Seung Hyun watched me from the kitchen as I closed his bedroom door behind me, leaving Nara inside in peace after she had finally calmed down enough to let herself close her eyes and sleep. On the granite bench top were two red mugs with steam rising as Seung Hyun poured tea into them from an ornate pot made out red glass that was embossed with delicate, geometric patterns. I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms as I watched him from across the counter preparing our late night beverage and mouthed a 'Thank You' as he handed one over to me. I could smell the black tea infused with vanilla and some honey and immediately sighed as I took a sip. Seung Hyun walked over to his armchair and sat down. He leaned forward though, not exactly ready to relax and wind down, using his knees and elbows to support the weight of his body. I remained where I was, beside my sturdy wall, standing.

"Have you told your dad?" he asked me. I nodded.

"I told him that Nara was safe, and she needs some time."

"How did he take it?"

"Not well."

"I guess it's to be expected. I'll give him a call tomorrow morning and explain."

"Really, Seung Hyun, you don't need to do that. You don't need to talk to him."

"Right now you're in my house, so you're under my care. It's what I should do," he said. I didn't bother arguing, at this stage he was probably the better person to reason with my dad than I was. I used my free hand to sweep my hair back and took another sip of my drink.

"You still remember what I like," I said nostalgically.

"I remember your preferences were rather similar to that of the elderly," he joked, smiling. "But now scents like these remind me of you. I've grown to look for them." I nodded, took another sip and tried to ignore the strange tension that started to dissipate through the air. There he went again, telling me that he was still here, he still thought of me, he still loved me as if it was the most natural thing in the world. To him, words from the heart came out so easily. It made me envy him.

"Nara said she doesn't want to do the operation. She said that I shouldn't take any more days away from the little she had left," I explained quietly, not ready to face Seung Hyun and his heart broken expression. I the rim of my cup cautiously. "So I'm not."

"I thought that surgery was going to cure her."

"They say it's not worth it. It's dangerous." I heard rather than saw Seung Hyun put his cup on the table beside him, which was followed by a long exhale. It's grave news to take in.

"And you said okay," he repeated. "You said okay to her giving up."

"Seung Hyun, that's not fair," I replied.

"No, it isn't. But it's the truth."

"I'm trying to give her some authority over her life."

"You're letting her die."

"That's not true."

"Well in a couple of months she will be."

"Seung Hyun!" I cried, gripping the cup in my hand for fear of letting it fall and break on his floor. How could he be so harsh with his words?

"You can hide it behind any kind of excuse Shin Ae but the truth is you're letting her give up."

"I have no choice!" My voice was raised and we both glanced back at the closed bedroom door wishing it didn't go through. My eyes glazed over. "I have no choice..."

"Don't you understand Shin Ae? She'll find peace for now, for a few weeks or months, but Nara doesn't realise what she's giving up in return for a few happy moments."

"Do you know how hard it is to accept that you have an expiry date over your head? She's twelve Seung Hyun and she's accepted it. I'm not going to move up the time line."

"We don't know is she's going to die."

"But we don't know if she's going to live! I have a small amount of time left with my sister Seung Hyun. Please don't cut that time any shorter... I beg you. Don't make me do this. Don't..." I pleaded, shaking my head. "I can't do it... I can't..."

Seung Hyun sat there, looking at me, looking at the ghost of the girl that I once was standing in front of him on the verge of collapse. Her voice was weak and desperate, her face tired and distraught, but all he could do was look as she tried to stand on her own two feet and slowly make her way through the dark times that life could bring. Yet it was in that fragility that he saw her feelings. She simply wanted to lessen the pain of her loved ones, make them happy, whatever the cost.

I continued to stand with wobbly knees to show him I was determined to follow through on Nara's last wish and returned his gaze to show him my strong will. He rubbed his face with his hands, exasperated and probably feeling as helpless as I was, then looked at me with what I could only describe as weary eyes. Slowly he stretched out his right arm and motioned at me with his hands.

