Chapter 24

Goodbye

Thunder struck for the last time as the day went on. The rain was slowly calming down, making its sound almost mute. Just like outside, there was barely any sound across the whole mansion. Each of the boys were doing there own thing, not even noticing the lady leaving their home, holding onto a backpack.

Back in the training room, G.O was getting himself back into shape, finding a way of venting his frustration and anguish all into hitting on a punching bag. For the past two to three hours, that's all he's been doing. The meeting from this morning got so tense once he laid his eyes on Cheondung, his anger was slowly coming back to him. The pictures she drew were haunting him, which only made his blood boil higher and higher. With every hit, those pictures were dancing in his mind, as they were coming to life, transforming his anger into rage; his throws becoming stronger and closer into breaking the instrument.

The one thing that broke his heart the most in all of this was the fact that the one he sees as his little sister has a broken heart. The days were she wasn't smiling nor having that small sparkle of happiness in her eyes was all because of him. He knew from the night of the masquerade that he wouldn't back off. He couldn't hold onto his promise and he was angry at himself for not being there when she was needing someone the most.

Blaming himself that he should've known better, that there was something more than simply saving her life from their enemies, but the only thing that was missing was to protect her heart from getting hurt.

The tears escaped with the hitting becoming more violent. His mind tricks got the better of him and with a last blow, he stumbled back, an angry grunt escaping his lips as he fell on the floor along with the punching bag. He laid there for a moment, catching his breath with a simple thought: redeeming himself. Now that he knew the truth, he wasn't going to let his little sister near him anymore.

"I failed once… I can't let it happen again"

He sat up and clumsily ran his fingers through his hair. He brought his legs to his chest, casually resting his elbows on his knees.

"Hyung?"

He turned around and saw Mir walking in, taking a seat next to him.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing… I was just looking for you"

"Do you know where Seonya is?"

"Hmm, I think she is in her bedroom, why?"

"Nothing, just wanted to know"

The younger one looked at his friend, noticing his tired state and assuming that he went to far, once again, in his training. He understood that things have gone down between him and Cheondung and all because of Seonyul, and yet, he couldn't grasp the detail that was missing to the puzzle, the reason why G.O was so angry. To him, they both have feelings for each other, but somehow, Cheondung came and ruined the picture. "Hyung?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you have… feelings for Noona?

G.O turned his head to him, completely shocked by his question. Joon was supposed to be the dense one, not him. He chuckled and shook his head seeing the little one with a worried expression on his face. "I don't have romantic feelings for her, but I do love her. Why do you ask?"

"Does she love you?"

"Like a brother, but nothing more I promise." He gave him a reassuring smile with a pat on the back as he got up from the floor picking up his bottle of water. "Then what was yesterday about?"

"Yesterday was about Cheondung using Seonya for his personal game."

His eyes widen in shock to hear those words coming out of his friend's mouth. No time was needed to process the sentence, it hit him straight to the heart. "Wh- what?"

"That bastard used her and broke her heart. I don't know why he did it, but she's the one that is suffering and he'll pay for it."

"Broke her… Do you mean?"

"Exactly. He's not going to change Cheolyong-ah. He's cruel and likes to inflict pain wherever he goes. Like it isn't enough we had to endure his stupid attitude for the past three years, we have to deal with the fact that he has to hurt the people who are happy?! He just had to crush her spirit and take her away from us!"

He kicked the punching bag that was lying on the floor through his rage creeping up in his system. He took several deep breath trying to calm himself down but it was becoming to hard. One glance at Mir and all his anger washed away. He noticed a slight fear in his eyes thinking that he must've scared him just now. "Sorry."

"It's okay."

"Mir. We need to keep her away from him. I can't stand to look at her and see her broken. Last night almost killed me seeing her like this. She's in pain because of him and it's hurting me." Mir didn't know how to respond to this and didn't have to since G.O left, telling him that he was getting himself cleaned up. "Keep your eyes on Cheondung. Don't let him out of your sight."

With that he closed the door with Mir left behind, processing everything he just heard. He fell back on the floor, his mixed up feelings getting stronger and all piled up at once, pushing him to the verge of tears. He hastily wiped the away once he felt them stain his cheeks, constantly thinking about her, making his heart ache as it strongly kept pounding against his chest.

"Seonya Noona… why him?"

