Chapter Thirteen - With You 

 

 

A day off. 

 

 

Daebak.

 

 

I just didn't know what to do, or where to go. Oh, wait, that's not the worst part. The worst part was I didn't know with whom should I spent the day with. I had crossed Dongwoo, Ailee, Sora, Woohyun, Raina and Hoya from my list since they would be going for dates. Minjae told me she wanted a day for herself to find inspiration for this new work of art that she had just started. Sunggyu, decided to sleep in while Sungyeol said he wanted to go back to Loveland. So my only choice was Sungjong and Myungsoo. I, of course, was eager to go with Myungsoo rather than Sungjong, but obviously, that won't happen since he would be busy taking pictures here and there, and I guess, for him, a camera was already a good company. So, there I was, sitting down inside the room with Sunggyu dozing beside me. I took out my notebook although I didn't feel like writing. Sometimes I would poke Sunggyu with the tip of my pen and he would grunt. I pouted. Just what the hell was I supposed to do for the whole day alone?

 

Then, the answer came. The door opened and Myungsoo peeked in. I was a bit startled with the fact that he was there, in front of me, up to the point where I wasn't able to hide my notebook. 

 

 

"Nara," he called me, half whispering. 

 

 

"Hm?" I went up to him, holding my notebook tightly and secretly hoping that he wouldn't notice it.

 

 

"Do you want to come with me?" 

 

 

Whaaaatt?! Did Kim Myungsoo just asked me to go with him?

 

 

 

"Eh... Where?" 

 

 

"I probably want to go for the amusement park there, it's quite old and small but I'm pretty sure I can get great pictures there," He told me. 

 

 

I scratched my head, pretending to weigh his offer. 

 

 

"But I think I'll need to stay with Sunggyu-" 

 

 

"Yeah, she needs to stay with me," Sunggyu moaned behind. 

 

 

 

I smiled bitterly, to myself and Myungsoo. Did Sunggyu really need to block the way?! 

 

 

"Then, I'll talk to him," Myungsoo trudged in even though I had tried to stop him. 

 

 

But did it mean that Myungsoo was... "Fighting" for me?

 

 

 

"Gyu hyung can't I take her out?"

 

 

Sunggyu sat down. "Didn't I tell you she needs to stay with me?" Believe me, Sunggyu had a really scary glare on his face, but somehow it didn't really have an effect on me. 

 

"W-why? Aren't you sleeping?" Myungsoo frowned. 

 

Sunggyu opened his mouth, about to shout, I thought, and I immediately stopped him.

 

"Okay, okay. Let me solve this," I stepped in their heating conversation since I didn't want them to punch each other at the end. "Because both of you wants me, and I actually feel flattered," The both of them raised their eyebrows and I cleared my throat, "Okay. Anyway, let me make this fair. Can't I just go with Myungsoo, and come back here before dinner?" 

 

Sunggyu pouted, but didn't say anything. I bit my lips. I couldn't let him ruin my day by not allowing me going out with Myungsoo. I never really get the actual reason why the both of them were fighting. Like, weren't they like 5 year olds fighting for toys, but only in this case, I was the toy, and no, I didn't feel at all pleased with it.

 

"I'll allow you. But only if you say the magic word," 

 

"Please?"

 

Sunggyu shook his head. Ah! How could he even call that a magic word?!

 

I sighed. "Oppa," I feel like puking. I eyed to Myungsoo who was watching in amusement.

 

"Yes my dongsaeng?" Sunggyu answered with a made up sweet voice, and I could punch him at that time if it weren't for Myungsoo.

 

I let out a heavy exhale."I SAID THE MAGIC WORD!!" I exclaimed when I couldn't take it anymore.

 

"Fine, fine," Sunggyu looked annoyed, "Go. And you better take care of her Myungsoo-"

 

"Yah! I can take care of myself!!!" 

 

"Fine, go. I want to get back to my sleep!" 

