Lynda walked downstairs and saw kyuhyun.she sat down and said hello. he looked at her with pierce, menacing eyes and said, “I don’t want to talk to you. I hate you.”

She woke up from her dream. Relieving a sigh she wnt downstairs only to see the sight of kyuhyun again, like she had for the past week and again, he didn’t eve look at her but she was quite used to this. Taking a spoon of her cereal and dabbing it into she looked at kyuhyun helplessly again. He was reading the newspaper and she wanted to say hello just for evidence that her dream wasn’t real and so, pluckering up the courage, she said hello but he didn’t even move an inch.

“hello...” she said again, this time waving and he still didn’t say hello, when she said it again he got up and left the room and the house. Yuuni returned to spot kyuyun whispering and then asked where he’d gone. Lynda didn’t want to lie. She just wanted to be frank, she needed someone to tell these things and she was her mother.

“I said hello and he left the house just after...?” she said and yuuni remained silent. “so in toher words, he hates me? my dreams must’ve been real. Not like I care.”

Yuuni sighed and then sat down on a table in front of her and said, “listen lynda, your dreams consist of your fears, pleasures and desires... you either fear that he hates you, meaning htat you don’t necessarily hate him or you either am pleased that he hates you which does not seem the case or you either desire that he hates you which...—“ she chuckled. “maybe, this is a sign that you don’t hate him as much as you think...”

“well I don’t like him.” Lynda said and she chuckled again.

“you never realise something until it’s gone Lynda...”

*  *  *   

Kyuhyun walked down the streets, his head down, he wasn’t in the mood today. He loked to his left upon noticing a post shop and he found the most perfect of all things he could’ve wanted currently. A diary. He needed a diary, he needed to pour everything away, inside but he needed one that provided a lock, so that none would ever see his thoughts, none will ever know. No one fromt he super junior house, not park not anyway and when he wrote his thoughts down he was to neve read it again.

He entered the shop and he could feel the atmosphere around it hit him like a bullet. It was immediately quiet and comfy. Theair conditioner gave of a very formal feel and he liked it. Outside was full of pedestrians screaming all over the place and cars honking at each other in rage. It was so annoying, but this, he liked it here. It was the only place now that cleared out his head, not make him think so much. He remembered the emperor area with the sofa and all and elegant china sets but then shrugged at it. That place was more for plotting revenge or admiring himelf. Right now, he didn’t feel like admiring himself.

He looked at the many diaries and took one which suited him. he then went to the cash register and brought it. Pretty expensive for a diary, he thought. It totalled up to 40 dollars and it wasn’t all that great (the lock must’ve been why) but it required long contents because of its long pages and he needed that right now, because when he got home, he was going to do some long writing.

When he did actually, get home he took a set on his computer area and opened it up to play starcraft then he took a pencil beside it and then turned the first page and wrote his name down then he flicked the pages and scanned to where the date was and took the lid off his pen and placed it at the end and began writing.

Dear diary:

Oh this sounds so lame but I need to tell you something. I have never been so confused in my life. Lynda said hi to me today. For a week, she finally said hi and what did I say? Nothing. In fact, I could tell that she would’ve talked to me on the very first day if I said something to her. But I dind’t. I can’t. Cause I don’t want anything that could interfere with my feelings for yuuni. I love yuuni... i tell her everyday and Lynda, she gets me all confused. Now that she is no longer the girl that hates me I can only see a girl in her, a girl that I shared many fond memories with and I don’t want to have a change of heart, I really don’t which is why I have to avoid her and have been. I feel like an idiot to have requested yuuni as a foster parent for Lynda, I really do but it was the only way, she was the perfect fit and I couldn’t stop Lynda from having the best mother in the world for my sake. Yuuni was Adopted... loves children, wants children, even thought of adopting her own children no matter how old because she was adopted at 11... she was perfect ofr the job. But now, now... I think I’m up for avoiding her for a long time...

Cho Kyuhyun

He slammed the book shut and threw his pen out of anger then he rubbed his face out of anxiety.  When the computer opened he opened up starcraft and waited for it to load then began doing things he needed to finish and then a popup came on the message box, it said: “hey kyuhyun, why didn’t you say hi?” it was Lynda and immediately, without a second thought, he went into his friends list and then scrolled the mouse over her name and then clicked delete. Her name disappeared and he was left confused again. In all honesty, he had wanted to talk to her, but then again, he had to avoid her remember?

For a very long time.

(11/04/2011) written & updated