Heeeeeeeeeeeeello, I am back again!
Keke, I wonder if you have noticed it though xd
Well, I am finally back with another update!
I am slowly thinking about how to wrap this story up,
even though a lot of things still have to be explained.
It is that from the start, I already planned to split
this story in two, and I just do not know whether to
make this a long story or to make a sequel.
I will just see how things will go :) But do not worry,
this story still has a long way to go before it
reaches that point I choose to split it X)
About the story: Myungsoo-ah ... I love you so for
supporting Minhee :'(
Okay, let's go on with the story!
Tinywings

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I glanced over to Minhee and Myungsoo, and the sight unsettled me. I did my utmost best not to hurt her, but in the end, I still was the one who made her cry. I should not have the right to feel this, but seeing Myungsoo hugging her so tight, it angered me. But even when I was saying this, I could not do anything to comfort her right now. Every word I just said, it must have been painful to Minhee. I cannot let her know the truth, because she would not be able to accept it, that I know for sure.

“Sungyeol, that is quite some confession you made.”

Sooyung said with a satisfied smirk on his face, making me all the angrier. How much longer is she planning on torturing me? This was so futile already, but how is it that we cannot escape from it? How is it that something from the past was torturing us so much?

“Should I tell your girlfriend about what happened between us? How you took-”

“Do not say a thing!”

I screamed with widened eyes before grabbing her arm harshly, pulling her away from Minhee. I should not have walked away like this, pulling Sooyung with me, but I could not bring myself to do anything else. I was still not ready to face it, and running away from it was the only thing I can do. Even when it will hurt Minhee.

-

My eyes lifelessly followed Sungyeol as he took Sooyung away. I could not bring myself to do anything but to look at them, silently screaming for him to come back and explain everything to me. Never did I want to push Sungyeol to confess to me, but this time, I wanted to know so badly. I wanted to be able to understand what is happening, but everyone is keeping me out of it. Everyone is keeping it a secret from me, but at the same time, they are involving me in it.

“Myungsoo-ah,” A tear rolled down my cheeks as I spoke quietly, “could you- could you please tell me…”

Myungsoo, please do not keep it a secret from me anymore. Sungyeol does not want to say it, Amber does not want to talk to me about it, and if even you will not tell me, I am sure I will never know. Everyone is being so selfish, so absorbed in their own world, not even considering how I may be feeling right now. Just because I do not ask, does not mean I do not want to know. Just because I decided to remain silent, does not mean I am not feeling anything.

“Minhee, I cannot.”

His words reached me clear and harsh, and I could feel myself breaking apart slowly as reality hit me. Nobody was going to tell me. Even when I beg them, plead to them, they were not going to let me know.

“Why?”

I did not even try to hold back my tears anymore. It just did not seem needed anymore, and more importantly, I did not care anymore.

“I may not have the right to ask for anyone to tell me, but I cannot take it anymore… I-it is as if you are all talking in a language I cannot seem to understand, even when I try my utmost best to do so… You all tell me that I should not know, that I should not get involved in it, but do you not realize, that I already am involved in it? Do you-… Why does not anyone tell me?”

I had to mutter the question, since my lips trembled too much to continue to speak clearly.

“Minhee, you should not-”

“One day.”

His eyes flickered in surprise, not understanding what I was implying to.

“One day,” I tried to look at him through the blur my tears made, “was enough to make me so tired. One day, was enough to give me so much pain, that I begin to wonder if I am just dreaming. Just… Just this morning, we were still all smiling, but now… Look at us…”

I shook my head slightly before walking passed him. I wanted to be alone right now, I wanted to have the time to calm down. My heart was struck with pain as my words echoed in my head, remembering me of the carefree smiles we were wearing just this morning. I could hear Myungsoo scream my name, which made me run away. I cannot take it anymore. So many feelings are filling me, but they were all hurting me.

-

“Sungyeol.”

My eyes showed no surprise as I saw him sitting on the couch of my living room. I felt he would come; he was just too predictable.

“I really have to tell my sister not to let you in all the time, really…”

I jokingly said, but it seeing his straight face, I knew this was not the time and moment to make jokes. A sigh left my mouth as I took place beside him.

“Why did not you do anything?”

I said while looking straight in front of me. He knew what I was talking about, he must know. He should have been the one to hug Minhee at that crucial moment, but he did not. That fact alone, already made me feel disappointed in Sungyeol. But, I could not jump into conclusions without hearing his side first. I want to know his thoughts too.

