‘Why did I hate you and love you in the same time?’ – Luhan

*

This isn’t supposed to happen.

Luhan pouted at the two youngest members who stood facing the stove, while he was sitting on the bar, so far he’ll just allowed by watching them cooking the ramen, recalled the last time he made it by his own, he added more salt and a bit wasabi –okay, he spilled the bottle on it- for no reason and succeed making Sehun and Baekhyun dying from food poisoning. Since then, he was banned near the kitchen for the sake of other EXO members’ life.

Actually, being banned from cooking wasn’t his problem, he didn’t care with cooking it’s woman job, or Dio’s job, he was disturbed by the fact that after a whole year and a few weeks of peace, after all these times he tried to look normal around Kai and went past his fear of getting shoved to any flat surface, or suddenly get ambushed in shower, or having someone else waiting under his blanket, aside his Donald Duck, suddenly Kai kissed him, again.

He didn’t angry with the kiss, he enjoyed the kiss.

Just, why him?

He stared at the brunette’s back, eyes became hazier as he reminded himself that was the back of the boy who bullied him into a kissing pet, for the whole of his training years. If he remembered it quietly, that day was rainy and the class was so boring so he got up and going to the bathroom to wash his face. What he didn’t expect, this boy stood behind him and grabbed him and cornered him and kissed him. A boy just kissed him and it made his body jolted excitedly at the invitation. It make his lips opened in a moan, let the boy him, bite him, devour all of him and Luhan didn’t have any objection with that. This kiss, probably the first one he enjoyed so much, where he could feel the other person breath, he can smell the musky and alluring scent and he can taste the bitterly sweet of wetness of their saliva, as their kiss deepened, their hands mapped each other’s back and their chest synchronize their rushed beats.

Luhan never once regret it, except for one thing.

They’re strangers to each other. Aside knowing the boy’s name from Sehun, Luhan learned that Kai was just like a shadow, come and go as the boy would, only near him when having an urge, and this is why the kisses felt like having less love and more lust.

Luhan felt used.

As if it’s not enough, Sehun once told him that Kai was a creep. When Luhan asked why, the boy chuckled while saying, ‘I just saw him staring at sleeping Channie then he mapped Channie lips with his thumb. It was weird.’ Even the rumor said, Kai had a lips , an over-admiration towards lips which made Kai loved kissing random people. However, Sehun never saw any evidence, nor got to experience ones since the blond became Kai’s close friends so it might be just lies.

For once in his life, he felt so disgusted with Kai and felt sick with himself who was too easily give in. That’s why he told everything to Sehun, how he was treated by Kai and asking the youngest for help. He wanted Kai to stop, but he can’t do it himself. There’s love in him at every gentleness touching his lips. It also became his reason why he endured and stay silent for all these times. Because he believed in love. He believed someday he won’t only become a tool to satisfy Kai and there will be something in between them.

When Sehun decided to help him by telling Kai about a forbidden love in between the maknae and him there’s a stinging pain in his heart. Finally he can taste the freedom when Kai stopped molesting him, even apologized for not aware of his feeling. But there’s also regret, knowing that there was no one who whispered at how beautiful he was and how precious he was, in between their kisses. There was no one who hugged him until he drifted into sleep. There was no one to make his breath hitched and his heart raced because of love.

He cut off Kai from his life, and because of that, he’s breaking his own heart.

.

There’s no end to a love story.

When he was devastated with his own desire for a certain dancing machine, he found Kai and himself standing next to each other in group formation, and even sharing a dance teaser together as two strangers moved in a harmony. It made him anticipated if their company will pair them up, so he could get to know Kai from the beginning, so they could be friends, or more.

Sadly destiny settled him with his ‘beloved’ Sehun, which made Sehun groaned in displease and Dio frowned. Everyone knew how the cutie pie always anticipated anything related to Sehun. Suho said, Dio even believed, in his previous life that doll was ‘Sehun’s mother’ and so the boy had so much responsibility to take care of the maknae.

It was awkward, when he was near Kai. The rationality in his mind told him to know his place and not just laugh airily every time Kai took a glance at him, or taking a liberty to translate anything in Chinese to impress Kai while there’s a translator Noona standing behind them, or touching the boy in every affectionate way which was a bit inappropriate to do to a stranger.

