I silently followed Seung Hyun around, bowing politely to whomever we passed by in the corridors and saw in the rooms. It was a beautiful building, complete with studios, a cafeteria, sitting rooms and offices, the complete functional set for a leading entertainment company. I could only smile in admiration. It’s an amazing company to be a part of.

“Pretty cool,” I commented as I saw their albums and pictures displayed on LED screens or framed on walls. It was like a tribute, an acknowledgement of sorts that these boys were the ones that built this name and helped set the bricks on these walls.

“Right? It took us ages to get those designs.”

“Not just the albums… everything is amazing. It almost seems unreal to me. Haven’t you ever had the thought that one day you’ll blink and realise it had all been a dream?”

“You mean my career?” he asked. I nodded in response. We had just walked by the giant windows which spanned the front-left side of the building, making our way back to the elevator and towards Ji Yong’s studio.

“No, this is real,” he said. “But you, on the other hand, sometimes I feel like one day you’ll disappear from me.” We both stopped in our tracks and looked at each other.

“Why would I disappear?”

“I don’t know. You tell me. Where will you be after Nara gets better… or if she doesn’t? When everything is over, where will you be?” I pried my gaze away from him and kept walking towards those closed silver doors, wishing that they would open soon and take me away from this situation.

“What floor?” I asked him. Seung Hyun just pressed the down button for me and I managed to continue my silence. The elevator doors opened in front of us and we walked inside, carrying in an air of tension with us. That sour atmosphere got brought into the recording studio where I plonked myself on the black leather sofa which lined the back and Seung Hyun immediately sat near the table in front with Chae Rin.

“Let’s hear it,” he said. I could see Ji Yong and Chae Rin give each other glances and tried my best to smile when they peered my way, but the damage was already obvious. This is exactly what I was afraid of, us bringing out our problems and putting it on display for everyone. We couldn’t even pretend to be civil. The both of us are all or nothing type of people, either we loved each other like crazy or we put an icy wall in between us. Anything in between kept us frustrated and impatient, and boy right now were we in between.

The electronic beats started to blast through the speakers and I could feel the vibrations coming through the floor. Ji Yong started to say an obscure melody to go over the beats which Seung Hyun added on to with a little bit of beat box. It was impossible to not look at them, to bear witness to their creative process.

“Oh, that’s good, that’s good,” Ji Yong said, excitedly.

“Let’s mix up the beat a little then.”

“Like this?” The both of them came up to the main computer and started tweaking this and that, letting little stray beats escape from the speakers from time to time as they tested things out.

“They’ve just started their tour and their making something already?” I asked, leaning over towards Chae RIn. “Don’t they ever rest?”

“Unni, they can’t stop. Ji Yong oppa especially, if he’s in the zone, he’s in the zone.”

“Clearly…” I muttered as I peered over at them, resting my head on my hands. “When are you girls coming out with something?”

“We’re about to,” she said. “Keep a look out unni.” I smiled and couldn’t contain my excitement.

“An album?”

“Not sure, but definitely a tour.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“I’ll send you tickets.”

“THAT’S IT!!” Seung Hyun suddenly screamed. “Play it, play it, play it.” I heard a new and upgraded version of the same beat, complete with a crowd chant. What made me suddenly grin was when Seung Hyun suddenly broke out in a dance complete with hip ing and hand flailing in the middle of it all. We all cracked up laughing at the live comedy in front of us.

“Oppa!” Chae Rin cried. Seung Hyun passed out on the couch next to me and leaned his head on my shoulder trying to gather his breath.

“Ohh, G-Dragon! It’s good!” he said to Ji Yong.

“Hyung why is it that you’re moves never got old?”

“They’re timeless that’s why.”

“You told me they’re universal, relates to people of all ages and races,” I added.

“It definitely crosses generations,” he agreed.

“Nuna, you need to teach him something usable.”

“Hey, if years of training did him nothing what do you expect me to do?”

“Make miracles,” Ji Yong said. I grimaced.

“Maybe I should start with a prayer.”

