Zhoumi (Zhou Mi) – Am I one of you?

Song : Super Junior - Hero

I threw back my head to the headrest. Reading the news made my heart and head pained. People didn’t know the comments could damage a day. Geeesh.

“Mimi~” I turned to the voice. It’s Henry.

“Yup?”

“Stop reading that and let’s get eat.” I smiled to him. Glad to be him, he always positive even though some hurtful comments directed to him.

I got up and followed him. The other members also there. All of us were in Korea, celebrating a goodbye party for the leader hyung. He’s going for his military soon. So all of us decided to have a party, thanks to Siwon hyung.

“Come here, Mimi, Henry.” Leeteuk called me and Henry.

I just smiled a bit to him. Both of us sat near to him.

“You guys okay right?” I just nodded to him. Henry smiled cheerily.

“Ayy, stop worrying about us and let’s enjoy our day today!” Henry said. Leeteuk and the other chuckled. I just smiled.

“Okay, let’s eat!” Yesung said. All of them already dig in their meals. I just stayed silent and ate mine.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I walked out from the dorm. Leaving them party all the night, I just want to have some time alone. So I decided to walk around a bit.

‘Just hope they won’t realized I’m not around.’

I walked with my hands in the pocket. To be true, it’s a bit chilly that night.

I walked without any direction and destination. I just kept walking with my thought on the hurtful statement in the fancafe.

SM jerk, you already said Zhoumi and Henry just SJM, not SJ. Never put them into SJ because they aren’t not qualified at all!

We won’t accept them into SJ.

Zhoumi, Henry, !

I took a breath. I just can’t understand them.

Soon, I jumped a bit when my phone vibrated. I took out my phone.

“Wei? Mimi~”

“Yes, hyung.”

“We’re worried you know. Why you suddenly disappeared? Where are you now?”

“No need to worry, Minnie hyung. I’m okay. Will come back to the dorm soon, don’t worry.”

“Okay, ppalli.” I nodded and ended the call.

I looked around and just realized I have arrived at a park. I walked in and found a bench. I sat there.

I stared blankly to my front. All the previous memories came to me one by one. I did enjoy my time with all my hyungs. Even though it’s really hard in the beginning but I love them.

I still remembered Hankyung ge. He was the one who gave me and Henry strength to stay in SJ-M when the fans keep bashing us. He always advised us to ignore those voices.

But now, he’s not here. And being the bad me, I always can’t ignore the comments. I kept knowing what they said and it pained me. I got more bad comments compared to Henry.

And those comments, I felt like it stained SJ’s name also. I felt helpless and useless.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Author POV

Henry looked at Sungmin. Sungmin shrugged. Henry sighed. Donghae came to them.

“Where’s Zhoumi?” Donghae asked. Sungmin shook his head.

Leeteuk walked passed them and heard Zhoumi’s name.

“What’s wrong with Mimi?”

“He’s going out alone again.” Henry said. Leeteuk stayed silent.

“We can’t do anything. He kept being outcast since Hankyung hyung left.” Siwon came and said. All of them looked down.

“I miss Hankyung ge too…” Henry said.

“All of us miss him, but I know Zhoumi miss him a lot.” Leeteuk said. They nodded.

“Kept updating his behavior. I know he was hurt with those comments recently…and the fanwar too.” Leeteuk said. Henry nodded.

“Guys~ help me!” Ryeowook called from the kitchen. All of them looked at each other. Henry already grinned.

“Err, gotta go, I’m busy~” Henry said and left the dorm. He’s staying outside with his manager.

Donghae scratched his head. “I wanna take bath. Bye~”

“I need to finish my reading. Pyong!” Siwon left. Leeteuk sighed.

“These guys…”

“Lemme help you, Wookie!” Sungmin said and walked in the kitchen. Leeteuk just smiled. He thought about Zhoumi.

‘I hope you stay strong as you’re.’

(end of POV)

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

I opened the door carefully. Afraid I might woke up anyone, I tiptoed in.

“Mimi.” I flinched and gasped. I turned to the voice.

“Leeteuk hyung…”

Leeteuk smiled to me. I calmed down a bit and smiled back to him.

“Just where you have been, Mimi?” I walked to him when he signaled me to do so. I sat beside him.

“Just taking some fresh air outside.” I said.

“Are you okay?” I smiled.

“Hyung…”

“Hum?”

“Can I ask a question?” I said. Leeteuk nodded.

“Am I one of you?” I asked. Leeteuk looked at me. I just looked down.

“Mimi.” I looked up to him.

“Who are you to me?”

“Your junior?” Leeteuk chuckled.

“Mimi, you’re my dongseng.” I nodded a bit.

“And who are you to our fans?” I looked at him.

“A member of SJM?” Leeteuk smiled.

“Zhoumi, listen to me. Ignore what fans say about you. Don’t be afraid and face it strong. You are my dongseng and the others’ dongseng or hyung too. We all are one family. If even some ELFs didn’t approve you as SJ members, but to me, once you’re SJM members, you’re in SJ family.”

Leeteuk said in long sentences. He paused and took my hand. I just stared at his hand.

“You’re my family and I do love and appreciate you like my own brothers. So, stop that negative thinking and stay strong like how you’re.” Leeteuk said and smiled to me. I looked at him and smiled back.

I was touched with his words. My eyes were teary. I’m such a stupid fall for the bad comments. I’m not alone, I have them. I have all SJ members as my family. I just needed their supports and I could get through all of this.

“Hyung, gomawo.” Leeteuk smiled.

“While I’m gone, you will do your best right?” I nodded.

“Good, now stop worrying and be the strong Zhoumi I know.” I smiled to him. He hugged me and I returned it.

I’m thankful to have him and the others. I knew I can count on them.

“Pour out your problems to someone if you have one. Share it, don’t keep it.” He said.

“Okay, hyung.” I said.

Author’s Note:

Hey, I’m back here! ^^

I know maybe this update won’t fit to any expectation…but I don’t find myself…

I lost my first aim when I started this story…

Then, I couldn’t give the best for this story…

Sorry if you found it disappointing…I can’t fix myself…

But I’m willing to finish this story, so…

Do read till the end if you’re okay with my shabby, lame and disappointing chapters…

I’m truly sorry… *bow

-Ranasungmin-