Appa?

 

Jong kook looked at the little girl running towards him. She clung to his leg and looked up to him. Jong kook can’t understand the emotions that ran through him. He instantly fell for the little angel smiling at him. She was around three, with a bright smile, her dark hair softly framing her chubby cheeks, her eyes big and twinkling, her lips and her smile, that little dimple on her cheek, she sort of looked like him. Jong kook kneeled in front of her, his eyes misting as he remembered the unborn child of his past. “Appa! I missed you!” the little girl hugged his neck and she showered him with little kisses. I’m an appa… this is my daughter…

 

Jong kook can’t explain the ache in his heart as he stared at her. He felt sorry and confused. He remembered what he discovered about him and he felt angry with himself. He is married, he has a kid but he acted like that. He felt ashamed to face the little girl, but he doesn’t have the strength to push her away. “Appa, are you mad at Hyo Jong? I promise I won’t play in your studio again. I’ll be a really, really good girl, I promise.” She tightened her grip on his neck and Jong kook felt his heart crushing into pieces. It might be the first time they have met, but Jong kook can’t deny his parental instincts over the girl.

 

She released his neck and pulled his hands. She stuck out her pinkie and Jong kook did the same. “There, pinky promise. So don’t leave Hyo Jong again, huh appa? Promise?” the lump in his throat grew bigger, and he tried to hold back his tears. He pinky-swore with her and nodded.  He silently promised himself to make it up to the little angel.

 

“Hyo jong? It’s a nice name… hey, little girl… it’s not your fault okay? It’s appa’s fault.” Yeah it’s my fault… you shouldn’t be suffering. Jong kook hugged her back, feeling her delicate, fragile body against him. “Did appa leave for a long time?”

“Neh… mom said, you will be gone for a really, really long time. Like this.” She stretched her arms as far as she could, demonstrating how long he was gone. He sighed wondering what went wrong with him. “Don’t worry H-hyo jong-ah… appa won’t be gone for a long time now.” He smiled to the little girl, wishing with his whole being that he could hide his pain. Then he remembered, if he had a kid, then he would also have a wife. His heart palpitated as he thought of it.

 

“Hyo Jong-ah!” a woman’s voice echoed from the house. Jong kook stood up and took the little girl’s hand. “Your omma is looking for you.”

“Right! She told me not to go out, but I saw your car from my window. Let’s go appa, omma will really, really be surprised.” Jong kook smiled at her as he let the little girl pull him. Her ‘really, really’ habit made Jong kook chuckle. The door opened and a woman stepped out.

 

“Hyo Jong! I told you not to… oh, you’re here.” She didn’t sound too pleased and Jong kook wondered why. She was familiar but he didn’t recognize her at all. There were many questions in his mind, did she know about his affairs? He certainly wished that that was not the case as they all went into the house.

 

“Hyo Jong-ah, will you go to your room and sleep? You’ll be late for playschool tomorrow.” The girl hesitated and Jong kook can feel that she wanted to spend more time with him. “Let me tuck her into bed then. Let’s go Hyo Jong-ah.” Ji hyo looked at him curiously and he caught that twitch in . He wondered if he was doing anything weird.

 

Jong kook felt so relieved when Hyo Jong dragged him and lead the way because he certainly didn’t have any idea where her room is. They stopped at a pink door and Jong kook opened it. Inside was more pink, the walls are covered with Disney princesses’ poster and her bed is overflowing with dolls. He picked her up and put her in bed. He gently pulled her comforter to her chin, she was so happy while her eyes followed his every move. “Why?” he asked. “Nothing appa… you never did this for Hyo Jong… that’s why I am really, really happy.” He felt guilty and he placed a kiss on her forehead. “Good night Hyo Jong…” she smiled and closed her eyes. Jong kook switched off the lamp and walked out of her room.

 

His wife was waiting for him at the door. He had trouble reading her expression and he didn’t even know her name. He hesitated, unsure of what to do around her. “Since when did you care about us like that?” she spoke first, her voice sounded mad. So I am a bad husband too, did my future self do anything right at all?

 

“I’m sorry…,” he softly whispered, and he really meant it. She silently walked away and Jong kook wanted to call her, but how? When she doesn’t even have a name. Jong kook was just sorry, so sorry and guilty towards them but he didn’t know what to do. He stood there for a long while. He didn’t even know where to sleep, or where to go.

 

“Sir, do you want to eat dinner?” an ajumma approached him. She looked so kind and understanding that Jong kook wanted to tell her his secret and to ask her what he should do. He shook his head no and he walked towards the room where his wife went. “Sir, it would be best not to disturb her tonight. I prepared your room already.” My room? I have my own room?  He saw another door at the end of the hall and went in. He really wished he had entered the right one so he won’t look like an idiot.