 

I turned to Myungsoo and smiled sweetly,"Okay then problem solved, I'll come with you," 

 

 

"Araso." He chuckled, "And oh, you can bring your notebook too if you want," he smirked and pointed to the book I was tightly gripping.

 

 

I felt my face heat up. It seemed that he had known my notebook habit for

some time. 

 

 

 

"Oh okay..." I mumbled as I followed him walking out of the compound.

 

 

 

Like what he said, we went to an amusement park, a bit far from our stay actually, but it was fine. He took a few pictures on our way, some capturing my side profile. I told him not to fill his memory with my face but he said I was his model, and I couldn't help but let butterflies fly around my stomach.

 

 

"So tell me Nara," he started, "something about yourself," 

 

 

I looked at him. "About myself?" 

 

 

 

He nodded and went to the ticket counter. "I don't have anything to say about myself," I shrugged my shoulders and quickly fiddled my bag for my wallet. I pulled out some cash from it and immediately handed to the lady behind the counter before Myungsoo could push my hand away. 

 

 

 

"Ticket for two," I told her. 

 

 

She tore two tickets from the long line of tickets she had, and handed over to me with the change. I thanked her and we went in after having our ticket stamped. 

 

 

"I can pay for us," Myungsoo said, not sounding really happy. 

 

 

"I can pay for us too," I ignored him. 

 

 

He sighed and tapped my shoulder. "I'll have a revenge on this. Don't worry," he smiled sarcastically. 

 

 

"If your revenge is buying me another green-tea ice cream again I'm fine," 

 

 

"We'll see," he chuckled, "Come on, which ride do you want to try first," 

 

 

 

Okay. Let's make things clear. I wasn't someone who's really fond of going to amusement parks, unlike the rest of the world, excluding old grandparents that was. And the fact that I actually agreed to go to an amusement park with Myungsoo was actually something he should be really thanking me. I don't just say yes to anyone who takes me to places like this you know. No, it wasn't because I was scared of the rides. I could even say that I enjoy riding it, but if I was given a choice between going to a theme park or say, an old folk village, I would most likely choose the latter. 

 

 

 

"Roller coaster maybe?" I suggested, since it was the ride that I enjoyed the most. 

 

 

He nodded. "Let's start the day with it then," he said. 

 

 

 

We directed ourselves to the roller coaster. '8coaster' they called it, and I had no idea why. 

 

We lined up, and I could see some girls had their eyes flicker on Myungsoo and I was standing beside him, trying to plaster a poise gaze on my eyes, as if saying, "Yes, I'm with him. See, you don't need to be size zero to be with this handsome dude," But too bad I wasn't really with him in that way. 

 

 

Myungsoo was clicking his camera here and there, while I was just admiring his side profile beside him. "You haven't answered my question," he suddenly said as he put his camera down.

 

 

 

"Eh?"

 

 

"About you, tell me," 

 

 

"I told you there's nothing about me," I said, a bit avoiding this conversation.

 

 

"There's a lot about you," he looked at me. 

 

 

"Well, I guess, you'll find out about me in a while," I smiled. "But... what do you really see in me?" I bit my lips.

 

 

He shrugged his shoulders. "Do you want an honest answer?" 

 

 

"If I want an honest answer will it hurt?" 

 

 

"Depends," we moved forward.

 

 

Depends? Depends on what? 

 

 

"Then lie to me," 

 

 

"You're pretty much an ordinary girl on the outside and much less ordinary on the inside," he started and tilted his head, as if he was searching for the words. "You're lame, you don't reveal your 'true self' when you meet people for the first time," 

 

 

His words were cut when we needed to jump in the roller coaster. I kept thinking about it, trying to put it in the opposite way but it was hard since he had told me quite a few things which some I had even forgotten although I had made a mental note not to forget it. But of course, I'm Song Nara. 

 

 

He sat first on the coaster, and I followed him, but it was pretty difficult since there was a huge gap between the platform and the ride. Myungsoo chuckled and lent me his hand. "Come on," I took his hand gently, his warm fingers enveloping around my hand, and I stepped in, trying to be as oblivious as possible to my racing heart. 

