Jonghyun knew he couldn’t escape but at least he will try. “Ah, hello hyung, I’m back,” said Jonghyun. “Welcome back and please explain what was that,” replied Leeteuk. “Ah that was nothing, hyung. Just gave something back,” Jonghyun shrugged, “Sooo~ hyung, it has been a long day, why we don’t we retire for the night?”asked him trying to get away from more questions. Leeteuk didn’t answer, he crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared sternly at Jonghyun. “Kim Jonghyun,” he said slowly, “don’t you dare to run away from me and this conversation, you make me waiting for you, I’ve been worried for you, and then you came and ignored me, it turned out you brought Taemin here, I asked you question and you kept ignoring me. You can’t always hide your trouble, Jjong. So, now please kindly answer me. What was all that things that happened? What were you talking about with him?” Jonghyun let out a sigh. Now, he must really give up in avoiding the talk. “Okay, hyung, let’s take a seat first.”

Both of them then took a seat on the sofa. “He was asking for forgiveness,” started Jonghyun. “And did you give him what he asked for?”asked Leeteuk. “No…” drawled Jonghyun, “I.. I-I can’t. I just can’t find in myself to forgive him or M-minho. My wound is still fresh and what they did hurt me so much. I just can’t forgive them yet. Perhaps later I can, but not now, not yet. Is it wrong hyung or should I just forgive him like that?” Leeteuk shook his head. “No, Jonghyun-ah, it is not wrong. It is normal that you can’t find in yourself to forgive them yet. After all you’ve been hurt so much,” reassured Leeteuk. “And, and Taemin also told me his reasons and he said that he still loves me as a brother, that he still worries about me. A-and I.. I can’t hate him, hyung. I also still love him. After all he was my dongsaeng before all of these things happened, and he is still my dongsaeng until now. And about that black box,” here Jonghyun looked down at his hand which was trembling. Leeteuk who saw that, took Jonghyun’s hands and caressed them, trying to ease the trembling.

“What about that box, Jjong?”asked Leeteuk softly. “It was from Minho,” mumbled Jonghyun. “What was that? I didn’t hear it, please speak louder.” Jonghyun clenched his hands which mea he also clench Leeteuk’s hands. “It was from Minho,” he repeated in louder voice. Jonghyun took a deep breath and continued, “He said it was his apology gift, but I can’t really feel the sincerity. He said indirectly that he sent the gift because Taemin said so. He told me to move on and forget the past. How can he ask such a thing easily? How can he send a gift without really meaning it? How can he doesn’t even consider my feelings? He is such a jerk,”ranted Jonghyun. For Jonghyun that gift just opened his wound again, breaking his heart once more. The insincerity of the gift and the notes crushed Jonghyun’s heart. After all, that gift had made Jonghyun ran away from home, got sick, and ended in Jino and Kyuhyun’s house.

Hearing Jonghyun’s words, Leeteuk’s immediately understood. Jonghyun had mentioned it before in his story even though not in detail for he was sobbing at that time. Leeteuk pulled Jonghyun into his embrace and rubbed his back. “There, there, it’s okay... Your hyung is here. There are many people who still care for you, JJongie-ya,” Leeteuk calmed Jonghyun. They fell into comfortable silence. Jonghyun took comfort from his hyung and closed his eyes, trying to control his emotions. Leeteuk let out a sigh. He still did his ministrations on Jonghyun’s back as he let his eyes wandered around the room. His eyes landed on a green box on the table that picked out his curiousity. He didn’t take notice of his suroundings before for he was worried over Jonghyun.

“Ne, JJong?” “Mmm?” “What’s about that green box?”asked Leeteuk. Jonghyun slowly opened his eyes and looked at the said box. He then remembered about his said admirer or guardian angel. Jonghyun’s face was growing red. He did not know how to tell about his admirer to his hyung. He had not told about this issue to anyone yet. He did not even sure if he should tell his hyung about his so-called admirer. Leeteuk who saw the blush, raised an eyebrow. “What’s wrong? Why are you blushing?”

