The Half-Lie

An American Girl

 

“Hyung…” Hoya started, “is she in trouble, or something?”  He tried to peer back at the front door as Jungryul dragged him into the kitchen.

“No, no, of course not.”  Jungryul shook his head, silently laughing at the thought of Helen being in trouble.  “Just…you need to not worry about those marks.”

“Hyung, they’re all over her arms…”  Hoya spoke in concern.

“I know; I’ve seen them.  But in her line of work-“

“What work does a young girl do that gets her beaten up that badly?!”  Hoya exclaimed rather loudly.

“It’s nothing, Hoya-si, really.  Think of Secret Garden, ok?  You know how that girl is a stunt-double?”  Jungryul looked at Hoya to make sure he understood what he was saying.

“She’s an actress stunt-double?”  Hoya tilted his head in confusion.

“Sort of…well you know how the stunt-double does all the hard, dangerous work while the actress says the lines?”  Hoya nodded.  “Well that’s sort of Helen’s business.  She does the work-“

“And someone else takes the credit for her getting beat up?”  Hoya didn’t believe this; it sounded a little far-fetched.

“Hoya…” Jungryul could sense the disbelief in his tone.  “Just…please understand?”

“Is she here to get away from that…Hyung…why is she here?”  Hoya was getting a reaching in the cupboard to get a glass of water. 

Jungryul watched the young man in all his innocence…dinosaur pajama suit and all.  He battled with his conscious.  Should I tell him?  Would he understand what her real job is?  “Hoya…she’s here because of her job.  She only called me asking for directions but-“ 

“Wait…you actually like…know her know her?”  Hoya accentuated the fact that his manager and this young girl actually had a relationship.

“Yeah…”  Jungryul scratched the back of his head not sure of how much information he should be giving Hoya.  “I suppose I-“

“He raised me as a little girl.”  Helen had entered the house without being heard; she wrapped a skinny arm around Jungryul’s waist and gave him a side hug.  He instinctually kissed the top of her head.  Hoya watched in shock as his manager turned into a loving, caring father right before his eyes.

“This is a little…”  Hoya shook his head.

“I’m sorry about earlier…I should’ve explained.”  Helen bit her bottom lip and for some reason Hoya gulped, hard.

Before he could stop himself he had already approached her and gently took her wrist in his hand.  “I shouldn’t have been so awkward; if you’re in pain because of these we’ve got painkillers.  Do you want some right now?”  He started to walk towards the cupboard.

“Ani, it’s ok, Hoya, really.  They’ll go away in time.”  She smiled but she didn’t move her hand.  She squeezed his softly, smiled a little wider and then pulled back. 

Jungryul couldn’t help but laugh on the inside at this.  “Let’s get you cleaned up and ready for bed, Helen.”  He put a hand on her shoulder.  “And Hoya…”  Hoya’s attention pulled back to his hyung.  “Get out of that suit…please!”  Hoya blushed as Jungryul and Helen turned to leave the kitchen and enter “her” room.  The door closed but not for long as Helen stuck her head around the corner and gave Hoya the thumbs up sign.   He smirked and she closed the door.