Without much clearance from the sun during the day, it was already nighttime and the moon was perfectly visible in the sky.

Only then would disturbance would cut through all of them.

"Seonya? Are you there?"

G.O slowly opened the door to her bedroom thinking that she might have fallen asleep since he didn't hear anything, but once he saw her empty bed, anxiety and panic were beating up his heart at a faster pace.

"S-Seonya?"

He turned the lights on, giving himself a better view. He took a proper look around the room and found something on her bed that caught his eyes. He walked closer and picked up the small piece of paper. A quick look and only words were written. He was starting to get even more scared that whatever was written on that paper was what he has been thinking for a while. That she has left.

If you are reading this that means that I may well have left your home.

I want to thank all of you so much for what you did. You guys were ready to risk your lives to simply protect someone like me when it wasn't even your job to do so in the first place.

I felt a sudden burden from living here for to long and now that everything is over, there isn't really a reason for me to stay anymore, so I decided to leave. I couldn't bear to say my goodbyes to you because of what happened yesterday so I simply decided to write them here.

When all of this started, I really hated you guys which made me push each one of you further away because I hated how my life turned out. But with time, I got to accept my fate and tried to enjoy my stay here. You did your best to make me feel at home and I couldn't be anymore grateful. Even though, there were rough stops along the way, you guys didn't stop helping me getting through this.

Especially to you both: Cheolyong & Byunghee.

From the beginning, even on the first day we met, you both stuck by me and stood by my side. I pushed you away and you still came back even though I kept my distance. Even though this isn't how I imagined my life to be, I'm glad I was able to be with you guys. You both mean the world to me and if it wasn't for you, Cheolyong-ah, I think I would've lost you both, but you kept coming back, hoping that I would feel better and thanks to you, I do.

Byunghee. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. When yesterday happened, I felt like my world was falling apart. From all the people, I was afraid for you to find out about my secret the most, because somehow I knew that something bad would've happened if you ever did.

And for a second I thought I lost you for good.

I will never understand why I can't love you like I want to even though you're the one I feel comfortable and safe with whenever you're around but it is what it is and I have to deal with that.

Don’t ever think that I don't need you. Off course I want you to protect me, I'll always want to be protected by my older brother, someone who can take care of me like you do.

Don't blame yourself for what happened. It's my fault. It's only mine and nobody else's. Remember that. Please.

And to you Cheolyong-ah, I want you to keep that smile on your face. We're only one year apart but sometimes I feel like you're older than me by being caring and acting like the tough one when I know it isn't really you. I'm sorry for leaving you like this without a proper goodbye, but I thought it would be best not to create another scene. But don't worry, we'll meet again, I promise. I just need a break, a really big one.

I'll be back. I don't know when, but I know I will see you guys again.

Lots of love

- Seonya

P.S - Take care of Balto for me, please. I know that despite the sudden change, he grew to love your place and especially the company

As he read the last words of her letter, he could his hand slowly tremble. He held onto his tears trying to keep himself from breaking down. He read the letter over and over again, hoping that each time the content would be different. That it would be anything but a goodbye.

The main door of the mansion opened revealing Cheondung in drenched clothes. From head to toe, he was soaked as he spent his day under the rain, completely ignoring everything around him.

He climbed up the stairs and walked into his room, softly closing the door behind him. Without giving much of a look around him, he undressed himself as he walked to his bathroom, leaving a trail of clothes behind him.

A quick warm shower without anything disturbing him until he founds himself standing in front of his bed, familiar drawings piled up on his bed sheets.

He picked it up and looked through them, only seeing her drawings from their intimate time together. The last paper was a letter addressed to him. He took a seat at the edge of his bed, letting his mind wander to what she wrote to him.

Cheondung.

If you're reading this now, it means that I left.

I know this because I saw you leave this morning. You seemed angry about something.

You're probably wondering why I even bothered of writing you a letter when we don't even get along with each other, and to tell you the truth, I don't even know myself.

I'm not going to lie but you did hurt me. A lot.

I've never felt so much pain coming from one single person in my whole life but somehow you managed to make me want to stay by your side, because I know that it was unintentional.

From the moment I looked in your eyes, on that night, I knew that something was wrong. All I saw was pain and sorrow. I didn't know why and I'm still clueless, but one thing I knew is that I wanted to change that. I wanted to help you get out of whatever was holding you back.