As the time went by, he realized this love for Kai grown worse. He asked himself, what will he gain from this? Did he wanted to go back to his training time and let Kai do as the boy wished to his body? This isn’t going to work. No matter how much he showered Kai with his love, all he got in return was only lips, no heart, no feelings.

Sure it was cause he’s still deeply in love no matter how scarred he was because of Kai.

.

“What’s wrong, hyung?”

Luhan blinked.

For a while, the blond haired beauty only stared at Sehun and Kai in daze, before his nose hit the delicious scent from his favorite ramen and it brought his eyes fell to the three set of ramen on the dining table. In a second, he forgot everything and impatiently taking the chopsticks, “I’m dig in!” he exclaimed.

For a while, he enjoyed the hot ramen melted with the inside of his mouth and even closed his eyes when the delightful saltiness hit his tongue and the strong scent of spices aroused him. It’s just like being occupied with a long and deep kiss where there’s only heat to heat and slurping shared-saliva and chewing on the battling tongues.... Which was now reminding him back to the world, “sorry guys,“ he sighed to ease away the spiciness from his mouth, before smiled at the both young members, “you had to cook this for me.”

“Never mind, hyung.” His eyes saw a smirk formed in Kai’s plump lips, “We know very well what you are capable of.” He said in tease, made Luhan lost his smile, faltering into a little curt at the little insult of his mistake.

“At least we had our own share.” Simple Sehun shrugged and then grabbed his own chopsticks, followed by Kai who laughed while saying something to the blond maknae in return. For a while, Luhan only watched them talking to each other, wondering if this sickness called Love-for-Kai can just disappear so he could be like Sehun and talk normally to the brunette as friend.

“Kai?”

Luhan knew this isn’t a right time to talk, but after their last kiss, which was an hour ago, he can’t stop thinking about it and he afraid he couldn’t have a nice sleep, or a better future if they didn’t just settled this matter now. So when he got Kai and Sehun attention he took a deep breath and lowering his head and pierced his gaze at the Kai in a curious look,

“Do you really have a lips ?”

His question made Kai’s eyes widened and Sehun coughed. But he didn’t take back his words, instead waiting for the reply.

“Hyung,” Sehun cleared his throat, “I thought we’re agree to not talking about this.” and from his eyes he made his point to Luhan. This isn’t a good thing to discuss, cause they built theory from rumors and even Luhan experienced being molested, Kai still Sehun best friend. Besides, there’s no concrete proof of Kai kissing people around, well, except Luhan.

“But I’m curious.” Luhan admitted, “So please shut up for a moment Sehun, and Kai,” he was so itched to ask this for a long time ago, “do you have lips ?” he repeated, now with more demand.

Sehun sighed and decided to eat his ramen again.

“Yes.” Kai answered with a sweet smile, making Luhan blushed hard in an instant and making Sehun’s ramen fell from the chopstick, “I do love lips.” The brunette casually added.

Luhan took a big gulp at hearing such honest confession. Suddenly his throat became so dry but he’s still had more questions, “so,” he breathed in between his sentences, “is that true, you loved kissing people around.”

Kai placed his chopstick neatly on the napkin and then sat back to get comfortable. Funny that his gesture made Luhan tensed even more, “why hyung?” Kai chuckled lightly, “you missed my kiss?”

What a bold man, it almost made Luhan wanted to both punched Kai right in the face, or just pulled that black hair close and engaging Kai in a dirty and sloppy kiss cause Luhan did miss him.

“Don’t joke around.” Luhan decided to cross his hands on his own chest to stop himself from doing something stupid. “Just answer the question.”

“Why?” Kai still stubbornly asked back, now even bolder by letting the warm hands of his reached and the rough fingers rudely mapped Luhan’s pink lips, “Sehun didn’t please you with kisses?” his voice was came out more like a guttural sound and his touch almost escaped a shameless moan from Luhan’s mouth. Again it angered at how easy he became when it came to Kai, how could he love this bastard who only know pleasure but never learn how to love?

