Amber's POV

Mia touched my shoulder and whispered in my ear ''Good luck'' before she jogged back into the house.

I cleared my throat and walked slowly towards Chanyeol, who was looking down at the ground. I can see his lower lip stuck in between his teeth and his hands playing with each other, I know he is nervous. When Chanyeol is nervous, that's the only thing he does.

When I stand still in front of him, I sigh ''should I talk first?'' I asked lowly.

Chanyeol looked up and nodded. I could see confusion in his eyes. ''Please'' he answered.

I nodded and motioned him to follow me. Being honest, I'm in shock with myself. I am taking this with such a calm that is surprising me in a lot of ways. Yesterday I was freaking out because I didn't want him to find out about my feelings, and now I honestly don't give a crap. How could I have changed so fast?

Me and Chanyeol walked side by side without saying a word. He was looking up at the sky as if trying to find the answers there. ''It's a beautiful day huh?'' I ask.

Chanyeol nods ''It sure is.'' he stops walking and turned towards me ''when were you planning on telling me?'' he blurted out.

My eyes widened and I backed a way. I've never seen him like this. His eyes were wide and the vein on the side of his neck was visible.

''I wasn't sure.'' I answered honestly. I wasn't planning on telling him any time soon.

''Why did you help me with your sister this whole time when it was killing you on the inside Amber? How could you hide it? Why didn't you tell me!?' he said grabbing my shoulders ''I was hurting you and you acted like nothing was wrong. Why didn't you stop me?''

I could see tears building up in his eyes, revealing the anger he had inside. Why is he so mad when I was the one that was suffering this whole time? ''Because I know how much you like Mia''

Chanyeol chuckled and dropped my arms ''Don't you dare to use that excuse. Do you know how much it hurts me that you hid this from me? How am I supposed to control the pain of knowing that I have been hurting one of the people that I appreciate the most in my life for years?''

I  stayed silent.

I don't want to say anything because I don't want to make this thing worse. I looked up at Chanyeol and saw him looking down at me intensely as if waiting for an answer. He, more than me, knows that I will not be able to answer. There is nothing that I can say. I ed up, I know that. I know that I should have told him about my feelings but I was a coward.

''Amber.. why did you fall in love with me even if you knew that I liked your sister?'' he asked

''because you are the first boy that I liked that didn't feel disgusted towards me''

Chanyeol's chin almost hit the floor. I could see sympathy in his eyes and that hurt me the most. I don't want sympathy from him.. now I will be the poor-lonely-girl-that-nobody-loved.

''Amber..'' he said reaching his hand towards me.

I shook my head and moved his hand away ''I don't need sympathy from you Chanyeol. I don't want you to be with me because you feel sorry for me. I want you to be with me because you found a part in your heart that likes me and want's to be with me''

Chanyeol stayed quiet and didn't say anything. I turned around and started walking towards my house. The sun was setting down and it was starting to get windy. It's supposed to rain a lot so I better get home as soon as I could.

When I got home, Mia and Yunho were sitting down at the couch. Mia ran towards me but Yunho stayed on the couch without looking at me. I ignored him and turned towards Mia who was anxiously waiting for me to tell her everything that happened. I shook my head lightly and her face fell ''I'm sorry'' she whispered.

I sighed and walked pass her towards my room. I locked my self inside and started crying my emotions out. Every little tear that I kept inside of me all this years finally broke free and covered my face, showing how weak and stupid I am.

Sobs left my lips expressing the pain of my soul and there was nothing I could do to hide it. I held my face on the palms of my hands and just continued to cry. Chanyeol must be thinking how pathetic I am. A girl that nobody loved and nobody wanted to be with. How pathetic does that sound?

I felt my phone vibrate on my pocket and I took it out. The screen said Baekhyun but I just ignored it. I'm sorry Baekhyun but I don't want to talk to anybody right now.

~.~

I woke up feeling like . The pillows were soaked with tears and opening my eyes was the hardest task that moment. Rubbing my eyes, I stand up and walk towards the bathroom. I see myself in the mirror and frown in disgust. My face is swollen, my hair is a mess and there was a wet tissue stuck in my hair. How stupid.

I took my clothes off and walked inside the shower. I sat down and opened the water and just allowed to flow rapidly along my body. This felt so damn good. The memories of what happened yesterday rushed through my head and I just groaned. I don't want to think about it anymore. I know that for some people I might have over reacted, but I'm the type of person that hates sympathy.

When chanyeol reached for me yesterday, that wasn't him. That was sympathy. Long ago, I was beaten up by the worse person that could ever exist in my life, Jessica. She and her friends beat everything out of me leaving me with a broken rib and nose. When they left me bleeding, cold and alone I was found by the principal of my school. He took me to the hospital and told everybody what happened.

He said that they should take care of me and don't allow me to be by myself. After that everything got worse, People started gossiping that I was an attention seeker, that I was having with the principal and that's why he asked the the teachers to never leave me by myself and protect me  and that everything I wanted was sympathy so I could get whatever I wanted.

Since then I have always hated sympathy. I can't stand being surrounded by it.

It makes me feel useless

~.~

My phone has been ringing all day. Calls from Baekhyun, Yunho and Chanyeol have been bothering me all day long. I received a text and I looked at it. It was from Baekhyun.

