“I’m worried.”

 

Jade turned to look at the source of the voice, smiling as the woman neared towards him. He shrugged in his happy go lucky way that made the other one sigh.

 

She gave him a stern look and Jade ceased smiling. “Yah, come on… I’m sure he will figure it out… In fact, I think he already did.”

“Then why was it like that?” she said, pointing to the scene before them.

 

“He just hasn’t realized it yet. Be patient,” he replied, facing away from her and pretending to be distracted. Jade’s expression grew grim. The big one had called him and told him something unexpected.

 

The answers he was looking for, the time for it had almost arrived.

 

--------------------

 

 Ji hyo stirred awake inside an unfamiliar room. She squinted at the blinding lights and tried to prop herself up in the bed to no avail. Her hand automatically went to her temple as she felt a wave of dizziness wash over her. With a defeated sigh, she let herself fall back to the mattress. With her eyes shut tightly, she wished the uncomfortable feeling to go away. Ji hyo tried again to sit, but a pair of strong arms effortlessly lifted her up.

 

“Jong kook-ah…” she whispered, knowing instantly who it was. Ji hyo felt safe knowing he was there. She was more willing to forget everything just to have him with her.

 

Jong kook didn’t speak a word as he carried her to the bathroom, but she could sense a silent chaos within him. Even if he tried so much to hide it, she could see everything. Still, he treated her ever so gently, like the most precious gem. She realized she was the reason of his pain. She could feel that everything was about her, why he was hurting, why he was scared. No matter how many times she tells him it was okay, that they could hurt together, it was how he loved.

 

Jong kook will forever be an idiot. He will forever try to work out things on his own. But there is one more thing she has learned, he would never want to leave. He never wanted to hurt her. Jong kook just doesn’t know how to do that, he doesn’t know that he was drifting away. And for the first time, Ji hyo was scared that she wouldn’t be able to pull him back.

 

She leaned on him as she lowered her face to the sink, weakly emptying her stomach, all the while holding on to Jong kook. She lifted her head, cringing as another wave of dizziness hit her. Jong kook patiently rubbed her back, patting and whispering words of comfort until she felt like she could already stand up on her own.

 

Just like how they reached the bathroom, Jong kook carried her back. Her husband carefully laid her in the soft mattress, drew the blanket to her chest, making sure that everything was comfortable. She never doubted his love after the recent events, but it was as if there was a wall between them. She almost winced, but she didn’t show him. That wall, she hasn’t noticed it before, but despite seeing everything, knowing his pains, his fears. There had always been that wall.

 

“Yeobo… what happened?” she asked mustering all the control she’d learned over the years. She hid behind a façade of blankness. Ji hyo didn’t want to alert Jong kook, she knew him too well – one hint of sadness and he’d be crucifying himself for it.

 

Moments passed and Ji hyo didn’t get an answer. Instead, Jong kook busied himself on the pantry. She only realized at that moment that she was in a private hospital room. She wanted to laugh aloud at herself, at them. Her eyes were only on him, her mind her heart, everything was about him. And he, Jong kook, was only looking at her, caring only for her. Still, it wasn’t enough to breach the wall. They were fools and they knew it, but they did nothing about it.

 

The mattress dipped as Jong kook sat beside her, slowly, softly dabbing the warm washcloth on her face without missing a spot. It brought a soothing calm that made her sigh and ache at the same time. It reminded her of everything, of the past, how she longed to be treated with love. How she thought she had failed, but then things happened. She fell in love again, believed and trusted again.

 

It must have been few minutes or an hour or more, but Ji hyo couldn’t ever forget how he did that little task. How he looked while doing it. Was it too much to ignore everything and wish time would just stop right there?

 

 “Tell me…” she paused. There was no need to ask at all. Even Joong Ki had sensed it. Still... she did.  “Am I?”

 

Two words, just two words, and it opened up to old fears. She didn’t want to do this to him, but she knew, and hoped, that it would be the way to overcome his sad past. The unspoken answer hung heavily in the air.

