Sweet Touches

Ti t l e 5 / 5

De s c r i p t i on & Fo  r e w o r d 15 / 20
Ap p e a r a n c e 5 / 10
Pl o t 18 / 20
F l ow 10 / 10
Wr  i t ing S t y le 8 / 15
S p e l l in g , G r a m m a r , P u n   c t u a t i o n 10 / 20
O v e r a l l 7 1 / 1 0 0

Title: 5/5
The title actually matches the story well. It's short and simple which kind of allures people to read it.

Description&Foreword: 15/20
- Description: It's pretty plain and simple. But I feel like it kind of gives off the impression of a story. Other than that, it doesn't really spike my interest.
- Foreword: I like how you kind of broke down the elements of the story in the foreword, but again, not really alluring.

Appearance: 5/10

I like the picture that you chose but I think a nice poster and background would be nice rather than seeing all white. It doesn't really catch my eye and make me want to read the story.

Plot: 18/20
The plot is pretty forward and simple since it's a oneshot. There's not much plot to it but I still like it.

Flow: 10/10

I like the flow of this story. There aren't too many scene changes which makes it easier to read and follow along

Writing Style: 8/15

Your writing style is good. It's just the grammar and punctuation that's bringing the mark down.

Spelling, Grammar, Punctuation: 10/20
Spelling - Your spelling is fine.

Grammar - There are certain parts that are gramatically wrong. You should also take care to stay in one tense the entire story.
"car was not any colder than outsides heat." should be "The car was not any colder than the outside's heat."
You also have some run on sentences.
"It was such a relief when they reached their rooms in a hotel, the air-conditioner and took off all the make up that was suffocating their skin." should be "It was such a relief when their reached their rooms in the hotel. They the airconditioner and took off all of the make up that was suffocating their skin."
"After all of them took a shower and ate, they laid down for a nap for a few hours." should be "After they all took a shower and ate, they laid down for a nap for a few hours."
To make it better, it should be, "After they all took a shower and ate, they decided to take a nap for a few hours."
"No matter how much Himchan liked their stay here in America, he would grader oversleep the rest of the day than go out again." should be "No matter how much Himchan liked their stay here in America, he would greatly sleep the rest of the day rather than go out again."
"no matter how much it's hot" should be "no matter how hot it is"
"Himchan was sleeping" should be "Himchan slept" since you're in past tense.
"His heavy eyelids opened up lazily", "Luckily there weren't any second-blinding lights on", and "The blinds had been drawn... etc" should all be three different sentences.
I could go on but there's WAY too much to correct.

Punctuation
There are way too many run on sentences make it uninteresting to read.

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Sweet Touches

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