“I-I’m not blushing,” stuttered Jonghyun. Leeteuk gave him a stare that said ‘oh-really?’ “M-m-m it.. it’s  just a pair of earphones,”said Jonghyun nervously. “If it’s just earphones, why are you blushing and stuttering?”Leeteuk pressed on, feeling suspiscious. “Mmm..”Jonghyun hummed and shrugged, feigning a nonchalant expression. However, Leeteuk was not fooled. He reached out to the box and opened it. It was really a pair of earphones, but there was also a note inside the box. Jonghyun who saw Leeteuk’s actions, tried to grab the note, but Leeteuk had grabbed it first and opened it. He read it and Jonghyun could see that his hyung was amused.

“So~” Leeteuk drawled. “You got yourself an admirer, huh? And~ that person proclaimed to be your guardian angel. Hmm~ How sweet! And that’s what I said about there are many people who care and love you,” teased Leeteuk. Jonghyun’s face turned red, earning laugh from Leeteuk which made his face became redder. Jonghyun pouted and Leeteuk ruffled his hairs as he asked, “So, how  long?” “Few weeks,” answered Jonghyun softly, but Leeteuk heard it. “Have you got this person identity?” “Not yet, but I only got some clues. First one its gender is a male. Second, I know him closely and he knows me well. He also know about my heartbreak,”explained Jonghyun. “Does he often give you gifts and notes?” Jonghyun just nodded. “May I see them? Perhaps I can find another clue.” Jonghyun stood up and walked to his room, took out a medium-sized box and walked back to his hyung to give the box.

Leeteuk opened the box and saw dried flowers and notes inside of it. Seeing the flowers, he looked back at Jonghyun. “It’s his gifts,” confirmed Jonghyun. Ah, then the dried flowers’ Leeteuk saw inside Jonghyun’s room and in the living room must be from him too. Leeteuk read the notes and reached the same conclusion as Jonghyun. “Have you told this to other person beside me?” Leeteuk asked another question which answered by a shake of head from Jonghyun, saying no. “He must be in your circle of friend, perhaps even your best friend. He said he is not your stalker, but he know your schedules for he can give you gifts without even stumble upon you once. How many of your friends know your schedule, Jjong?” Jonghyun thought for a moment and answered, “I think, not many. Only Key and Jinki hyung know most of my schedules. Hey, do you think one of them help my admirer hyung?”asked Jonghyun. He was getting excited. Perhaps he could ask his friends about this and made them help him to find the identity of his admirer. They might know someone who asked them about his schedule. But, Key would and he was not sure that both Key and Jinki hyung would help him if they was the accomplice of his admirer. Jonghyun was lost in his thoughts that he didn’t heard his hyung’s words. “…..one of them.” “Hmm.. what was that hyung? Sorry, I’m not listening.”

Leeteuk repeated his words, “I said, it also possible that your admirer is one of them. After all, they’ve been with you for a long time and know you best.” Jonghyun never thought about that possibility. He snorted at Leeteuk’s thoughts. Huh, Key and Jinki hyung? Key with his diva personality and mother hen actions toward everyone was a busybody who forced himself into anyone’s life. Nope, he would never do these kinds of things. If he liked me, he would tell it into my face, but the thoughts of him liking me itself was absurd. Jinki hyung was his brother figure beside his best friends. He was kind to everyone, smiling and cracking jokes. He took care of me and acted sweetly to me, but that was because I am his dongsaeng and also one of his best friends, right? “That’s an absurd idea, hyung. You and your overly imaginative mind.” Jonghyun shrugged at the idea.

“Hey! That’s not absurd,” Leeteuk defended, “Look at Taemin and Minho, they ar-“ Leeteuk clamped his mouth with his hand and cursed his loose mouth mentally. Just when he finally succeeded in cheering up Jonghyun, his mouth went loose and ruined it. Jonghyun’s face darkened. “I’m sorry, Jjong,” “That’s okay, hyung,” replied Jonghyun, “I’m tired, it’s been a long day. Why don’t we just rest for now?” Leeteuk knew that it was dismissal and the end of the conversation, so he just nodded. “I’ll go first, hyung. Good night,” Jonghyun stood up and went to his room. Leeteuk followed Jonghyun’s figure with his eyes until he went to his room. Right after the door closed, he groaned. “Stupid me,” muttered him as he knocked his fist to his head. He felt guilty to bringing that certain topic again to Jonghyun. Now, he was sure that Jonghyun would have difficult time to sleep.