 

It made her scared, what assurance did she have to know nothing would go wrong? Was it too selfish of her to risk it? When Hyo Jong was born, it was Ji hyo’s first time to feel an unexplainable feeling of contented happiness. The blessing calmness of having her child in her arms. Have the man she loved look at her with a teary gratitude and affection. It made her almost believe that nothing could ever go wrong again.

 

Hyo Jong was their chance to start again, to forget the pains and the ugly memories. Ji hyo never thought she could have another future aside from the nightmare that was the old man. She thought Jong kook could abandon the past, but he only grew distant. Thinking he could lessen the pain by being detached. She stayed but she had given up and thought of the worst. Instead of reaching out past the wall, she waited for the most stubborn man ever alive, and until now, the remnants of that wall remained.

 

Now, they had another chance and, she wouldn’t let it go to waste. Neither Eun Hye nor the vile old man could come between them now.

 

As if a punch hit her hard, a question in the back of her mind made her pale – why had Jong kook took so long to figure out things that had already happened a long time ago? Was the world so cruel to hide everything from them and watch them live in misery, only to have everything revealed in such a short amount of time so the heavens could watch them keep up? She feared her thoughts and the way it spoke of things that weren’t supposed to be. Ji hyo hoped her instinct and that little voice on her head was wrong.

 

Jong kook didn’t know if he should be glad on the silence that shrouded the room but then he felt Ji hyo recoil. The stillness sliced in the air like a mighty weapon. She had drifted off into a place inside her where he couldn’t reach her, just like what he did. He wanted to call her back, tell her he loved her but he didn’t.

 

--------------

 

Joong ki didn’t mean to but he wanted to be sure. He had dropped by the hospital several times just to peek at the small glass opening in the door, wanting to make sure she was fine. A friendly nurse gave him a call as soon as his noona woke up and he rushed there like a mad man, thanking his good fortune that his shoot was somewhere near.

 

He wasn’t prepared for what he saw through that small glass window. His hyung and noona were lost in the silence of their own thoughts. He did not need to be inside for it was almost palpable. It made him frustrated and mad. The two people he valued and loved were there, one of them was a person he could die for, but they were just wasting their time. Why had two stubborn people been fated to meet?

 

Four years ago, he didn’t have the courage to do anything. Four years ago, he was a fool for thinking, as embarrassing and selfish it was that he’d have a chance if he waited. But Ji hyo had never even looked at him as he went through with her pains, listening patiently and hurting at the same time.

 

Even against his will. Joong ki left. He has to do something but the time wasn’t right. He still trusted his hyung, his noona’s choice. They weren’t the same as before… he only hoped they wouldn’t run out of time.

 

---------------

 

The Running Man members came to visit the family. It was no reunion; they didn’t coordinate to come together, not with schedules holding them back and the doctor waving them away with policies regarding visitation and how it was not good to tire out Ji hyo. The press had been quiet after the company fed those statements about Ji hyo adjusting to the set and that she was working so hard to make a great comeback.

 

It was all flashy and happy at the surface, but inside, Ji hyo and Jong kook hadn’t talked even if it was already a day after Ji hyo woke up.

 

They were waiting for one another, Ji hyo for the right time, and Jong kook for time until he was worthy.

 

---------------

 

Supper the day Ji hyo was discharged was unusually quiet with only Hyo Jong talking and they were just doing the customary laugh, a nod, a phrase. They had not said a word about the baby, yet. In fact, it had never been mentioned at all save for the time Ji hyo asked him about it. “Hyo Jong-ah, let’s go to bed? I’ll read you a story…” Jong kook said when Hyo Jong was almost done eating. It was timed perfectly, as if he was waiting for the chance to escape.

 

Those words stung and Ji hyo had to bite back her tears. She didn’t like where her mind were jumping. Was Jong kook thinking she would be like Eun hye who’d choose to be out there, be a celebrity, an entertainer, a singer or whatever it takes to be on the stage? She thought he was just worried, but it was much deeper than that.