It said:

Please answer me.

I know what happened.

Please call me as soon as you can

Love

Baekhyun.

I turned my phone off and threw it across the room, not caring if it broke or not. I walked towards the kitchen and grabbed a bowl full of ice cream. I dropped about 5 table spoons on the bowl and walked back into the living. When I was about to sit down, the doorbell ran loudly through out the house. I put the bowl down and walked towards the door wondering who it is.

I opened the door and there was Baekhyun.

''Why haven't you answered my calls?'' asked Baekhyun pushing the door open and walking in.

I sighed ''sure Baekhyun, you can come in''

Baekhyun ignored my comment and sat down where I was sitting down. He grabbed the bowl of ice cream and pointed at it ''is this what you have been eating all day?''

I rolled my eyes and saw down next to him ''what do you want?'' I said looking at the tv. A marathon of my favorite show was on and I honestly didn't want Baekhyun here. I love him but right now I just want to be alone with my two partners in sadness, Ice cream and my TV show.

''I wanted to see how you were doing?'' he said placing his hand on my shoulder.

Sympathy alert.

I slapped his hand off and shook my head ''I'm fine. Don't worry about me'' I lied.

Baekhyun knows I'm lying, but he doesn't say anything ''You know..Chanyeol hasn't been himself all day. He has been distracted and he made countless mistakes on today's performance''

''He's probably tired.'' I answered.

''You know more than me that he has been thinking about what happened yesterday. I've never seen him like this Amber. I think he is finally realizing that he might like you'' he said rising his voice a little bit.

I chuckled and grabbed a spoon full of ice cream and ate it ''He is just feeling sympathy towards me. That's all'' I said with my mouth full ''I told him that he was the only boy that I liked that didn't feel repulsed towards me..'' I swallowed ''It's nothing''

Baekhyun shook his head ''you need to stop being to hard-headed Amber. Start thinking positively.'' Said Baekhyun standing up ''I have to go and visit my mother. I will come back tomorrow night. Take care Amber'' he said kissing my cheek and walking out the door.

Like I've told him before..

how can I think positively if almost everything in my life

has been negative.

~.~

It's been 1 month and 2 weeks since the accident happened. I've seen the boys, except Chanyeol, a couple of times but I never held a long conversation with them. They've been doing well and I'm happy for them. They are still on their vacation so they have been spending more time with their families.

''Where's Chanyeol'' I ask Kai as he plays on his phone next to me. I was sitting down in front of my house and he saw me through his window and decided to come down and be with my for a while. The only people that know about what happened that night are only me, Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Mia and Yunho. Nobody else.

''He should be here anytime soon. Hey Amber it's getting late. I should go to sleep since I have to meet with the SM choreographer to make up some dance steps for a new band coming soon'' he said putting his phone on his pocket.

I nodded and waved ''night night Kai''

Kai waved and jogged towards his house.

I looked up at the sky and smiled to myself. It's a calm night. There were a few clouds but they didn't cover the whole night sky. The moon was hiding behind one cloud and some stars shone bright.

I do miss Chanyeol. His smile, his eyes, his funny ways and just being around him. I rather have him talk endlessly about Mia than not having him here at all. If that night wouldn't have happened, I wouldn't been avoiding him like I am now. I'm embarrassed to face him now. I'm scared that If I see him, his beautiful eyes would be filled with sympathy.

When I was about to walk inside my house, I heard a car park in front of Exo's house. I turned around and saw a Chanyeol run out of his car towards me.

My eyes widened, as he placed his hands on my shoulders ''please don't avoid me.''

I nodded slowly and waited for him to turn off his car and walk towards me. He stood in front of my for a couple of seconds before he started speaking ''During this month,I've been feeling that something in me was missing. I felt the urge to pick up my phone and call that person but I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it because I was afraid. I was afraid of what was going to happen next''

I blinked a couple of times, confused, but he continued ''During this month that I haven't been around you I've been missing you with all my might. I asked myself every single day 'I wonder what Amber is doing right now?' or 'Does she miss me?'. I realized how much you meant to me but I shook it off because I was so used to me trying to get your sister to like me even though my feelings fo her decreased over the years.''

''The person that I truly liked all this time was you. Without noticing, I started to ask for your help continuously about your sister but what I wanted to do was to be with you. Amber, you know me more than I know my self and you know that what I'm saying is true. I don't want Mia or another girl, I want you because through out this month that you haven't been around, I was dying on the inside. I realized that if I lost you, I wouldn't know what to do. The one that I love is you''

The words got stuck on my throat and I couldn't say anything. I know that Chanyeol is telling the truth because I can see that sparkle in his eyes that are begging me to accept his feelings.

Chanyeol waited for a couple of seconds, allowing my body to process everything that is happening right this moment.

After a while I finally reacted. I smiled and walked towards him. I hugged him tightly and he hugged me back. This is the moment that I've been waiting for years. The moment that I dreamed of every night. Everything is perfect.

Chanyeol broke the hug and placed his hand on my right cheek. I stared at his eyes and I could see his eyes shining like I haven't seen them before.

Chanyeol smiled before he slowly leaned towards me and kissed my lips slowly and passionately.

I could feel my knees weaken

My mind exploding with joy

and my heart beating with delight as everything that I ever wanted finally came true.