They say I don’t care, that my heart is worthless as it cannot be given to anyone. But no one knows the truth about me…

For years the public has been cast upon my spell, falling for the alter ego built from my imagination and perfected for all to see, for I am known as the evil maknae.

I laugh when my hyungs make mistakes…which they frequently do.

I hit them when they act like fools, whether intentional or not…which either way, they frequently are.

I say what’s on my mind no matter how much it may astonish the hyungs…which it usually does.

I see no age difference between my hyungs and I…which when you think about it, there is none.

I smirk at the world which I hold in the palms of my hands.

…because that is precisely and simply “me”.

As an individual enamoured in the world of games, I soon found myself tumbling into a realm of my own with a character that was too hard to escape. I was an expert at playing it, levelling it up faster than I’d ever thought possible. I was addicted to it, losing myself in the cloak belonging to someone else --that slowly but surely wrapped itself around me in a way that felt too good to take off.

I don’t remember when it began…my fascination and dedication to this evil character of mine. But I remember the feeling of grasping onto that hand as it pulled me away from who I truly am. Back then, I didn’t know the reason why…

I never really believed in the idea of regrets. I’ve always figured that when one decides to do something, it is because there is an underlying reasoning for it too trivial for us to truly understand. We should live our life to the utmost levels of our hearts content...no ifs or buts.

But I questioned my analogy of that every time my eyes found its way to her.

Her name is Choi Sooyoung and the truth is, I don’t know how to act in front of her.

She stands a few feet away from me. Hair roughly tousled up in a bun, donning an enlarged navy tee, straight light washed jeans, and a pair of old school sneakers upon her feet, she remains to hold the title of a natural beauty with pure justice. Like a pearl hidden beneath the dark waves of the ocean, her eyes continue to sparkle despite being hidden from the frames of her reading glasses.

Her body sways along with the wind as she glides down the street from across. I roll my window down from the passenger seat of the car as my eyes examine her effortless moves. A small smile graces my face as I see her lips curl up from the sight of a blue butterfly encircling around her. I wonder how lovely it must be to have been that insect, blessed with the ability to not only be mere inches away from her presence, but also being able to make the day shine even brighter from her smiles.

“Kyuhyun-ssi!!!”

Her voice calls out to me from the lonely bright morning, a tone delicate yet confident at the same time…a voice so alluring that only belongs to her. Easily she calls out my name and each rare time she does so, my heart flutters a tad bit more than the last. Through accustomed instinct, my body flinches at her call and I immediately slump in my seat to the best of my ability.

“Kyuhyun-ssi! I can still see youu~”

My driver to the left stares at me as his eyes wanders from