I am finally back with an update! Stupid author had a writer's block again... :( But here the update! I thought I promised to reveal the past in this chapter,
but really sorry, I have to delay it to another chapter, since even though this chapter is short, I really wanted to end like this, so I decided to not publish the past yet :) Sorry for keeping you all waiting for it, I know you would want to know it after so many chapters, but please... Soon :)
About the chapter, it focus mainly on Minhee, and I will not reveal anything more, so enjoy! :) I am not really satisfied with the beginning of the chapter, but I really love the end :) Sigh, it feels so strange... I have been writing this fanfic for such a long time already.. For those who want to know, I officially began writing this fanfic on June 1, 2011, and that feels so long ago...
Well, please enjoy! :)

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We broke up, just today. I did not even had the chance to accept it, and reality already haunted me to face it clearly. Sungyeol, if this is what you want, I am willing to accept it. However, please give me time, let my heart admit it, or else I will never be able to let you go. I did not know how I got the strength to run away, out of the mall, away from everyone. I vaguely remember Sungjong and Chanhee yelling my name, but I could not bear to stay there even a second longer anymore. I had to leave, I had to run away.




Minhee, I told you, you will never be able to get to Sungyeol’s heart.




How foolish, did you really think he would love you back?




Did you think you could compete, against Yoona?



















Against Sooyung?

I stopped running as this one thought crossed my mind. I did my best to stop my tears as I realized what I just thought. Shim Minhee… Will never win from Im Sooyung. No, not Im Sooyung, Choi Minhee will never be able to understand the things that happened to them in the past. Choi Minhee, will never be able to understand.I… Can never win from their past. How hard I work for it, how much I believe in it, I will never be able to. How foolish of me… To have never realized that I could never get to them, how hard I worked. I was so stupid… And I always believed I could.

Warm tears rolled down my cheeks, and everything was making me dizzy and hot.

I really believed I could reach Sungyeol.



















I really did.

-

“It is not possible to switch classes, not without a proper reason.”

I went all the way to the headmaster, just to ask for a way to switch classes. I went straight to her the moment I came to school, frightened to see Sungyeol or anyone else. I could not afford avoiding everyone, especially Sungyeol, all the time when we are in the same class. A stupid reason to switch classes for and I know for sure that all my classmates would gossip about it. However, I could not take it. Even when it seems such a childish request, I really needed it. There is no way I can face Sungyeol, Myungsoo, Sooyung and Amber right now. There really is not.

“I heard you did not come to school yesterday, why is that?”

“I-”

“Listen, Shim Minhee, this is your last year. I do not know what has gotten into you that you would even want to switch class. Are you getting bullied?”

I shook my head, biting my lips. What can I do? There was no way I could tell her the real reason. I took a moment to think about it, when I suddenly remembered who the other homeroom teacher was.

“I want Miss Ho as my homeroom teacher.”

An annoyed sigh left as she looked me stern into the eyes.

“Just go to your classroom, Shim Minhee.”

“N-no, you do not understand! I… I… Miss Ho knows that my home conditions are not good at the moment. I… I really need her.”

I could not believe I would ever use this to get myself in another class. I never thought I would go as far as this, just to stay away from Sungyeol. I used to love being around him, how did I end up being like this? How did we end up like this?

“What is wrong, then?”

“I-… Miss Ho knows, I do not like to talk about it.”

She gave me a skeptical look, before grabbing the phone next to her.

“Please tell Miss Ho to come to my office, immediately.”

She did not say anything more and hanged up immediately. Her cold eyes wandered around the room, waiting for Miss Ho to arrive. It was now or never. If I could not convince the headmaster… No… I do not have another choice. It was this… Or the end. There was a knock on the door, and the door opened slowly.

“Good morning, headmaster.”

“Come in, Miss Ho.”

I could see Miss Ho’s eyes flicker in surprise when she saw me, but it slowly turned into a warm smile. She took place beside me, and I could feel my hope rising.

“Shim Minhee says she wants to switch classes, because she wants to have you as her homeroom teacher.”

“Eh?”

