"Guys?" Onew opened the door and addressed the other waiting members. All three lifted their heads and looked at the leader. "Could you come in? I think we all need to talk about something..." Something in the eldest's voice said that it was serious, and definitely not anything that was pleasant to the ears.

"Are you sure, hyung? Is he still upset?" Minho asked hesitantly.
 

"Yes... No... I mean, yes; but for a different reason," Onew answered in stutters before shaking his head. "Just come in, you'll understand." In a few minutes, the team found themselves surrounding the youngest's ward bed, and Jinki seated down with his fingers pinching his nose bridge in a frustrated and dejected expression.

"So?" Jonghyun asked, looking between the eldest and the youngest, demanding an answer. Taemin glanced at the leader, but Jinki was not about to answer for him.

"I'm leaving," Taemin barely whispered. A slow silence took over the room, with a small sigh escaping the leader's lips.

"What exactly do you mean 'leaving'?" Kibum whispered back in disbelief.

"I... I'm not going to dance anymore, hyung; those days are over. I'll go back and lead a normal non-celebrity life, get an office job, and just... just leave it all behind," Taemin answered slowly, his voice shaky and soft.

"Is this some kind of joke?" Minho blurted out. "We can understand what you said earlier, because they were all true; but this... Is this what this is about - do you want us to apologize, Taemin-ah? Well, we're really sorry, Minnie; we're sorry for being insensitive, and for making you feel bad about yourself; but you can't just leave. We are a team..."

"It's not about all of you. All of you, hyungs, have been very supportive, and if there is anything holding me back from this decision, it would be because of this team. But that's not the point! I'm supposed to like to dance, and sing, not like who makes this team!" Taemin raised his voice just slightly, making the rasp in his voice even more obvious. "We were a team," he corrected after a tired sigh. "The best there could ever be, really. But not now, not when I'm... when I'm this," Taemin gestured a hand down his body, that lay still on the bed.
 

"Who said you could leave, just like that?" Kibum seethed, his eyes raging furiously and teeth gritted together into a snarl.

"Hyu-"

"Don't you even dare call me hyung if that thought is running through your mind!" Kibum screamed. "Don't you even dare, Lee Taemin." A teardrop lolled down the feminine flushed cheek.

"Is that it? Quitting? You have not even tried, Taemin! We tried! We worked hard! We filled that spot for you and worked our asses off day and night just training so that you could return to the team again when you get better. We trained like dogs not even to get back to our previous states, but we are working on it. What have you done, Taemin? What have you given to get back to what we had before?" Key questioned, his angry tone turning into a pleading on, begging the youngest not to leave.

"What if I don't want it anymore?" Taemin countered. "What if I don't want to go through all that again? All the saesangs, the chasing, this idol life. What if I'm tired of all of it?"

"Are you tired of us?" Kibum spat. "Is that it? First the whole thing about us making you feel inferior, and now this. Is it us?"

"That's not it, hyung... I just... I just don't know what I really want anymore. Just before, I wanted to have a successful comeback, I wanted to give our best, do our best, do it with a bang; but not now. That is not what I want now. I don't even know what I want out of myself now. And I can't... I can't bring myself to stay in this industry with such a shaky resolve. I don't want to be someone who does things half-heartedly. It just... It doesn't seem right. I had my fill; I was given my chance. It's time for me to stop," Taemin whispered slowly, painfully.

"Who determined so? Who said that your time is over? Who? Those fans out there, those fans who cried for you, who are praying for your recovery; those fans who prays for your well-being, is that an indication that your time is over? What about this team? This entire team that is waiting for your return, this team which is willing to support you through the hard times, is this the indication that your time is over? Or is it the company? The company - the sunbaenim, the hoobaes, everyone who is cheering us all on; are those an indication for the end as well? I don't understand, Taemin; I just don't understand," Kibum choked out. Taemin stayed silent for a long while, before he finally saw that they were waiting for an answer.

"That makes two of us, hyung... I don't understand either..." Taemin whispered back. "I don't know what I want or how I want it, but I know I can't go on like this. I can't give any of you promises that I can keep up with your expectations, and I can't promise that I'll ever... ever get out of bed by myself again..."

"Taemin, is this really what you want? Would you feel better putting everything behind you? Would it make you happier?" Jonghyun prodded gently.

"I... I don't know. I really don't know, hyung," Taemin sighed with frustrated in his tone. "I just feel so tired, just so exhausted from everything right now."  

"Take a break. Anyone is allowed to take a break. No one is going to push you right now. Everything is just going to be fine, you'll see," Minho encouraged.

