[November 2011]

Nothing ever felt this good. For the past twenty three years that I lived, I never felt this giddy to talk to someone before. Even though she was holding herself, hearing her voice alone was already enough for me. And knowing that she wanted to get close to my mother had made me felt even more elated.

Doctor Lee was right. I must believe that she’s not going to leave me and most importantly, she would realize that she loved me very soon. I just had to believe. Her feelings were just somewhere inside her heart, asleep now maybe and were only waiting to be awakened. She just needed to know.

Believe, Nam Woohyun. Jihyun loves you.

[June 2001]

I sat stiffly on the chair with all eyes were on me. And that didn’t feel good, at all. What were they thinking when they did? Did I look like a freak? It’s the fifth time I changed school and it’s all the same. Those hateful looks on their faces, I felt so small being here in this place.

‘Woohyun-ah, come here for a second.’ I quickly stood up and ran towards my mother who’s standing at the door of the classroom. Thankfully she’s still here, she’s the only one who wouldn’t stare at me with that icky look that everyone in the classroom were making.

‘Darling, Umma will leave now.’

‘No!’ I held my mother’s arm, didn’t want her to leave me with these people. And it hurt me when she’s trying to break free from my hold.

‘Sorry, Sir. I hope you can understand. Please take extra care for my son here... It’s been a while since he met people.’

‘I heard about your son, Jung-ssi. Don’t worry. He’s going to receive our best treatment in this school.’ The teacher said and his words made my stomach ache. He was lying, I was sure.

I wasn’t ready to be left with normal people like him. What if he hurt me when my mother left like Umma Chaeyoung did to me a few years ago? And those people in the classroom, they were shooting hate glares at me. They obviously hated me! I tightened my grip onto my mother’s arm, hoping that she won’t leave.

‘Woohyun dear! I have appointments soon! Make friends, here. All of them are nice…!’ She shrieked, hurt from my actions maybe but I didn’t care. These people were much scarier than my mother’s naggings.

However, my worst fear came true. The teacher grabbed me and pulled me away from my mother. No matter how hard I struggled, he was just too strong.

‘Umma!’

My heart started to beat faster when her figure vanished from view. Fear started to run across my soul. The teacher’s still holding my arms that I felt so insecure.

‘Nam-ssi, listen to me. I’m your teacher. I won’t look bad at you or treat you awfully. Teachers are good people, right? Don’t worry about the students here. Most of them are nice. Make friends with them, I’m sure they would love to have you