Ten
Perks of being alive
Chapter Ten - Deal
"Wow... This place is cool!" Sungyeol exclaimed as we entered the park gate, with 'Love land' carved on top of it. I grinned while looking at the sculptures around me.
"Hold it Yeol! Don't be a ert!" Minjae snapped at him.
Woohyun and Sora went to the ticket counter and bought one for each of us.
"AH! Waee!!" Sungyeol immediately whined once he saw the ticket.
I looked at him while frowning. What was wrong with him? He pouted and snatched Sunggyu's ticket.
"Y-yah! Give it back!"
Sungyeol held his and Sunggyu's ticket side by side and showed it to me.
"Look. He gets to enter the mature area,"
"That's because you're underage," Sunggyu rolled his eyes and snatched his ticket back.
"AH waee!!"
I shook my head as Sungyeol whined on and on again. We entered the park and looked around. There were interesting sculptures and statues and the guys were obviously more interested in the ones. I though, was also secretly curious of what was actually inside the mature area. Sora, Dongwoo, Ailee, Hoya, Raina,and Sunggyu went through the gate after showing their tickets and we were left in front, sitting on a bench under the love fountain, spurting its water above a statue of a sweet couple sharing an umbrella. Sungyeol whined again and surprisingly, Sunggyu turned back and walked towards us briskly.
"Look, do you really want to go inside?"
Sungyeol nodded enthusiastically.
"Here," Sunggyu gave him his ticket so cooly as if it was nothing.
The corner of my eyes caught Myungsoo looking at his best friend with his mouth agape.
Ailee smiled and rushed towards us too. "Here Myungsoo, accompany your erted friend," she gave Myungsoo her ticket too.
My head involuntarily went to look at Dongwoo who was staring at Ailee in confusion. "Ailee are you sure?" He asked.
She nodded her head. "Yeah. Unlike you guys I am not at all interested in these things, so I think Myungsoo would love it."
I frowned and looked at Sungjong who shrugged his shoulders at me. I knew I wasn't supposed to be thinking like this but... Was it really true Ailee and Dongwoo was going to end?
Myungsoo and Sungyeol rushed up to the gate to join Dongwoo, Raina, Hoya and Sora with a beaming face.
"Sora-ah!" Woohyun called and she turned her back.
"Are you not going to give your ticket to me?" He pouted.
Sora smirked and waved her ticket in the air. "Keep dreaming," she stuck her tongue out and went in with the others.
"Aahh..." Woohyun sighed.
"Why did you give your ticket to Myungsoo?" I asked Ailee, rather suddenly.
She looked at me with surprise. "I told you I don't like seeing those stuffs..." She paused and then gasped, "Ah! I get it! You want him to stay he-" I covered before she could say anything else, the others were looking strangely at me.
I released my hand and she smiled playfully while patting my back. "It's okay Nara, our Jeju trip is still long,"
I shook my head and sighed.
"Do you want to go and walk around with me Nara?" Sunggyu asked as he stood up and cleared his throat.
"Sure," I said, getting his cue.
We walked down until we were out of sight. "So..." I ventured as we stopped our steps.
He faced me, his thin eyes getting smaller under the sun rays. "What's the deal?"
I widened my eyes. "Deal?"
"Yeah, deal. If I tell you what's with me, what do I get?"
I chuckled dryly and scoffed. "I knew it! You're always so stingy!" I punched his arms.
"Yah! It hurts!" He glared at me and I rolled my eyes.
"Oh! I know what I want!" He suddenly beamed.
"What?" I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Oppa~" he cooed with a smirk. A stupid smirk.
"Oh you're not getting it," I crossed my arms.
"That's fine. Then I'm not answering you too,"
I kept quiet, weighing the options. Calling Sunggyu oppa was equal to digging your own graveyard but despite that fact, I sighed and nodded. The curiosity was overwhelming.
"Fine then," I said.
He nodded too while leaning his back against the stone wall behind. "Good." He cleared his throat.
"So tell me, what's going on?"
"You have to promise me something Nara," he paused. "You have to promise me to not look at me differently,"
"I won't," I assured him.
He sighed. "I sing Nara,"
"You sing very well," I added silently.
He chuckled with no humor. "Thank you but it's just making me in a tougher position,"
"W-what are you talking about?"
"I'm saying that... My parents doesn't allow me to pursue my dream," he looked at me with an even expression.