I don’t know when it happened, I just realised it long after it did. Nara’s day out in Hongdae had finished and we were leaving the studio to pick her up when I felt the tug on my hand and those familiar fingers in mine. How long had we been holding hands for? Seung Hyun was still talking and cracking jokes to them two along with Teddy who had joined us an hour later, oblivious to it all. It was me that looked at our entwined hands completely dumbfounded at the fact that I didn’t realise it in those hours we spent inside.

“Let’s go,” he said. I waved goodbye to everyone and we walked together back towards the elevator.

“Look,” I said, motioning to our hands.

“Oh? You couldn’t keep yourself away from me could you?” Seung Hyun smirked and just held my hands tighter, bringing it to his chest.

“Hey, people might be looking.”

“Just a little longer. I’ll let you go once we’re outside.” I let him do as he wanted, even letting myself lovingly fix his hair while we were in that steel box. At this moment, when we both had a taste of such a sweet moment, a moment that could be part of a better future, I couldn’t help but let my guard down.

“I love you,” I said.

“I know. But that’s not enough for you, is it?” The door’s opened up at the carpark level with a ‘ding’ and as he said, he let me go. We walked separately and silently back into the van while I kept mumbling silently to myself. This can’t go on, it’s killing the both of us.

An unwelcome tension settled in between us after Seung Hyun's words. As patient as he was, the frustration at not knowing what he could say or what he could do to convince me was expected. I was frustrated with myself to be honest. I silently thanked Nara when she entered the van, basically so the attention would shift from 'us' to 'her'. That's who we fawned over when it became three.

"The food's here!" I called when the bell rang in Seung Hyun's apartment. We decided to spend another night here, a particularly lazy one, which involved board games, take-out and maybe a movie or two. The delivery man put down three orders of jajangmyun along with some sweet and sour pork on the living room table and left as quickly as he came, with a grunt of thanks as I gave him the money. I guess he was having a tough a day as I was.

"I'm starving," Nara said as she came out of the room having washed up and changed her clothes. "Where's oppa?"

"In the other room."

"I'll call him out."

"Wait, Nara. I think he's on the phone. Just let him be." She looked at me a little confused but then sat back down on the couch and grabbed the remote to turn on the television.

"Why are you two being weird?" she asked over the sound of another evil rant by some pissed-off ahumma in a television drama.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you're acting weird around each other. Like, being super polite and not fun."

"I'm always polite," I said as I opened the wrapping of the food and prepared the table.

"You know what I mean." I was wondering whether to tell her or not, but I realised if not my baby sister, who else?

"He wants me to be with him," I explained.

"REALLY!?!?" Nara basically screamed, her eyes almost popping out of her head. I jumped over and covered , not wanting her to bring the house down.

"Yes, really."

"Unni, that's so good. My god, finally someone tells me something." I caught onto her last comment and immediately felt guilty. Nara was right, it's what everyone around her was doing this whole time, treating her like a fragile being. I was the one the one that did her the most wrong.

"So what's the problem?" she asked.

"The problem is... I don't think I'm ready."

"But you love oppa?"

"...Yeah." It's the first time I've told anyone. Nara beamed.

"Then just be together. What's so hard about it? Isn't that what people who love each other do?" I blinked a couple of times. That's true. Everything Nara said was simple and true, it's the way things should be. But then you grow up and end up adding 'buts' and 'what ifs' and you turn out like me, confused, unmoving and stubborn as a mule.

"Unni..." she continued, still mindlessly watching the show. "I know you came back for me, but it's okay to stop worrying about me now. Do what makes you happy." I froze in the middle of breaking my chopsticks in half. Immediately, a wash of grief and sadness came over me. I forgot about it momentarily. Seung Hyun and this beautiful day made me and Nara forget about it, but reality crashed onto me like a giant wave with her words. It was the first time Nara has ever said anything close to goodbye. She's never done that before.

"Y-Yeah," I stammered. I continued what I was doing silently as Nara leisurely followed along with her drama, laughing to herself. My head had already gone into its dark and lonely corner. Quietly, I put the chopsticks down and walked away from her towards Seung Hyun's bedroom. I must've been so out of it, I didn't realise I passed by him in the corridor. He had to grab me by the arm before he got my attention.

