Words in bold are the voice in Jong kook's head.

---

“Omma!” Hyo Jong gladly attached herself to Ji hyo. Her face was sticky with some tell tale evidence of ice cream, and to think that she was with Jong kook. She looked at her husband as if a miracle happened but he only smiled with a shrug as if saying ‘it just happened’. “Omma, appa bought me ice cream and we ate pizza! I had 3 slices and appa finished the rest.” Hyo Jong said, continuing her impossible tale even during bath time.

 

Ji hyo turned off the hot water then poured some soap in her hands. She gently soaped her daughter’s body while the husband watched at the door. “I’m glad you had a good time today.”

 

Jong kook wondered why but he was feeling worried as he watched. It didn’t help either that Ji hyo’s back was on him. He was free, or maybe he thought he was but there was that something, it was ominous. He also wondered why he hasn’t heard anything from Jade yet after the stunt he pulled off.

 

“Appa! Will you help me with homework?” a Hyo Jong bundled up in a little pink robe asked him, her hair dripping with water. He picked her up and brought her to the room, patting her dry. Jong kook didn’t notice Ji hyo quietly slipping out of the room.

 

---------------

  

“Ajumma, umm have you seen Ji hyo?” Jong kook asked when he couldn’t find his wife. He helped Hyo Jong in her homework earlier. Then after that, the little one said she’s already sleepy so he tucked her to bed and they read a story.

 

Jong kook thought he could ask out Ji hyo for dinner or something. He wanted to talk to her, or just be with her. He couldn’t stay still after how they she seemed so distant earlier.

 

“I’m sorry sir. Madam went out. I think Bong dal drove her.”

 

His face fell hearing that but he only smiled to the older woman before walking away.

 

 

He kept on sliding his fingers repeatedly on the phone, wondering if he should call her or give her time to think. If it was up to him, he would go out there and look for her desperately, do everything to have her back. But he couldn’t help thinking what if it makes things worst? What if… she just couldn’t trust him anymore?

 

But what if she’s waiting?

 

He could understand it if ever she couldn’t look at him. He was a fool to think everytime she’d be alright. He was so dumb to believe there’s not enough pain in love, or to think it couldn’t end.

 

Jade, where are you?

 

Clenching his fist, he stood up and dialed Bong dal’s number. After three rings, the line connected. “Bong dal-ssi, are you with Ji hyo now?” he waited wondering why it was so quiet. They were supposed to be in a car but there was only silence.

 

“Ah, Sir? I am at home. The madam didn’t ask me to drive her.”

 

“Is that so? Okay, I’m sorry for disturbing you.” He hung up the phone and rushed out to the garage. He couldn’t just run away all the time, he couldn’t lose hope and he couldn’t ever doubt Ji hyo’s love.

 

This time, he’d do the chasing.

 

---------------

 

 

The actor watched the woman in front of her, wondering what to do. He didn’t want to chase her away or to drive her home, but he also knew she shouldn’t be there. The pale skin and gaunt cheeks also worried him to no end. She might have recovered and rested but her eyes still has no life in them. “I’m sure hyung’s worried sick noona.”

 

She didn’t answer, instead she eyed the bar behind Joong ki. “Noona, you can’t drink.”

“Yah, I know. It’s not like it’s my first time to have a child.” she answered dryly. She didn’t even know why she was there but there was that weird feeling that she needed to be away for a while.

 

She couldn’t understand why, but everytime she looks at Jong kook it just hurts so much. She couldn’t name that pain, or say why – she just feels like dying every time. Even thinking about him hurts.

 

All she knew is that she fell asleep that noon, and when she woke up, she was crying. Her chest ached so much, and it felt like she lost something so important and the more she struggled to remember the more it seemed to get more distant. Until it’s just gone and she knows she won’t get it back ever.

 

Seeing the person you like, you sometimes think of what ifs. What if you had the courage? To tell her that your smiles and tears were because of her. That you like her. It takes courage to do that, but he also learned, it takes courage too to be silent and love from afar.

