The Beat Goes On

            Sungmin heard a knock on the door and tuned down the volume of the television.  It couldn’t be anyone from the upper dorm because all of them had keys to enter.  So Sungmin stood up and headed for the door, looking through the peephole when he reached it.  To his surprise, it was Shindong.  He quickly unlocked the door and opened it.

            “Hyung!  What brings you by?” Sungmin asked.

            “I came over to see you,” he said.  “May I?”

            Sungmin nodded and stepped aside to let him in, perplexed at seeing him there.  “Of course!”

            Shindong stepped into the dorm and then wrapped his arms around Sungmin.  Sungmin realized that one of the others must have told him everything already and the realization that his hyung had come by to comfort him had his eyes watering almost immediately.

            “You heard,” Sungmin said, hugging him back.

            “I did,” Shindong said, eventually pulling away and looking him over.  “And as I suspected, you look like a mess.”

            “Who called you?  Leeteuk?”

            Shindong shook his head.  “Heechul.”

            Sungmin’s brows furrowed.  “Did he ask you to try to talk me out of dating Saeun?”

            “No,” he said, shaking his head.  “And I wouldn’t have done it if he had.  The choice of what to do is yours to make and whatever you decide to do, I’ll support you one hundred percent.”

            Sungmin ruffled his hair, thinking hard.  “But if he didn’t want you to talk me out of it, what did he want?”

            Shindong tilted his head to the side and took a deep breath.  “He’s worried about you, silly.”  Then he headed down the hall to the kitchen, leaving Sungmin standing there confused.

            “He is?” Sungmin questioned, eventually following his hyung.

            “Probably more than anyone else,” he said, opening up the refrigerator to get a soda.  “But he’s equally upset because he believes you’re ruining all your future happiness just to make others happy.”

            “What do you think?” Sungmin asked.

            “I think that sometimes choices are hard.  On the one hand, you could stay with the person you love most, but you’d end up alienating your whole family from you and potentially receiving a hard time from the press, if they ever found out.  Your own parents might even out you themselves, if they found out.  They’d certainly disown you.”

            Sungmin nodded.

            “But if you marry someone that you don’t love but like well enough to think you could get along with her the rest of your life and still make everyone else happy, is that so terrible?  Who am I to judge?  I haven’t managed even that much in life, to be honest with you.  My own attempt at getting married was a failure and it was mostly because I made it public too soon and then waited too long to actually get married.  At least, if you ask my opinion, that was one of many issues, but maybe one of the worst.  We let the press and my fans have too much time to hound us and it broke us apart, in the end.”

            “I’m sorry if my problems are reminding you of your past relationship.”

            Shindong took a drink of his soda and was silent a moment.  “It’s not your fault if it does.  Love is just kind of screwed up sometimes.  I realize that you probably weren’t making these choices lightly and it reminded me a lot of the past, that’s all.”

            “No, it wasn’t an easy choice to make,” Sungmin said, leaning against the doorframe and looking up at the ceiling.  “I didn’t want to leave Hyukie…but to wait any longer wouldn’t have been right.  And I’ve been hanging out with Saeun a lot lately and finally asked her to officially date me.  We really do get along well and I know she loves me.  She’s a good fit for me.”

            “When do I get to meet her?”

            “You want to?”

            “We all do,” he informed Sungmin.

            “All of you?” Sungmin asked nervously.

            Shindong nodded.  “Perhaps not all of us at once though.  Might be a little awkward with Hyuk, after all.  Maybe just the hyungs.  You could have us all over for dinner or something.”

            “Heechul too?”

            “If you don’t invite him, there will be hell to pay,” Shindong warned. 

            Sungmin winced.  “Yeah.  I’ll check her schedule and arrange a time.”

            Shindong reached over and pat his shoulder.  “In the meantime, get dressed.  We’ll go out and have a few drinks.  Sound good?”

            Sungmin nodded.  “It sounds better than sitting here alone.”

            “Yeah, I would avoid that for a while after a break up with someone you love,” Shindong said, sighing.  “If you ever want to crash at my place, just give me a call.”

            “Henry comes over most of the time.  He’s just out practicing late tonight.”

            “He’s a good kid.  I take it Hyuk hasn’t been back at all.”

            Sungmin shook his head.  “I don’t know where he is.”

            “Donghae’s,” Shindong answered before downing the rest of his soda.  “According to Heechul.”

            Sungmin nodded, keeping tight control of his emotions.  “Let me just change my shirt quick,” Sungmin said, and Shindong waved his hand for Sungmin to proceed.  Sungmin walked over to the bedroom and shut the door, then he leaned back against it.  He stood there for a moment, willing himself not to let his emotions overtake him.

            So, that’s where Hyukjae had been hiding.  But he’d preferred not knowing, to be honest.  He wanted to believe that Hyukjae had gone over to his parent’s house to stay for a while because a part of him became a little jealous whenever he hung out with Donghae.  They were close.  Too close.  Sungmin had never felt entirely comfortable with their friendship, even if it was strictly platonic.  Because it never really looked platonic, after all.  But now Hyukjae was single.  So was Donghae.  And that made him a little uneasy.  Although it shouldn’t.  At least, he didn’t have the right to be jealous anymore.  He’d let Hyukjae go.  But he couldn’t help how he felt and the news ate away at him a little. 

            Yes, he needed a drink or two.

            Yesung laid on his bed, cellphone to his ear, silent as he absorbed what he’d just heard.

            “You still there?” Kyuhyun asked.

            “Yeah,” Yesung said, his voice deep and rough from sleepiness.

            “Kind of a lot to take in, isn’t it?” Kyuhyun said.  “I was feeling pretty pissed off at Sungmin at first, to be honest, but ever since I found out about Hyuk and Hae kissing, I don’t know if it’s really such a bad thing that they broke up after all.  I kind of think Donghae’s better for him than Sungmin is.”

            “They have more in common together,” Yesung agreed.   “But it isn’t fair to put all the blame on Sungmin.  His parents have pressured him into this.  He’s reacting to them and to social pressure.  You have to realize that not everyone is willing to put themselves in your position, Kyu.”

            “If he loved Hyuk as much as I loved Ryeong, he would,” Kyuhyun argued.

            “Clearly he doesn’t then,” Yesung said to appease the youngster, who would never see eye to eye with Sungmin if he felt that he’d truly been in love with Hyukjae.  “His family means more to him than his choice in partner.  I know that this is harder for you to understand because you made the opposite choice, but then again, you never had objecting parents.  Try to put yourself in his shoes