on the road. I don’t know what to make of this. Im……..im……my love….Siwon never loved me? Siwon always loved Ga In? my heart, my mind everything is dead. Siwon betrayed me. I trusted him so much. Why?

I don’t want to live. I’ve lost Siwon.

Suddenly I feel a bight light on my face, very bright light that it’s blinding me. I look up covering my eyes partially and I see some SUV coming right at me in high speed. God what do I do. My legs are not moving. The light gets brighter and the car roar is getting louder. I want to move. I want to run. I want to escape into Siwon’s loveable arms. No, but he is not mine anymore. He does not love me; never loved me. He said it himself. The SUV headlight comes closer and closer. The roar is very loud, its dark and raining. I’m scared.

“ DARA!”  I hear from somewhere. Through the rain and through the blinding lights, I see into the car. Who is it in the driving seat? Yan Suk? Yes…its Yan Suk? Stop the car Yan Suk! Its me Dara! I scream in my mind. My body is not responding. The car races forward. The lights blind me completely. YAN SUK STOP!!

“ I love you Siwon.” I whisper and white light blinds me completely. My head feels heavy as it hits something really hard. Its soo foggy and I feel dizzy. I see someone running towards me. “ DARA!! DARA!!” who is it? I don’t know……I lost my love…..i lost my life…..i lost my Siwon. it becomes dark…….very dark………let me just die.

 

 

 

 

“ You got what you want. Now get out!” I screamed at Ga In as I watched Dara walk out.

“ Excuse me?” she snarled at me.

“ Just because you spoke a few words to her, I would let her and you go? You think so little of my Siwon-ah! I have so many plans for us.

“ Don’t you dare call me that way.” I hissed at her. How dare she calls me that why. It s only Dara, MY Dara who can call me like that.

“ Why? Oh yes, Isn’t that what that woman you so ‘love’ called you when you made passionate love to her?”

“ Stop it Ga In. she is not ‘that woman’ she is THE woman I love and now lost.  You asked me to get her out, I got her out. Now you better get out.”

“ Oh Siwon, Siwon, Siwon! Do you think she would be alive all this while, if it was not for my ‘consideration’? I am keeping her alive. As long as you obey me, your Dara will be alive. One misbehavior and she is dead! You get it? She is dead! Do you want that Siwon? Do you want to see your precious girlfriend dead?” NO!! my heart came to my mouth hearing the words of Dara being dead.  I can’t let Ga In kill her. I killed her emotionally and to physically hurt her, it cant be. Dara, I love you. I can’t let anything or anyone hurt you. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m doing this for you. Baby, im so sorry.

I nod accepting my fate…to obey the vicious Ga In. for my Dara….for my Dara’s life. I just want her to be safe and alive. For that I have to sacrifice and I will. For my Dara.

“ Good. now drop your pants and sit. I need round two to celebrate the defeat of Sandara Evelyn Day!” she said in the most vicious way. God, just keep my Dara safe.

“ Dara, I love you.” I whispered as this devil acclaimed me- again.

 

 

 

“ Dara!! Wake up please!! Wake up!!” I hear a voice from somewhere distant. Who is it? I try my best to open my eyes…I cant. I feel pain…searing pain. My head is about to explode. My heart has already exploded. I can’t turn. I can’t move. I feel like my body is being pricked by needles. It becomes dark again. Pain takes over.

 

 

“ Doctor, what are the procedures? Just do what you have to. I want Dara alive!” who is this? Siwon? no…..i’ve lost him………..i hate him. it dark again and I don’t feel the pain.

 

I see Siwon’s eyes…his mesmerizing eyes, his love filled eyes, his warm eyes. “ Siwon…” call out and put my hand forward, but he does not take it. Why is he not taking my hand? “Siwon” I call out again in desperation. From behind she walks…..I see Ga In’s eyes….her cold, cold eyes. They meet mine. They just want to kill me. im scared. “ Siwon…please….” I whisper. I look at Siwon who is smiling at her with the love he had for me. “ no…” I plead. He cups Ga In’s face and kisses her….kisses her deep. I fall from a cliff.

I wake up with a jolt.

“ Hey….hey….its alright…you’re safe.” I hear a familiar voice. The same voice I head when I was…..where was i? Where am I now? I look around. It’s dark with just a small light lamp glowing softly. It does not hurt my eyes. The walls are white with some medical posters on them. I gaze down. Im covered in a warm blanket and there are some tubes and wires extending out from me. What is this? I try to move my hand and there I have that searing pain. I flinch.

“ it’s alright….stay still, you are safe. Ill call the doctor.” I look up. Its Arata.

The same Arata who saved me from the accident in Japan, has saved me yet again. Is he my guardian angel? 

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"....." - Dara

" Im Sorry" - Siwon

_____________________________________________________

Hey hey everyone!!

First off, i wanted to say sorry for the delayed update. 

I got really busy with work.

Thank you all for the response you gave for Chapter 28. 

It was queit a twist.

I hope you will like this new update.

As usual, please do comment!!

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To Be

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Continued

 

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Comments

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Yoongi1230 #1
Chapter 54: Omg girl I seriously did not expect all that drama and craziness!!! But omg a bommmmmmb story!!!! Thank you!!!!!!!
atoeva #2
amaaaazing perfect wooow woooow woooooow...words can't describe your story...Just OMG really wooow
assuma #3
I can't really describe your story OMG !!! it's beyond words *_____* Thank you author nim thank youuu and please read my email that I've sent to you because I want the book so badly please . Keep Going , Fighting author nim :) :) :)
shahnazsheikh #4
Chapter 55: one of the best ones i have read so far...! Keep writing...! You have a flair for it!
shahnazsheikh #5
Chapter 33: i love the story! I want the book!
sedotan
#6
Chapter 55: Thankyou so much authour-nim :):):) I love your story, keep writing :):):) I waiting your next story
fastaday #7
I've never read a fanfic that can get me addicted to it and this is the first fic that drown me into it! Omg idk what to do anymore without anymore of this. But anyway, 6 stars for you and this fic! Hope to read more of your fics! ^_^
biancsnool #8
Chapter 55: This is the best story that i read so farrrrr.....I going to read this again. Two thumbs up for you unnie! And i'm going to miss chatting with you :(. And congrats! Annyeong unnie :) saranghaeee
mrvnrky #9
Chapter 55: Thank you for this great story I think I'm going to read it again (sleepless nights are waiting for me) :)