 

One might regret forever. One may say if it’s destined it would happen. We always rely on time to do it for us. We rely on time but we hurt when we let it do the decision for us. Maybe confessing was brave, but how would you know, being quiet could be better. See, no one could really know, because we couldn’t do both and either way there would be regrets.

 

For how many times, he was close to telling her. Many times, he tried, even acting like a lovesick puppy in front of her but it didn’t work. That’s how he knew he should stop and just be her friend. Because if he loved her or liked her so much, she would’ve felt it. She didn’t, so Joong ki decided, she deserved someone who likes her more than he likes her.

 

Was it his hyung? He couldn’t say Jong kook was the right one for his noona, but he knew the man likes – loves his noona a lot.

 

Joong ki was the kind of man who’d show a woman he likes her, but his hyung, even if the older one never did anything. No matter how much his hyung tried to hide and run away, he saw those gazes and how Ji hyo returned them. The way he hovers around her and how he smiles as he looks at her, Jong kook was in love with her.

 

Did Ji hyo liked him because she felt his feelings, even subconsciously, did she just responded to those? He wasn’t sure because he knew Ji hyo always thought it was one sided… but then, did it really still matter who fell first or how? Was love not love anymore if it didn’t follow some kind of manual?

 

Joong ki grinned, didn’t the complications only made it better? But what did he know any way.

 

“Yah noona, what happened?”

 

Ji hyo looked at her dongsaeng, thankful to have him there. She has Ji min but she knew, that girl would only run to Jong kook and kill him. The uncles would listen but try to fix them… while Joong ki. He had always been amazing on listening to her. “Yah, I’m really thankful… you know that?”

 

He smiled warmly. He promised, he told her he’d always listen to her even when they all grow old and white. He was her best friend forever… always be her little dongsaeng. “Of course noona. Pfft, it’s not like I could hide from you anyway.” Ji hyo playfully hit him, and Joong ki acted as if it hurt a lot. “I didn’t mean it noona, mianhe.”

 

Ji hyo smiled and Joong ki felt so happy. People live for love thinking it was the ultimate happiness, but really, it depends. He was happy because he wouldn’t ever make her hurt or cry… he could make her smile, listen to her without complications, Maybe he was a simple fool, but he was contented. Because he knew, if she chose him, how could he make sure she’d never hurt, that everything would be perfect? Those things make love special, but he just couldn’t stand the thought of her crying because of him.

 

“I told you many times, I like listening to you noona.”

“You’d regret spoiling me Joong ki-yah.”

“I won’t, don’t worry about it.”

“You should worry about getting a girlfriend though… remember about the army? You complained all you see are men.”

“You came to visit me. You don’t look like a man to me noona and it’s Gwang soo we should be worried about. He looks like Suk Jin hyung now.”

 

Her laugh echoed in the cozy living room and he knew he’d never get tired of hearing it. He’d never regret having that kind of role in her life.

 

“I’m sorry, Joong ki-yah, we seem to meet only when I have these problems.”

“Yah, noona, don’t you know it’s a nicer to hear that I made someone feel better?”

“I don’t even know why I am so sad or what. It’s not like… I was really happy to have him back, excited for a new chance.” She paused, and Joong ki wished he could tell her what was wrong and how to fix it. But he was also at a lost since his hyung looked like a reborn person, someone who seemed to have found out his real reason to exist. So what had gone wrong?

 

“I know he loves me… I could feel that. But everytime, even just the thought of him… it hurts.”

“I wish I knew why.” he said honestly, wanting nothing but to ease her pain, knowing sometimes you just had to admit you couldn’t do anything but be there.

  

“I don’t know what’s holding me back. Why I feel sad…” she sighed and looked at Joong ki’s eyes. He longed so hard to erase those ugliness and confusion in her gaze but he promised he’d only listen. “Noona, what do you want to do now?”

“I want to be with him… but I am also scared.”

“Why?”

“I, I… might cry looking at him, but if he asks me, I can’t tell him why. Because I don’t know too.” The first drop fell, and before he could do anything, she was already crying. Joong ki transferred to her side and sat there quietly.

 

Ji hyo instinctively leaned on Joong ki, her head resting on his shoulder. After a while, she was already sobbing on his back while he stayed unmoving, whispering her name over and over again.

