I hate when they keep things from me. I have always told them everything truthfully, never hid a thing from them. After all these years of living together, practicing together, going through all that together, why can’t they trust me enough to even fill me in just a little? Am I just an outsider who shouldn’t be included in the group events in their eyes? What with Jonghyun suddenly making special arrangements to sit with Minho, and Minho’s random outburst of utter retardedness has already made it overly obvious that they are hiding something from me, so why can’t they just be open about it and spit it out already?

What could they have been talking about that led to that webpage? Well, it’s obvious that it is about Taemin and definitely not any good news seeing as how they are going to such stupid extents to keep it from me. Moreover, Jinki hyung also had that ambiguous conversation with Jjong. Aish! Why am I always the one left in the dark? What happened to talking things out as a group? Who the hell broke the tradition of no secrets in the household? Psh, without doubt, it is the influence of that rebellious maknae of ours, always going on and on about his privacy and now everyone is doing the same

Key rolled his eyes at the thought as he glanced around the dance studio, absently going through the moves that he remembered from the back of his hand. His gaze settled on Minho first. No, it can’t be him, he just found out about whatever that big secret is after all. Key shifted his sight on the shortest member. It could be him… but it isn’t like him to keep secrets – especially secrets kept from me. Dang! I’m supposed to be the first one he comes to with a secret! Not Minho; nor Jinki! That betrayer! Ever since the accident he has been starting to keep more and more secrets from me… with Jinki.

Key flipped his head forcefully in time with the music and glared at the leader. Of course, who else could it even be? It can only be that idiot of a Lee Jinki. For sure he has gotten the influence of that secretive maknae, Lee Taemin. They are forever whispering to each other about things that make no damn sense to the rest of us. I just can’t believe him; after all that, he is still so insistent on keeping me out of the matters of the heart? What happened to our little touching moment that received a standing ovation just not too long ago?

Well, if they are so insistent on keeping it from me, I’ll just have to go and ask Taemin’s umma. Key smirked craftily at the idea. Did you really think that I’m such a weakling? he directed the unspoken words at the leader. Psh! You’re weaker than me, you stupid depressed old man. I’m Kim Kibum – the Almighty Key – how could you even belittle yours truly? Key narrowed his eyes, shooting imaginary laser beams at the completely oblivious Jinki who sat in the front of the room, observing the team dance silently.

“Alright, that’s all for today,” the dance trainer turned off the stereo and the members heaved an exhausted sigh.

“Guys, we’re needed at conference room 3,” Onew announced in leader-mode. The members grunted or nodded in understanding as they dragged themselves over to their bags. “Chun-Bin, you’re coming with us too,” he continued to address the trainee. Now, that, grasped everyone’s attention as they turned to stare at the young boy.

“M-me?” the trainee stuttered. Onew assured him with a soft smile and nodded.

“You’re needed in the discussion as well,” Onew confirmed.

“Y-Yes, I understand,” Chun-Bin answered, his face lighting up in obvious delight. The members smiled warmly at him, truly happy for the boy’s progress. For sure he would be allowed to debut sometime soon after his deep involvement with the team together with his drastic improvements since they first saw him. With his unending devotion, he definitely deserved to debut soon. Jonghyun pat the trainee’s shoulder in congratulations and young boy’s lips pulled further apart into a huge grin from the swelling feeling in his chest of having a successful sunbae to approve of him.

They walked through the halls in silence, stopping only to get some caffeine into their systems before they collapsed into the comfortable office chairs in the conference room. Most of the members have their limbs sprawled across the tables and chairs but the trainee sat rigidly picking at his fingernails nervously while they waited for whatever they had been called down for. When the staff and manager finally filed into the room noisily, the members sat up awaiting the news that was undoubted important seeing as how they had to arrange a meeting for it.
 

"Alright boys, we're holding your next SHINee World Concert in 2 months. We will announce it after this meeting and start the sales of the tickets in a week. The schedules are a little tight, but we have spoken to your doctor that all of you, less of Onew, should be fit enough for a concert then. We took into account the time you need to practice to get back your vocal range and to record everything. So instead of doing the voice overs first, like usual, we will do the stage formations first. This is Mr Kwan, he will be the overall in-charge of stage formation," the manager gestured to a middle-aged man, with slight wrinkles at the sides of his eyes and lips. The said man nodded once in acknowledgement. The other members nodded back in hesitation, still overwhelmed by the news. The trainee stared wide-eyed, his jaw looking like it would drop off soon. A 4 hour concert and he was a part of it. Not as a backup dancer but as part of the main team.