 

 

"Are you scared?" He whispered once I sat in. 

 

 

I looked at him. "What? No!" 

 

 

He nodded and at that moment, he did seem a bit anxious. I let out a little chuckle and leaned towards him. "Are... You scared?" 

 

 

He scoffed as he pulled down the safety metal.  "No, why would I be?" 

 

 

I nodded and smiled sarcastically as our ride began moving forward. "Let's see," I said and he didn't seem to hear me since he looked nervous. 

 

 

He was clenching the safety metal rod so tightly that his knuckles almost lost its shade. I was tempted to place my hand over his, but I had to hold myself unless I wanted some drama to be happening with him. The coaster accelerated as it went up the steep incline. I looked at Myungsoo and he had squirmed his eyes so tightly that for once, I felt like laughing. The coaster was now at the highest peak, ready to drop itself down with full speed in a second. I screamed my lungs out and laughed as we were falling down. I took a glance at Myungsoo who still had his eyes shut. I looked forward again, resisting the urge to hold his hand, when suddenly, I felt something above my own hands. I looked down at it and at that instant I felt my heat pumping it's pulse with more speed than it already was, and my stomach churning. Myungsoo was gripping the back of my right hand so tightly. His hands were clammy, but I didn't mind. It was freaking Kim Myungsoo holding my hand. The roller coaster finally came to a halt and after bracing my self down, I looked at Myungsoo and chuckled. He was still squirming his eyes shut. 

 

 

"Myung," I called and patted his back with my left hand (which wasn't gripped tightly by him).  "It's over Myungsoo, we need to get out or we'll go for the next round," I told him and with that, he opened his eyes slowly. 

 

 

 

"It's over?" He asked softly with a blank expression, a really adorable one.

 

 

I nodded. 

 

 

"Eh... Myung... Can you..." I pointed to his fingers which were holding the back of my palms.

 

 

He looked at it and immediately pulled his hand back before I raised the safety metal up so that we could step out. 

 

We were quite awkward after the ride  and silence filled the air between us. 

 

 

 

"Nara... Can we sit?" He asked, holding his head. 

 

 

 

I nodded and we sat in a small cafe there. He laid his head down, probably feeling nauseous. I patted his back instinctively. "I'll get water for you alright?" I said and went to the counter to buy a bottle of cold water. 

 

 

"Here," I opened it and gave it to him. 

 

 

He raised his head up and grabbed the bottle from my hand. He took a few gulps before sitting back. 

 

 

 

"Are you okay?" I asked, feeling a bit guilty now. 

 

 

He nodded feebly. 

 

 

I let a small chuckle and asked, "So.. You're not scared huh?" 

 

 

He looked at me and raised one of his eyebrows. I kept quiet, not knowing what his eyebrows meant, and avoided his gaze. 

 

 

 

"Sorry," he said suddenly. 

 

 

I looked up to him, startled. "What?" 

 

 

"Sorry," he pointed to my right hand and I looked at it. 

 

 

 

It had red marks, tracing his fingers which had probably gripped me way too hard. 

 

 

"Oh... Ah... It's fine," I said and rubbed it with my left hand.

 

 

He sighed and looked down. "You can't tell anyone about this okay?" 

 

 

"About my hand?"

 

 

 

He shook his head and he had a shade of red on his cheeks. 

 

 

 

"Oh! About Kim Myungsoo who said he wasn't scared but mmmh-" 

 

 

 

He pressed his large hand against my mouth and that shut me off. He pulled his hands and glared fiercely. 

 

 

 

"Araso, relax," I assured him and he nodded in content. 

 

 

"Let's eat?" He asked and stood up. 

 

I followed him and we found a hot dog stand. We ordered one for each of us and sat down on a bench shaded with a huge umbrella. He paid for the both of us and I didn't complain because I knew he was probably bribing me for keeping my mouth shut and I didn't feel like ruining his plan. 

 

 

We ate, sitting across each other and I sometimes would stare at him, still not believing that I didn't know my crush had a fear of riding roller coasters. 

