'Cause I want it now 
I want it now 
Give me your heart and your soul 
And I'm breaking out 
I'm breaking out 
Last chance to lose control 

It's holding me, morphing me 
And forcing me to strive 
To be endlessly cold within 
And dreaming I'm alive

(Muse-Hysteria)

Months ago, I was a cutter, and nothing can stop me. That weird sensation from the cuts healed my numbness. It's like I could forget my pain. Call me crazy, but no one can understand my feeling. I won't do that anymore now, but at that time, it's the only method to release my anxiety and my fear. My loneliness. 

"What are you staring at?" Andrew nudged me.

"Ani, just thinking about my ‘Dark’ time."

"Thanks God it's already passed. It freaked me out seeing your hands at that moment. I think you were committing suicide. Promise me you won't do that anymore!" And he gave me a hug.

"I promise you I won't. Btw are you going out today? You promise me you'll accompany me to Loco's showcase, right?"

"Sorry babe, got to the sudden meeting now. I'll pick you after, okay? Don't mad at me please." Who can resist when he acted all cute.

"Fine, I’ll call Irene to pick me up then." 

"Okay.Gotta go now. Later babe."

Because I often hung out with my buddies, I got to meet a lot of people from YG Ent, like Jiyoung oppa, Yang Gaeng oppa, Lydia (Lydia Paek) unnie, etc. Eveytime Jiyoung oppa saw me, his first word would be  when will I come to their company. I often wonder how i will develop into different character if I move to YG, but it scares me to think I got to leave my JYP Nation family. I know they can't promote me any better, but still this is my root. I think I won't change my company soon.

"Yah Lee Min Young. Space out again, huh?" I felt someone call my name.

"Ani, just thinking. Have we arrived yet?" I asked Irene who's driving me today.

"Yup, wow, got some crowd here. That's Lydia and the gang. We should be hurry!" She pulled my hand while i'm troubling with my seatbelt.

"Yah! Don't rush me. I still in my seatbelt."

"Hahaha... sorry mate. I want to see Gray's oppa."

"Gray? Who's he?"

"He's a friend. I'll introduce to you later."

"Okay." I got hugged as soon as I was out of the car.

"Min! I miss you girl!" Lydia unnie hugged and kissed me in my cheek.

"Whoo unnie. Calm down. I can't breathe." 

"Hahaha... I thought you're not coming today, cause I heard the socialite have a meeting today."

"Yup, that's why Irene picks me up today. So, what's new? You won't be this happy if you don't have something to tell me."

"Ah, you know me too well. Well, I got to meet my members soon."

"Your members, you mean the Quest (Quest Crew, winner of ABDC season 3)?"

"Yup! I miss them so much!"

"As much as i miss you darling." Someone hugged me from behind. Marshall (Marshall Bang)!

"Marshall darling, we're in public." We're good buddy, but still it's Korea. Woman doesn't  hugged by man at public.

"I know I know. Gotta come inside now, you folks. The showcase almost starts."

The showcase was great. We got to see lots of indie singers perform. But still, the star of today was Loco. Their performance was DOPE! Later I knew the one who're performing with them was someone called Gray. He's the one Irene talked before. He's so nice and sweet. As they finished their performance, we decided to hang out together.

"How come i never meet you before?" Gray asked me as we walk to the cafe.

"I just start to hang out with them lately, so it's possible."

"Ah so, no wonder. So, when will you have come back? It's been months, right?"

"Well, since my maknae busy shoots the serial, we probably won't have comeback soon. Wae?"

"Nah, it's just I like to see you perform."

"Thanks btw. I..." My phone rings." I have to answer it, sorry."

"It's okay." It's Andrew. He told me he couldn't pick me up today because they haven't finished their meeting.

"What's wrong babe?" Irene asked me who calls me.

"Andrew. He said he can't pick me up today."

"Ah really, too bad I got to go fitting for next show. Probably Marshall can take you home."

"How about if I take you home later, you're live at Geumho-dong right?" Gray offered me his ride.

"Yup. How can you know?"

"I often see you at your neighbourhood. I live near there too."

"Well okay if it's doesn't hassle you. Thanks btw."

"Never mind." And then he sent me home after the gathering.  Never I realized it's the start of something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=exDRr0QUbyk