 

 

“She fell asleep…” Joong ki said as he led the man inside his unit. “I left her in the living room and waited for you to arrive.”

 

Jong kook nodded but the pangs of jealousy made him unable to speak clearly. He was worried sick, running everywhere, asking around. Gap Jin scolded him and the manager threatened to drag him home. He only calmed down when Gap Jin said that it would hurt Ji hyo more if people know she was missing. He knew how harsh media could be so he compromised and waited.

 

After hearing from Joong ki, of course, he was relieved but at the same time, he was so jealous. He knew the young man liked Ji hyo, and she – he trusted her and knew they were just good friends. Still he was jealous because he knew the younger one also deserved her maybe more than he does.

 

“Thanks for taking care of her.”

“It’s nothing… noona just needed to get some fresh air like you did.” He flinched but Joong ki was right. He might not know what it was, and even if he was jealous… he was glad she has someone who could comfort her. Even if he wasn’t the one doing it for her, as long as she could feel better it was fine for him. He knew it was his fault anyway.

 

“We’re going… thanks again Joong ki-yah. I mean it… for everything.”

“Just take care of her hyung and the little ones.” With Ji hyo in his arms, he nodded at Joong ki and left.

 

“And hyung!” Joong ki shouted before Jong kook turned to the corner, “don’t ask her, just wait.”

 

He wondered what it was. It hurt a lot not knowing why when someone else does, but it was his fault she had to come to others. He walked away, watching her troubled expression. His heart broke for it seemed, even in her sleep she knew he was there and it was hurting her.

 

---------------

 

The room smelled of fried eggs and bacon when she opened her eyes, and there standing on the foot of the bed was Jong kook. He smiled at her as soon as their gazes met.

 

She looked away but Jong kook didn’t budge. He made her wait, left her behind a lot. He wouldn’t be complaining now, instead, he’d be there for her.

 

“Min hee-ssi said you have filming today.” he started but Ji hyo didn’t responded and only looked at him. Her face was blank and it hurt to see that it was as they were before, back from where they started. When he couldn’t tell anything from looking at her.

 

Before it was because the future Jong kook haven’t been honest about his feelings, but now there was an entirely different reason. It was not just because of him walking away and hurting her, there’s more than that and it scares him a lot. “You should eat something. Umm, I wasn’t so sure what to cook but I…” what would he tell her, that he doesn’t actually know what she wants? That he just assumed because he saw her eat those a lot? He kept on telling her he loves her without even knowing those simple things.

 

I’m sorry.

 

He was about to say that, but he only keeps on hurting her everytime he says those words. Because he always says them whenever he doesn’t know what to do.

 

“Do you want me to drive you to the set? Need anything?” he asked, hanging on desperately when all he wanted to do was hug her tight, tell her he loves her. That… but he didn’t because her gaze told him not to even try.

 

“Hyo Jong?” The iciness in her voice almost made him step back, but he swallowed the pain and smiled.

 

“She woke up early. I took care of her and sent her to school with Bong dal.” Would he just stay silent? Should he wait? He didn’t want to at all. He couldn’t ignore it, he was afraid they’d run out of time.

 

She stood up to go to the bathroom, without saying anything more. He didn’t know what happened. He thought they were okay or that the mess was not that big. Sure, she backed off a little when he told her about the ring – he only wanted her to love him, not the other him and he, he only wanted to love her without being bound to any mission or whatsoever.

 

She closed the door to the comfort room. It was a very low sound, but to Jong kook, it was even louder than the sounds of gunshots.

 

I didn’t… it wasn’t supposed to be like this… I was supposed to...

 It was our time. It was our moment… what am I doing wrong?

 

You are doing nothing.

 

Who are you?

 

I am…

 

The door opened again, waking up Jong kook from his thoughts. Ji hyo went about her preparations as if he wasn’t there.

 

You are doing nothing.

 

I am doing nothing.

 

Without thinking, he walked to her in haste, and hugged her tight. “Ji hyo… Ji hyo…” he whispered over and over again, willing her to come back, hoping she’ll wake up. He wished she’d just curse or shout at him instead of shutting him out with silence. “Ji hyo-yah.”