"Come here."

"I'm alright."

"No, you're not. You can barely stand. Come here." I paused and slowly walked over, then cautiously reached out to hold his outstretched hand with mine. He took my cup away from me, putting it beside his on the glass coffee table and then pulled me in closer. I know this. I've been comforted by it for a long time. This was the place where I felt safe and I felt protected; in his arms. I tried to sell myself reasons to stop.

"Just let me hold you, okay? Let's just stop for a second and let me hold you," Seung Hyun said. Carefully, I sat on his lap like a small child, my legs tucked close to my body. Our hands were still entwined, and rested myself against him, my head on the crook of his neck. His strong hands surrounded me, holding my waist firmly, and the familiar motions of his thumb circling the skin on my hips slowly began to soothe my heart. What's time got on this priceless feeling?

We sat in silence the both of us. I looked at the dwindling orange lights of the city sprawled on the window to his right and let myself be carried away by this warmth. Seung Hyun's voice took over them, it came with the deep vibrations from his chest which I had nestled into.

"Shin Ae."

"Mm."

"Why did you come back to Korea?"

"... To save her."

"It's hard isn't it?" I didn't bother replying. Reliving the difficulties was not something I was keen on. "But Shin Ae, you can't give up, not yet."

I closed my eyes to his words and felt my heart squeeze in pain. I was pained because what Seung Hyun said was true, but the torture of having to fight an uphill batle was excruciating.

"I'm too tired," I whispered. "I'm so tired."

"It's alright to be tired. It's alright to get hurt, fall down, but you need to dust yourself off and get right back up again and continue to fight," he told me gently. "But Shin Ae, when it gets too tough, when you feel like you can't take it any longer, just... lean on me a little. I'll be there, I'll catch you,I'll help you get back up on your feet. I'll be the one to stay strong for you so that you can say strong for Nara."

"Seung Hyun..."

"Then maybe, maybe it might make those hard times just a little more bearable." With each and every promise he made I could feel my eyes begin to water. No one understands the priceless value of having someone saying that they'll be there until they do and they mean it. That's what he had promised me when he first wanted to come back into my life, he wanted me to stop being alone.

"Like this?" I wondered.

"Just like this," he confirmed.

"I don't understand. Why? Why do you still want me? Want this? Nothing good has happened since I've come back. I've brought you heartache, drama and pain in a span of a couple of months. But why are you still here? Why am I here?"

"It's easy for me. It's because I believe in love and I believe in family. Shin Ae you're both for me."

Family. It was the stuff of dreams and distant memory for me. The three of us were a family back then, a bond between us that was closer than that in that building I called home. It reminded me a little of the fragments of memory I had of my mum. I had such a short amount of time with her before she died, but that time remained in my memory clear as day because it came with a priceless feeling of being loved and belonging. A feeling that only returned when I was with Seung Hyun and Nara. That highest form of bliss.

"I loved you so much then," I remembered.

"I still love you." I didn't know what to say after that and Seung Hyun seemed content with my silence. He didn't force me to do anything, say anything, not since I told him I needed some time. All he wanted me to know now was that he was here, right by me, whenever I needed him. Just trust him again Shin Ae. Just trust him. When I'm in his arms right now, it's hard not to trust him with everything that I have.

It was as if he heard the turmoil in my head, Seung Hyun touched my hair and kissed it. I couldn't take it anymore. At this point I was ready to surrender.

"I'm going to bed," I said, not even daring to look into his eyes. I got off him before he could convince me otherwise.

"Shin Ae, I'm sorry. I'm sorry," he said, standing up. "Old habits die hard."

"Yeah, they do. Which is why every cell in my body wants to stay with you, here, and forget everything."

"Then stay," Seung Hyun said.

"Give me a reason to stay, because all I know right now is that once I decide to hold your hand again, once I decide to give you my heart, somewhere down the line you're going to break me. You're going to realise that this 'love' of ours is too difficult, too hard and then you're going to leave me."