 

In Hyo Jong’s room, Jong Kook stood there tensely then helped Hyo Jong into her pajamas. He wanted to kill himself for running away. He wanted to tell her so badly that it was not what she was thinking, but he couldn’t force the words out of his mouth. It felt like words weren’t enough anymore.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   

                                                    

“Appa!” He looked down to find Hyo Jong staring wide-eyed at him, her little form quivering as she fought tears away. He realized her was gripping her arms tightly, scaring the little angel. He hugged her tight. “I’m so sorry… I’m sorry.”

“Appa, did… d-did you and omma fight? Did I do something wrong?” he hugged her even closer, wanting to hide the tears he could no longer hold. His insides twisted in disgust to himself. Even Hyo Jong had felt it and he the useless man he was, still couldn’t go out the door to the woman he loved so much. The woman he loved and hurt.

 

---------------

 

It wasn’t supposed to be like this…thought Jade as he watched the pathetic human seeking refuge in a young child. He was almost so sure that this was it… that he would finally solve his own equation. But Jong kook’s actions was telling him he’d have to wait another thousand of years or maybe a million more before he’d finally get his answers.

 

“I thought there was nothing to worry about?”

 

Jade’s pride and innate stubbornness prevented him from answering and he only shrugged. He was so confident before, but now he couldn’t face the woman. He vanished without a word and went to earth, muttering things about kicking Jong kook so hard he’d found himself back in prehistoric times with cave dwellers who look and act so much like him. If he’s unluckier, he might even find himself faced with large carnivorous reptiles who’d never hesitate to eat him. The things Jade would like to do with the stubborn coward who reminded him of the first being who attempted the Equation.

 

Jade watched the mortal he wanted so badly to beat up. He had done everything but give back one more item. The time god couldn’t tell Jong kook what to do with it, but he had to trust the man.

 

---------------

 

“Jade…” Jong kook’s eyes flickered with hope, but Jade wasn’t there to save him. Jade had already done a lot and he’d be carted off if he did more. The time god went to a corner, away from the sleeping child.

 

“Hey kiddo, I just thought I’d give you back this.” Jade tossed something to Jong kook, the tiny metal glinted in the dark. It was what he wanted to get Ji hyo after noticing that they were missing something as husband and wife.

 

“You dropped this the first night you arrived in the future.”

“Why doesn’t the other Jong kook wear it?” he asked as he examined it in his hand.

“I think you know why. Would you wear it?”

“No, not yet.”

 

I don’t deserve it, yet.

 

---------------

 

Jong kook hesitated for the nth time, wondering if he should continue his plan. He had to, or what would he do? Say sorry again? Tell Ji hyo the truth? No, those things wouldn’t solve their problem anymore. He was the problem.

 

Don’t think anymore, don’t say anything anymore…

 

Show them.

 

As if that was easy…

 

He let his hand drop to his sides, abandoning any thoughts of opening the door to her. Maybe it’s really not yet the time. When he comes back, he wanted to be the Jong kook who could make her happy. Jade said the Equation was for him, he needed to find that one last piece of the puzzle.

 

Eun Hye = forgiveness

Ji hyo = love

Sang Hae, his omma = her son

Jong Myung = a dongsaeng’s promise

Hyo Jong and Eunie = their father

 

But the biggest one he needed to solve, what about Jong kook’s Equation?

 

Ji hyo could feel it. That heavy, dreadful feeling on the other side. She knew he was there. If only he’d open the door, they could just forget everything and be happy. It wouldn’t be easy but they’d be together. She’d show him that it wouldn’t be like the past, that things would be different if they choose to. She only needs him to come and accept it.

 

Ji hyo waited a minute, an hour, a second, more… she endured years already, and he came back. He’d come back this time too. She waited there, her forehead resting on the cold frame of the door. She could feel him on the other side, still hesitating.

 

Come to me, just come to me…

 

A drop of tear fell on the carpeted flooring, followed by more, accompanied by the sound of footsteps. It created a sad harmony of pain. Those footsteps weren’t towards her, it slowly faded until there was no more. However, in her heart, she’d never forget that sound of him walking away from her, again.

 

“…break up so they could stop hurting each other…”

 

Those words from Jeju came crashing back to her. Was this his answer? Would it really lessen the pain? Because right there, Ji hyo finally knew how it felt for your heart to be mended with careful stitches, only for it to be crushed again a million times badly, by the same person who fixed it.