And clearly I failed.

But all this aside, I still don't understand why you went after me when you could have any women for you.

That kiss on the night of the masquerade. Why did you even bother doing it?

Did you know that it was my first kiss?

I was never even touched by a man until you, and it haunts me every day. Not because I wanted to cherish that memory of my first time, but because you simply didn't care if I was feeling pain or pleasure. I was happy the way I was living my life and somehow, despite the fact that I was being chased out of my own home, you're the one that brought everything down.

The worse part is… I can't stop thinking about it.

Every single thought of you makes my heart pound even louder and I hate myself for it because I know you don't feel the same. I don't know why I fell for you but I did and I can't stand it.

I don't feel loved by you, I feel hated and its becoming to much for me to handle.

You're lonely and I get that. I know how it feels, but its not a reason to push people away when they are reaching out to you. You can't live the rest of your life like you're doing now. Nobody is meant to live in this world alone. Not even you.

I'm giving you those sketches to make you remember of our nights together. By looking at them, I hope you can see the pain I went through by simply putting me where you did. Through hell.

I'm telling you all of this, trying to vent my anger to you and I know that from tomorrow I won't stop thinking about you. About how you made me feel wanted even though it wasn't how I dreamt it would be.

It's twisted, I know but that's how I feel.

I hope you'll get better even though it’s a long shot.

I cried for you Doongha, can't you do the same for me? Can't you tell me that you love me too so I can at least know that you simply wanted to be with me all this time despite how things were between us?

Byunghee hates you for what you did to me and I can't blame him, because at one point, I hated you too, but this hate turned into something else and it only made me wanting to help you even more, because I know that the real you is somewhere inside. Behind all that hate and anger, there's someone who is afraid of being alone and is only crying out so that someone can hear him and I did. But you still pushed me away.

I don't know for how long I'll be gone, but once I come back, can you look up for me? I'll be waiting.

- Seonya

He huffed out somehow annoyed about what he just read and places the papers on his night stand. He simply wasn't in the mood to deal with her drama.

"YAH! PARK CHEONDUNG!"

The loud knocking on his door made him slightly jump as he stood up and rushed to his door. Opening it, he saw an angry G.O pushing him hard which almost made him stumble backwards.

"YAH! What's your problem!"

"You're my problem! Damn it!" G.O went further towards him and pushed him once again which was slowly starting to make Cheondung mad too.

"It's all your damn fault! You couldn't keep to yourself like you always do?! You had to go after her?!" At last, he finally hit him right in the face sending Cheondung on the floor. He quickly got up and jumped on the older one, hitting him back. He didn't understand why he was so angry, but looking at him, he couldn't help himself to see how far he would be willing to hurt him simply for a girl like her.

"I guess she wasn't able to find any pleasure from you so she came to me, is that why you're so angry?"

"BASTARD!" G.O jumped right back at him, making him fall on the floor as he gripped onto his collar, punching him without a stop. Cheondung was able to grab him and turn him around, hitting him right back, blood dripping from both of their faces. G.O kicked him straight in the stomach, sending the other one back on the floor and both of them got up on their feet.

"Why did you even do it?!"

"I felt like it. And anyways, what is it to you? Why are you so angry to know that we slept together? Do you love her by any chance? Or did she cheat on you with me? No, forget about it, I don't want to know, it's not going to stop me from doing it again, and again, and again and -"

His sentence got caught off from another punch by G.O, his anger getting the better of him.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! WHY HER?!"

"I found myself someone to play with, deal with it"

"You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Answering me like that"

"I don't know, you tell me"

"What the hell happened to you? You're such a pain to be with, I don't even know why I bothered for the past three years." He breathed out, giving up the fight and his anger. "I though it was only a phase, because you lost your sister, and I get that, believe me, but its no reason to become so cruel and disgusting. I hate you Cheondung-ah. I really do. I don't even have the heart to try with you anymore."

He fixed himself and walked out of the room, closing the door shut behind him.

The only thing left behind was a broken man. Physically and emotionally. Both of his hands turned into fists as he tried to control his anger. But all that was left were tears. One by one they were silently falling, staining his bruised cheeks, until he found himself falling on his knees, softly crying out for comfort.

Next: Confession of a Broken Heart