"I would never."

"You already did."

"Shin Ae, we were young. It was much too long ago. It's different now."

"Young? Young enough to love and trust and build dreams together? It may have been long for you, but I remember every feeling, every thought, every word as if it were yesterday. And I remember you left."

"I gave you a future."

"You gave me nothing! I was nothing without you," I told him. Why didn't he understand? He could cover it up in words like self-sacrifice or doing the right thing, but he took away the only thing that I wanted and needed. Him.

"You think I could live without you then?" he asked me, pain in his eyes. "You think it didn't hurt me every day that I woke up for seven years not knowing where you were, not hearing your voice, seeing your face and feeling you against me? I hated it. It was torture. I thought I was in hell. I'd live for a moment with the members, with the staff, with the music and then it would all stop and then I'd realise I'm still there, barely breathing."

"Then why did you do it?"

"I told you."

"For my sake? Seeing me like this... seeing us like this now... do you still think that? Do you think I wanted this?"

"It wasn't about what you wanted."

"No, it was about what you thought was best. Just you," I said. I closed my eyes. There was a pounding in my head and a ringing in my ears, as if my body was ready to give from overload. This was just too much for me. I've had enough. "I'm done."

"What?"

"I. Am. Done."

"Shin Ae, stop."

"There's nothing more for me here."

"Wait, please." I shook my head and turned to walk away from all of this. Maybe it was panic or maybe it was desperation, but he quickly grabbed my hand and flung me back around again, and he refused to let go.

"Don't..." he begged. The dizzying pounding of my head increased and I closed my eyes to keep my sanity. I have to get out of here, now. Slowly I tried to twist my hand away from his, but Seung Hyun just grabbed it even harder.

"Let go," I said. He didn't listen so I tried to walk away again, and in an effort that made me gasp I saw him drop to his knees in front of me and hold onto my waist, locking me in with his arms. My watery eyes turned into fallen tears.

"Get up," I told him. He shouldn't be on his knees to me, to anyone. Someone like him who was a beacon of light, a dreamer and an artist didn't belong there. I was pained that I had reason to put him there. "Please, Seung Hyun, get up."

"I can't lose you."

"Get up!" I cried, pleading with him. The ringing in my ears increased. I did everything I could, hit his shoulder, pull him with my arms but he didn't budge. "Please, I'm not worthy of this. Seung Hyun, it's not worth it."

"You are worth it."

"Stop it! Stop it!" I gripped his arms and shook them. "Just stop!"I hit him again and again, repetitively, crying for him to stop holding on until I realised that the reason for my aggression had blurred. I wasn't just wanting to get out of there, to get him to stand up. No, now it was just my frustration and anger taking over. My frustrations at him, at Nara, at myself and this unbearable pain in my head. I took it all out on him, screaming and hitting until I was all out of breath. Until my hands were stinging and my eyes were blinded by my tears, until it was my weak body that forced me to stop.

"Stop it..." I sobbed, quietly, one last time and then my hands fell to my side, my knees buckled and I fell to the floor in front of him. Seung Hyun took it all in, every cry and hit. Then when I fell to the floor, as promised, he was there to catch me.

"I've got you," he told me. Gently, he wiped my tears away and moved back my hair from my face, lovingly and tenderly while I tried to choke back down whatever sadness I had left inside.

"Shh, shh," he whispered. He held onto me, rubbing my back to calm me down.

"I-" I couldn't say anything, my chest was still heaving.

"Shh, it's okay."

"No, I-"

"I know, I know." Seung Hyun kept me in his arms, soothing me slowly, whispering calm words in my ear as the last of my emotions came down in small tears.

"...Don't leave me," I finally managed to say. I felt him hold me tighter, and I gripped his shirt in return.

"Never again."

And the pain in my head, the deafening sound in my ears stopped. For once, it was peaceful.

AN: Enjoy and thanks again lovelies! xxx