 

Still, she opened the door, hoping he’d be there even if she knew he wouldn’t. All she found was a ring, the wedding ring she never saw him wore.

 

You idiot… you love me but you only keep on running away… and now are you telling me to go?

If only you didn’t keep on giving me hope, maybe I had already let go of you already…

 

I had already decided never to let you go… I’d wait until you’re ready, you idiot…

 

---------------

 

“Omma, where’s appa?”

 

Ji hyo stopped stirring her coffee and took a deep sigh. She doesn’t know too. Still, she forced a smile and turned to Hyo Jong. “Appa had to do something with Shi Yoon samchon, don’t worry he’ll come home soon.”

“When?” Hyo Jong asked again with a voice that was awfully familiar. Hyo Jong grew up asking those questions, but today it was different. She wasn’t too young anymore not to be hurt, she was old enough to doubt.

 

Ji hyo went to her daughter and engulfed her with a warm embrace. “Omma, will he… will he come back?” Her small voice was frightened and trembling. It hurt Ji hyo to hear it.

 

“Of course.” she said without a doubt.

---------------

 

“Hyung, are you sure this is okay?” the younger one asked as he wiped the sweat off his brows. Yesterday he had found Jong kook, not in a bar but in a gym. It seemed his hyung spent a day there working out like a madman.

 

“One more.” Jong kook heaved as he tried to steal the ball away from Joong Ki. The actor easily dodged the bigger guy and scored another basket. “Why are you so good at this Joong Ki-yah?”

“I’m not, but you’ve never been any good with balls even if you are the commander.”

“I’m not that great as they think.”

“You’ve already proved that to me a lot, you’re nothing special at all.”

 

 Jong kook didn’t mind for it was all true, he even nodded in agreement. “But if I try I could do it, right?” Joong ki wasn’t able to move for the ball was cleanly taken away from him and it shot to the air. He turned around in surprise, but the ball hit the metal hoop and then bounced back to Joong Ki’s direction.

 

“Aissh! Just a bit more and I could’ve…” Yesterday, the same guy couldn’t even dribble without getting into some sort of mishap, but now... Joong Ki tried to hide a little smile and passed the ball hard to his hyung. “Aw! Yah!’

 

Jong kook collapsed on the ground, his back on the cold hard ground. He was sweating, breathing hard. He has to go back to her, but he hadn’t found the answer. His heart twisted thinking of what could happen to Ji hyo and his children while he was gone.

 

Joong Ki decided to leave the place knowing that he had done more than enough.

 

Two days ago, he found Jong kook on the gym, working out so hard without a care. When he asked what he was doing, the older one mumbled about finding himself. He dragged the hyung outside despite Gap Jin and his own manager stopping them.

 

Jong kook turned to Joong Ki when they arrived in the parking lot and said, “Punch me.” Joong Ki clenched his fist, gritted his teeth and with all his strength, he landed a solid hit on his hyung’s jaw. Jong kook staggered, and didn’t say a word even as Joong Ki forced him to the car. The two managers were left worried but unable to do anything.

 

They were driving for a while but no one spoke. Jong kook flexed his jaw but otherwise he was very still, only staring outside.

 

“Hyung, I shouldn’t have hit you.”

“I deserved more.” To that, Joong Ki nodded.

 

“What are your plans now?” Jong kook didn’t answer right away.

 

“I-I need to find myself… be worthy.” he answered not knowing how he would do that. Joong Ki didn’t ask anymore but he snickered. “Hyung, why was it so hard? Why couldn’t the answer be simpler? She loves you, you love her…”

“She deserved more than I could give for now… she deserved a better me without the baggage –”

“She loved you and your demons hyung. Noona was hurting, not because of your past but because you couldn’t accept that she had already embraced that.”

 

He was right. Jong kook thought, but still, the equation needs to be solved. “You seem to know a lot…”

“I had always watched.”

“You like her.” Jong kook blurted out accusingly. It was followed by an awkward silence.

 

“I love her.” Just three words, Jong kook wished it was how he loved.

