Chapter Five - Imperfect

“Hey, what are you doing?” Sungyeol's voice startled me, and I immediately turned around.

I combed my hair with my hand, not knowing how to react. Somehow, I didn't want anyone to know about Sunggyu, even though I, myself, wasn't clear about what was going on with him. I faked a smile.

“I was thinking of hanging outside the villa for a while you know. Do you mind accompanying me?” I reasoned.

He furrowed his eyebrows, but nodded. I sighed in relieve and sat on the steps in front of the sliding door with Sungyeol. The silence was deafening, but I didn't mind. As long as no one busted Sunggyu. He could probably sense that we were outside, since I purposely raised my voice to give a signal to him that we were just right in front of the villa, and I thought he got it, since his sobbing immediately stopped. I just wanted to give him some time alone.

“So how did you enjoy your date with Myungsoo?” Sungyeol asked.

“It wasn't a date,” I replied silently.

“Yeah whatever it was. Did you enjoy it?”

I glared at him. “What do you think idiot?”

He grinned with his gummy smile and laughed. “Aigoo.... Nara,” he messed with my hair and I slapped his hand.

I breath out air and laid my head above his shoulders before sighing.

“Sungyeol...” I called him.

“Hm?”

“Why can't I be like other girls?” I asked faintly. I didn't even know why did that topic crossed my mind at that moment.

He looked at me and I raised my head. “W-what are you talking about?”

“Why am I fat? Why am I not pretty? Why does no one loves me?” I asked him with a smile. A sour one.

He wrapped his arms around me. “Nara, you're not like that.”

I burried my head on his chest, and felt water engulfing my eyes. I didn't want to cry. Not now. But my eyes became hot. I closed it and rivulets of tears streamed down. Sungyeol patted my back.

“Where did all this come from suddenly?” He asked with his laugh, but I knew he wasn't mocking me. He was comforting me.

I raised my head from his chest and rubbed my tears.

“I don't know.” I shrugged my shoulders.

 Honestly, Sungyeol was a better listener than Minjae. No, Minjae was actually better, but you see, Minjae was only a passive listener. Sungyeol, on the other hand, was able to say something, making me feel better. And no, I didn't have any feeling towards him. Not anymore. We were friends, and just friends.

“Every girl feels that way you know,” he said.

“Difference is, when they complain they're fat, they're actually not. But when I complain I'm fat, I actually am,” I said, sniffing.

I didn't know why did this thought came to my mind at this very wrong timing but there were moments you know, where I just feel terribly imperfect. Ugly. Broken. And uh-oh, when I feel that way, I always ended up crying silently. I wasn't a cry baby. No. But sometimes, when I look at myself at the mirror, there were times when I feel I wasn't worth it. I was weak. I wasn't pretty like any other girls. Even Raina was better.

Sungyeol looked at me with a smile and wiped my tears with his thumb.

“Since when does Nara cries?”

His words made me feel better and I giggled silently.

“I don't know you guys are dating,” Myungsoo's cold tone surprised the both of us.

We stood up and turned to him.

“Ehh... Me dating him? No way. Just no!” I denied, trying to act casual. It was embarassing that he saw me in this state.

“Oh I'm sorry, but I don't think I would want to date you too!” Sungyeol added, stucking his tongue out and I rolled my eyes.

Myungsoo shook his head and brushed the both of us, entering the villa. I sighed and smiled to Sungyeol.

“Thanks,”

He nodded and we went in.

I woke up the next day before everyone did. Well, Hoya and Dongwoo had gone for their morning jog, I assumed, since they were missing. I stretched my arms out and sat down. My eyes felt so dry and sticky. Then I realized how stupid and embarrassing I was to cry in front of Sungyeol. Like what everyone says, regret comes later. I held my head. A little bit dizzy, but it was okay. After drinking a glass of water, I went out to take a bath. When I got back to the villa, everyone was already awake, except Myungsoo and Sunggyu.

“Oh, Nara,” Ailee called while folding her sleeping bag.

“Hm?” I walked towards her while drying my wet hair with the towel.

“Do you mind waking these two boys up? I and the others are going to take a bath. But don't worry, I'll help you when I'm done,” Ailee told me and smiled.