 

He felt her slowly turning around to face him. It must have been a terrible product of his imagination but she was different.

 

She had changed and instinct was telling him it has something to do with time and his defiance.

 

“Kim Jong kook oppa.” she looked up, her eyes were hard and dark. It was menacing. Hatred, pain, it was a mess but he didn’t look away. He wasn’t going to back down. He never would, especially because he knew why all those emotions were there. Because she loved him and he hurt her that’s why. He caused all those emotions. “Kim Jong kook oppa…” she buried her face to his chest. “I knew.” she added which made his blood cold.

 

Knew what Ji hyo-yah?

 

“Jong kook-ah, yeobo?” he stirred and he realized he was holding Ji hyo tight against him. She was heaving when he released her.

 

“I’m sorry Ji hyo-yah,” he stopped, wondering if he was dreaming. She wasn't looking at him with hatred anymore. It was as if another Ji hyo was in front of him. Still, the feeling of dread didn't go away. “Ji hyo, earlier?”

“What about earlier yeobo?”

“You knew about what? Last night too, you were at Joong ki’s.” he tried, wondering if he was only imagining what happened earlier. She looked at him curiously.

 

“Have I forgotten to tell you that we were rehearsing? Of course it wasn’t like the director told me to, but I just wanted to make sure the scene was perfect.”

Jong kook got the impression that she went to Joong ki to vent out her feeling, that it was because she didn't want to see him. But everything sounds normal, like nothing even happened. He tried to gather his thought and then he said, “it’s fine Ji hyo-yah, I was just worried about you and our baby. Anyway, I’ll be around your filming set.”

“Neh, don’t worry so much. I had never felt any better.” she answered with a smile. Jong kook secretly watched her wondering what was happening. Why did it felt like he doesn't know anymore what was real?

 

“Ji hyo another thing, last… umm the other night when I was gone.” he purposely trailed his words waiting for her reaction.

 

“Ah that one? I told you it was okay to have some time with your friends. Although I was a bit surprised it wasn’t with Tae Hyunnie and Hyukkie.”

 

What was happening? I never told her that I'll go somewhere that night. I walked away... I left.

 

“Have you thought about what I told you?” Would she even remember about the proposal and the rings, or would it be different too?

 

“That was actually so nice to renew our wedding vows. Of course I’d do it – Kook-ah, what’s wrong?” she asked, her hand carresing his face. Jong kook blinked, wishing it were all a dream. He hoped he was wrong.

 

He was brought to a future with a wife who hated him but loved him at the same time. Future Jong kook has a lot of baggage that he'd rather carry alone than share even if it means he has to let go of his family.

 

But this situation he was in now was nothing like that. Something tells him this future was a result of a past where Jong kook never had those baggages. It was a future that could only be true if he finished the Equation, went back and waited for fate to let him meet Ji hyo, and do things the right way. Start all over again, change everything... even the future and he is now witnessing what could have been if there was no secrets. No doubts, no old man, no Eun hye.

 

This was his wish, to see her unhurt and to have only her. This was a better future, but why does he feel so uncertain? Why couldn't he just feel happy about it?

 

The future he was in now is a future that would happen if he goes back. Was time telling him to go back and redo things the right way? To change everything? But if it was already fixed... did he also get another of his wishes? To stay, to never leave. He didn't even have to finish the Equation already, Time has decided for him.

 

Why does it feel so different? Why am I so sad?

 

He should be happy. She wouldn’t have to go through all those pains anymore, she wouldn’t have to know how many times he walked away, the times he hurt her. But it doesn’t feel the same. It was as if he had lost something precious.

 

Would Ji hyo want it? It was just like a big lie, but then even from the start it wasn't honest. He didn’t want to change anything because it was what made everything special… but –

 

Jong kook smiled bitterly, lost in confusion. He was disappointed at himself, ashamed to even think of how he said he loved her when he couldn’t carry the burden for her. It was actually a favor, right? Ji hyo could just live as if nothing happened, as if everything was perfect. He deserved to have all those memories, to hurt alone and be contented that she was safe from those memories.