 

--------------------

 

Jong kook restlessly watched as rain poured hard outside. The actor had left him in the farm that had been home to him for two days with a warning to hurry and come back. He was thankful for the silence. It didn’t give him peace but if he was going to find himself, he had to embrace the darkness alone.

 

His thoughts drifted off and found a place in his mind that he rarely visited. He doesn’t know where it would lead him, but as if in some sort of magic, Jong kook felt like he was literally forced back into the past.

 

It was a warm and humid day, Sang Hae, Jong kook’s mom, was smiling gently to him as they prepared rice cakes. “When will appa come home?” His mother stilled for a while. He didn’t see that sad smile on her face for he was contented at the words he heard. “Soon, I’m sure he wouldn’t miss your birthday.”

 

The little boy waited eagerly, killing off time by playing with his toy car outside, after helping in the kitchen. Some neighborhood kids passed by, called out to Jong kook and asked him to play with them but he refused. “I’ll go next time Jung Yeol-ah, my appa is coming home today.”

“Your appa won’t be coming home! Your appa has another –” a cheeky kid fell to the ground even before he finished his sentence. Jung Yeol placed himself in between the kid and a fuming Jong kook.

 

“Yah, stop it Jong kook-ah… I’m sorry.” Jong kook looked at his playmate and friend, and then at the kid he just punched. “I also heard about it… from the elders.” Jung Yeol said softly, not meeting him in the eye. Jong kook hated the things he saw there, pity, being sorry, being seen as different. Why?

 

“I’m never going to play with you again anymore Jung Yeol-ah!” he shouted and ran back to the house to meet his hyung’s stern gaze. Did his hyung know? His tears finally fell.

 

Appa is coming home. Appa promised.

 

Jong kook waited until the rice cakes and seaweed soup grew cold. His mother placed them in the fridge and Jong kook smiled to her. “We could heat it when appa comes home, right?”

 

His mother nodded.

 

-----

 

It had been days and the rice cakes spoiled. Jong kook ran away, crying, when his mother threw them away.

 

That was the day he first used the word hate.

 

-----

 

The day his father left for the last time, was when he was finally slapped hard with the truth. He shouldn’t have hoped something would still change. He thought he could hope but then he was betrayed for the nth time. Even those rice cakes would never be edible again.

-----

 

 

He’d been trouble. He did things that made him numb that he couldn’t feel anymore how disgusted he was at himself. He had overcome it, but he had never forgotten nor forgave.

 

There were women before in his life, but after his rebellious years, he had focused on being a singer. He became the tough guy who wouldn’t get near a woman. Maybe he was scared of hurting them, he wasn’t sure, but he had always feared that he’d turn out just like his father.

 

Jong kook stopped wondering about his past and did something he had never imagined he would.

 

----------------

 

Jong kook stopped the car seeing the house number of the one he was looking for. He had never been there, but he had always known that address.

 

His heart raced on his chest as he walked towards the high-walled property. No one was in sight and he wondered what he was doing there. A light in the house lit up and he instinctively ducked low. Doing so made him see something, which made him stop breathing for a while.

 

In the spacious front yard, a tall pine tree stood, bringing back another set of memories he had carefully locked away.

 

---------------

 

“Appa…” Jong kook ran after the man who walked faster away from him. They were on a field and he laughed merrily, happy to be with his father whom he rarely saw. “Appa! Appa!” he called over and over again. Kim Jong soo finally looked back to his son and smiled. When Jong kook reached him, his father picked him up and raised him to the skies effortlessly.

 

Jong kook felt so happy and free being high up in the air. He looked around and inhaled the pine-scented air. He ended up in his father’s shoulders and they went towards the small hut in silence. “Appa… pine trees.” The little Kim said.

 

“Neh, pine trees.”

“Big.”

“Hmm…”

“I want to be like them when I grow up.” he said proudly, making his father chuckle. Jong Soo tried to tickle his son, but Jong kook caught his finger.

 

“You’re fast.”

“Pine tree.”

“Really? Well…”

“I can’t?”

“If you believe, you can… but appa would like it better if you grow like a pine tree. Honorable, strong but wise.”

