[January 2012]

I couldn’t move my lips when he uttered those nonsenses and when our lips touched, I froze, too shocked and dumbfounded. His lips felt cold on mine and I couldn’t feel anything else and even the New Year’s fireworks, I couldn’t hear their sound.

How I wished everything he said was a joke but when I saw the look on his eyes, I couldn’t think that way. The happiness when I first saw him just vanished when he asked me to come home with him.

That’s a ridiculous thing to ask for from me and this ring he gave me, it was even more absurd.

‘Get back to your senses, Hyungsik Oppa. You’re kidding, right? You didn’t mean it, do you?’ I whispered, hard enough for him to hear. My left hand on his, I didn’t think I couldn’t squeeze it even harder anymore. I didn’t have any more strength in me after I heard his confession.

‘Do I look like I’m kidding? Years I held my feelings and I thought I’d come back after working hard in Japan to impress your family so I could ask for your hand in marriage. But –.‘ He stopped when I wanted to hear more. Gasping for air, he clutched his chest as his face was tightening as if he’s experiencing an excruciating pain.

Tears suddenly fell down my eyes and without thinking much, I hugged him again in outermost sorry.

How could this happen?

***/***

When I let go of Jihyun’s hand earlier, I felt something was wrong. A voice told me not to ever let go but stupidly, I left her alone when I saw Kibum and Dr. Lee who were standing not far from where Jihyun and I were at. Truthfully, I was afraid if she would know about my doctor, my illness, a weak side of my mind, I didn’t want her to know anything about it.

Let she know that I, Nam Woohyun was a normal man who had nothing but only love for her.

That’s why I left Jihyun alone before.

‘Woohyun-ah, why is Jihyun-ssi’s at the table all by herself?’ Dr. Lee asked while peering at Jihyun.

‘Yeah, buddy. She must’ve felt suspicious if you left her for Dr. Lee Jin-shi here… I know women very well, Woohyun-ah…’

‘Excuse me, I’m old enough to be his Nuna.’

‘But you’re still beautiful and young. I would believe if you told me that you’re still in your twenties.’ Kibum sweet talked, as always…

I couldn’t interfere with their small argument and turned to look at Jihyun behind me. She’s still there, not looking at us but eating a cupcake. Somehow, I felt a little relieved when I saw her there, acting all carefree, as always. I just hoped that she won’t ask questions or anything about Dr. Lee later.

But when she finished the pink cupcake in her hand, I noticed someone with a tall figure who suddenly dragged her out towards the one of the exits in the hall. The place was a bit too dim for me to recognize his face from this distance and I knew all I wanted to do at that time was to run and get her back.

‘Woohyun-ah.’

‘Oh?’

‘Sorry