It just wasn’t fair.

Ok, maybe that was over exaggerating, but still!

Kim Himchan was being ridiculous, as usual. How had he expected you not to end up developing feelings for one of his band members? Not only were they all extremely good looking, but they all had amazing personalities that made them fun to be around. “Remember, they’re off limits,” Himchan had warned you before he let you meet all the boys. Honestly, you hadn’t expected to like the boys as much as you do. You thought everything you knew about them was all just from the media to make them look good, but they were just as nice as the media showed.

You’ve grown close to all of them since the first meeting. You’re especially close to Youngjae. The two of you talk to each other often, and you guys actually talk about anything and everything. You’ve heard the guys, aside from Himchan of course,  teasing Youngjae about how close you two are, although they’d deny it any time you were around.

As much as you want to laugh about some of the jokes that are made when you were present, you couldn’t do so wholeheartedly. You truly want to have that kind of relationship with Youngjae...but you’re not sure he feels the same way, and your brother would not be pleased. Anytime you brought Youngjae up, even just casually without even thinking about it, your brother would remind you that he didn’t want you dating a member of B.A.P.

Sure, you understood his logic behind it. He didn’t want something to happen in the relationship that would make it awkward for him to talk to whatever member you dated because it was his job to be around that person and they were his friend. Regardless, it just wasn’t fair.

Youngjae is downright the sweetest guy you know, and people who work for TS Entertainment even thought you two were dating! The more you think about it, the more you know you have to talk to Himchan whether he likes it or not. Besides, even if you do talk to him there was no guarantee you would actually date Youngjae, you just want Himchan to know how you feel...even if he probably already knows. With that in mind, you decide to for a plan on how to talk to your brother, who, quite conveniently, you were going to visit tonight since he hasn’t been around much due to the preparation for the comeback and he would be on tour soon.

It’s 5:00 pm when you knock on the B.A.P dorm door and hear the murmur of voices before the door swings open to reveal Himchan standing before you with a wide smile. “Well hello there little sister, come in,” he steps aside allowing you entrance so you step inside. Once your shoes are off, you walk farther into the room to see the other five males putting on jackets.

“Hey, where are you guys going?” you question.

“We’re all going out to dinner so you two can have some sibling time together without these four interrupting,” Yongguk chuckles.

“Oh, that makes sense,” you nod before getting hugs from each of them. Youngjae is the last person to hug you, and his hug is the longest as well as the tightest as though he doesn’t want to let you go. You dismiss it as your imagination as soon as he’s out the door, leaving you and Himchan alone to talk.

Out of respect, you allow Himchan to tell you about what he’s been up to before you make commentary on what he’s told you. By the time that’s done, the two of you stop to eat before Himchan asks you about what you’ve been up to.

This is it, this is your chance.

“Well, I’ve been good, not much has changed about my life...but there’s something I want to talk to you about and I want you to hear me out, okay?”

“Ok, is everything alright? You sound upset,” Himchan says, brotherly concern lacing his voice.

“Everything’s fine, don’t worry,” you assure him before taking a deep breath: it’s now or never. “Oppa, I have feelings for someone, and I know you’re not going to be too pleased when I tell you who I have feelings for, but I do and I don’t want to hide anything from you. You probably already know, but I like Youngjae.”

Himchan opens his mouth to speak but you continue.

“I know you said that the members are off limits, but Youngjae makes me really happy and he’s really sweet. I understand why you wouldn’t want me to date him, but he’s a sweet guy. He treats your fans well, and he makes the effort to talk to me when I have the chance. Youngjae wouldn’t do anything to hurt me and even if something were to happen I would never put the burden on you...although, knowing you, you’d still feel bad speaking to him if we broke up, but right now there’s no guarantee that we are going to date, but right now my heart is his, even if that sounds crazy. Youngjae makes me happy, and he’s the only guy I can see myself being with. You probably think this is foolish, but it’s not to me...so I want your blessing in this. You know Youngjae, you know that he’d never do anything to me. I have more reasons for this, but I think I’ve used the same one over and over because you’re giving me a really weird look and I’m just really nervous so...you can say something now,” you spew out the last few sentences because you really can’t read Himchan’s expression at all.

