Chapter Sixteen - Roller Coaster 

 

 

My alarm clock shrilled and I grunted. First day of school was always the toughest, especially that I had just stayed up last night with Sunggyu to watch the final episodes of  Dream High (and we teared up). Minjae, if you're asking, had been way quieter, and she had hung out less often with us. But of course, we all tolerated her. I visited her and her mother quite frequently, just asking them how they were doing and having small chats with them to drift the two mourning ladies out of their dark days. 

 

 

Waking up, I brushed my teeth and took a bath, and fried myself an egg. After I was done with my breakfast, I clung my back pack and knocked on Sunggyu's apartment. He didn't open it and I grunted. "Yah! Sunggyu open up! We're going to be late!" I exclaimed and right at that moment the door opened, revealing Sunggyu with his wet hair and untucked school uniform. 

 

 

 

"Why do you always have to ruin my morning?" He groaned and put on his tie. 

 

"We're going to be late!" 

 

"Nara, for Myungsoo's sake, it's still 6, and school is going to begin at 7," 

 

"I haven't finish my homework," I said and ransacked his drawers, searching for his first year workbooks.

 

"Yeah, right." He said sardonically. 

 

I rolled my eyes and pulled out a physics workbook. 

 

"I'm borrowing your physics," 

 

"Hm," 

 

 

 

I took out my physics book and started copying the homework. Another thing about me, I at physics. I hated physics. I mean, who cares about how much force is needed to turn a pivot, or how energy changes? Well, at least I don't. Sunggyu in the other hand, seemed to love physics so much, and so, he would help me whenever I had tests on the next day, but it would usually end up by us fighting with each other because I couldn't understand a thing he was explaining. 

 

He ate his breakfast, which probably consisted of only milk and cereals, and dressed up properly. "Come on," he said and took his car keys. 

 

 

 

We went down and I continued copying my homework on his car. 

 

"Yah! Drive slowly!"

 

He rolled his eyes, completely ignoring me. The car went through bumps and holes on the road, he was obviously doing this on purpose. 

 

"Stop it Sunggyu!!" I exclaimed.

 

"Stop what?" He put on this really innocent face as he continued driving. 

 

"Aish! Whatever!" 

 

By the time we reached school, I was done with my home works. Sunggyu walked me to my class and then went up the stairs to his. I entered the class, and as expected, Minjae wasn't there. Almost two weeks had passed since her father's death but maybe she needed more time. Sungyeol, on the other hand, was already there, sitting in front of my place. He looked up and grinned on me, "Hello Nara,"

 

"What do you want?" I snapped him. It was very unusual of him to greet me, unless he had a hidden purpose.

 

"Call Minjae," he immediately told me his intention. 

 

"What?" I frowned. 

 

He sighed. "She's not picking up my phone," 

 

"Yeol, she won't go to school. She haven't even wake up," I said and sat down. 

 

Sungyeol turned back and faced me. "Nara, until when?" 

 

"Until she's ready," I told him and took my books out. 

 

Just then, Yuri, one of my classmates, whom I was actually quite close with, went to my place. And because she was my physics failing buddy, I gave my physics homework directly to her. She took it with a beaming smile. 

 

"You always know me," she nodded and went back to her place. 

 

I laughed a bit and then went back to Sungyeol, who was... Eyeing on Yuri. I smirked. "You're hitting on her," 

 

He kept on staring at her. "She has a... Nice body," 

 

I smacked his arms and he turned his head back to me.

 

"Okay, fine. Back to Minjae," 

 

I huffed.

 

"You must call her," 

 

"She won't pick up-"

 

"Call her,"

 

I sighed with defeat. "Fine," 

 

I took out my cell phone and dialed her number. After a few moment, I put down my phone. "She didn't pick up," I said. 

 

"She's like having an internal battle with herself," 

 

I nodded. "I know," 

 

"And you're not gonna do anything?" 

 

"Well what am I supposed to do?" 

 

"Persuade her to go to school maybe? She's rotting at home," 

 

"She's just trying to clear up her mind. She will be in school when she's ready," 

 

"Don't act like you don't know her Nara, she will never be ready," 

 

"Then why don't you be the one to persuade her to come to school," 

 

"Because..." He tilted his head, "I'm bad at it,"

 

I scoffed, "You're bad at it?" 

 

He nodded, and at that moment, the bell rung. Yuri returned my book and Sungyeol flashed a smile to her, to which she returned with a nod. Everyone settled down and Mrs. In entered, making everyone silent. I groaned silently. 

 

Holiday was seriously over. 

 

After school was done, I told Sunggyu that he could go back home without me, and went to visit Minjae after buying her chicken. She always liked chicken. 

 

I knocked on her door and she opened it, but she seemed that she didn't want to let me in. 

 

"Uh... Can I come in?" 

 

She shook her head. 

 

"Why?" 

 

"You should stop seeing me," 

 

I shook my head. "Why are you acting all weird like this?" 

 

"I've been acting weird since my father died," 

 

"Minjae..." I sighed, "Please let me in. I bought chicken for you, here," I gave her the plastic bag with a box of chicken inside it, but she didn't want to take it from my hand. 

 

"Please Nara... Stop feeding me like this," 

 

"I will keep on doing this until you get over everything," 

 

She stepped back, a glimpse of fear portrayed on her onyx eyeballs which looked darker than usual. "I'll promise you I'll get back to school once everything's stable... But right now... Just stop coming here Nara. It's more saddening for me to see that you are trying so hard to get me out of this shell, but I refuse to do so," her voice trembled.