 

Even if it felt like he was lying. Even if it was crushing him. Even if it hurts. Even if he was doubting himself.

 

But what if he was wrong all along? What if time only wanted him to realize his true feelings -- what if he and she weren’t meant to be in the first place? That he was to choose… no one.

 

Do you even love her?

 

Who are you?

 

You know me well Jong kook-ah. I am –

 

---------------

 

She was a beautiful painting. Her face was a canvass of emotions, the emotions saturated the air. It was like being transported in a completely new dimension.

 

Her tears fell while she tried to smile.

 

Their gazes met as she looked away from the young man in front of her and for a while, Jong kook’s breath caught.

 

It was only acting and the rain made the view from his position hazy. All of those was just a show – fake. But he knew right there, he wouldn’t want to see that face, that hurt and look of betrayal, directed at him in real life.

 

“Because it was all lies. Because… there are so many ifs and buts”

“Noona.”

“There are only farewells for us now.”

“But noona! This was just the start. I have so many plans, we could be happy… Sun, you and me. Family…” Joong ki held her wrist in desperation, he was panicking, hurting. Not wanting to let go and it all felt so real that Jong kook could have said those words himself. “We’re family… I love you...

“I love you noona.”

 

She looked at him again, her eyes blazing with fire but the reasons were hidden so well behind a façade of blankness. Jong kook hated how real it felt, how every word was like a nail being driven to his heart.

The films continued to roll and everyone was holding their breath as the scenes unfolded. “Please don’t hurt me anymore. You could change it. You could spare me the pain… please.

“Please let go of me now.”

 

And Joong ki did. His hand dropped, letting her slip away.

 

Ji hyo walked away.

 

Jong kook wasn’t able to do anything but let go of their memories. He could spare her the pain… he could make her happier from now on. He could let go...

 

“Good work Ji hyo, Joong ki!” the director shouted bringing the filming to a halt.

 

Everyone broke into applause as the two actors emerged from the fake rain. Ji hyo chuckled at the praises the crew threw her. Even Shi Yoon and Sarah were smiling as they checked the monitors.

 

Joong ki went to his noona with a towel in hand but before he could reach her, Jong kook was already beside her. Jong kook smiled as if nothing happened and he swiftly wrapped Ji hyo. “Let’s go to the dressing room so I could change you.” he whispered to which Ji hyo laughed.

 

“Yah! How am I supposed to walk if you have me wrapped like a cocoon here?” she said jokingly. “And what have you eaten for you to be so overprotective of me today?”

 

He looked at her sincerely, wishing with his all that she wouldn’t see past him."Just let me spoil you a little. If you can’t walk, I’ll carry you… no big deal.”  Ji hyo didn’t buy his bluff and tried to free herself from the towels but before she could, she was already up in the air. She squealed and the crew cheered.

 

Jong kook avoided everyone’s eyes. He was a big fool, the biggest one of all fools.

 

Her laughter devoid of any pain. Those small things like them being together… how could he dare wished everything to stay the same when there’s something much better?

 

He finally realized, he loves her so much. Too much that even if everything would change, no matter how much time would be cruel to them… as long as she was there it doesn’t matter. As long as she was his in any way, it would be fine.

 

Even if it hurts.

 

As long as she was not the one hurting.

 

--------------------

 

The set was quiet that day, like a ghost town. All the staff was given a break but no one was relaxing at that moment while they all watch their hard work for the first time in the comfort of their homes.

 

 

The ratings room was full of people but no one talked as they waited tensely for 6:00 to come. Shi yoon and the director were among those who were at the studio, watching real time channel ratings. Shi Yoon gave a slight smile at his team.

 

The show hit a rating of 12.34%, not bad since it kept getting higher as the show progressed. They hit a 14.62 as their highest and ended at a solid 13.51%. Shi Yoon called immediately the most nervous person about the drama.

 

 

Ji hyo broke into a teary smile 10 seconds after she picked up her phone. Jong kook watched her tensed face turn into a shocked one, and then she appeared somewhat happy, then grateful. He saw how much she worked so hard and all he could do was to make sure she’d be fine and safe.

 

He thought his decision was right. Her happiness should come first. She should be his priority and with the look she was now giving him, it was all worth it.