 

When he went in, he immediately knew it was his room, as the interior is so manly. There was a wedding picture on the wall and he stared at it. His wife is really beautiful and she looked a lot like Hyo Jong. She looked so happy in the picture while he was not even smiling. He wondered why she married him. He remembered the first time seeing her and he realized that she looked tired and weary. It’s my fault obviously… I’m a bad father, I’m a bad husband… I won’t even be surprised if my omma and hyung also hated me.

 

He threw himself on the bed and as he was about to close his eyes, he saw a shadow move. Suddenly, Jade was there, seating beside him. “Yo, what’s up Jong kook?”

“Yah… I have a child, and a wife but I don’t even know their names. Can’t you be useful for even once?”

“You looked pretty surprised there, but no I can’t help you. Umm, okay I can give you some tips, this world is pretty advanced and the internet would be your friend.” Jong kook only looked at Jade with annoyance as his words sounded useless to him. They had internet eight years ago of course, but he had never really bothered to learn it. “Ah! I don’t know anymore…” he buried himself on the pillows and fell asleep fast.

 

_____________________

 

Jong kook woke up and wondered where he was until he realized what happened. He went to the bathroom and it took him a long time before he could make hot water come out of the shower. The clothes in his closet looked too foreign and there were excessively many suits. He opted to wear a loose pants and a shirt before going out. He passed by Hyo Jong’s room and she wasn’t there. She must have gone to the playschool.

 

He went down and familiarized himself with the house. It was really big, as he counted five rooms upstairs and there was a spacious garden and pool too. He saw someone in the pool and he felt himself blush to realize that it was his wife. He felt a little bit shy since in his time, swimsuits did not look that revealing. If she saw him, he wouldn’t know since she didn’t give any indication that she did. He went inside the house and looked for the kitchen.

 

“Sir, sit down and I’ll prepare breakfast.” He turned around and it was the ajumma. He took a seat and watched her expertly prepare the meal. “Ajumma, did my wife eat already?” the woman stopped and looked at him curiously. “Child, will you not get angry if I talk honestly?” he nodded, curious at what she had to say. “You had never called me ajumma before, I was no one. You never asked about your wife and I had never seen you like that with Hyo Jong. I couldn’t help but cry when I saw you with her last night, it was as if a different person came home. She loves you dearly and also madam I… I know this is too presumptuous of me, but son please don’t leave them.” He nodded, unable to answer her.

So I was right… I am a bad person.

 

_____________________

 

Jong kook finally persuaded Jade to teach him about the internet and from there he was able to find out about himself.

 

Kim Jong kook, the only one man and proud owner of KJK labels, gets married to Song Ji hyo in a church today. Kim and Song met and got close together during their running man show. On the 103th episode of running man, Kim proposed to Song to which she accepted right away…

 

KJK labels, home to the most famous and hottest stars of Korea. It was created by Kim Jong Kook and started from only one idol group and currently the company has over ten successful idol groups. Millions of people dream of becoming a trainee there…

 

Song Ji hyo left Running Man to care for her daughter, Kim Jong kook to continue hosting…

 

Kim Jong kook appoints Im Shi yoon as CEO of KJK labels…

 

Kim Jong kook spent his day reading articles about him and he discovered that his marriage was a happy one in the eye of the public but he didn’t trust the news. The information overload made him dizzy and tired. Jade was there playing games with a thing he called a tablet.

“You finished with the laptop?” Jong kook groaned and tossed it to Jade. “Hey Jade, is it okay if I stay here at home? Don’t I need to go to work or something?”

“Can’t you read between the lines Jong kook? Why do you think you appointed that guy to be the CEO?”

“So he’ll work for me?”

“And… come on. Is that all you could think of?”

“Err… wait I made him work and I play around? That would explain why Hyo Jong said I was gone for a really really long time…”

“Haha that’s really really cute… I see that you adore your daughter.”

“And another thing about…” he turned around but no one is there. “Figures…”

 

“Appa! You are still here?” Hyo Jong burst out from the door and run to him happily. Her smile made Jong kook’s problem fade away like magic and he happily spent his afternoon with her.

 

________________________

 

“Why are you like this?” Jong kook was surprised to see Ji hyo standing there again outside Hyo Jong’s room. He just came out after he tucked her in bed and he was not expecting her. He didn’t answer immediately. Actually, he didn’t know what to tell her at all. “Let’s talk.” They went outside to the garden. Ji hyo sat down on a chair and Jong kook noticed that she was shivering. He walked to her and placed his jacket around her. She sighed and Jong kook wished he hadn’t done anything wrong. “This reminds me of the old you… I-I missed you.” he smiled, relieved that at least it meant they didn’t just get married without liking each other.

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