Soosica Journey as Parents - Oneshot Collection
Oh My Gukkie Review GalleryStory Link - Soosica Journey as Parents - Oneshot Collection
Ti t l e 4 / 5
De s c r i p t i on & Fo r e w o r d 17 / 20
Ap p e a r a n c e 8 / 10
Pl o t 18 / 20
F l ow 8 / 10
Wr i t ing S t y le 13 / 15
S p e l l in g , G r a m m a r , P u n c t u a t i o n 15 / 20
O v e r a l l 83 / 1 0 0
- It's very unique. Though, I believe that 'Soosica Journey as Parents - Oneshot Collection' should be 'Soosica's Journey as Parents - Oneshot Collection'.
Description&Foreword: 17/20
- Description: Since it is a one-shot collection, I won't go too harsh. You basically just put the main points of what would go on in the story. I enjoyed that. 8/10
- Foreword: I liked how you linked every oneshot with the characters and description. 9/10
Appearance: 8/10
- I like the plot. I haven't read many Sooyoung x Jessica fanfics about being parents of three before. I just hoped that you would explain Jessica's pregnancy. It left me with many questions. "Did she get inseminated for the third baby? Were the first two adopted?" And many more.
- I feel, like Seohyun grew up too fast?
- There was a lot of dialogue in your story. Italicizing and changing the colors every time someone talked made the story a little easy to read, but it was also very distracting. I liked how you put the colors of the people talking at the top of every chapter. Your text spacing also changed in chapter six. I think that you should have kept the spacing the same for each chapter.
Spelling, Grammar, & Punctuation: 15/20
I understand that English is not your first language. I am very picky with proper spelling, grammar, and punctuation, though.
1) "With a tired sigh, she pressed her finger tips to her temples, rubbing at upcoming headache."
1) "With a tired sigh, she pressed her finger tips to her temples, rubbing at 'the/her/an' upcoming headache."
2) She didn't take any madication while pregnant cause she never felt safe about it.
2) She didn't take any 'medication' while 'she was/being' pregnant 'because/'cause' she never felt safe about it.
3) Sooyoung 'assured' her wife, as she 'runs' her long and slender fingers through Jessica's blonde hair.
Your sentence changed from past tense to present tense.
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