 

He tapped the seat beside him and turned down the volume."I told you it would be fine. You guys all did a good job.” She sat beside him and immediately curled up to cuddle him. He wrapped his arms around her, bringing her closer against him. “You were so great Ji hyo-yah. I’m so proud of you.”

 

She eased up and tried to reach him, giving him a kiss on his lips but he didn’t responded and she ended it right away too. He was frozen in his spot, his mind protesting and his heart aching. He wondered why it hurt so much. He wondered why he was so selfish when his woman was happy.

 

“Jong kook-ah, what’s wrong?” he cupped her face and he placed a gentle kiss on her cheeks, hiding his tears. Hiding the pain that was threatening to show.

 

“Can’t you tell how great you were? That was so touching… the drama I mean.”

“It feels like something is wrong.”

“Let me be nostalgic for a while. Sometimes it awes me so much that I have someone like you.”

“It’s because I love you. And because you love me.” she s her hands around his waist, drawing them close for a hug. Ji hyo was happy. Hyo Jong and their new child were healthy. His pain was such a small price to pay for all those. “Now stop crying and celebrate with me yeobo.”

 

He looked at her quizzically making her laugh.

 

“Yah, I am not saying we should join them for a drink or what. Dinner?”

 

---------------

 

Jong kook felt suffocated as he scanned the menu in front of him. It was raining outside, just like the first time they were there. “The owner’s my friend. I had never brought you here because they don’t do healthy much in here – but I really crave for some fatties or some barbecue. Their beef and pork here are the best, totally daebak.” Ji hyo kept on praising the place but his mind was elsewhere.

 

Jong kook was sure it was not his first time in Chang Joo’s restaurant. He was sure he wasn’t dreaming that he first heard about the old man in that place. Even if she never told him, why was she so relaxed in that place? It made him wonder just how much of her memories were altered, worst it made him question who he really is now because he was forming a theory in his mind that he doesn’t like at all.

 

The dinner was very romantic with Chang Joo going all out to make the night perfect for them. He tried his best to enjoy the food but Ji hyo eyed him curiously.

 

“Kook-ah,” she said, munching on her second plate of pork belly. “Is it me or the food?”

 

He laughed awkwardly, “it’s too greasy although it tastes good.”

“Don’t worry, just go burn it out in the gym. I’m sorry but I just wanted to eat this so much.” she wrinkled her nose and he had to laugh at that. He ruffled her hair and chuckled.

 

“Don’t worry Mrs. Kim neh? I’m fine. I am already full anyway.”

“How? You haven’t eaten half of your food.”

“Just seeing you happy is enough for me.”

 

Ji hyo stared at him. She knew her husband was dramatic and cheesy. He was shy and was actually so quiet but he did have those kinds of moments when all she wanted was to cuddle up with him and hug him tight.

 

He always had that air of sadness and mystery around and whenever she’d ask he would only look at her confused. It makes her think that even he doesn’t know what it was that saddens him and she wished she knew so she could make it go away. But she also learned through time, it was natural to him and he’d only torture himself worrying and regretting if she asks because he hates it when he makes her worried.

 

But that night he looked especially different. It was as if he was happy, but at the same time, he looked so pained. Something was telling her only showing him she’s happy would drive those hurts away. Ji hyo smiled, and she hoped so hard it would be enough.

 

---------------

 

History was said to be present’s teacher. If we are afraid of the future, sticking to history will teach us a thing or two on how to survive, telling us what to do in a situation, but then unlike history, the future could always change. Everytime we do a decision a different outcome results. Therefore, they also said History is just a guide but it’s not a guarantee.

 

Now Jong kook needed to know who he really is to his time. He needed to know if he was still the present or the future.

 

The computer hummed softly. Jong kook closed his eyes wishing it were not true. He opened his eyes again and reread the article about him.

 

Kim Jong Kook Suicide or Accident?

A week after his fiancé’s death, singer Kim Jong kook was spotted drowning in the lake where Yoon Eun Hye died. The doctors said he would recover although unconscious… rumors said he had a condition, which affected his brain… resulting from temporary loss of memories... nothing was confirmed and the doctors had denied the baseless rumors...

