[November 2011]

‘You’re okay? You don’t seem like you’re well.’

‘Oh, no. I’m just –‘ I couldn’t continue and gasped. Breathing was hard for me whenever I looked at his face and even spoke to him. My heart rate just increased in his presence, imagining how this rotten piece of human took something that should be mine. I quickly plunged my hand into my bag at the point when I couldn’t stand the pain any longer and searched for the painkillers.

‘You’re sick?’ He asked when I shoved a few capsules into my mouth.

‘Yes.’

‘What kind of sickness?

I didn’t manage to answer him when his phone on the table suddenly rang.

‘Oh, Jihyun-ah? What?’ He stood up and headed outside the café.

Jihyun.

The pain struck my chest again even though I already took the disgusting pills. And this time, it felt much worse than before.

[April 2002]

‘Thanks for the treat. I’ll make sure I’ll win another competition so that you’d buy me another meal.’

‘No biggy. Appa's the one who told me to buy you a nice meal.’

I stared closely at the beautiful name on the piece of paper and looked up to its owner.

‘So, your name is Kang Jihyun? No wonder. I thought Soyu’s a weird name.’

‘Oh, haha. Yeap. My friends called me that since I was at the kindergarten. There was also another Kang Jihyun back then, so the teachers and friends started to call me Soyu to tell us apart. And so, the name just went on up until today.’ She explained, followed by an awkward laugh.

‘Why Soyu?’ I asked with much curiosity. My hands were moving on their own, folding the piece of paper with the little skills that I had. The receipt had no use anymore, so I just let my hand be. I also hoped that the chefs in this restaurant would take their time because I wanted to spend more time with Soyu.

‘Oh, let me guess. You like to take people’s stuffs right?’

‘Aye, Oppa…!’

‘So, can I call you Jihyun?’ I asked after much deliberation. Since I knew this girl, people around always called her Soyu and it kinda surprised me to know that her real name’s wasn’t Kang Soyu. Kang Jihyun sounded much better and suddenly, I wanted to be the only one in town who would call her by her real name.

But instead of a yes, Soyu suddenly laughed making me felt a little embarrassed.

‘No…It’s weird if you call me that. All my friends call me Soyu, so be it. Appa and Umma are the only people who call me by my real name. Special folks only.’

Her last sentence struck me. Surprisingly, it hurt a bit to hear that I was not one of the special people that she mentioned.

‘So, I’m not special?’

Again, she laughed out loud.

‘Oh, Oppa! You made a paper plane. How cute.’

[November 2011]

How special was that rotten piece of human to Soyu? Was he more special than me that she’d let him call her by her real name? I knew her for almost ten years, we celebrated birthdays together, had dinner in each other’s houses, studied together and even spent nights in each other’s houses during movie nights. Didn’t doing all those things make me a special someone to her?

Instead of rotten that piece of human… How long had he known her? Not even a year!

I glanced at the door where he just got out and soon, I brought my feet towards that plain door and tried to listen to their conversation.