"No one knows that. Even the doctors don't know how things would turn out with me. No one's pushing me? Everyone is pushing me, hyung. All the expectations they have of me, the fans, the company, even you. How could no one be pushing me? This pressure of having to be perfect, of having to be the best, I know I can't do it with what I am right now. Let's just be realistic right now, you know this is all true; you know I wouldn't be what I was before and I probably never will be again," Taemin countered, softly but with malice.

"No one says you have to be perfect, all we want is that you try!" Kibum cried.

"Don't," Onew whispered in a resigned sigh from his quiet side. "Let's take a breath, before everyone starts shouting here. There's no need for all of us to shout at each other - we're better than that." Jonghyun looked at the leader and registered the never fading stressed out expression he had, and the singer was sure that that the other members could see that as well.

"Taemin-ah," Minho started in a lower tone, gentle and patient as he reached out to hold Taemin's hand. "How long have you been thinking about this?"

"Long," Taemin answered after a sigh. "Maybe even starting from the day after I found out. I just needed to find the time... and chance... to tell all of you."

"If we told you that you'd definitely recover, that you'd definitely be able to walk, run, dance, would you still want to leave now?" Jonghyun asked, standing beside the defeated leader now, an assuring hand on the slouched shoulder.

"I..." Taemin paused to think deeper into the words. "No, if I knew that I can, I wouldn't quit. But that isn't what it is, hyung. It isn't going to be-"

"No, Taemin, it isn't. But there is still a chance that it might be. There is still that chance there that you can walk, run, dance, and be what you were before. And you're just throwing that chance all away, simply because you don't believe. All you need to do is believe in yourself, and believe that you can do it. If even you don't believe in what you can do, there is nothing we can do anymore. We, all four of us here, all your fans, all those supporters, sunbaenims and hoobaes, all of us believe in you. But what matters most, is whether you believe in yourself. Think about it carefully, okay?" Jonghyun spoke slowly and carefully, watching Taemin's frown deepen on his forehead, and his lips opening and closing as if wanting to interrupt but then again not doing it.

"That's what I'm trying to say, Minnie. You don't have to be perfect. All you have to do is believe, and try. No one can blame you for trying," Kibum added in, his voice hitching from the tears.

"We still have the time, you don't have to decide what you want to do right now. No one is asking for an answer right this moment, all we're asking is for you to think it through once more. Think about whether doing this is really what you want to do. Until the day you get out of the hospital, we're not losing hope. We still want you with us no matter what you can or cannot do," Minho said as he squeezed Taemin's hand pleadingly. Taemin glanced around the room, and finally settled on the silent leader.

"And you, hyung? You have something to say too?" he asked almost accusingly. Jinki tensed up slightly and raised his head robotically to look at Taemin.

"Just you will be good for me. You don't have to force yourself to be anything. Just you being…Taemin… and that will be fine," Jinki answered simply. "You don't have to be perfect, you don't have to be a singer, you don't have to be a dancer, and you don't have to be an idol. I don't care what you are or decide to become. Honestly, I'm grateful with the simple fact that you, Lee Taemin, are alive. And that's all that matters to me. You asked for me to give you my blessings for your decision, and that's what I will give you no matter what you decide to do."

"You don't care if I leave the group?" Taemin asked in a shaky tone. The other members glared at Onew in similar thought.

"I do. I can't promise that I will not be upset if you decide leave, and I can even assure you that I’ll be pissed at anyone who asks me about it after that. It’s not that I don’t care, but I think you are old enough to make your own decisions now. You're no longer that 14 year old that I first met. You're all grown up now, and whatever you decide to do, I know I can trust that you have put much thought and heart to think over. So, no matter what you settle on, I'll have your back. I think we both know what I wish you would decide on... but this not my decision to make, it is not my life that rests on this. It's yours, and you deserve to do whatever you think is best, or whatever you think would make you happier."

"Hyung..." the members whispered in unison with disbelief.

"But," Jinki injected quickly. "I do agree that you should take some time to think this over. All the things that you said you didn't understand earlier, understand them, and make a decision that is truly thought over. Think about what you want to do if you decide not to be an idol anymore. I don't think anyone here would let you choose a sloppy plan over the team. If you want to convince them, formulate a proper plan and think about where you want to be in 3 years, in 5 years. Think about how you want to get there, what you have to do in order to get there, what company do you have to go to, what is the job scope? Think about it all, I can get your laptop here so that you can do your research. How does that sound? You think you can do that for us?"

"... That sounds..." Taemin whispered in response. "It sounds reasonable. I think I can do that."