 

Im Shi Yoon, from Student to Partner

Former idol Im Shi Yoon and Kim Jong kook opens up KJK Entertainment, signing up three big stars as their starting… the former idol Im was Kim's 'apprentice' and successor... now working together...

 

The news was different from the first time. There was no article about his suicide before, Shi Yoon was not his student. It made sense and it only confirmed that something from the present was fixed, but the reasons behind it was what worries him. There were even some things that completely vanished like the old man.

 

Baek Chang Joo Opens up Restaurant

Famous for being Song Ji hyo’s friend, former C-jes CEO opens a line of restaurants after retiring from the entertainment…

 

He stopped reading.

Jong kook called Jade's name, but there was nothing. 

 

He brought out his phone and dialed the number of the only person he could ask, someone who knew a lot. “Shi Yoon-ah…”

“O hyung, wait you sound terrible.”

“I do? What’s wrong with me?” Jong kook asked laughing dryly, tired of the endless mystery.

 

“Hyung, was it another relapse? Have you been taking your meds?”

 

What meds? Ah, that one so that I won’t have another attack? Was it about the accident?

Why do I know this?

 

Jong kook winced, memories from somewhere he didn’t know was rushing on him.

 

He was on Ji hyo’s set secretly watching but it wasn’t for Mrs. Kim but for a drama called Mandate of Heaven.

 

He was writing a song, he was calling her so pretty.

 

He was in a room and he was kissing her passionately, outside the famous Hongkong night view could be seen.

 

He was punching Gary for touching his girlfriend.

 

He was scowling and nagging her for drinking too much.

 

He was there when Hyo Jong came out in this world.

 

He watched Hyo Jong take her first step.

 

He remembered that her daughter’s first word was ‘run’.

 

He doesn’t know why he knew all those things.

 

On the other side of the line Shi Yoon was saying stuff about him forgetting the doctor’s order again.

 

He was Kim Jong kook, married to Song Ji hyo. Because of the accident he has memory lapses. He hallucinates and would sometimes call people who does not exist - Jade, old man. They were not real. The meds would make them go away.

 

Song Ji hyo, the actress side of Chun Seung Im, loves to pretend she’s someone else. They met because they had the same shrink. Ji hyo had been suffering from depression because of her acting roles, they were broken but perfect for each other.

 

They met there in the little white office. They started out in Running Man and became the show’s official love line called Monday Couple. It was not true he rejected the loveline offer, Ji hyo hates it when he forgots that he volunteered to be the Monday Boyfriend.

 

They married and had a child named Hyo Jong.

 

There were no gangs, there were no secrets. Eun Hye wasn’t pregnant. It was never them

 

He still hears the voices, but they were only aftereffects… the Equation of time, it could just be a hallucination.

 

I am you. You are I. This is our present.

She is our choice.

 

Who am I?

 

But somehow, he knew.

 

The present already passed, the future is already the present. I am no longer in the future, this is the present... there was no time travel...

 

Right, I am not future Jong kook anymore, I am you. We are I.

 

You succeeded.

 

Because you failed.

 

However, this is my Equation…

 

There was no Equation, it’s better this way.You love her, you don’t want her to know what hurt is… this is the present now.

 

No more pain…

 

Spare her the pain.

 

This is your reality.

 

Yes.

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Thank you for patiently waiting, I was busy for school last week and then we had this flooding... thanks for reading and please don't kill me yet. I am just preparing the stage for the ending lol

I just want to thank those frequent commenters who inspires me a lot to think, thanks for believing in me people :) Sorry I can't believe it sometimes when you say I am good hahaha that's not my thing. I just hope you enjoy, gomawo ^_^

A. Jong kook only thought there was an Equation but the truth was it's his memory lapses because of the suicide when he jumped on the lake. He thought he met Jade and was solving Equations but it was only because of brain damage.

B. Jong kook defied time and this was time's revenge. Time fixed everything, even possesing Ji hyo, it set up a scenario where Jong kook could only watch in pain and confusion wondering what was real or what.

I placed two possible explanation since it was a bit confusing... thanks for reading again :)