"Hyung, if you can take it all back, don't. Those mistakes are worth keeping." Kyungsan mumbled to him out of no where as the two were rinsing the dishes. The remark came out of no where, yet it fit perfectly like the last missing piece of the puzzle.

Silence followed after that remark as the sounding of the water and clicking of silverware was the only thing heard.

"Anyone home!" Dongwoo called out as the front door slammed open. Hoya was beginning to regret telling him where the spare key was hidden. He heard other voices, familiar voices. Kyungsan jumped off the stool he was standing on and race to the living room where he tried to tackled down one of his hyungs.

Hoya followed slowly. Kyungsan was trying to take down Dongwoo who was two times his size. Kyungsan had adjusted quicker than Hoya assumed. Of course it didn't take much work after his new brother met the guys. They freaked out when Hoya had told them that he had adopted the little monster trying to take Dongwoo down.

It was all a blur to him afterwards. Dongwoo's hyperactive laugh, Myungsoo's growling, Sungjong's diva-act, it all flowed into one. And here he found himself standing on the balcony looking down at the city. He wasn't going to lie, to was freezing cold. It had snow the night before, a thin layer of white covered the city, the air was chilly and cold, the wind was strong and cruel. But that almost didn't matter to him. He was breathing, that's all he cared about. Was this how she felt? Was this how she felt whenever she came out here. She could breathe. It made sense. JiAh was breathing underwater every time she was with him, so maybe this was her escape.

"How long has it been?" He heard someone remark. He turned around to find Sunggyu standing behind him, hands stuffed in his jacket pockets. He looked like he was freezing, the cold was bothering him. But oddly enough Hoya wasn't bothered by the cold. Now that he thought about it, he never was. Even as a child, when other children would run back in because of the chilly weather, he stayed out, drowning himself in the winter wonderland around him. Just like JiAh who spent her hours drenching in the icy wonderland he claimed as his hell.

"How long has it been?" Sunggyu repeated stepping towards Hoya who had returned his gaze to the city below. The question was a general one, but both men knew what, or rather who the question was referring to..

"32 days." Hoya answered softly. 32 days, each and every one of those days he had spent counting the stars, asking, questioning, prying, probing. 32 days of hell. 32 days since she walked out of his life. He heard Sunggyu inhaled deeply before shaking his head as if in disbelief.

"You ed up bad man. So bad." Sunggyu confirmed what both already did. Hoya knew, almost better than everybody, he was a idiot, a jerk, a coward too scare to chase after what he wanted. "You're an idiot." Sunggyu stated. Quite honestly he wanted to see how long it would take before Hoya cracked. Sadly, Hoya had found his loop hole that came in the size of an eight year old boy who reminded all of them a lot of the wife Hoya let walk away.

"Did you come out here to just insult me?" Hoya questioned, his mind wasn't in this conversation, but instead, observing the world around them. When was the last time he actually observed the world, not look, but observe. Was this how she saw the world?

"No. I came here to teach you something, remember, that's what you asked for."

"What?"

"What was the first thing you said to me when we first met?"

"Hyung, give me back my toy airplane."

"Before that you idiot." Sunggyu hissed.

"Hyung, teach me something." Hoya answered. He remembered it like yesterday. He was seven, Sunggyu was nine. It was at another one of those high classed tea parties that they both loathed. Hoya had received a brand toy airplane from his mother. She had brought it back from Europe. Apparently he wasn't the best flyer and the toy plane kept crashing every other minute. Sunggyu had showed up, suggesting he would teach Hoya how to fly it properly.

"Good, now let's get going." Sunggyu stated as he turned around, ready to leave. Sunggyu too, remember the day. It was the day he met his good friend. He even remembered the question he asked Hoya. "Why do you like airplanes?" He asked. "Because they can fly." They can take you anywhere." Hoya replied back. If only people could fly, if only.

Kyungsan would be safe with the guys, hopefully. Sunggyu assumed nothing would happen. None heard the two as they returned back in, the group had migrated to the kitchen where they were pigging out.

"Hyung." Kyungsan called to Hoya as he ran from the kitchen towards Hoya. He had a familiar book in his hands. Hoya knew which book it was. JiAh's book. He still kept it tucked under his pillows. Kyungsan had caught him reading it a few days ago.

"Hey, Hyung's going to be away for a while. Can you try and keep all the monkeys in check?" Hoya mused. Kyungsan nodded before placing the book in Hoya's hand.

"Hyung, I want to teach you something." Kyungsan stated. He was already teaching Hoya. "Hyung, why do you do it?" He asked innocently.

"Do what?"

"Pretend like you don't hurt?" He mumbled his a pout on his face. He was at the age where he would question every thing, every small detailed was examined and looked deeply upon. Hoya thought it was amusing, that an eight year old saw what most didn't.

He didn't answer back. How could he when he didn't know the answer himself. He was as clueless as always.

"Exactly." Kyungsan stated with a proud smile on his face. Hoya narrowed his thick brows. He was confused. Sunggyu who had stood in the background like a marble statue this whole thing chuckled, reminding Hoya he was also there.

"Whenever someone asks you a hard question, you don't answer. Whenever you have to do something hard, you don't do it. Its because hyung is scared of being wrong and rejected, and alone. Hyung would rather do nothing and let it pass then chase after it, knowing there's a chance it'll get away anyways. I think its stupid. But what do I know."

If only the child in front of him knew how much that precious head of his understood. He held all the secrets and magic of the universe. His mind was a mirror reflecting the universe as it was, no illusions, no disorder, just the raw truth.

Kyungsan turned around, running back to the kitchen leaving his hyung in utter shock.

"Amen to that boy right there." Sunggyu spoke stepping towards Hoya and dragging him out the door.

"Where are we going?" Hoya questioned. He didn't like the idea of being pulled somewhere blind eyed.

"I'm teaching you something, just like you asked the first time we met."

"Teaching me what?" Hoya questioned.

"We'll figure it out once we see that ice princess of yours."

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