~ Chapter Nine ~

Two weeks later my first article was featured in the monthly issue of Top Idol. I received much praise from it, thanks to the extra information Leeteuk had provided me! It was reported that Top Idol’s ratings had risen also, this was definitely a great start to my new career. To celebrate my success Soong Gi treated me to a big dinner, like he said he would.

One night, clutching the newest issue of Top Idol, I made my way back to my suite like every other night. Half way down that hall my cell phone rang inside my bag so I scrambled through the contents of my bag to pick up the call. I finally found the vibrating phone and focused on the screen; “Incoming call: Donghae” Omo…I hadn’t seen Donghae since…since that night…I hesitantly picked up the call; “Yo…yobeoseyo?” There was a long pause but finally a voice answered from the other end, “Uh…it’s Donghae. Where are you now? Is it alright if we meet up now and have a talk? Please?”, “Mmm…I’m just about home but um…sure, let’s meet up then. Meet in front of Seoul Tower in fifteen minutes?” I heard a sigh of relief coming from the other end; “Sure, fifteen minutes, see you there.” He hung up the call and I dropped my cell phone back in my bag. I stood there for a moment and took in a breath, and then I retraced my steps out of the Grand Hall and headed for Seoul Tower.

Miinah Street Apartments wasn’t far from Seoul Tower because from the window in the master bedroom I could see the eye catching building clearly. I expected I’d be at Seoul Tower before Donghae but once I got there I saw his tall, handsome figure in the distance…I began making my way over to him, trying to rapidly calm my nerves. When I got close enough I noticed that Donghae was wearing a black suit jacket and matching pants, it seemed like he had rushed here from program recording. When I came face to face with Donghae he smiled at me, the same smile I fell for when I first saw him…suddenly Donghae reached for my hand. He began leading me towards an empty bench under the shade of a blossoming tree, scattered with fairy lights. We both sat there and didn’t say anything at all. I flinched when he reached for my injured wrist, it had almost recovered but still needed to be wrapped in a light bandage, then he rested it gently on his lap. “Listen girl…I don’t know how to apologize…what I did is not like me…it’s just that-“ before he could go on I put my finger to his lips and said “No Donghae, you don’t need to explain anything, you don’t need to apologize”. I looked up into his deep and innocent eyes…I couldn’t stand it any longer and forced myself to look away. Donghae put his hand against my cheek and tilted my head so our eyes met again and he gently spoke again, “No…from high school right up until now I’ve thought about you every day. All this time I’ve tried to forget about you…do you know how hard it is? I wanna love you…I can’t live without you…” I was lost for words once I heard his confession and tears began stinging my eyes. “I’m sorry…please don’t love me like this…you deserve someone better, and that person is not me.” Sadness grew in Donghae’s eyes as he knelt down in front of me and asked “Just answer this question, it’s all I ask of you…have you ever loved me?” the tears began filling up my eyes as I struggled to answer “I wanna love you…but it’s just not possible. I’ve hurt you Donghae and I can’t bear to love you anymore…please just let it go…” Donghae clutched my arm with his hand and I looked once more into his eyes and quietly said, “Your eyes, I’ll never forget them…”