*

Listen to SHINee ‘Fire’ when I made this, such a beautiful song ^^

*

“You know, I’m better than you…”

Kai stared at the older blond, the second after Luhan whispered those words on his neck. He blinked in confusion, because after saying it, the beautiful blond acted like nothing happen. It’s like, Luhan just feel like saying it, and he means nothing with it.

However, the words glued into Kai’s mind, making the brunette can’t stop searching the meaning behind, or why Lu had to say it at him. A declaration or… what? Did Luhan thinks of him as rival all these times?

Kai bit his bottom lips, tried to ignore the clenching pain in his chest. Always Luhan in his mind, always Luhan who came to his life and stayed in his memory. Always Luhan who tried to be a good brother to him and failed, but Kai never angry with the awkwardness created in between them. Yet now, Luhan thinks of him as someone to defeat, while all he had for Lu is his heart.

He loved Luhan. It’s a public secret. It’s in other member’s murmurs behind his back and no one dare to ask him directly. They were scared with the truth, whether Kai really loves Luhan or it just one of his simple gentleness. Well, it’s not. Kai didn't share gentleness towards Luhan. He shared awkwardness, hopeless feels and longing. He always hoped people read it clearly, what he wants every time he looked at Lu. He wanted Lu, only wanted for his beautiful Luhan to look back and realized there’s nothing matter for Kai in this world anymore.

Nothing except Luhan.

Kai sighed.

Here he was, standing in front of Luhan's door, gaining all the courage left to step into Lu’s private life. Not any single EXO members knew Lu was living here, and it was forbidden to ask. It's the company rule to keep the members who live outside dorm safe from any snoopy stalkers.

It’s crazy, what he did tonight. He broke the company rules for the first time, by sneaking up from his own dance practice and prefers to stalk Luhan all the way here. He knew if he got caught, then he will get scolded by the Chief, and the worse, probably he will bring misfortune to Luhan too.

But his heart can’t stand it anymore. That's why he rang the bell. Let the loud sound snapped him from being nervous. There’s no answer from inside, but he knew Luhan will still be awake. The blond was just arrived a while ago. So Kai rang the bell again, now cold sweat running down his temple, cause the nervousness back and there’s nothing he can’t do to stop it-…

“Huh?” The door swung opened and the first thing Kai saw was the damp blond hair,

“Jongin?” Luhan asked dumbfoundedly.

Kai blinked. What the-….! His eyes inappropriately trailed down the pale beauty. It’s funny how his stomach kicked in anticipation and his blood boiled at the line of wet muscle on Lu’s body. His throat getting dry, even he had to clench his palms so it stays where it belongs. And the scent, the scent of Lu hit his nose and immediately his jaw hardened to stop himself from pushing the blond to the door and just Lu’s dry.

Kai gulped, “can I come in?” harshly, he said what he shouldn’t. He didn’t plan to ambush Lu or what. Here he just wanted to confess, to simply say ‘I love you, let’s be friends’ not invited himself into Lu’s place while making gesture of ‘I want to you tonight.’

Whatever, Kai shrugged as he opened his shoes, He’ll be mine, sooner or later…

-

This is interesting.

Kai stared at the back in front of him. They were lying close, so close that Kai didn’t want to draw more distance towards Lu anymore. Even now, a few inch gap irritated him, making him shifted so their skin pressed to each other. He trapped Lu’s hips in between his thighs, while his hands wrapped around Lu’s chest and slim waist. His face buried into the side of head, inhaling the nice scent he loves so much.

“I love you, Lu…” he whispered hoarsely, before he closed his eyes and smiled.

He remembers how many times the word of ‘love’ radiated from all those stares for his Lu.

How many times the word of ‘love’ almost escaped from his lips, at every occasion he got to stay near Luhan.

Yet the one who said love was Sehun. Although the poor boy said it in different definition, and all Kai did was laughing at him while his stomach pulsating in displease. He can’t decide if it was himself who was too stupid to form such simple word, or if love was giving him a too deep wound, that he was afraid if Lu didn’t want him back, his life will be scattered into pieces.

“I love you…” Now he was here, with the man he loved, Kai will say good bye to the torturous nights from his past, which can’t stop haunting him with unfinished dream of love. Now they were here, he will make sure they will have forever, together.

