The Real Introduction - Part 2

An American Girl

 

Helen put two fingers in the air, signaling Hyun to move forward as she took cover behind a wall – her gun pointing at the floor as she clicked the safety mechanism to the “Off” position.  Hyun, in a crouched position, took the lead ahead of her and quickly maneuvered around a corner pointing his own pistol down the hallway.  He nudged his head and Helen moved to the next position.  A locked wooden door was all that separated the pair from completing their mission.  Helen shot the lock and Hyun kicked it open – their movements flowing together in unison.

 Hyun and Helen had been given the mission the morning of the mission by one of the higher-ranked soldiers of Madacorp.  “Here; Boss wishes you luck on a successful mission.”  Hyun and Helen saluted the man before taking the classified folder.  The two found an empty table in the commons area of the main Madacorp base located in the US; Hyun pulled out a chair for Helen and sat next to her.  He set the folder in between them and Helen opened it to sort through the contents.  Most Elites read the file as it had been prepared – scanning through the history of their target before reading the mission description.  However, Hyun and Helen liked to get to business and find out what was needed of them specifically; once they understood the mission they would research the target’s past and would share useful information as they came across it.  It seemed as though this way of working was more efficient and the two covered more information; other Elite teams could never understand why the two operated in this fashion and many simply ignored this odd trait. 

Helen held a paper in her hands and read aloud, “Target: Miranda White.  Age: 20.  Mission Statement: Acquire target.  Status: Hostage.”  She nodded and Hyun picked up a paper in front of him.

“Mission Facts: Target is an informant, has ties with the WHU Firm in England, priority level…4.”  Hyun glanced up at Helen, his lips pouted and he raised his eyebrows.  A level 4 target was considered to be highly valuable.  “Mission Requirement: Target must be kept alive.”  Hyun rolled his eyes, “Why do they even bother wasting the ink on that part?”  He dropped the paper, shaking his head, “I mean seriously – when do we ever kill anyone?!” 

Helen smirked – it was true, though.  Madacorp was a very influential” company known worldwide; killing was not necessary – nor the company’s motto – because Madacorp’s threats were taken very seriously.  Often the mission required Helen and Hyun to fire their issued pistols but never to actually kill.  Ever since the pair finished Basic Training – four years ago – they had been given missions and each requirement boldly stated that their target - no matter which side the target belonged to, the good or the bad – was to be kept alive at all costs. 

Helen whipped around the door frame and into the room, checking the kitchen on her right first while Hyun covered her back and checked the main living room.  A muffled scream could be heard from a behind another closed wooden door.  The pair made no noise as they swiftly made their way down a short hallway and towards the noise.  Another scream – a woman in pain – echoed through the apartment.  Hyun, taking cover with his back against the wall, reached for the doorknob while motioning for Helen to get on the other side of the door, twisted it slowly.  The scream was louder this time as the door pushed open.  Helen raised her weapon and she entered the poorly lit room.  The scene before Helen caused her to gag and Hyun double checked to make sure no one was in the room.  Helen froze, staring at the target – the women she was supposed to save – while Hyun opened the closet doors, pointing his weapon up, down, left and right.  He turned back to see Helen, her arms locked straight and holding the pistol at the ground.  “Hey.”  He called to her, not caring to look at the target.

Hyun’s voice broke Helen out of her frozen state as she approached Miranda.  The smell of urine and dung infiltrated her nose immediately; she looked away, trying to in fresh air before getting any closer.  Helen studied the woman – Miranda was strapped to a metal chair, wires ran up the legs of the chair and lead to small, black nodes on her arms, legs and neck.  Miranda opened and let out a pained gasp; as she did this Helen watched a stream of electricity travel from the wires and attack Miranda.  She screamed in pain; Helen could see bruising and dried blood around the nodes as Miranda writhed in the chair.  Helen looked towards the source of the electricity and saw a small generator underneath Miranda’s chair.  More details became apparent as Helen studied her surroundings.  The chair looked as if it were glued to the ground with black tar – Helen recognized this as a form of sticky gun powder and knew it would detonate if the chair’s contact with the chemical would separate.  The bottom of the metal chair was surrounded in wire fencing and was also hot-wired; Miranda’s legs were bound tightly to this and Helen saw the burns cutting deeply into the woman’s calves.  New smells attacked Helen as she bent down, getting a closer look at the injuries and the home-made bomb – a mixture of dried and fresh blood had begun to pool at Miranda’s ankles.  Helen swallowed, breathing through , trying to get her heart rate to return to normal but the scene before her was nothing she could’ve imagined – she gagged again. 

“What’s the situation, Helen?” he was looking around the room – it was completely empty except for the closet and the set up the people had put Miranda in.  The floor was cold linoleum that had chipped away in large chunks and was rusting everywhere.  The walls were stained dark orange and drips of stale water fell through the cracks in the ceiling. 

