Chapter Twenty -  Comfort zone 

"Hey, I'm hanging out with Myungsoo today, do you want to join us?" Sungyeol asked with his gummy grin while we were packing our bags that Monday afternoon. 

"Why are you asking me?" I threw a suspicious glare at him, "Do you want something?" 

He rolled his eyes, "No, Nara, I don't want to ask anything from you. All I want to do is be a good friend who wants to help you hang out with your crush," he gave me a made up sweet smile and I returned it. 

"Shut up," I laughed and clung my bag. 

Sungyeol wrapped his arms around me, "I'll take that as a yes then, come on," 

I wished I was hallucinating, but when Sungyeol dragged me out of the class, the corner of my eye caught Minjae looking at us. I was about to ask her to join me, just like old days, when I realized that it was over with her. So, with a light heart, I followed Sungyeol out of the class room. 

"So how's you and him? I don't want to be stuck in the middle of your awkwardness," 

"You were the one who asked me to join you!" I hit his arms and giggled, "But yeah, we're fine," 

He nodded with a laugh, "That's good then. I thought you don't like him anymore," he teased. 

"Shut up," I rolled my eyes as we went down the stairs. 

Myungsoo joined us when he spotted me and Sungyeol outside the school compound, so we headed to the cafe together. After ordering, we picked a comfortable table for four- since technically there were no tables for three- at one corner, away from all the noisy middle school students. When I looked at them, somehow, I couldn't help but tug my lips upwards. They reminded me of... Me, especially the girl with the thick rimmed spectacles and braces. Only difference was, she was actually pretty skinny and I wasn't, but yeah, more or less, I might have looked as... Well, as lame as her. I still probably looked lame right now, but thank God I had my braces off last year. But that wasn't the cause of me smiling. It was her circle of friends. Let's be honest here, she looked lame, I looked like a looser and yet, our friends were never ashamed of us. It was always me who was always embarrassed of myself. Isn't it funny? 

"Nara?" Myungsoo called me out of my reverie. 

I blinked twice and shook my head before directing my gaze to him, "Yeah? Were you saying something?" 

"I was just asking what is your class doing for the arts week?" He scratched the back of his head. 

"Oh, arts week," I looked at Sungyeol and back to Myungsoo, "We haven't discuss it. How about your class?" 

"We're planning to do a cosplay," he grinned. 

"Cosplay?" Me and Sungyeol widened our eyes. Now that was new. Nobody ever did a cosplay.

Myungsoo nodded, "Yeah, we'll be opening up photo boots and all,"

"And you're cosplaying?" Sungyeol cocked one of his brows up.

Myungsoo nodded. 

"As what?" I asked, probably sounding too eager which made me curse under my breath.

"Hmm... Let's make that a surprise yes?" He wiggled his eyebrows and his lips. 

I rolled my eyes and gave a chuckle, "Fine," 

We parted home at about six. I had planned to study for my finals. It was about time that I focus back on my academics. I knew that this time round I wouldn't be able to cheat on Sungyeol like usual, and I didn't want failing marks on my report. I couldn't cheat, nor did I wanted to. If I cheat, I'll be cheating on myself then that it was finals. 

"Nara," Hana called as I emerged out of my room, "Me and Jaeryul want to give you something," 

"What is it?" I asked while drying up my hair with the blue towel. If you're wondering why my stuffs were all blue, it was simply because I loved blue. 

Hana and Jaeryul didn't usually give things freely to me, and it made me realize how cruel the world actually is. Okay, I'm being over dramatic. But anyways, the fact that they wanted to give me something actually seemed weird and it made me a little suspicious, although yeah, I was excited to find out what they wanted to give me. 

Jaeryul joined us by sitting at the couch, eating a chocolate biscuit. 

"Don't you dare dirty my couch with those crumbles!" I exclaimed but he just made a face. 

"Nara, listen," Hana spoke, "We know that your finals are coming up and so," Oh this won't be good, "We've hired a tutor for you-"

"YOU WHAT?!"

See, they never gave me anything for free. Okay, the tutor was free for me, but still, I didn't like people tutoring me and explaining me subjects as if I was an idiot. I was persistent that I am able to pass my finals with flying colors on my own. I repeat, ON MY OWN.

"Look, calm down dude," Jaeryul sighed, "I know you wouldn't like it, so thanks to me, you have a choice," 

I frowned, "W-what choice?" 

"We'll give you the tutor's contact number and all. It's your choice to contact him or not, we're leaving this to you," 

I sighed with full relief, "Thank you! Really, thank you!" 

"And one more thing," Hana said, "We'll be leaving for home tomorrow," 

"Home as in..."

"Home, where mom and dad lives. Yeah, home," Jaeryul shrugged. 

"Oh," I spoke quietly, "Are you going back here after that?" 

"We're not sure, but we'll let you know," Hana smiled. 

I nodded while slightly bitting my bottom lips, "It's your last night here then," I said blandly, still feeling weird. 

The fact that I would most probably not see them again for a year or two, made me feel... Sad, I guess. 

They nodded and I drifted back to my room. I heaved before sitting down at my study table and turning on my study lamp which I hadn't use since forever- or most precisely since the last finals, which was of course, last year. 

I opened my biology book and started studying. Studying really madly. 

-***-

"Do you really have to do this? I mean, don't get me wrong. I am happy for you, like really ecstatic but... Isn't the States too far?" My voice trailed off at the end of my subtle protest. 

Sunggyu chuckled and rested his back on his orange couch, "Ah... I know you will miss me-"

"You know that's not true-"

"You know that's true," he shot me a playful glare, "But look Nara, you told me to go for my dreams and I'm going for my dreams. Perhaps you didn't realize that fulfilling my dream also means me making a really tough decision," 

"I didn't know that it would mean you leaving us," I said quietly.