He looks angry, skeptical, amused, and understanding all at once, but that doesn’t seem possible. Your heart is racing as the two of you sit in silence that is only broken when Himchan lets out a soft sigh. “___________-ah, Youngjae is a great guy; there’s no disagreement there. He does care for you already...but I know it’s going to be hard to be dating to keep it secret. If the media were to get wind of anything they would target you, even the fans would keep an eye on you. Some could even pressure you to break up with Youngjae, and I don’t want you to face that. Sure, Youngjae would protect you from it as best he could, but you and I both know you wouldn’t burden him with that knowledge. Would you be happy to receive hateful messages if your relationship was discovered? Would you be able to sit by as Youngjae has to defend you or even deny the relationship? There are rules about this sort of thing, and they must be followed. I’m sorry.”

“As crazy and cheesy as this is going to sound, the heart doesn’t have rules. People fall for other people even if they know they never have a chance. I would be lying if I said I would be hurt to receive hate messages from fans or to be followed by the media, but if I’m not willing to do that to be with Youngjae then I wouldn’t deserve to be with him. i know your company has rules, and I would follow them, but I can’t just sit back and neglect how i feel. There’s no guarantee that the fans would even send me anything or that we’d get caught...just like there’s nothing set in stone that I’d actually date Youngjae. I don’t know how he feels, but I know how I feel and I wanted you to know that too.”

“I’m glad you told me, and if it came down to it...I would give you my blessing, but I don’t want you to get hurt. You’re my sister, it’s my job to protect you from what I can,” Himchan tells you as he wraps his arms around you. You quickly hug him back and just sit like that for a moment, not only because you’re unsure what else to do, but because it’s nice to be with your brother. Suddenly you hear the clock on the wall chime eight o’clock and you know you have to get going so you give Himchan another quick hug before heading out the door only to collide into something.

You land on your with a slight oomph. “Aish, I’m sorry,” a familiar voice mumbles just seconds before you’re helped to your feet again. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you brush yourself off before looking up at Youngjae, who looks extremely embarrassed. “Where is everyone else?” you ask without even thinking about it.

“I decided to head back early...I wanted to talk to Himchan...but I, uh, heard you guys talking,” Youngjae mumbles while looking at the floor. The blood in your veins comes to a halt. Youngjae heard you.

How much had he heard?!

“Youngjae, listen,” you say at the same time he says, “_________-ah, listen.”

“Oh, you go ahead,” the two of you offer at the same time, only to turn red in embarrassment as you both look away from each other.

“You first,” you tell him.

He takes a deep breath. “___________-ah, the reason I came to talk  to your brother was to ask him for permission.”

“Permission?” you prompt as Youngjae pauses, as though he’s unsure if he should continue.

“______________-ah, I like you too, and I wasn’t sure if you felt the same so I didn’t want to risk our friendship, but I just decided that it was finally time that I told Himchan-hyung about my feelings to ask him if it would be alright to ask you to be my girlfriend if I ever got the courage. I know this isn’t the best way to confess to you, but it’s very opportune and I heard what you said, even though I didn’t mean to eavesdrop. So, I’m really sorry for that, but I guess it worked out, right? I mean, you did just get your brother’s blessing about if it ever happened and I want you to know that I would do everything I can to protect you from any of the mean fans if our relationship is discovered because you mean a lot to me. I probably should still go to talk to Himchan-hyung about this, but would you please be my girlfriend?”

You blink in disbelief before you find yourself smiling and hugging him. “There’s nothing else I would rather be right now.”

His arms wrap around you tightly as he brings you closer to him, pressing a light kiss to your temple so the two of you get caught up in the moment, completely forgetting that you should probably go inside to tell your brother that Youngjae just asked you out. You’d get there...soon enough.