"Hey, did you hear me? Is the food here?" he asked. I nodded absentmindedly. "Where are you going?"

"Bedroom," I murmured.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

"No you're not," he said. "What is it?"

"I'm fine Seung Hyun," I told him, trying to pull myself away from him.

"Shin Ae."

"Seung Hyun!" I cried, and immediately softened my voice as I saw his hurt expression. "Please..." I pushed him away and walked inside, closing the door behind me. As soon as I feel it click close behind me I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, one that was staggering. Another long and deep breath and another exhale. It calmed me down, just a little bit. Aiming to distract myself I walked around Seung Hyun's bedroom, looking at his bits and pieces of art on the shelves then went to make up his bed which had been tousled aroud from my sleep-in. The light of the moon was trying to fight its way inside, so I drew the sheer curtains and stood near the window, basking in its glow.

Nara's come to terms with it, I realised. Her frantic and panicked state from last night had all but dissipated and now she was calm, she seemed to have found peace with her choice and that wasn't right. It wasn't the least bit right. She should be crying out at the world for being unfair and she should be fighting tooth and nail for her life. It wasn't the time to settle. It wasn't the time to have peace. 

"Shin Ae," Seung Hyun said, knocking on the door after a while. I didn't have a chance to reply before he sauntered in, a worried look on his face. Nara trailed in behind him.

"Unni..." she started.

"Oh, the food's getting cold isn't it?" I realised.

"Forget about the food," Seung Hyun said. "I think there's more important things than that right now." I stared at him. He was giving me the opportunity to speak, to convince Nara. I had all this drive to change her mind, but suddenly I didn't know how to start. I didn't know what words to begin with, scared that if I said the wrong thing she wouldn't listen and close up instead. I looked back and forth from Seung Hyun to Nara and back again, my lips trembling with anxiety.

"I'm sorry if I upset you..." Nara said. She was the one who broke the silence, who said the first honest words. Sometimes I think she's older than me, like she's cultivated a wisdom beyond her age. I see her standing there, her left hand nervously gripping her right arm, waiting for me to respond. Say something simple and say something true, I thought. I crossed the floor, closing the space between us and engulfed her in my arms.

"Nara, I lied. I don't want you to give up," I told her. "I want you to keep fighting for your life."

"I know," she replied, and hugged me in return. "But I'm okay. It's okay like this."

"It should never be okay," I said. "Don't settle for this. Don't give up, please."

"Unni, I'm okay. I'm really okay. I just want to be happy." I closed my eyes and sighed. I didn't realise Seung Hyun had left the both of us alone until I let go of her. Some things only a sister, someone of your flesh and blood, can tell you and he knew not to get in the way of that. He's done he's part, he's lifted me off the ground and got me running.

"When I was in the sixth grade, I didn't really have to think about much," I said, sitting on the bed. Her hand was still in mine as she looked down at me, awaiting what I had to say. "I mean I had to study, but I thought of the cool books I read, hanging out with friends at the mall... it was fun. It was easy."

"It really hasn't changed much from what you've told me."

"I thought so," I shrugged, laughing. "But what I mean is that right now it seems insignificant, and it's only once you've gone through numerous small, unimportant periods of your life you'll realise that you've actually gone through one amazing and priceless journey, filled with ups and downs and a whole bunch of miracles in between." Nara's eyes grew red, and I'm guessing so were mine. I squeezed her hand.

"And Nara," I continued. "I love you too much to let you fall short of such an adventure." My heart broke as her tears fell. Preciously, I held her in my arms and let her cry like the small child she deserved to be. Her sorrow must have been heard from beyond the room as soon Seung Hyun walked in, clearly concerned. Seeing us sobbing in each other's arms, Seung Hyun kneeled near the bed and let Nara cry on his shoulder as he her hair.

"We're all here for you. We all love you," he reminded her. 

AN: Feeling like doing a lot a writing after a crazy long day of work. Enjoy and thanks =).