-

The heat of the sun reached the bed. It’s not morning anymore when Luhan found himself wake alone to the crumpled sheet, sweaty skin, and the unusual muscle pain. He groaned, recalled of what had happen with this body and with this crazy mind, which keep doing embarrassing things due to an unreasonable curiosity.

He slept with Jongin.

Or, probably Jongin slept with him was the better words to describe everything.

“This is embarrassing…” the memories keep pouring into his mind, moving like slides of action and repeatedly playing the partial moments,

‘Jongin? What’s wrong?’

Luhan bit his bottom lips grudgingly.

‘I heard… it feels better when you’re inside me…’

His hands immediately grabbed the sheet on his stomach.

‘Mirror…’

Luhan head perked up, seeing into the corner of his bedroom as his throat suddenly getting dry,

‘Bring me mirror…’ He remembered how shocked Jongin’s face when he said it,

‘I want to see how you take me…’

Luhan can’t take it anymore. He got up, and immediately slipped the corner of the sheet, made his face kissed the cold parquet floor. He winced, and merely sobbed at the pain addressed right to his back. It’s hurt, both outside and inside him and it was annoying too, to get so messy when he tried to be careful all the time.

“Jonginnnnn…” he whined, still on the floor. He didn’t know why he became such a brat, he can try get up by himself, he can try to walk. But he just simply wants Jongin here, taking care of him like a gentleman taking care of their woman after . He only wants to get pampered, so he’ll believe when Jongin said love, it’s not only because of the lust.

“Jongiiiinnnnn!” He whined, a bit louder it started to make him worry. Where’s Jongin? He stared at the bedroom door and he just realized everything was turned silent. There’s no sound of people walking, no sound of people humming, no sound of water being . It’s only the usual silent which he found when nobody’s around.

He’s all alone.

-

When Kai wake up, it was almost noon. Not that he care, though. He only stretched his body like a cat, probably he purred too in bliss cause this can be counted as one of the best sleep he ever had. Even better, he didn’t have to face cold wall when he wake up, or a too tidy bed of a certain roommate (even after he use it, Dio always iron the sheet over an again). He saw the angel, breathing contently like a baby in their sleep with slightly opened lips. It was too beautiful to the point his heart break into pieces, and suddenly he felt so jealous with Sehun or Lay who had to share bedroom with Luhan sometimes. But that will be immature, right, to be jealous over nothing. It’s better to enjoy this moment, cause now Luhan was not in any other men’s arms, but his. Luhan was not for anyone but his.

He saw luhan stirred. Finally after a long last sleep nestled in Kai’s protective hug, the lovely blond can move his body again and sleep like a star. It was cute and arousing in the same time, to see such innocence still exist even though kai was already stained him, all over.

“Sleep tight.” Kai pecked his forehead, didn’t dare to wake the angel up. He carefully shifted from the bed, and looking at the mirror under his feet. He sighed. Ah, this mirror, his face blushed as he moved the mirror back into its place, such a instrument you had here, my love. He said mentally, aiming at Luhan’s offer last night. He can’t still forget it. And probably he won’t because it kinda hot to see how demanding the blond can be.

Kai walked out from the bedroom, cleaning himself and went back again to put some clothes. It’s funny, to see how plain this wardrobe of Lu. Kai thought the older boy had the same personality with his image. Because he looked so cheerful, the feminine clothes suite him the most. But, surprisingly, what he had here was very simple and ordinary. Just like any other normal man, when Luhan was in here, he stopped being a star and just simply a Chinese man named Xi Luhan.

Kai sighed, holding the left chest where his heart pounding so hard, just when he thought his love already reached the max level, he can’t help but keep falling in love again with Luhan. This is bad, what if he got heart attack?

A while later, he was already in the kitchen, making some simple brunch Dio had teach him cause of some bulls like ‘I won’t always be near, forever’ or ‘Girls love man who can cook’ or ‘You’ll thank me someday…’

Guess he will thank Dio someday.

He made breakfast for two, cleaning the house while thinking at how nice to live here. Everything was crowded and busy down there, with people pouring the road of Chinatown. Yet, the sound didn’t reach this place and cause it was so calm he can enjoy watching people without worry to get annoyed with the sound.