“I will.” Jong kook said confidently, looking up at the oldest and biggest pine tree he had ever seen. Jong kook never forgot that moment even if he tried to.

 

-----

 

Appa…

 

He doesn’t know if he has forgiven Kim Jong Soo, his father, but maybe he could finally learn to understand. Or maybe, he never really hated him.

 

He feared to be like him. Hated it when he broke his promise. Hated that he believed even when the truth was laid bare in front of him. He could condemn the man’s behavior, hate everything he did, but still, in his memories, little Jong kook called for his appa over and over again.

 

Jong kook inhaled the faint scent of the pine tree in the air. Wondering what to feel at the knowledge of his appa never forgetting about him.

-----

From inside the big house, Jong Soo also watched. He didn’t dare let his son know he was there. Seeing Jong kook was already too much for the kind of father he was.

-----

Jong kook stared at the tree, then at the house. He doesn’t know if he wanted to see the man who abandoned him, but he felt a certain calmness inside him. He finally realized what he had to do.

 

Accept who he was. He was Jong Soo’s son, not Jong Soo. He was an idiot, who is in love with the beautiful Song Ji hyo, his Cheon Seung Im.

-----

Jong soo’s tears finally fell seeing the peaceful look on Jong kook’s face. He doesn’t know if Jong kook would forgive him, it was too much to ask. He only wished his son to find happiness, and that his betrayal wouldn’t hinder Jong kook in anyway. Jong Soo wept as the barrage of guilt and regrets filled him, making him ache desperately.

-----

Jong kook smiled at something, which struck him oddly.

 

In China, pine trees were called Song.

 

He turned away and left. Fate or not, it was telling him to go back already.

 

---------------

 

“Hyo Jong-ah, let’s…” Ji hyo’s words trailed off when she saw the pieces of paper scattered on the floor. She stepped forward to pick up one, her heart thumped wildly against her chest. In the picture, Hyo Jong had drawn three figures, the biggest one was obviously she, the little one, was Hyo Jong, and then there was a small baby.

 

They were all sad and crying. Jong kook was nowhere in any of the illustrations.

 

It was already three days since he left. She didn’t want to go back to filming tomorrow without talking to him. She somehow felt as if she should tell him it would be okay. That he need not fear for her safety.

 

But Jong kook never called.

 

Still she trusted the little voice telling her to wait patiently.

 

---------------

 

Jong kook woke up again for the third time that night. He glanced at the clock and groaned when he saw that it was only 25 minutes after the second time he has woken up. He curled and buried himself in the covers.

 

He opened his eyes in defeat and stared at the almost full hourglass. He didn’t know if his father was involved in the Equation but he certainly felt a lot better.

 

He was trying so hard not to be like his father, considering the man a monster. He had forgotten those little times, short moments, which made his father’s betrayal hurt too much. His leaving them hurt because he loved his father too much and it took him years to finally accept that.

 

Eun hye’s leaving also left a void that made everything hard. He wished he was whole, not the man he was right now. He wished…

 

…noona loved you, even the demons…

 

Joong ki’s words echoed in his mind. He tried to push it away but there was something in those words.

 

Could it be?

 

Jong kook blinked the tears away. Did she really ask forgiveness for that? Eun hye chose him… she wasn’t sorry for being weak because she knew he'd accept her like how Ji hyo accepted him. She was sorry because, Eun Hye knew him well… she knew he’d never try to be happy. That he would never betray her. She was asking forgiveness because her light has left a big shadow over him.

 

Jong kook placed his hand over his chest and smiled sadly. 

 

---------------

 

Ji hyo groaned inwardly as a wave of dizziness hit her. She tried to block it away, burying herself further to the covers.  Still, she could taste the bile at the back of . Blinking rapidly, she tried to focus and ran to the bathroom where she emptied her stomach.

 

With tears in her eyes, Ji hyo continued to gag. The wooziness was unforgiving. She reached for the tissues but it was empty. She looked for a towel, but as luck would have it, there was none at the moment. “! !” She curled on the bathroom floor in frustration, crying in a muffled way, not wanting anyone to hear her.