“She’s glued to a bomb.  If we lift her or the chair it’ll det.”  Helen rose from her position and approached Miranda, pulling out a flashlight from the strap attached to her left leg.  Her left hip was carrying a soft-case, military-grade medical kit; she slid her pistol into its holster on her right hip.  The gun was still warm as it brushed against her gray jumpsuit.  Helen pointed the light into Miranda’s eyes and watched as one pupil dilated – the other did not.  “She has a concussion.”  Helen spoke aloud, informing Hyun of Miranda’s injuries as she checked for broken bones and other immediate problems.  “If she makes a noise the machine is triggered to shock her - voltage is currently at 10%.  Bruising around jugular vein from electric shock, no sense in fingertips, 3rd degree burns on calves.” Helen’s voice weakened each time she spoke.  Miranda was only a few years older than her; she was stronger than Helen and it was obvious that a girl like her knew how to defend herself.  It scared Helen knowing all of this and she worried that it could’ve been her sitting in that chair and all the training in the world couldn't have protected her.

Hyun approached the two women, putting a hand on Helen’s shoulder.  He knew when Helen was scared; she didn’t need to say anything for him to register her emotions – whether it was across a radio channel or across the room.  This was just another skill the two had learned after being partnered together; it made other teams jealous and silenced others in awe.  Madacorp didn’t always find the “perfect pair” like Helen and Hyun was – they were the rarity in the company whereas most teams had to build a relationship and work out their problems before being given a mission.

Hyun put his body between Helen and Miranda; by breaking their eye contact he knew Helen would calm down and continue with the plan.  It wasn’t as if Helen had never encountered tar-bombs before; she knew how to diffuse them, quickly and more importantly…safely.  Hyun understood the only thing bothering Helen was the target, Miranda.  The two women didn’t have much in common, and usually age didn’t bother Helen, but obviously this time it did and she was shaken up a bit. 

Helen reached up to the small pack Hyun was carrying on his back – it contained many small kits; one of which was remarkably labeled “BOMB” in large black letters on a white cotton fabric stitched into a Kevlar pouch.  She pulled out this kit and set it at Miranda’s feet; Miranda started to fuss and move about, creating even deeper wounds on her calves.  “Hey!” Helen put a hand on Miranda’s knees to try to keep her still.

“Knock it off.” Hyun looked over Helen’s shoulder, letting the tone of his voice suggest how serious the situation was.  But Miranda fussed even more; she jerked around in her seat and Helen could smell burning flesh.  Hyun pushed Helen aside as he grabbed Miranda’s bound wrists and pushed the seat against the floor.  “Ya!” Hyun glared at her, his face inches from Miranda’s.  Helen watched as his jaw muscles clenched together tightly; it didn’t frighten her – nothing Hyun had ever done frightened her – but it helped her realize how “on edge” he was.  He’d found something.

 

Helen shook off the memories flooding her eyesight.  Hyun had finished packing her things and was standing at the open doorway, “Helen?” 

She looked over her shoulder, “Oh.”  The thoughts still remained in her head – thoughts of their mission last year…Miranda.  Helen winced, thinking about the way Miranda’s legs were burned so severely along the electric wire, the bruises from a heavy beating before Hyun and Helen’s arrival.  She turned to face Hyun, “Oppa…?  Why did she have to…how come we couldn’t save her?”

Hyun’s eyes widened at Helen’s random question but he knew exactly what Helen was getting at.  The Miranda Mission hadn’t gone as planned and it was heavily debated between Boss and the council (a group of specially selected officials who give advice and can override orders Boss has requested – they are only informed on high priority missions).  The mission was “discussed” for many days due to its “distressing” nature.  It was clear to many Elites that the Miranda Mission was a complete failure to due to fact that Miranda had died.  However, it was Hyun’s debrief that had caused so much trouble; it had never shocked him that his one statement had made so much trouble.  “It was my decision – I had to choose...I had to choose between Helen’s life…or Miranda’s.  There was no question – Helen.”

It was in this debriefing room that Hyun realized exactly where his loyalties lie – with Helen.  The council began yelling at Hyun for even considering his partner’s survival not to mention believing Helen’s survival was more important than the mission.  But when they said this, it just helped him prove his point.  To the council…and maybe even to Boss…Miranda was just another mission – a benefit for Madacorp; they never even thought of her as a person.  And maybe this was Hyun’s personal fault – thinking of people as people instead of play toys for the company.