I opened my mouth but nothing escaped from it. My heart was as if it was numb. Did I have to comfort him? But he told me not to look at him in a different way. How was I supposed to do that? I was looking at everyone and everything with a much different eye, especially since my talk with Sungjong.
"So right now, I'm just trying to not give too much hopes to myself," he said. I couldn't identify even a scratch of sadness on the surface of his tone. He sounded... Empty. It was as if he was just saying a normal hello to me.
I tilted my head and frowned.
"Why do you seem to be so confused?" He asked with a dry laugh.
How could he even laugh?
"Yah! Where have you guys been?! We've been searching for you," we heard Raina's voice, but didn't react to it.
"Sunggyu..." Was the only word that could escape my mouth.
He looked at me and smiled bitterly. "Where's the oppa?" He asked before going back to join the group, leaving me with a blank mind.
Just what was wrong with everybody?
Or was it me who was just realizing everything that had been going on?
"Here, you have to hold it like this and make sure you don't move," Myungsoo explained while helping Ailee use his camera. I was obviously not comfortable with their quite intimate position on the bench.
"Ehrm... Ailee-ah," Dongwoo addressed her. She gazed up at him, not at all looking startled as if she was purposely being intimate with Myungsoo.
What the hell was going on? Was I just seeing it now?
Ailee stood up and returned the camera to the owner. Dongwoo smiled and held her hand as we walked, but I could see from behind that she wasn't gripping back his hand.
"Where were you?"
"Huh?" I looked to my right dreamily, only to find Myungsoo staring back at me and repeating his question.
"Oh... I was just talking with Sunggyu," I replied mindlessly.
Too much was going on in front of me. From Sunggyu to Ailee and Dongwoo, and worst thing was none of it made any sense. Sungjong's words kept lingering in my mind.
"Hmm... Sunggyu..." Somehow I could sense a mocking tone in Myungsoo's words.
I sighed. "Come on Myung,"
He looked at me.
"Stop being so anti to each other," I made my point because to me, it was like my brother hated my boyfriend. Although yeah, technically, Sunggyu wasn't my brother and Myungsoo wasn't my boyfriend, and it .
"He blamed me for hurting you. I mean okay, it was my fault for making you go at midnight but I didn't know it was going to rain and all. Who does he thinks he is? Your boyfriend?" He was trying to suppress his tone down so that no one could hear that we were actually arguing back there.
I patted his shoulder. "Myung, you have to understand that... That me and Sunggyu are like siblings and it's normal that he's kindaaa overprotective and all,"
He pouted and exhaled audiably. "Fine."
We then had lunch in a Chinese restaurant and we were seated in a round table which made us a bit confused. I know it's weird but... We were just like staring down at the table as if it was an alien.
"Where is the edge of the table?" Dongwoo furrowed his eyebrows.
The waitress came at us and asked politely if there was any problem.
"Do you um.. Have any rectangular table for uh... Twelve?" Woohyun asked awkwardly.
The waitress scanned around the room with a confused look. "Um... No..."
"O..kay.." Woohyun said.
"Let's just sit down anywhere for now," I suggested, since my stomach was already growling, and I quickly sat down at the chair in front of me.
Sungyeol sat on my right with Myungsoo, and Minjae on my left. Everyone finally settled down and we ordered. It was a bit weird since I usually have Raina in front of me, but I have Sunggyu instead right now, and it was honestly quite disturbing since he just told me about his... not really happy story... I guess. So yeah, I was contemplating if I should smile at him, or put on a sad face, or just act normally. I was going for the last choice but acting normal was hard.
I shook my head, as though trying to regain lost my soul.
Sunggyu wasn't really paying attention to me which was great, but at the same time, I at least thought that he would smile or acknowledge me for knowing something that he had kept for so long. There were still questions though spinning inside my head.
Like, why did he have to hide it? So that he won't give himself fake hopes? Or what?
We ate our lunch and all I did was gulping down the rice mindlessly. After we were done, we decided to get some rest back at the villa. I washed my face, hoping that my mind would also be cleared up but no, it was all hazy and tangled up there. I just hate it whenever something isn't clear, like you know that feeling when nothing is sure and it's as if everything's floating in the middle of nowhere? Yeah, that sort of feeling.
"Stop being weird would you?" Minjae snapped and I was startled.
