"Are you leaving me because of that bastard you met in your new work? What was his stupid name? Derek? I'll kill him.  I swear." You mumbled as I laid you down on my bed. It was Christmas eve and I was suppose to be on a plane home, but I had missed my flight.

Your fringes were slicked back and wet from the residue of sticky beer. Your clothes were hanging off you as if they belonged to a man twice your size. I was on my way to the cafeteria when I found you laying on the ground faced down mumbling profanities at no one in particular. 

"Kelly. I didn't want to go to Arizona. I shouldn't have left Boston, I shouldn't have left you." You said as your clammy hands blindly reached for my mine. I hadn't said a word since I found you, afraid that you would realize I wasn't Kelly and you would just get up and leave.  "Do you love me?" You said to me with your warm beer breath touching my cheeks. "Do you?" You demanded shaking my hand. 

"Of course, Seungho." I said trying to wiggle my hand out of yours. It was always my dream to be this close to you, but I always imagined that you were sober when you admitted you loved me, and you weren't mumbling my best friend's name. 

"I don't mean to insult you in any way, Kelly.." you said as your eyes began to shutter closed. I couldn't see anything in this dark room except for half of your face that was lit by the street light that shone through my bedroom window.  You woke up startled as I tried to steadily remove my hand from yours. "You're beautiful." You whispered as you pulled me closer and kissed my lips softly.

In your mind Kelly was here in bed, kissing you. In my mind I was kissing you. I wished it was really me you were kissing. 

If I could, I would've kept you in my bed forever, just us laying together. Your arms hooked around my waist and mine around yours. Our breathing in sync as we transitioned into a deep sleep. 

You woke up the next morning apologizing non-stop as I sat there silent as I assessed this situation. I had two choices, I could let you walk out of my life and not remember me, or I could make you remember me forever. I chose to not remain silent anymore. 

"You're Seungho right? I'm Egan, Kelly's friend." With the word Kelly, I saw your eyes light up, I knew I had sparked your interest. You looked into my eyes, and you knew I was on the same boat as you. You wanted to use me to get to Kelly, and I wanted you to use me. We both had two different goals, but I was hoping I could make you change your mind. 

I'm hoping I still can.