EunJi didn’t know what she expected HyunJoong to run after her. To grab her by the waist and tell her to wait. To tell her to stay? No that wasn’t his style. At least not when it came to her. She was a fool to be usurped by the fantasy of being a part of this family. It only when he brought her down to reality, sitting on that bed.

She was back in the dorm. Sitting on Jaejoong’s bed holding her legs up to her chest. She felt even lonelier than if she had been alone this whole time. Hope was the killer. It gave her something shiny before pulling it away.

That was how the boys found her. First it was Changmin who had the shortest commute, living in Seoul. He put his headphone on her head then moved three beds together. Junsu came back and sat on the bed with them, popping in a movie in on the TV. Yunho was next who promptly called Jaejoong who came bringing food and JiJi. EunJi coveted JiJi, who ran to her the moment Jaejoong set down the struggling cat. Yunho covered her with a blanket and Jaejoong placed food on the bed to eat. Yoochun was last to arrive with a huge bottle of lemonade. All of them where spread out on the beds. All of them were watching EunJi. EunJi was in Yunho’s strong arms, JiJi in her arms.

Jaejoong flipped his phone open and started texting.

“Don’t.” They all looked up at her.

“HyunJoong kidnaped me. Brought me to meet his family. I had a good time. I was delusional. I came back to the dorm. I was stupid. It isn’t his fault.” Jaejoong’s growl told her otherwise.

EunJi spent most of next days in the studio with Eric and Minwoo. Shinhwa’s new CD was being worked on and she loved spending hours listening to them. The New Year ’s Eve was spent with take-out Chinese food recording and writing. As the clock inched closer to midnight, the guys left to parties and drinking places. Soon by midnight it was only Dongwan and Eric. Dongwan was going over the tracks, while EunJi was sitting by Eric. Paper was strewn all over the floor, with words scratched out and written over. Hurt was written at the top of the page. Eric and EunJi poured over the words that seemed to flowed from her heart. It was time to put down her feelings and leave. No matter how many times she said she would, this had to be the last time.

The days got busier after New Year’s. The production crew had them do New Year messages to the fans.

“HyunJoong you can leave early today, I know your new CD is coming out and the single release.” THe director came over to where he was sitting. EunJi frowned. She didn’t even know that he was working on a comeback. Maybe this was a good sign. She wasn’t obsessing anymore. She sighed went into her trailer.

There came a knocking on her door. The director was standing there.  EunJi didn’t like the guilty look that played across his face.

“EunJi, we were hoping that you would go to the release party for HyunJoong’s new CD. It would give us some good press for the drama.” She moaned.

“Director….” A part of her loved that she had an excuse to go, but the other part of her dreaded the idea of going. “Do I have to go? Can’t I take a picture with the CD and release a statement?” She looked at the director and sighed. “Fine.” She hated being the reliable happy person. People expected to do whatever they said with a smile on her face. “Aish, I have nothing to wear.”

EunJi was annoyed. DBSK were filming all night and Seungho was at location shooting. She had no one to go with to the release party. She didn’t want to bother Shinhwa either, seeing they were preparing for their new CD.

EunJi sighed. If it was up to her she would go in jeans and a tank top with no make-up and her hair up in a bun. That was not acceptable. It was as if the director and PDs knew her mind, they had sent over a make-up artist, stylist and hair dresser. “They don’t trust me,” muttered EunJi as she was pushed into wardrobe.

All the dresses in front of her were pretty, but they weren’t here. They were like the LBD she wore to Park JungMin’s release party. They were all too short, too tight, and too love cut. She allowed herself to be stuffed into a tight red silk mini. Her hair was up in a ‘fashionable’ style, while her sever make-up made her look sallow.

As soon as all the help left she took every off. She wiped her face clean, stripped the dress off and washed her hair. She wasn’t going to go to an event she didn’t want to go to in as something she wasn’t. When in doubt call Minwoo.

EunJi sat on the couch in leggings and Changmin’s shirt. Her hair was air drying as she waited for the explosion to arrive. Minwoo minutes later came burst through. He was carrying garment bags, and make up cases. Eric followed with boxes of shoes. Minwoo laid out all the clothing and shoes before her.

“This was so last minute EunJi, I barely was able to grab anything from the racks.” EunJi was under Shinhwa’s sponsors. Shinhwa had some purely women’s clothing brands just because of EunJi. Minwoo grimanced when he saw the red dress that she had been forced into. “You were right to call me.”  

They picked a white lace mini dress. It went in at the waist and flared out a little. The back had a cut out. It was maybe 2 inches longer then where she hands fell naturally at her side. Her hair was down natural, and her make-up was in the gold and bronze tones. Minwoo decided to overrule Eric’s choice of red heels for the more conservative black pump.

“What is this for again?” Minwoo asked as he looked at the jewelry on the table.

“The director and PDs want me to go to HyunJoong’s CD release party…. They just told me today…” A growl could be heard from Eric as he glared at the wall.

“Do you want us to come with you?” Minwoo pulled out his cellphone, ready to make the call. She smiled. Again it hit her how blessed she was to having such amazing friends.

“No, I’ll be fine alone. I just want to sneak in and out. You guys did enough, this dress is amazing.” She hugged the boys before spinning in the mirror again.