It was kinda lonely though. He can imagine how Luhan lived here, probably there will only be a little time to spend but sure Luhan must love this place. He had this reading corner near the window, with a daybed and a book case near. Kai reads some of the titles, there were novels, literatures, mangas, and some of books written in Mandarin.

He looked at the bedroom door, wondering if he can wake Luhan up now, cause he was hungry and he wanted to eat together with Lu. But then, he went back to the kitchen, decide he will throw out the garbage first and giving Luhan some more minutes.

-

“Lu?”

When Kai was back, he was facing a gloomy Luhan, sitting in front of the bedroom door with the crumpled sheet covered him. The brunette furrowed his eyebrows, confused to see why Luhan was sobbing before their eyes met.

“Jongin?” Sure the boy frowned to see him, too shocked that made Kai smelled something wrong. Probably he wore Lu’s favorite clothes, which no one ever dared to even touch?

“What’s wrong?” Kai kneeled in front of the blond, “are you hurt?”

His voice only set Luhan into another tears. In flash, Luhan was already clung to him, crying hard, “Thank God!” the blond said breathlessly, “I thought you left…”

“Huh?” For a while, Kai felt so stupid, didn’t have idea what had happen. But then he realized what Kris hyung had taught him. Of course, he’s just sleep with the person he love, and he confessed too, he must be an if he disappear when the said person wake up. He should be near so his lover won’t feel used, trashed or betrayed. “Wait…” he grabbed both Lu’s shoulder, pushed him slightly so he can see the blond in the eyes, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m just disposing the trash.”

“What?” Luhan stared at him in shock, before the blush heated the pale skin as the blond realized that he was making ruckus over nothing, ‘I’m so sorryyyy…” He cried again, “I… I just wake up and I slipped and my body won’t move but when I called you there’s no answer and I crawled here, crying like a pathetic man I am…”

“No…” Kai cupped Lu’s face and wiped away his tears, “It’s not your fault. Now, are you okay? Can you walk?”

Luhan whined, “I can, but I’m so embarrassed I think I want to dieeeeeeeee!” He wailed, sitting while tucking his head down, “I’m sorry Jongin… I’m so embarrassiiiiing!”

Ah, so cute, such nasty words suddenly filling Kai’s mind, as he saw how messy this beauty turned be, because he wasn’t around. And this heart began marched wild and wilder, feeling so blessed to know he’s not ‘nothing’. Even though it’s still far from ‘love’ at least he had a special place here, in Luhan’s private life. He lifted the face up, kiss the shame away from the blond and then he smiled on Lu’s lips,

“I love you,” he whispered huskily and he always love to see the frown on Lu’s face every time he said it, it didn’t feel like a rejection, it feels like slowly he can invade this beauty’s mind with his poison and all Lu can do was submitting to him, “so please can you stop crying?”

He rubbed his hands around the arms, “can you feel me, Lu? I’m not going anywhere.” He chuckled, a bit too dark when he saw Luhan gulped, “I’m here, okay?”

Luhan stared at him dazedly, before the older boy sighed. He wanted to say sorry again but Kai caught his lips, and said, “If you keep apologizing I’ll keep kissing you and if I keep kissing you, I will ended taking you here.” It was a threat came out as a soft whisper, so Luhan can’t just retort back. He only pouted cutely, grumbled under his breath as he tried to get up.

Kai helped him, “want a breakfast? I made some for us.”

Then again, the deer eyes snapped back to see him in another series of surprise, “You can cook?!” Luhan asked in awe.

Kai hardened his jaw, praying to the God so he can endure himself better in front of his cutie pie, or he will be a beast and in the end, ruining everything from Luhan.

-

-

-

The phone rang through the house. For a while, they let it make some noise but until the third time two strong and tanned legs stepped down from the day bed, walking to the foyer while grunting in displease, “so noisy, who the hell is that?!”

Luhan stared at the sky outside the window, his eyes were empty and his mouth agape from harsh and short breathing. “ Wait…” he blinked a few times, try to gain his consciousness and get up, just in time when he saw Kai received the call, “Jongin, that’s…”

“Kim house-… I mean, Xi household here.” Kai grumbled, “Who’s speaking?”

“This is me.”

Kai froze as he heard the deep voice from their producer, “I just want to make sure you had schedule tonight and… Why the hell are you in Luhan’s house, Jongin?!”

Crap.

-

End

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