 

A towel materialized in front of her and she stared at it. Ji hyo cried louder and grabbed the towel angrily. She wiped her face and blew her nose before standing up to face Jong kook. She glared at him and threw the towel hard at his face. He didn’t budge nor did he say anything.

 

“Yah! Song Jong kook! Song Jong kook!” She launched onto him, her hands getting tangled all over his hair as she pulled. Jong kook never spoke a word. Ji hyo was still going after his hair trying to deal some damage, but she knew she wasn’t causing any serious pain at all.

 

“You took so long…" She cried, finally settling on hitting Jong kook’s chest, then changed her mind into snuggling to it. “I’ve waited so long for you.”

“I know…” he finally gained the courage to hug her back, softly at first as if afraid of crushing her. “I’m not fine china you know.” As if on cue, he tightened his embrace, inhaling her scent, wishing he didn't hurt her so much.

 

“Ji hyo-yah… I’m not perfect but would you still accept me?”

“Yes. That wasn’t a question at all.”

 

“I have a lot of flaws… I am an idiot. It takes me a long time to understand some stuff.”

“I had already known about that. Babo-yah.”

 

“Ji hyo-yah, I couldn’t change my past but I will do everything for us... for Hyo Jong and for Ji Seung. Would you be able to live with that?”

“Yes. Ji Seung?” Ji hyo asked. Jong kook nodded.

 

“I vowed to make you happy but I made you cry a lot.”

“I know you regret them. I also wondered about my love… but it was stupid. When we love someone, there’s no boundary… there’s no too much, or too less…” Ji hyo breathed deeply. She needed to say it aloud. “I’m not her. I am not the past Jong kook-ah…”

“I know, pine tree, you are Song. My Cheon Seung Im. Thank you for loving a man like me.” Ji hyo looked up to him. Her eyes were soft and moist. Jong kook would never cease to stop falling in love with her over and over again.

 

“I had already accepted all those, but if you ever leave me again –” Jong kook’s lips was almost on hers to cut her words, but Ji hyo pushed him away with a strength that stunned him. She rushed to the bathroom again and vomited in the toilet.

 

“Are you sick of me Ji hyo-yah?” Jong kook said, dumbfounded. He knew pregnant women were sensitive and many things upset them, well he did upset her, but throwing up when he's about to kiss her? Ji hyo waved him away as she rinsed . She wouldn’t even let him near.

 

“Song Ji hyo.”

“What?” she shouted in mock annoyance.  “You talk so much Kim Jong kook. I also need to tell you that I won’t stop filming.”

“I’m not asking you to.”

 

Ji hyo stared at him.

 

“You wouldn’t?”

“I would never want you to choose… it’s not a problem at all.”

 

Ji hyo chuckled. “Kim Jong kook, is that really you? Looks like your meditation at the mountains worked.”

“You knew where I went?”

 

Ji hyo smiled but it shouldn’t be surprising anymore. Joong ki obviously thought it would pacify Ji hyo if she knew where he is.

 

“I have one more thing to ask you…” he searched her eyes and Ji hyo could almost guess what it was. “Song Ji hyo, will you marry me?” Ji hyo looked at him in surprise, she was wrong about thinking Jong kook just had another cheesy line to say. “Again?” he added.

 

It was a cheesy line all right. Instead of saying yes, Ji hyo took out the ring Jong kook has left behind.

 

---

hey guys I'm sorry for not being around. For four days I stayed away from the net. I had to think a lot, I got a bit down... thanks for the patience and I really am very sorry. I was selfish when I thought I can't finish this. I wish I made more sense, but I just felt like I am a disappointment and this chapter was in the laptop for a week, I couldn't edit it until yesterday, I realized people were waiting... >_<

thank you so much for reading especially for those who stuck with me until now.

Umm another thing. I accidentally saw tieba-baidu, and my stories were posted there. I felt conflicted since I didn't know about it, I don't know what to think. You guys were just putting it there in English, it's not even translated (unless I haven't opened the right place?) so why do you have to repost it there? Just go here and read... I hope I wasn't too harsh, thanks for the effort anyway. The translation by google was weird, but I appreciate those people who read it there and commented (I have no idea though if you liked it, I wish I didn't look like a fool).