"This will be Mr Park, the in-charge of the technical," the manager gestured to another man, looking slightly younger than the previous but had a stern look on his face. "And finally, you all know the company's performing coordinator, Ms Kim," the manager finally gestured to the elegant lady who smiled in familiarity at them. "They will be planning the upcoming concert together with your trainers. It's going to get really busy from here so firstly, is there any questions?" The room fell silent at the question for a long while. When the manager almost spoke up again, it was Jonghyun who dared to ask.
 

"Why now? It's such a tight schedule and we are lacking in numbers at the moment. Surely now isn't the best time to be having a concert?" he asked, trying hard to sound polite.
 

"You have not been on singing programs since the accident and I'm sure you know that fans are getting restless. Sure, they say that they would wait, but they will slip away if we do not do anything soon. We had been planning for your comeback before the accident happened. All of you have practiced the choreography and learned the lyrics, but we have unfortunately not done the recording. We spoke to your vocal trainer and he said that now is not a good time for any of you to be recording for a new album. Plus, a music video with just 3 members just isn't going to work. Nor a comeback stage of 3. You are idols, you can go out on variety shows, do radio shows, be audiences and show your faces; but you are also singers and dancers - if you don't sing or dance, your fan base means nothing. You will just be pretty faces. The concert is pretty much the only way to drag time, to tell the fans that SHINee is coming back; that SHINee is still as good as it always has been. It wouldn't be as immediate as a comeback or going to live broadcast, a concert will allow you to heal from the accident until then," the vice-president of the company explained from where he had been sitting quietly since the start. Another heavy silence dawned on the room. The manager cleared his throat lightly to clear the dark mood.

"Any other questions?"

"Will there be someone else to take Taemin's position? Chun-Bin is taking my position so there will be 4 of them dancing?" Onew asked. The trainee lowered his head, tugging his chin to his chest shyly.
 

"No, only 4 of you will be dancing. Honestly, there is no knowing when Taemin will be able to come back, and to leave a trainee there for every single time you perform for so long isn't going to be very good. As much as none of you wants to replace Taemin, the fans don’t want that either. Putting in a trainee to take his position might spark negative reactions from the fans," the performing coordinator answered gently. "Since Chun-Bin, here, will only be helping out until Onew is better, it wouldn't induce such reactions – at least not to the same extent as for Taemin."

"Questions?" the manager asked once again when silence filled the room. "No? Then let's carry on to plot out the stage formations and song selections." With that said, the vice-president silently left the room since the general matters were confirmed. His departure eased the tension in the room which kept everyone on their toes from the presence of such an important figure.

Slowly, as time passed, they started to pull their chairs closer together, each with a pen and paper before them. They formulated the general stage directions, drew out the rough plan for their song selection - choosing more of the mellow songs than usual since they were still unsure of how much they could recover by then. Finally, they distributed the work load, leaving the job of merging songs together to Jonghyun who worked alongside with the technical in-charge, the job of stage coverage to Key and the stage coordinator, the job of prop details to Onew who used the opportunity to teach the trainee along as well, and the job of storylines for videos to Minho who worked it out with the performing coordinator. Since the dance choreography needed the sequence and intervals of the songs, they settled with pushing that to the back.

"What do we have for a stage? There are the usual up and down platforms, and the rotating platforms, but will there be that moving stage that is near the fans? Those that guide us toward the main stage?" Key asked the stage coordinator, drawing out a few variations of their usual stage usage on his paper and listing the songs that each of them matched up to.

"That's would be a good idea. I'll have to make some calls to make sure if is available. Excuse me for a moment," Mr Kwan swiftly whipped out his phone and started scrolling down his contact list. Watching him made Key remember about having to call Taemin's mother. Now that the thought came to him, he was getting a little impatient to know as well. Before Mr Kwan completely left the corner that they took, Key whipped out his phone from his pocket as well.