“Of course not.” Luhan got up and immediately hooked Sehun’s arm, hugged it close into his chest while his eyes keep glaring at Kai in challenge. He didn’t care if Sehun was in the middle of eating and the chopstick missed the mouth or if the hot noodle fell on Sehun’s lap.

“Ouch, watch out, hyung!” Sehun struggled with his strong embrace while trying to brush away the stinging pain hitting his skin, “it’s hot!”

“I’m dating Sehun!” Luhan shouted at Kai, “We’re the most lovey dovey couple in this world and our kisses are dirty and hot!” he grabbed Sehun hands even tighter to make his point but when a nasty smile tugged in the corner of Kai’s lips, he felt so threatened.

“Really?” Kai titled his head, grinning like a hungry beast as the boy dared Luhan, “then show me, hyung, the proof of you dating Sehun. Kiss him.”

Luhan swallowed his own regret. “Fine.” He said, a bit cracked, before he turned and kissed Sehun’s cheek as deep as he could, Sehun yelped in surprise the poor boy almost made his ramen bowl spilled.

“Done!” Luhan wiped away his mouth.

“What the ?!” Sehun yelled at Luhan.

Kai stared at both of them, before he smiled, “hmph,” he snorted, “looks like a brother kiss to me. Even I can do better, I guess.”

“B-But!” To cover his embarrassment and his failure, Luhan immediately said, “We’re not kissing in public! We’re shy couple!”

However, he did feel ashamed even more, now that Kai laughed so happy at him like he was an idiot. It was hurt, that he cannot just say the truth and preferred to show his hatred towards the boy he loved.

“Interesting.”

Just a word from Kai alongside with the laugh, it already made his blood pumped to burn his face and seeing into Kai’s handsome face only turned it worse.

“Why don’t you release Sehun, hyung? I think he’s in pain.”

Kai pointed at grumpy Sehun who was too annoyed to even talk and Luhan immediately released the blond and apologize for the soup stain which now decorated Sehun’s jeans. He didn’t forget to ask if Sehun was hurting but maybe it kinda too late.

“You should not get so worked up.” Sehun said while getting up to clean the fallen noodle, “now you ruined my food.”

“I’m sorry.” Luhan returned to his seat with a slumped back, only staring at his ramen for a while, before he took a glance at Kai again, who now quietly eating his own share.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Luhan began again after he took a breath or two to calm down his nerve, “do you often kissing around?”

Kai chuckled at how stubborn Luhan could be. “Well, I used to do it often.” Just, Thank God the brunette decided to answer it right this time.

“Kissing everyone?”

Still, the curiosity didn’t end there and Luhan just had an urge to confirm it without considering what kind of answer he’ll get or if his heart can stand it without having another crack.

“Kissing my pet.”
 

Oh, no, no, no, this is was something he wanted to hear but not something he could take it well. Just how many times he imagined the bullying was only for him because he had a special place in Kai’s heart. But there are many bad thoughts which buried his dream so when the reality felt so close to it, Luhan can only stilled.

This silence made an opportunity for Kai to leaned close and when Luhan finally snapped, there’s only a few inches separated their lips to lips, “I wonder, hyung.” Kai asked in a playful tone, “Would you like to be my pet again?”

Luhan gaped.

“B-But…” Luhan averted his gaze and found Sehun was sitting again and on the way to continue his meal, before his eyes locked again with the darkest orb he ever saw in his life, “but I date Sehun, he… he must be very angry, if…”

“Nah,” and to add to his misery, Sehun murmured incoherently in between chewing his ramen, “don’t mind me, you guys just do whatever you wanted. I'm tired.”

“Sehun!” Luhan whined, deep in his heart he wanted to strangle this boy for not sticking to the plan. They had plan, they were trapped in bro-mance which was so deep and romantic and not even death could separate them. He pierced an icy glare towards his supposed-to-be twin siblings, promised Sehun a hard way but not only he got ignored by the blond, he’s also had to face a devilish smile from Kai, followed by a husky whispers of,

“This is gonna be fun.”

Forgetting the fact that he’s older by four year and he’s an adult, Luhan shrieked in horror and just runaway to seek the safest place in earth, a.k.a his bedroom.

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END

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How was it? Hope you like it hehehe