He sighed, "I'm only going to the states if that university accepts me, and if they really did accept me, I won't immediately go there alright?" 

He was trying to make me feel better, just like usual. But unlike usual, I didn't feel better. 

"When are you going there?" I asked while playing with the loose ends of the thread on the couch.  

"In two or three years," he smiled, "See, I'll still be by your side for quite some time," 

I couldn't help but tug a small smile on my lips, but it faded away as soon as I realized something, "How about your family?" 

Sunggyu shook his head, "They don't know about this," 

"They don't know about this?" My pupils widened. I had never seen Sunggyu doing such courageous act.

A sad chuckle escaped his mouth, "If they know, I'll be dead. So, for the next two or three years, I'll be working for my university fee,"

"As a cleaning service you mean?" I arched my eyebrows.

"As a barista," 

"Shut up! You can't even make your own tea,"

"I'll learn that from one of my friend. His brother owns a cafe,"

"Sunggyu!"

"I'm serious, what's wrong with being a barista?" He exclaimed. 

"It won't pay you enough- I mean, come on, do you really want to starve for weeks and months in the states?" 

"Well... I don't know, but at least I'm trying," he shrugged. 

"Come on..." I sighed defeatedly.

"I'm trying Nara, you should be supporting me," 

"Well, to support you, I can't wait to be served by you in that usual cafe," I let out a playful grin despite all the... Sorrows, I guess. 

"I won't be working there and let the whole school see me wearing a thicker eyeliner than you," 

I laughed at the image of Sunggyu enhancing his minuscule eyes with an eyeliner, "But some girls would probably hit on you, you know. Oh! Maybe it's time for you to go on a date, flirt chicks, the stuffs that normal guys do," I spoke, emphasizing the word 'normal'.

"Nara, stop saying such nonsense," 

"That's not nonsense Sunggyu! That's called... Life! Man, have you ever even been in love?" 

"I'm in love with singing," he said with a bland tone.

"Not cute Sunggyu," I rolled my eyes. 

"The point of you here, is not having a talk about my love life,"

"Oh my geez Sunggyu! I just realized something!" My jaw dropped as I inched forward towards him, who was leaning at the other end of the couch. 

"What?" He frowned. 

"Are you perhaps... Gay?" I asked quietly. 

Look, it all made sense. He never told me about his love life or about hot chicks that passed by him, which in my view, was amazingly weird because Sungyeol does that all the time. I mean, even Woohyun who had Sora, sometimes couldn't bring his eyes off from a hot . 

"WHAT? Are you telling me that I'm gay?! Wh- what is wrong with you today?" 

"It's true right?! I mean, you never talk about girls and all," I defended myself. 

"Yah, doesn't mean I'm gay okay? You watch too much drama," he rolled his eyes and I pouted, crossing my arms in front of my chest. 

"I do like someone right now, and she's a girl okay?" Sunggyu admitted rather sheepishly after I calmed down. 

"Oh," my eyes widened, "Who is she?" 

"I'm not telling you," he said and stood up, pouring some orange juice for himself at the counter. 

"Aaaahh, tell me," I whined. 

"I'll tell you after I come back from the States," he said.

"That's so too late! You probably have dated some other girl then," 

"Yeah, probably," he shrugged and leaned back against the counter while drinking the juice. 

How could he be so carefree with this matter? 

"What is important to me right now is singing," he nodded, more of towards himself. 

I sighed at the thought again. I knew I was selfish, but I wished that he didn't need to go to that extent to pursue his dreams. Maybe Sunggyu was right after all, it was me who didn't realize that dreaming is a big thing. That reaching your dreams need some sacrifices.

After Sunggyu leaves, I'll probably have no one else except well, that brat, Sungyeol. Why were people leaving me? First was Minjae, then Hana and Jaeryul, that could be considered as leaving, although they weren't really leaving me, but you get my point, and now, Sunggyu came out with this glorious idea of his to go for the states. Wow. 

"Sunggyu," I called in a more serious voice, "After you leave, can you promise me to always stay in touch?" 

He put his glass down and looked at me in the eye, "We'll stay in touch Nara, I promise you," 

I nodded and glanced at the clock, "It's late, I should go back," I said and stood up. 

I stretched my body and headed towards the door. 

"Ehm Nara," Sunggyu called me, his voice slightly awkward. 

I turned back to him as I gripped the cold silvery handle, "Hm?" 

"You might wanna go to the toilet as soon as you can," he pointed to my white shorts, "I think your period's coming," he chuckled. 

I widened my eyes. Oh.. Wow... So the reason why I felt my being wet was because of this. That was so... Embarrassing! Like I know, the both of us were super comfortable with each other and stuff, and we talk about deep personal things like you know... Puberty and all. That was the start of him and almost the whole group calling me a ert since they had this image that I know much about boys puberty too. I swear, it was because I've secretly witnessed my brother doing 'that', you know, 'that'. Okay, anyway, it was the second time Sunggyu caught me having a period with no sanitary napkin. Seriously, I don't understand how periods are able to pick the right time to come. 

"Oh geez!" I exclaimed and rushed to his couch, meticulously examining the spot I laid my on, "Did I drop some stain here?" 

Sunggyu laughed and walked towards me, "Drop some stain," he mocked, still laughing, "Just go back and put yourself a sanitary napkin. I'll clean the mess up if you did 'drop some stain'," 

I bit my lips and retreated to the door. I turned around for the last time to look at Sunggyu who was standing behind me. 

"Sunggyu, when you're gone," I paused and chuckled sadly, "Who would tell me that I have blood on my ?"