"I need to make a quick call as well," he announced more than asked for permission. The other who was already putting the phone against his ear frowned but nodded tightly. Key exited the room, which thankfully since everyone was busy with their own parts, no one had not realized that he sneaked out. Closing the door silently behind him, he leaned against the wall of the empty corridor and dialled for Taemin's mother.

"Ahh, Kibum-ssi, how is everything with all of you?" the warm voice greeted almost as if nothing was different from their normal days.

"We're doing fine. Actually, I called to ask about Taemin. How have he been? Is he getting better?" Key asked, cutting to the chase. After all, he couldn't stay for a leisure chat now when he was supposed to be working on the stage formations.

"Yes... Well, yes, he is doing considerably better. He is started to open his eyes now so I can at least try and understand what he's thinking when I look into his eyes. It's just that I'm a little worried for him. It really hit him hard and I don't know how to make it better. I asked Jinki-ssi to try and talk to him and I heard that Jonghyun-ssi have been here just earlier today, but he still doesn't look any better," the motherly voice showed her deepest worries as she confided in Key. "If even you guys can't bring him out of this, I don't know who else I can turn to."

"Sorry, it hit him very hard? Which it are you talking about?" Key asked, trying not to seem as if he was clueless but instead acted out to be a little confused with the ambiguity of the terms.

"What? Of course I'm referring to his depression. What else could there be?" Taemin's mother went on to say more but Key heard none of it. The wheels in his mind were whirling to process the information he just attained. How could that boy ever get depression? He has always been sure of himself, overconfident at times - but thankfully, only when he was sure of it. He has plans for the future; he has passion for his present; he learns from his past. How could such a person ever get depression? Impossible.

"You've got to be kidding me," Key muttered, cutting off the unheard words of the other on the line.

"Sadly, I'm not joking," the woman sighed. Now, Key wished he had listened more closely to what she was saying. "He's devastated. He just cries all day and I just don't know what to do," the elder woman's voice broke, emphasizing the heartbreak she was getting.

“Listen,” Key finally said, gulping nervously as he tried not to freak out and give himself away, “We’ll do what we can. He’ll get better soon when he realizes that he is going to be alright; and I’m sure he will be alright. Taemin is capable of making the impossible possible when he wants it hard enough. He’s going to be fine,” Key assured – even though he wasn’t really sure of he was assuring himself or the woman on the other line.

“I know,” she sighed. “It’s just really hard to watch him suffer on his own. It mustn’t feel good to lose your grasp of life. I really want to help him; but all I can do is wait. Even though he hasn’t been with us for many years because of his pursue to his dreams, he is still my son – and all I want is for him to be happy.”

“I understand,” Key answered in a comforting tone, warily watching the door pull open to reveal the stage coordinator. “We’ll try and talk to him again soon. Sorry, I really have to go but I’ll try and think of ways to cheer him up.”

“Alright, thanks a lot Kibum.”

“Keep me updated… Take care,” Key answered, before stepping towards the door back to the room, hiding his face of any hints of the new information he acquired even though deep inside, he was utterly heartbroken.

May 1, 2013 21:17:08

Bah, the ending was kinda abrupt wasn't it? But I was dragging the chapter a little to long already so I had to end it.

Following up on Why So Serious, my collection of the album was brought forward (hurray!) But I got another Key card. That makes 3 of his cards already. Probably going to trade it if possible...

Sudden confession: I actually really look up to Taemin if you could say it that way? He's only 2 years older than me and he has already achieved so much in his life while I'm still here doing nothing much. Well, I do look up to all of them to be truthful, it's just that I just watched the weekly idol where that cutie voted for himself. It was a large part of why he was my number 1 bias for so long until Onew came and spoiled it all. And with this WSS comeback, he has been taking most of Jonghyun's lines, together with his own lines plus his role as main dancer... Sometimes I really want to cry for him knowing that some fans are even unhappy that he has too many parts. Yea, I get that they want their own bias to get more lines as well. Onew should get more lines, his voice is beautiful and just urg! But give Taemin some credit man. Having those lines meant that he had to practice more, exert more during the performances and those lines aren't even fixed for him - they're Jjong's. As much as I love all of them, I will never ever think of being an idol. There is no such thing as an offday. Offdays still mean that fans follow you, paparazzis still keep track of what you are doing. So, not only to SHINee, but to all idol groups, hats off to you!