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kissme-minseok #1
great job!
LemonPop #2
I think it's great!!!! DragonSalt, you're doing awesome!!!
WhosThere13
#3
Also: I'm guessing that you made Hoya get moody because he was frustrated with her simple and not-completely-the-truth answers, right? Just from a writers and readers perspective, that scene may fit in a bit more if you had hinted at his annoyance building up in previous chapters, or at the beginning of this one, say how he was feeling choked or something because his manager was getting stressed and Helen wasn't saying anything and it was beginning to push him too far. It just seems a little out-of-place that you made him fairly mild mannered so far in the story, but sudden made him short tempered and quick to punching random inanimate objects in this chapter. <br />
Again, I'm trying to say this just on a writers level-sorry if I sound pushy-its just a suggestion. :)<br />
Thank you for updating~!<br />
Also: Sorry I meant Jungryul* in my other review for this chapter >>
WhosThere13
#4
Awwww Hoya, don't get violent-getting annoyed and punching walls is never a good response-plus it doesn't make people want to tell you their secrets anymore then before haha<br />
On another note: HOT DAMN HOYA, LOOK AT YOU GO HAHAHAHA XD I loved how Sungjong totally, completely, and unintentionally, ed Hoya. That was just golden. Plus that little 'making-references-to-their-makeout-and-then-giggling-to-themselves' scene with them and Sungjong and Junryul-maaaade me laugh XD It's nice, cus it shows that Helen didn't mind too much from the semi-forced kisses, and Hoya had managed to cool his temper a bit after the makeout. You also just eased the readers from a more serious and passionate scene to a funnier and lighter one without looking too cheesy or unrealistic (in the sense of the story), so good job~ <br />
To address your concern about the Chapter: This chapter didn't click all the way like the previous ones had, but overall it was pretty good-You don't need to change it-it was suppose to be about Helen informing Hoya about her background, and their little love thing going further, right? Then you did just that, as well as added a little bit of other pieces of the story here and there to act as a buffer so the story wouldn't go too off track. It was a little fast, but there's bound to be a couple of chapters in every story that seemed a little sped up, so don't worry. :)
DragonSalt24
#5
^^ i hope you look forward to finding out more about Hyun - hopefully the twist that's coming up will be an interesting surprise<br />
i'm not sure if the place where i found the information but i actally heard that Jungryul is the name of one of Infinite's managers - i wasn't sure if that's actually true but if it was i wanted to use it to make it more realistic^^<br />
i'm glad you actually noticed the different viewpoints! it's hard for me to explain everything without showing an outsider's opinion on a situation so i'm glad you like that and it doesn't bother you or give away too much information^^<br />
thank you again for the comments! i really enjoy your feedback and it's helping me stay on track with the story i wanted to write originally^^! i hope you still enjoy it after this next chapter
WhosThere13
#6
Hmmm I disliked Hyun before, but now I'm kinda wary of him...<br />
It's different to see that one character you created, Jungryul, is kinda acting as a narrator, but when I say different I mean in a good way. It kinda helps the readers since he views the love triangle from his point of view, unbiased, while with Hoya and Helen, its a bit biased since ones POV is emotional, while the other is more analyzing and on-guard with Hyun and a little unsure with Hoya. (Sorry if that sounded confusing haha)<br />
I also like how with Sungjong and Hyun's relationship, you made the former like the latter and be friendly with him, which I can see him doing in real life XD<br />
Anywhos~Thank you for updating, it was another very-well written chapter :)
DragonSalt24
#7
!!! ahh i'm so thankful!! your feedback makes me very happy!<br />
i hope i've made Hoya more realistic towards how he acts on interviews and on shows, etc.<br />
ha i really can't say thank you enough! <br />
if there's something that comes up in the future that you don't quite agree with or don't like in the story please let me know!^^ and ha, i really appreciate your comment! - it helps me know that i'm doing Something right with the story^^<br />
please enjoy!
WhosThere13
#8
Normally I have the bad habit of being a silent reader and not commenting on stories and subscribing and stuff, but I felt guilty when I realized no one had said anything in Chapter 19-and I had loved it!<br />
Hoya is so freakin' awesome in here, and I love your female lead (she's so badass!)I love your writing-It can be really hard to find someone with such good grammar and spelling here on AF, not to mention a female lead with an actual name rather then ~~~ or something, and one so likeable too.<br />
The interaction between them in Chappie 19 is perfect-I admit when I started reading that page, I was wondering if you were going to add a kiss scene-but the amount of skinship was just right-a kiss would have been too fast and would become awkward and a burden later on in the story :)It was perfect!<br />
I just finished reading Chapter 20-Gaaaaaaah I wanna know if Hoya starts a fight with Hyun (though he'd totally lose XD) It's so goooood!<br />
Thank you for updating! Sorry for not commenting sooner!
DragonSalt24
#9
thanks for the nice comments guys!!^^
LemonPop #10
DragonSalt, i'm just giving you a bad time ;) It's really great!