HyunJoong was in panic mode. Hyori was still angry about Christamas, the director and PD wanted EunJi to come to his release party, his new CD was dropping, and his single was going to come out. It was a lot happening in one day. On top of that he kept wondering if Hyori was even going to show and if EunJi would be bring a date. People started to arrive and he had to play the good host. Put on a smile, shake hands, bow, and accept the congratulations.

He sighed he didn’t see either of the two women in the crowd of people. The DJ was spinning some of his older songs and it made him remember when those songs had come out.

“Are you okay?” His head jerked to up see EunJi standing in front of him with a worried look in her eyes. “Don’t be nervous, your fans have been waiting for this and they will love it no matter what. That is what matters right?” She smiled and walked in. He was dazed by the white dress, her heels, her hair. Her make up.

It was the first time that she was at his CD release party. Before he would stop her from going in fear of someone realizing that they were close. Even when DBSK would come to SS501’s CD release party, EunJi would be absent. He smiled; she looked nervous, more nervous than him, which was hilarious. He watched as she saw JungMin and went over to him.

The night went on; he would glance around time to time to see where EunJi was or to see if Hyori had shown up. The clock ticked closer and closer to midnight. He started to over think his choices. Maybe he didn’t pick the right single; maybe he shouldn’t have even recorded it. What if it was too obvious? The fans were smart. He sighed.

“And now the man of the moment, KIM HYUNJOONG!!!” The spot light found him, and he walked up to the stage.

“Ah, Thank you all for coming out and supporting me. It means a lot. I have worked hard on this album and I hope you give it a lot of love. Working on the album and the drama at the same time has been stressful, but also fulfilling. Here is my single, enjoy.” The music came on.

I guess I did not know
I guess you did not know
That we are standing too close like this
We can’t really let this beautiful thing disappears
Now you will understand me

[Flash back]

EunJi was sitting on the couch reading a book when he came home. He dropped his bags and collapsed on the couch. He head landing on her lap.

‘You are such a baby,’ but he felt her fingers running through his hair.

[Present]

I’m sorry that I didn’t know the reason behind those tears

I’m sorry, now I’m right in front of you

As he sang his eyes lingered on EunJi.

[Flash back]

“She was crying.” A pissed Jaejoong was standing in front of him.

“Jaejoong, I just want to go out and drink tonight. Can’t we talk about this later?”

“No.” Jaejoong stood there looking more and more like a diva. “My baby is crying at night when she thinks no one can hear her. Why would that be?” He sighed.

“I don’t know Jaejoong, maybe because she didn’t get the part she wanted in a drama.”

“You are so dense Kim HyunJoong.”

[Present]

I’m so foolish

For not knowing what’s inside your heart
It seems to be in pain
Without you I don’t happiness
Now I understand what love is

He didn’t know what the reactions were from his guests. He never really had a slow song for his single. It was always some dance music or upbeat.

Thank you for teaching me about love

Thanks you, now I will know how to love you more

One More Time One More Time
Can you return to my side once again?
I will always love you
I’ll never regret, I will only love you
One More Time One More Time
I love you, I love you
Will you accept me again someday?
Please let me return it to you
The love you always gave me
Just hold my hand…

He remembered writing this melody when they were still together. The words were changed, well some of them, but it was basically the same. He saw EunJi staring at him as the song ended. People were clapping, he could hear it, but EunJi wasn’t.

“Baby!” He turned to see Hyori. He wanted to push her aside. To tell her she came at the worst times. To tell Hyori to leave. Because he knew what she was going to say. “Of course I will love you!! Our fight was stupid! It was so sweet that you wrote this song for me.” He smiled and nodded, allowing Hyori to hang on him.

The Dj started to spin his new cd and people came up to him to compliment the song.

“You’re a coward.” The night had been winding up, and people were leaving. He turned to see EunJi standing there. “That song was written way before any fight you two had. Plus your latest fight was after this CD was even created. Is it so hard to tell her that it wasn’t about her?”

“Who said it wasn’t?” He hated feeling attacked. That alongside his ability to always say the wrong thing to her, made him know this wasn’t going to end well.

“You wrote that when we...”

“Be quiet,” he hissed looking around.

“You still…. I thought, no.” EunJi was looking at him. “You are right. That song isn’t anything but Hyori’s. It has always been her and always will be. She was always in your mind. Hell when you wrote this I bet you were thinking of her. I’m done. I’m stupid and I can’t. I thought we were becoming friends again…”

“Why would you think that?” His heart was pounding.

“I met your family, we spent Christmas together, I hoped that it was you who wanted me here for your release party.” The look in her eyes wasn’t as if she was about to burst into tears, it was more of a confusion.

“That was a mistake.” Those words slipped from his mouth.

“I see that now.” She started to walk away, but stopped and turned to him. “You know, you really know how to turn every good memory bad. You can’t even let me keep those can you?” There was a determination on her voice that made him step back.

He was a coward. Again he was watching her walk out. How many times would he try to get her back and fail because he was too proud, too dumb, or too stubborn to admit he was wrong and tell her. Tell her what he did think about all the time. What he missed. What he wanted.

**Song wasOne More Time – Kim Hyun Joong (Ost. Playfull Kiss)