Miss Ho was shocked when she heard it, I could see it clearly on her face. Of course, even when I thought about it, it sounded absurd.

“What is the reason, Minhee?”

She asked, but I could hear a tinge of concern, something I really appreciated at the moment.

“My… p-parents…”

Her face was suddenly glowing with understanding, and she turned her head to the headmaster.

“Then, is it alright for Minhee to come in my class? She has been having problems for a while now, and since she wants my help, I really want to help her.”

Suddenly a wave of guilt washed over me. I was selfish… I did not ask for her help… I asked for rescue…

“Well,” The headmaster said while eyeing me, “it is actually against the rule. But since Miss Ho knows about the home conditions and it is your last year, it may be appropriate to have you in Miss Ho’s homeroom class.”

A hopeful smile crept on my lips as I looked at the headmaster. Thank you, really, thank you. I glanced at Miss Ho, who smiled at me gently. I am sorry, Miss Ho, but I am really thankful for your support, really.

“Then you can switch classes starting today.”

-

“Before we continue with our class,” Miss Lee said after the break ended, “I would like to announce something.”

I did not really paid attention to her, since my mind would only wander to the person who was not here. Everything that filled my head was about Minhee. Her empty seat, unsettled me.

“Shim Minhee has switched classes for privacy reasons, so from now on she will be in Miss Ho’s homeroom class.”

My eyes widened as I heard her words. She went as far as… Switching classes. An ironic feeling filled me. Sungyeol, why are you surprised? You are the reason for it, after all. The reason Minhee cried, it was because of you. But still, I could not help but feel uncomfortable inside. Minhee… I really never meant to hurt you, I really did not. Please… Forgive me… Or rather, forgive me not.

-

It has been a week since I switched class, and I could feel the loneliness every day. I used to have Amber and my other friends around me. I used to have Sungyeol… It was not like this class was not nice, but it was hard for someone like me to fit in their class when they were already together for a long time. Luckily Sungjong and Chanhee are in the same class, or else I was sure the loneliness would kill me.

“Minhee.”

My whole body stiffened as I heard his voice, the voice I did not want to hear. I did not even dare to look up, scared to see his face. Go away, Sungyeol, leave me alone.

“Can we have a talk?”

He asked in a pleading manner, and I could feel my heart waver. However, I could not lose myself right now. I had to keep myself together, or else… Or else I would break.

“Leave me alone, Sungyeol.”

I said before walking away from him, but he grabbed my arm tight.

“No! Let’s have a talk!”

“Sungyeol-ah,” Tears were starting to fill my eyes, “please leave me alone. I beg you…”

When his hand did not loosened, I turned around, my tears already falling as I begged him to leave me alone.

“I beg you, Sungyeol, I beg you. It is not fun anymore. I do not want it anymore. I… It hurts too much. Breaking up, seeing you with Sooyung, it hurts too much. I beg you, please, leave me alone. Just… Just forget everything… Please, Sungyeol-ah, please… It hurts so much…”

His hurt expression did not make me happy. He should not feel hurt, not when he was the one who decided to break up with me. Not when he was the one who cruelly kissed another girl when he just broke up with his girlfriend. Not when he was the one who never opened up to his girlfriend.

“Minhee-ah, I am so sorry-”

“Sungyeol-ah, let’s us end everything we have right now. There is no need to hold onto something that will not be yours, right? You told me it yourself.”

“Sungyeol-ah, you should not treat her like that.”

I said as the girl who had just approached him left hurt. Sungyeol had have a few conversations with her in the past, and she just wanted to ask him if he wanted to go drink something, but Sungyeol declined her offer coldly.

“Sungyeol,” I gave him an unsatisfied expression, “why could you accept her offer? She just wanted to ask you to join them for a drink.”

“Someone who will not be yours, there is no need for them.”

How cruel Sungyeol could be, I only got to realize it now. How he could divide things he needed and things he did not so clearly, it was frightening. Sungyeol… That is not right. That should not be how you should live.

“Minhee, that is not-”

“You make me feel insecure, you make me feel scared, you give me pain, but most importantly,” I choked in my tears as I continued, “I cannot reach you.”