Leeteuk was right. That night, Jonghyun could not sleep. He was once again thinking of what went wrong. The five of them are best friends, so what went wrong? Is it because of love? Isn’t there also the kind of love for friends and family? They are like brothers, and love for family is said to be strong, so what went wrong? Other than those thoughts, he also felt loneliness. He felt insecure and incomplete. He missed his brothers. He missed his dongsaeng, Taemin and also Minho. He missed their togetherness. In his time of insecurity, Minho would hug him, and he would feel safe in his arms. If he could not sleep, Minho would rub his back, and also his head then he would sleep in no time. Minho’s presence was enough to calm Jonghyun. If he was not there, phone call would work, Jonghyun would talk to him until he fell asleep. Minho’s voice would lull him to sleep. Now, there was no Minho. No more hugs from him, no more big and warm hands caressing his back and head. No more husky voice lulling him to sleep. All of those things were in the past. Those things had become memories and here Jonghyun was reminiscing. His chest was hurting. His mind could not put on rest. Jonghyun put his arms around his body, hugging himself and fold his body. He was trying to make himself warmer and secure, but it did not have the same effect as Minho had. However, he stayed on that position until sleep came and let him runaway for a moment.  

~

Jonghyun woke up in the morning because the smell of food and the sound of someone cooking in his kitchen. Jonghyun decided to take a shower first, before going to the kitchen. After a shower, he went to the dining room and found his hyung already set up the table with breakfast that consisted of bacons, scrambled eggs, sausages and toasts. “Ah good morning, JJong,” greeted Leeteuk with a smile,”I’ve prepared breakfast, let’s eat.” “Morning, hyung,” replied Jonghyun as he took a seat. Leeteuk took a seat in front of Jonghyun, then both of them started eating in comfortable silence. The silence then was interrupted by a phone message from Leeteuk’s phone.

Leeteuk took his phone and read the message. He then groaned out loud, earning a curious look from Jonghyun. “What’s wrong, hyung?” “It’s from work. I am needed at work right now. Don’t they know the meaning of days off?”answered Leeteuk. “I’ll just let them handle the work without me, after all I already promised to stay with you for a few days, right?” continued Leeteuk. “It’s alright, hyung. You can come back. You are needed there, rite? I’ll be okay.” “But-“ Before Leeteuk could retaliated, Jonghyun cut him off. “It’s okay. I’ll be alright. I’m already a grown up hyung. You don’t need to worry,” said Jonghyun with a stern gaze. They stared at each other for a minute, then Leeteuk let out a sigh and Jonghyun grinned. “Okay, then. I lose. I’ll go but after I finish it I’ll go back here,”replied Leeteuk and Jonghyun gave an affirmative nod. They finished their breakfast and Leeteuk started to pack his things.

Jonghyun was about to turn on the TV when the doorbell rang. He opened the door and saw Jinki there. “Jinki hyung? What bring you here? Please, come in,” Jonghyun opened the door wider and let Jinki in. “Ah, I want to ask you out to catch up and have fun with you,” said Jinki. “Where?”asked Jonghyun. “Anywhere you want,” replied Jinki. Before Jonghyun could answer, Leeteuk’s voice and footsteps could be heard. “Who is it, Jjong?” asked Leeteuk, but then he already saw who it was himself and answered his own question. “Oh, it’s you Jinki-ya.” Jinki then greeted Leeteuk. Then Leeteuk seemed as remembering something, and his eyes glinted with something mischievious.

“It’s great that you are here.” Both Jinki and Jonghyun was confused and asked Leeteuk with their eyes. “I’m just about to go,” continued Leeteuk, “So~ please accompany Jonghyun and take care of him for me, ne? You can have him all for yourself for today~” Leeteuk smiled at them. He then whispered to Jinki, “Please cheered him up and make him happy.” After that he went to the door without hearing their answers or reactions. But, before he closed the door he called Jonghyun. “Jonghyun-ah,” called Leeteuk and Jonghyun looked at his hyung. Leeteuk gave him a wink and said, “Good luck.” Then he went away, leaving Jonghyun and Jinki feeling confused. “What was that?”asked Jonghyun dumbfounded.

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Hey guys, long time no see :) Sorry for the very long long long waiting hehehe

I know that it's been over a year since the last update, but please still give this story some love~

Please give some comments and insight to the story ^^

Love you all~