Mary's POV- at the airport in New York

I couldn't wait to see my best friend after our time away from each other. Hana really needed to be away from things back home though, so I was happy she went. We had talked several times on the phone too, but it's not quite the same as talking in person.

Kris and I had agreed to casually dating and we had been going on some dates lately. Without Hana being there for a short time we spent a lot of time together before we headed back to school. Kris actually went with my dad & I to go to school this semester. 

He and dad talked like they were still old "pals", but with me I just felt like he was so different from me. The way he speaks and acts around me is so different. I mean he still has the same personality and all, but he's just more grown up? 

He's been talking to me a lot about God and his faith -just like Hana has always been. He's so passionate about it that it makes me feel like I'm just so different from him. It makes me feel like I'm missing out on something, but I don't want to give in at the same time.

I want to be in charge of my own life. I don't want to be living under someone's guidelines. I don't want to not be me anymore. I like the me I am....I think? I know what I want to do with my life....well maybe not entirely, but I think I do pretty good on my own. Sure I've prayed to God and it's made me feel better, but I think that in general makes anyone feel better to tell their problems or concerns to someone else. What's the big deal about it all anyways?

I've been going to church and things with him and Hana, but it's mostly to spend time with them. Plus, you can't really beat singing and socializing even if it's with people that aren't necessarily your cup of tea. I keep thinking of more and more questions, but I'm a little afraid to ask even one of them -what if the answer isn't what I want to hear? I'd have to change and change is scary.

Kris' POV

I went with Mary to the airport since I didn't want her to go alone and I figured I could give Hana a hand with her bags. Mary was pacing with a pensive expression on her face and I couldn't quite read waht was going through her head. She was starting to give me a stiff neck with watching her go back and forth like that. 

"What's eating you?" I asked slinging my arm around her shoulder when she stopped briefly. 

"Stuff." she said trying to shrug my arm off and keep pacing. 

"Like what kind of stuff?" I asked her as she walked away.

"Personal stuff."

"Do you need to talk about it? We still have some time before Hana lands."

"I don't think I want to."

"Do you need me to get you anything?" I asked thinking she was talking about girl problems.

"No, I'm fine."

"You don't look fine, you look like you ate a pinecone and it's knawing away at your insides."

"You're such a weirdo!" she huffed.

"I know! Aren't you happy to be seeing Hana?"

"Yes"

"Then why are you acting like this?"

"Like what?"

"All antsy and look like you could crush someone mentally the way you're frowning so hard."

She rolled her eyes at me -great! Now she's going to be more huffy.

I sighed "Wouldn't you feel better if you just tell me what's wrong?"

"No, because I don't feel like getting a lecture."

"How do you know I'd give you a lecture?"

"Because that's what always happens when we talk about that subject."

"What subject?"

"You know," she said with an eye roll "God, the Bible, Jesus, and stuff."

"Wait, you feel like I lecture you when I talk about all of that?"

"Yes." she said looking like I was the dumbest person on the planet.

"I don't mean it to be a lecture, I just want you to know the peace and feeling that I recieved now that I know the truth."

"I know, but it still feels like it."

"I won't apologize for my beliefs, but I really, really want you to feel and know what I do now."

"Why?"

"I love you, and I don't want you to end up somewhere I could have prevented you from being in the future."

She looked at me with an expression of bewilderment. "What?"

"I don't want you to go to hell someday. I want you to be with God someday in heaven. I want you to grow in Christ with me. I want you to spend the rest of your life with me, but I don't want to disobey God and marry someone who doesn't share the same beliefs as me. I.....I'm trying to figure out if God wants me to let you go or if I should keep pursuing you." I took a deep breath and put a hand over my eyes trying not to end up crying. 

Her jaw just about dropped from what I could see through my fingers. "I..."

We were both speechless for a moment before I thought of something that would help me get an answer if she was the girl for me or if God wanted me to move on. "Mary, would you be willing to study the bible with me? You can ask all the questions you like and I can't guarantee I have all the answers, but I don't want to just leave things as they are."

Mary's POV

Did Kris seriously almost propose to me and yet almost break up with me in the same speech?! My jaw dropped and all I could sputter was an "I..."

His next speech made me squirm a little bit. 'Do I really want to get answers to my questions? Do I still love him even though he's changed? Why would I have to change in order to marry him? Why couldn't things be simple again?'

I contemplated silently for a moment more, but my voice seemed to spill out before I knew really what I was saying. "I will."

'I just agreed to study the Bible with him?! Where did that come from? This is sort of freaking me out! I want Hana to come soon before we talk about more things.'

"Thank you," he said grinning "You don't know how happy you've made me."

"Kris! Mary!" we heard a familiar voice calling our names.

"Hey Hana!" greeted Kris "How was California?"

"Great! Mary!!!!!!!" she said hugging me with a gusto that wasn't like her normal hug.

"I missed you so much" I said.

"Me too!" she agreed. "Don't worry Kris, I missed you too!"

"Thanks Hana, same here."

"Let's get to the dorms and settled you in."

"Yes!"

"Do we have the same one?"

"Yep, same as last time."

"Cool!" Let's go, because I'm pooped."

"You don't act pooped?" I querried.

"I ate a lot of sugar to wake up."

"I can tell.....you're like a crazy squirrel."

"Really?!"

"Yeah, I've never seen you quite so hyper before."

"Sorry! I'll probably crash the moment we leave the airport."

"It's all good Hana." said Kris laughing. "Let's just get us all back before curfew!"

Hana zonked out on the subway on the ride back to our part of the city, but we managed to wake her and get to our connecting trains in between snoozes. Today was quite a day for all of us I think -Hana's trip, Kris' heart to heart, and my agreement out of nowhere to do a Bible study with him. What am I thinking really?