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kissme-minseok #1
great job!
LemonPop #2
I think it's great!!!! DragonSalt, you're doing awesome!!!
WhosThere13
#3
Also: I'm guessing that you made Hoya get moody because he was frustrated with her simple and not-completely-the-truth answers, right? Just from a writers and readers perspective, that scene may fit in a bit more if you had hinted at his annoyance building up in previous chapters, or at the beginning of this one, say how he was feeling choked or something because his manager was getting stressed and Helen wasn't saying anything and it was beginning to push him too far. It just seems a little out-of-place that you made him fairly mild mannered so far in the story, but sudden made him short tempered and quick to punching random inanimate objects in this chapter. <br />
Again, I'm trying to say this just on a writers level-sorry if I sound pushy-its just a suggestion. :)<br />
Thank you for updating~!<br />
Also: Sorry I meant Jungryul* in my other review for this chapter >>
WhosThere13
#4
Awwww Hoya, don't get violent-getting annoyed and punching walls is never a good response-plus it doesn't make people want to tell you their secrets anymore then before haha<br />
On another note: HOT DAMN HOYA, LOOK AT YOU GO HAHAHAHA XD I loved how Sungjong totally, completely, and unintentionally, ed Hoya. That was just golden. Plus that little 'making-references-to-their-makeout-and-then-giggling-to-themselves' scene with them and Sungjong and Junryul-maaaade me laugh XD It's nice, cus it shows that Helen didn't mind too much from the semi-forced kisses, and Hoya had managed to cool his temper a bit after the makeout. You also just eased the readers from a more serious and passionate scene to a funnier and lighter one without looking too cheesy or unrealistic (in the sense of the story), so good job~ <br />
To address your concern about the Chapter: This chapter didn't click all the way like the previous ones had, but overall it was pretty good-You don't need to change it-it was suppose to be about Helen informing Hoya about her background, and their little love thing going further, right? Then you did just that, as well as added a little bit of other pieces of the story here and there to act as a buffer so the story wouldn't go too off track. It was a little fast, but there's bound to be a couple of chapters in every story that seemed a little sped up, so don't worry. :)
DragonSalt24
#5
^^ i hope you look forward to finding out more about Hyun - hopefully the twist that's coming up will be an interesting surprise<br />
i'm not sure if the place where i found the information but i actally heard that Jungryul is the name of one of Infinite's managers - i wasn't sure if that's actually true but if it was i wanted to use it to make it more realistic^^<br />
i'm glad you actually noticed the different viewpoints! it's hard for me to explain everything without showing an outsider's opinion on a situation so i'm glad you like that and it doesn't bother you or give away too much information^^<br />
thank you again for the comments! i really enjoy your feedback and it's helping me stay on track with the story i wanted to write originally^^! i hope you still enjoy it after this next chapter
WhosThere13
#6
Hmmm I disliked Hyun before, but now I'm kinda wary of him...<br />
It's different to see that one character you created, Jungryul, is kinda acting as a narrator, but when I say different I mean in a good way. It kinda helps the readers since he views the love triangle from his point of view, unbiased, while with Hoya and Helen, its a bit biased since ones POV is emotional, while the other is more analyzing and on-guard with Hyun and a little unsure with Hoya. (Sorry if that sounded confusing haha)<br />
I also like how with Sungjong and Hyun's relationship, you made the former like the latter and be friendly with him, which I can see him doing in real life XD<br />
Anywhos~Thank you for updating, it was another very-well written chapter :)
DragonSalt24
#7
!!! ahh i'm so thankful!! your feedback makes me very happy!<br />
i hope i've made Hoya more realistic towards how he acts on interviews and on shows, etc.<br />
ha i really can't say thank you enough! <br />
if there's something that comes up in the future that you don't quite agree with or don't like in the story please let me know!^^ and ha, i really appreciate your comment! - it helps me know that i'm doing Something right with the story^^<br />
please enjoy!
WhosThere13
#8
Normally I have the bad habit of being a silent reader and not commenting on stories and subscribing and stuff, but I felt guilty when I realized no one had said anything in Chapter 19-and I had loved it!<br />
Hoya is so freakin' awesome in here, and I love your female lead (she's so badass!)I love your writing-It can be really hard to find someone with such good grammar and spelling here on AF, not to mention a female lead with an actual name rather then ~~~ or something, and one so likeable too.<br />
The interaction between them in Chappie 19 is perfect-I admit when I started reading that page, I was wondering if you were going to add a kiss scene-but the amount of skinship was just right-a kiss would have been too fast and would become awkward and a burden later on in the story :)It was perfect!<br />
I just finished reading Chapter 20-Gaaaaaaah I wanna know if Hoya starts a fight with Hyun (though he'd totally lose XD) It's so goooood!<br />
Thank you for updating! Sorry for not commenting sooner!
DragonSalt24
#9
thanks for the nice comments guys!!^^
LemonPop #10
DragonSalt, i'm just giving you a bad time ;) It's really great!