The Decision

An American Girl

 

Jungryul watched her for a few moments before realizing he’d left Infinite in the van.  “Should I bring the boys up now?  Do you think you’re settled?”  He asked Helen.  It had worried him, a first, bringing a nineteen year old girl into an all boys dorm especially one as pretty as Helen.  Yes, she was an American girl, not something the boys were used to seeing everyday on the television but no matter who you were she looked absolutely stunning.  It was probably the red hair that really set her apart; it was long and crazy as it drifted down her back into a “V” shape.  Because it could be unruly she always had a hair tie and pin on hand; whenever she became serious about something her hair would go up and her face would become more serious.  However, when her hair was down she was just another young woman…an American woman in Seoul, Korea.  Otherwise her body shape was very similar to any other Korean woman.  Her “v-line” face, small waist, toned legs and stomach were all very close to “perfect”; however she had upper-body strength and even though she hid it beneath her clothes well, Jungryul knew she had skill (in Taekwondo) and that’s what made him more “at ease” with letting her stay in the dorm.

“If you really think they’ll be alright with me staying here for a day then sure; if not let me just use the phonebook and I can find a good hotel.”  Helen tried to offer one last time.

“Ya!  How could this “appa” just send you out into the bustling streets of the Seoul nightlife when you barely remember your way around here?”  Jungryul accidentally accentuated the term “appa” as both knew she was not his real daughter nor was he her real father.  It stung Jungryul to say it sarcastically, but Helen never flinched; she was used to her predicament and she had accepted it many years ago.  He started to apologize but she raised her hands up in the air, stopping him.

“Go get them; they’re probably already awake anyways.”  She motioned for him to leave as she smiled.  When she did this, though, Jungryul looked at her arms and then at her legs.  Her t-shirt and shorts had left this skin exposed and then he saw her bruises.  His jaw fell ajar and his eyes widened at the sight; he couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed it before.  Helen had a large scar on her left kneecap that she had gained during her time with Jungryul but there were many new marks that still had fresh blood on them.  Her arms were bruised in random areas and as he stepped closer could see the dirt infecting deep cuts on her elbows.  He grabbed her wrist as she winced in slight pain; her shoulder was still in pain from the fight and was taking a long time to heal. 

“What the…Helen…is this from…”  She lightly tugged her hand away from his grip, grimacing while she did so. 

“I’ll clean up.”  She turned her back to him and began scrubbing her wounds in the sink.  He could see the diluted blood run off of her fingertips and onto the drain; she turned around to see that Jungryul was still standing in the opening, frozen.  “It’s ok, Appa.”  Her voice was so convincing and so was her smile.

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kissme-minseok #1
great job!
LemonPop #2
I think it's great!!!! DragonSalt, you're doing awesome!!!
WhosThere13
#3
Also: I'm guessing that you made Hoya get moody because he was frustrated with her simple and not-completely-the-truth answers, right? Just from a writers and readers perspective, that scene may fit in a bit more if you had hinted at his annoyance building up in previous chapters, or at the beginning of this one, say how he was feeling choked or something because his manager was getting stressed and Helen wasn't saying anything and it was beginning to push him too far. It just seems a little out-of-place that you made him fairly mild mannered so far in the story, but sudden made him short tempered and quick to punching random inanimate objects in this chapter. <br />
Again, I'm trying to say this just on a writers level-sorry if I sound pushy-its just a suggestion. :)<br />
Thank you for updating~!<br />
Also: Sorry I meant Jungryul* in my other review for this chapter >>
WhosThere13
#4
Awwww Hoya, don't get violent-getting annoyed and punching walls is never a good response-plus it doesn't make people want to tell you their secrets anymore then before haha<br />
On another note: HOT DAMN HOYA, LOOK AT YOU GO HAHAHAHA XD I loved how Sungjong totally, completely, and unintentionally, ed Hoya. That was just golden. Plus that little 'making-references-to-their-makeout-and-then-giggling-to-themselves' scene with them and Sungjong and Junryul-maaaade me laugh XD It's nice, cus it shows that Helen didn't mind too much from the semi-forced kisses, and Hoya had managed to cool his temper a bit after the makeout. You also just eased the readers from a more serious and passionate scene to a funnier and lighter one without looking too cheesy or unrealistic (in the sense of the story), so good job~ <br />
To address your concern about the Chapter: This chapter didn't click all the way like the previous ones had, but overall it was pretty good-You don't need to change it-it was suppose to be about Helen informing Hoya about her background, and their little love thing going further, right? Then you did just that, as well as added a little bit of other pieces of the story here and there to act as a buffer so the story wouldn't go too off track. It was a little fast, but there's bound to be a couple of chapters in every story that seemed a little sped up, so don't worry. :)
DragonSalt24
#5
^^ i hope you look forward to finding out more about Hyun - hopefully the twist that's coming up will be an interesting surprise<br />
i'm not sure if the place where i found the information but i actally heard that Jungryul is the name of one of Infinite's managers - i wasn't sure if that's actually true but if it was i wanted to use it to make it more realistic^^<br />
i'm glad you actually noticed the different viewpoints! it's hard for me to explain everything without showing an outsider's opinion on a situation so i'm glad you like that and it doesn't bother you or give away too much information^^<br />
thank you again for the comments! i really enjoy your feedback and it's helping me stay on track with the story i wanted to write originally^^! i hope you still enjoy it after this next chapter
WhosThere13
#6
Hmmm I disliked Hyun before, but now I'm kinda wary of him...<br />
It's different to see that one character you created, Jungryul, is kinda acting as a narrator, but when I say different I mean in a good way. It kinda helps the readers since he views the love triangle from his point of view, unbiased, while with Hoya and Helen, its a bit biased since ones POV is emotional, while the other is more analyzing and on-guard with Hyun and a little unsure with Hoya. (Sorry if that sounded confusing haha)<br />
I also like how with Sungjong and Hyun's relationship, you made the former like the latter and be friendly with him, which I can see him doing in real life XD<br />
Anywhos~Thank you for updating, it was another very-well written chapter :)
DragonSalt24
#7
!!! ahh i'm so thankful!! your feedback makes me very happy!<br />
i hope i've made Hoya more realistic towards how he acts on interviews and on shows, etc.<br />
ha i really can't say thank you enough! <br />
if there's something that comes up in the future that you don't quite agree with or don't like in the story please let me know!^^ and ha, i really appreciate your comment! - it helps me know that i'm doing Something right with the story^^<br />
please enjoy!
WhosThere13
#8
Normally I have the bad habit of being a silent reader and not commenting on stories and subscribing and stuff, but I felt guilty when I realized no one had said anything in Chapter 19-and I had loved it!<br />
Hoya is so freakin' awesome in here, and I love your female lead (she's so badass!)I love your writing-It can be really hard to find someone with such good grammar and spelling here on AF, not to mention a female lead with an actual name rather then ~~~ or something, and one so likeable too.<br />
The interaction between them in Chappie 19 is perfect-I admit when I started reading that page, I was wondering if you were going to add a kiss scene-but the amount of skinship was just right-a kiss would have been too fast and would become awkward and a burden later on in the story :)It was perfect!<br />
I just finished reading Chapter 20-Gaaaaaaah I wanna know if Hoya starts a fight with Hyun (though he'd totally lose XD) It's so goooood!<br />
Thank you for updating! Sorry for not commenting sooner!
DragonSalt24
#9
thanks for the nice comments guys!!^^
LemonPop #10
DragonSalt, i'm just giving you a bad time ;) It's really great!