 

 

 

"Okay. Say it," he glared at me when he caught me staring at him for the nth time. 

 

 

"Hm?" 

 

 

"Say it. Say it that I'm such a coward," he said with an oddly calm smile. 

 

 

"Myungsooissuchacoward," but I still love you. 

 

 

"You don't have to say it that fast okay," he laughed.

 

 

"I'm a kind person. I won't embarrass you," I had a Cheshire grin on my face. 

 

 

He nodded. "Good point," 

 

 

Silence again. 

 

 

"Continue about what you think about me," I said. 

 

 

"About my lying you mean?" 

 

 

I nodded. 

 

 

"You are a bit of a ert,"

 

 

"But you're lying right?"

 

 

He shrugged his shoulders.

 

 

 

"You're beautiful," 

 

 

 

So, was he indirectly saying to me that I wasn't beautiful? That I was ugly? 

 

 

He stopped when he saw the change in my expression. But it wasn't like I didn't expect someone to say 'ugly' right on my face. 

 

 

I nodded, gulping down the bitterness, but it was fine. "Continue," I smiled.

 

 

"You have a lot to offer inside," he finished his hotdog. 

 

 

 

I didn't know what he meant by that, so I didn't bother to translate it in the opposite way. 

 

 

 

 

"Come on, I need to hunt pictures," he stood up. 

 

 

 

I followed him and we strolled around, Myungsoo busy with his camera while I was just looking around.

 

 

A perfect couple, consisting of a pretty, skinny girl and manga-faced man, were interlacing their fingers beside us. Myungsoo probably deserved someone like her. Then in front of us was a mother holding a chubby, little girl, eating a fluffy, pink cotton candy. I wish I could go back time and be that cute girl, those times when I don't need to think about what should I wear, when I don't need to think about what I eat. When I don't need to think about what the society thinks of me. But of course, those times had passed, and high school happened. People would start judging you, they would start talking about you and it just feels like you would never be good enough. Once you fix your grades, they will start judging on your appearance, like how chubby you are, how thin your hair is or how good is your nose bridge. I mean, are those things even important? And yet, we try to make our imperfect selves perfect although we know that it is totally absurd to be able to reach the perfection that everybody wants you to be. 

 

 

 

"Let's ride the Ferris wheel," Myungsoo suggested.

 

 

It was getting dark, and the sun had almost set without me even realizing it. 

 

 

We went to the massive, red ferris wheel and hopped into one of the cars. Myungsoo was capturing the breath-taking island view out of the window. He seemed so focus in his picture taking that I decided to take out my notebook. I sat back and looked out the window too. I scribbled some words but scratched it again. Something was not right with my words. I wrote some sentences again until I finally smiled with content.

 

 

 

"That book," Myungsoo sat back and put his camera down. I looked at him, "What's in it?" 

 

 

"Oh.." I scratched my head and closed it. What was I supposed to answer? A book where I pour out all of my feelings for you, Myung? "It's just a book," 

 

 

 

He raised one of his eyebrows, giving a judging look. "What kind of book, can I know?" 

 

I tilted my head. "Umm.." I shook my head. 

 

He chuckled. "Alright," 

 

 

 

Our car was engulfed by silence for a minute or two as it descended down. 

 

 

 

"Nara," 

 

 

"Hm?" 

 

 

"About just now..."

 

 

"Just now when?"

 

 

"When I lied about what I see in you," he paused, "I.. Wasn't lying," 

 

 

 

"Oh.." 

 

 

 

I won't lie and say I wasn't taken aback.

 

 

So, did he mean I was beautiful? And what did he said again? Damn it! Why should I be so forgetful?

 

 

Our car had gone down and we went out, not saying anything to each other. The silence on our walk back home was deafening. 

 

Then suddenly, I remembered something. 

 

 

 

"Yah! Myungsoo!" I glared at him. 

 

 

"W-what?" 

 

 

"ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT I'M A ERT?!"  

 

---

 

Inspirations are all like running away from me *sobs*

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