I nodded. “No problem,”

I went towards Sunggyu after the villa was empty. I shook his body. No response.

“Yah! Sunggyu!” I exclaimed.

He groaned softly, his eyes still closed, and turned to the other side, with his back facing me. I rolled my eyes and pinched his cheeks.

“AAAH!!!” He shrieked while trying to protect his cheeks from my hands.

I released my fingers and smiled with content. “Wake up you pabo!”

He finally opened his eyes and groaned. “What time is it?”

“It doesn't matter what time is it. Everyone's up, so you better be too,”

“Fine, fine, just 5 more minutes,”

No, I didn't fall for Kim Sunggyu's '5 minutes' trick. I pulled his arms up with great effort and he finally sat down.

“Aish... This girl,”

With eyes still half open, Sunggyu finally went out for a bath. I went to Myungsoo who was still sleeping calmly, not flinching towards a single commotion that had happened between me and Sunggyu. I looked at his face and bit my lips. Now, I would enjoy waking this one up.

I placed my hands above his chest and shook him gently. Waayyy more gentle than how I had shaken Sunggyu. Partly, because I didn't know how much effort was needed for me to wake him up. It had been some sort of 'routine' for me to wake Sunggyu up, but I had never done this to Myungsoo or anyone else. Plus, the fact that I had a crush on him made it extremely hard.

“Myungsoo-ah, wake up, it's already late,” I shook him harder this time, but he didn't respond.

I was about to pinch his cheeks when his eyes suddenly shot open. He immediately grabbed both of my wrist. I gasped, fully startled.

“Don't. Don't do that.” He released my wrist, which immediately dropped.

“H-how did you... You weren't sleeping!” I exclaimed and he laughed, showing the sweet dimples on his cheeks.

“Why did you do that?!” I hit him with Sungyeol's pillow.

“I just wanted to see how far you would go,” he said in the middle of his laughter while sitting down. “And it seemed that you were about to do the same old move you always did to Sunggyu,”

I stood up and rolled my eyes. Trying to look pissed off. I didn't know why but somehow, me and Myungsoo had gotten somewhat closer lately, since the time we played cards in the plane with Sungyeol, if I recalled it correctly.

“Well you're a good actor,” I commented silently while rolling my sleeping bag.

He kept quiet and looked at me.

“Nara..” he called carefully.

“Hm?” I held myself from looking at him.

“Are you... mad at me?”

“No, I'm not. What are you talking about?” That was the truth, but it seemed he didn't believe it.

“This is not funny Nara.”

“What is not funny?” I asked, starting to giggle a bit.

“You pretending to get mad at me,”

“I wasn't even mad. How was I supposed to pretend?” I looked at him and he raised one of his eyebrows.

“Whatever,” he mumbled and went out of the villa.

I sighed and shook my head. Yeah, whatever. I was just another person in his life anyway. Why should he care if I was mad or not? After turning our villa from a shipwreck into a pleasant room ( I can't tolerate messy places really), I ped my backpack. I looked out through the window which was partially covered with brown drapes. Perfect. No signs of anyone outside yet. I took out a small blue book- or more likely my personal notebook- out and opened it to the page where I had slipped my pen ( I don't like using bookmarks, they're too thin!) .

I pressed the edge of the pen against my chin and tilted my head, before I started writing:

Date: 14 June 2013

Place: JEJUUU!!!!

We are all weird.

Why did he cry?

Why did I cry?

Why had he not tell the truth?

Why was his voice so beautiful?

Was it his voice?

Why does our heart leaps whenever our crush talks to us?

Or was it just me?

Why is everybody different?

Why can't I have Sora's smart brain?

Or Minjae's beautiful, long hair?

Or maybe Raina's athletic body?

Or Ailee's perfect legs?

What is there for me to offer?

Nothing?

Author's note:

As I promised, I've updated!! ^^

Thank you all for reading this crappy story this far! It really means a lot, especially to those who've been commenting or subscribing. But if you're a silent reader type, I that's fine. Having someone to read this story is already good enough for me :)

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I hope to see your comments soon! ^^

Have a beautiful day!!

See ya! :D