 

I looked at her, my stomach sinking. My arms and knees felt weak. Was I trying too hard? 

 

I bit my lips and nodded. "Okay. Just... Call me if you need anything," I said sadly. 

 

She nodded. "Bye Nara," she put on a sad smile and closed the door. I froze there, in front of the broken-white door, for a moment or two until I finally decided to get back home.

 

Arriving at my apartment, I was greeted by another surprise. Myungsoo was sitting in front of my door. 

 

He immediately stood up once he caught me walking towards him- no, actually I was walking towards my apartment. 

 

"What are you doing here?" I asked him coldly. 

 

I was about to insert my card into the door slot, but he blocked me with his body. "I want to talk to you,"

 

"I said I don't want to," 

 

I didn't know why was I acting that way, probably because I was mad at him, but at the same time, I was also embarrassed that he knew I had special feelings towards him and I was afraid that he would talk to me about that and maybe even tell me, "Let's just be friends for now." The feeling of rejection, you know.

 

"But I want to," 

 

"Move," I said. 

 

"After we talk," 

 

I scoffed and turned my back to him, walking a meter away and knocked on Sunggyu's door. As usual, he didn't open it on my first knock. 

 

"Freaking open the door right now!" I exclaimed. 

 

"Nara," Myungsoo called me from behind but I shoved him off. "Don't you think we need to talk?" 

 

Finally, Sunggyu opened the door. His eyes couldn't be considered open, but it did when I pointed to Myungsoo behind me. 

 

"W-what are you doing here?" Sunggyu asked while I slipped below his elbows which was holding the door frame, into his apartment.

 

"I want to talk to Nara," I heard Myungsoo answered as I vanished into Sunggyu's room. 

 

"I don't think she wants to talk to you. If you excuse me, I need to go in," Sunggyu told him and I heard the door being closed. 

 

I sighed in relief.

 

Sunggyu entered his room and dropped himself beside me, on the bed. 

 

"What was that about?" He asked, his voice muffled under the pillow.

 

"He wants to talk to me," I shrugged, echoing what Myungsoo had told him. 

 

"Then why do you need to run away from him?" Sunggyu turned his body facing me. 

 

"Because..." I sighed, I didn't even know why was I constantly running away from him. "I'm still mad at him," I nodded, assuring myself that I should still be mad because he had intruded my privacy.

 

Sunggyu raised one of his eyebrows and shot me a look. 

 

"What?" 

 

"You aren't even sure," 

 

"If I give you chicken will you drift the topic?" I asked, holding up the plastic bag. 

 

He shook his head and I shrugged, "Fine, but don't plead me to give you when I'm eating it," I said and opened the box. The appetizing smell roamed all over the room and Sunggyu turned his back on me. 

 

"So, about Myungsoo," he sighed, "You should give him a chance," 

 

I took a bite and scoffed, "A chance? A chance for him to reject me you mean?" 

 

He chuckled quietly, "It seems that you're not mad at him," he turned to me again, "It's just you're scared to face the truth," 

 

"I-I'm not scared," Right?

 

He shook his head, "Now I know why you and Minjae can be really good friends. You two have something similar, you both never wants to admit your true feelings," 

 

"Because we feel it's not okay to let our guards down," 

 

"You have trust issues,"

 

"Yes we do," I spoke.

 

 

 

Sunggyu let out an audible exhale and looked at me, "Nara, as much as   I want that chicken, I'm going to sacrifice it because I want you to talk to Myungsoo,"

 

 

"I'm not ready," I frowned.

 

"Not ready about what? You're acting as if you just had a break up with him," 

 

 

 

I scoffed.

 

 

 

"You still like him," 

 

I shook my head, "That's absurd,"

 

He laughed with no humor, "Isn't love absurd?" 

 

 

 

I sighed and sat back. 

 

 

 

"But my point is, you don't have to feel stupid and lie to yourself just because he did something wrong-"

 

"Something terribly wrong," I said quietly.

 

 

Sunggyu suspired again and I stood up, not really wanting to talk about this topic actually- just not yet. 

 

 

 

I washed my hands at the toilet and climbed up his bed again after cleaning my meal. 

 

 

"Why are you suddenly taking sides on him?" I asked, looking directly at his minuscule eyes. 

 

"I'm not taking sides," he denied. 

 

"You clearly are, you are trying to make me talk to him. Am I wrong?" I asked, staying calm. 

 

He shook his head. "You are correct, but I know what's the best for you because I can clearly see what's in your heart right now," 

 

I closed my eyes and rested my head on against the wall behind. "Sunggyu..." I called.

 

"Hm?"

 

"Sometimes, I feel like the world is not favoring on me you know?" He kept quiet, "I'm seeing a different personality from the two people I thought I won't be disappointed at. I mean, Minjae turned her back on me this evening when I came to her house," I opened my eyes and curled my feet up to my chin.

 

"Sometimes it's disappointment that you have to thank," he smiled, "If you're always happy, those moments aren't going to be valuable anymore. But when you know what it feels like to be down, then only you can actually feel how precious happiness is,"

 

 

 

I stayed quiet. Sunggyu was right though, and I couldn't backfire him, not this time. Maybe my roller coaster of life was going down, and I just needed to hold the safety metal tightly. I just needed to hold on to the future, to my hopes and dreams.

 

 

 

Because I was sure that in a few moment, my roller coaster would boost up again. 

 

 

 

 

"Sunggyu," I smiled and he directed his eyes on me. "You know what? I think I'll talk to Myungsoo afterall,"