“I… I just could not bring myself to.”

“Why? Why could not you, Sungyeol?”

I turned my head to the side, giving him a puzzled expression. He did not dare to look at up, but I could see he was having a hard time dealing with everything. However, for me it still was not an excuse to not respond at all.

“Because… Sooyung was there.”

My eyes closed as I took a deep breath, trying to take in what he just said. I knew it. He was wavering again. He was beginning to feel like he did wrong, and he was beginning to give in again.

“Lee Sungyeol, you do know that you are just running away from it, right? Sooyung is just taking advantage of you, because-”

“It is not that, Myungsoo.” He shook his head slightly. “It is not that I am scared of Sooyung. I… I just do not know how to cope with it. I did not… I did not had the courage to go to Minhee when she was standing there, looking at me with that look. Just like back then, she gave me that look of hers. Just like back then, when I wanted to run after Yoona.”

“’One day’.”

Sungyeol’s did not say anything, and stared at me with slight puzzlement.

“’ One day, was enough to give me so much pain, that I begin to wonder if I am just dreaming.’” I looked in his eyes. “Those were Minhee’s words.”

His face showed guilt as soon as he heard it, but I had to tell him. Minhee, it is not that I do not want to say it to you, but I simply cannot. If someone were to tell you, it should be Sungyeol, since he is… Your boyfriend. Not only that… He was also the one person who has the right to tell you about it.

“She… I cannot.”

“Why not?”

The amount of harshness in my own voice surprised me, since I should not be feeling like this. I have no reason to feel like this. Or maybe, I just want to believe that I do not want to feel like I am involved with it. Unconsciously, my mind went to when I hugged her tight, something I did not dare to give too much importance to.

“Myungsoo-ah… Please.”

“Sungyeol,” I gave him a serious expression as I talked, “if you do not want to talk to her about it, then please… Break up with her.”

“What?!” His eyes widened as he spoke. “NO!”

“She does not deserve so much pain, Sungyeol.”

“I-… No! Breaking up has nothing to do with this!”

Sungyeol was clearly angry by what I said, but I stayed calm. I was convinced that this was the only option, even though I did not want to say it. Sungyeol does not have the courage to talk to Minhee about it, but he is hurting her by involving her in it. The only option… Is to break up. On top of that… I know he still cannot get over Yoona… And he knows that very well too.

“Sungyeol, leave her,” My voice was filled with concern this time, “and come back for her when you have gotten over Yoona completely.”

 “Myungsoo-”

“You never wanted to truly replace Yoona with Minhee, Sungyeol. Yoona… Means too much to you to be replaced by anyone, you just did not want to realize it.”

-

Never did I stand up with so much reluctance. Never did I want the time to stop as much as now. Never… But it was also true that I never felt this useless. Not being able to support Sungyeol, but only standing aside. I may be hurting, but what hurts the most, is the face that I could not do anything. I could not do anything… To make him smile.

“Sungyeol-ah… Please let me support you…”

I muttered to myself as I looked at myself in the mirror. Today, I was going to confront Sungyeol. Yesterday night I spent hours thinking about it, and I decided to face him about it. I was sure we will come to a solution somehow. I had to believe that, or else, I doubt I would be able to cope with it. But even though I decided to confront him, I still was scared. Deep inside, I did not forget that he may not want me to face him like this. He may not want to tell me. But… I cannot do nothing anymore. I was about to walk to the bathroom, when my phone rang. I felt a tinge of reluctance to answer it, but when I saw it was Sungyeol, the feeling instantly left me. A smile crept on my lips as I answered it with a somewhat bright voice.

“Sungyeol-”

“I am sorry.”

His melancholic voice frightened me, and I could feel my heart beating faster.

“Sung-”

“Minhee… Let’s break up.”

I could feel tears escaping my eyes as I stood in my room, clutching onto the phone even though Sungyeol already hung up.

-

“Shim Minhee.”

The teacher looked around, but she was not present. A sigh escaped as she continued with the next name, but I could help but feel unsettled. I quickly turned to look at Sungyeol, who was wearing a blank expression since I saw him today.

“Sungyeol-ah, do you know where Minhee is?”

“N-no…”

I continued to look at him, since I knew he was lying. The way he avoided looking into my eyes, made me refuse to believe he did not know.

“Sungyeol, where is she?”