She turned off the tap and rubbed her wet hands against her purple tee which then produced damp spots.
"Stop being so lazy will you? You can just take a tissue there and wipe your hands," I said back, trying to escape from her interrogating session. Oh no, it wouldn't be cute once Minjae starts to ask you tons of questions.
"Aish, what's the problem with you really," she grunted but took some tissues anyways.
I smiled and nodded too myself. Good. Now, she won't bother me.
"So what happened between you and Sunggyu?" Oh great, right then she started asking me questions.
I looked at myself through the mirror. "I don't know," My voice trailed off
Minjae frowned and rested her bump against the faucet. "What do you mean you don't know?"
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "Like, everything's so weird. Things that I never expected seem to be likely happening," I knew she didn't understand a single word I was talking about but she kept quiet, listening to me. "And I feel so lost and helpless now. I mean, I don't know what am I supposed to do and I don't really feel like I'm myself these past few days,"
Minjae stood straight up and patted my shoulder with a smile on her lips, "You don't have to do anything. Let it happen, and for once Nara, stop being so selfless. You have to remind yourself to take care of yourself too," she said and pointed to my bandaged knee and ankle, before leaving.
Stop being selfless. But it would mean being selfish. I shook my head and changed my clothes before going back into our villa, only to see half of the people sleeping, including Sunggyu. I wondered, how could he sleep so peacefully?
Minjae looked up from her phone and tugged my pants, signaling me to sit next to her. I crawled into my sleeping bag. "Get some sleep," she told me. I nodded. It had been a while since I was able to have a good sleep anyways. I took off my specs and closed my eyes after fitting myself in a comfortable position.
An hour past by, and everyone in the room was already fast asleep, excluding me. My eyes were super tired but my brain wasn't. Every time I closed my eyes, my brain would start thinking hardly. I sat up and put on my specs, only to find Sungjong missing. Good. Maybe talking to him would help. I went out of the room silently after sneaking my notebook in my pocket and sat down on the bench in front of the small park there.
As expected, Sungjong was walking in the midst of the pale purple lavender, his hands swiftly brushing the flowers as he walked through the field. He had an even expression on his small face. It was like he was thinking hard but he was able to show a calm vibe at the same time. Sometimes I could feel that he was hiding something since he didn't really talk much, but at the same time, he was observing each one of us so intensely that he knew what was actually going on backstage.
The wind blew across the field, making Sungjong's brown bangs cover his eyes. He combed it back and that was when he noticed my presence. His thin lips tugged up a smile as he beckoned. I stood up and the sea of lavenders drowned my lower half body. The floral scent filled up my nose. I waded towards Sungjong and he handed me a spray of the freshly cut lavender.
"Thanks," I giggled.
He nodded and gripped my wrist suddenly. "I want to show you something,"
"Eh?"
We walked through the flowers until Sungjong suddenly stopped. The wind blew continuously across our face that I was struggling to breathe.
"Relax yourself and inhale," Sungjong said as he closed his eyes and inhaled himself.
I did the same thing, and yes it felt good.
"Now spread your arms widely and just... Let yourself free," he said. I peeked a bit to Sungjong to make sure I wasn't spreading my arms alone like an idiot in the middle of the field. It relieved me that Sungjong was doing what he said.
I closed my eyes back and took a deep breathe before spreading out my arms. The strong wind blew accross us again but this time, I didn't feel suffocated like before. If it felt good before, it felt awesome then. I felt like I was a bird who had just been freed out of the cage after such a long time. Just amazing. It was like all my problems were carried away by the winds and for once, I could enjoy myself without thinking about anyone else.
I laughed.
"It's cool isn't it?" Sungjong joined me laughing, our eyes still closed.
"It's awesome," My voice was buried by the gushing of wind but it didn't matter.
"What do you call this place?" I asked, shouting a bit.
Sungjong opened his eyes and looked at me. I stared at him too.
"Paradise."
Have you ever felt so empty?
Have your heart ever beat aimlessly?
Have you ever felt being so lost?
At those moments,
You would want to just pour everything out
But what is there to be poured out?
It's empty inside.
And then a thing called freedom came.
Freedom from the hazy fog.
Freedom from your doubts.
And when that freedom comes,
You are able to exhale with relief after such a long time
Okay ._.
Let the drama start in the next chapter...
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