“I do not know, Myungsoo…”

He was beginning to get slightly irritated, but I was not planning on giving up. There was this urge inside of me that was pushing me to ask further. It was pushing me to get to know if Sungyeol did something to her, again. However, I could ask any further since the teacher started with her lesson. I almost decided to let it go, when I heard a vague knock on the door. I looked to the door, seeing it open slowly. My heart began to beat faster, thinking it would be Minhee, but it was not. Disappointment hit me as I saw it was another teacher, but then I realized something. Reality hit me that I was not myself right now. Minhee is Sungyeol’s girlfriend, not mine. I should not be so overly concerned, but why… Why can I not stop myself?

“Myungsoo-ah…”

Sungyeol’s whisper woke me up from my thoughts, and I quickly turned around to look at his distressed face. Something just did not felt right as I watched him, and his words only confirmed my feeling.

“I broke up with Minhee.”

The moment I heard it, my body could not move. It took me a whole few seconds before I turn away from him, taking in what he just confessed. Mixed feelings were filling me, and I had to bury my face in my hands to hide my crushed expression. I was the one who suggested it, thinking it would maybe wake him up from his foolish thoughts, but I only made it worse. Sungyeol, that fool… He was breaking up with Minhee just because he did not know what to do anymore. He gave up his present and future for the past, something he should have buried away long ago. Most importantly, this was the second time I ruined a relationship, his relationship.

“Why do you not break up with her then?”

Sungyeol’s eyes flickered in surprise, looking straight into my serious eyes. Sungyeol, you should trust Yoona more than you do know. Just because she was seen with Taecyeon, does not mean see betrayed you. If we were to talk about betrayal, we should begin with you.

“I will not-”

“Remember what you did that day, Lee Sungyeol. Even when it was only out of pity, you should not have done that.”

He quickly shook his head, not wanting to listen to me anymore.

“No! That- That was nothing!”

“You are so heartless for saying that, Lee Sungyeol. Yoona, does not deserve someone like you to be by her side.”

What I did not know, was that Yoona would die the other day. She died, in Ok Taecyeon’s car, and even though I never asked Sungyeol if he has called her, I felt guilt killing me the moment I heard it. Whatever reason for Yoona to be in his car, it did not matter. What did matter, was that Yoona is gone. If something were to happen to Minhee, I wonder if I will ever be able to forgive myself. If something were to happen to Minhee, I would hate myself for sure.

-

How many times did I call her? I already lost the count as I sighed frustrated. She did not come to school for the whole day… And I was the blame for it. I covered my head with my hands, contemplating whether I was regretting it or not. Regret… I think I was trying to deny that fact. I was trying my hardest to push myself away from everything that was making me so useless, since I could not do anything. Minhee… I am not capable yet of confessing to her, but I wished I could. I wish I could hug her tight as I told her the truth, and that she would not hate me for it. However, there was no way she would. I am not going to drag her with me into this, since she deserves better. Even when I live in the past, she still has to live in the present.

“Minhee-ah, I am so sorry…”

Tears were trying to fall, but I did not allow them to. I did not have the right to be crying, that I knew very well. It was my fault, and I could not blame anyone else but me.

“Look at your pathetic face, Lee Sungyeol.”

My whole body stiffened as I looked up, seeing the one person I did not want to see right now. Anger filled me instantly as I saw the victorious smirk on her lips. I could not take it anymore.

“Are you happy now, Im Sooyung?” I hissed with gritted teeth. “Me being like this, does it make you satisfied? Does it?!”

“Lee Sungyeol, you should not blame anyone but yourself.”

She was wearing that frightening expression again. She was not like this in the past, she was not. She used to be different. I used to be different. That was until we both made that sinful mistake, and we could not run away from it. The worst thing is, I never got to tell Yoona about it. I never got the chance to tell Yoona how much I… I shivered as I realized what I was thinking. I thought of something I never wanted to feel, something I never thought I felt. I thought… Of regret.

“Sooyung, what do you want from me? Tell me, what exactly do you want? Is it my life that you want? Is it?”

She grinned widely as she heard my defeat. This was probably the moment she had been waiting for all the time.

“I want you to stay by my side forever, so you will drown in your sins.”


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Sooyung-ah, please do not torture Sungyeol like that :'(
[Announcement] The 'past' will be revealed soon, since I have been dragging it for way too long already. Sorry! I will stop making you all curious soon!