♥ Ai: Past ♥
Lady Love
♥ Ai ♥
"Oh my, he's number one again this month!" a female student exclaimed, pointing to the announcement board. "I don't think anyone will ever win from him!"
Her friend chuckled, "Lee Byunghun is our school's pride anyway. Did you taste his Swiss roll last week? It's so delicious!"
I looked at the monthly list of top scores and found my name on the twenty ninth spot. I walked pass the crowd, heading to the backyard where I could spend my breaktime every Tuesday before my class started.
It's my last year in Le Cordon Bleu yet I still had no interest in finding out which one Lee Byunghun was. He was really famous into the extend where students called him Bleu's pride.
We never shared the same class in our first year and he had not yet gained the spotlight during the year. However in the second year, he joined the student exchange to the school expansion in London.
There he showed his skills which gained attention from here and there. He returned to Seoul for his last year and, once again, became the center of attention with his name as top scorer every month in monthly quizes.
Meanwhile I was only an ordinary student at school. No one really paid attention to me because I was their average student who did good enough in class and never looked for trouble.
I was going to sit under the tree like I always did when I saw someone already sat there. His eyes were closed and he didn't seem to notice my presence.
When I decided to leave instead, he woke up, stretching out his hands and murmured out loud, "Ah, I had a good nap!"
I stopped on my feet and glanced at the guy who looked back at me, blinking for numerous times before giving me a wide grin, "Isn't this a beautiful place to spend your time?"
I had no intention of looking for Lee Byunghun but it didn't mean I knew nothing about him; I once saw his face on the school magazine so I knew who the guy in front of me was.
It's Lee Byunghun.
♥ ♥ ♥
"Ai? Ai? Ai!" Minhyuk's voice snaps me back to my senses. I stop pouring the tea into Joon's cup and looks at him. "Are you alright?"
"Hmm," I answer shortly and finally realize why he suddenly asked me that question; I accidentally kept pouring the drink to the cup when it's already full. "I-I'm sorry, Joon. I'm going to get a-"
Minhyuk stands up and pats my shoulder twice, "I'll get it in the kitchen. Have the details talk with Joon Hyung."
I heave a sigh, scolding myself for feeling like a fool that I didn't focus on what I was doing just now. I should be discussing with Joon right now.
Minhyuk was waiting in front of the cafe when I returned with Joon. I was supposed to tell Joon about my idea for asking him meet up with Miyoung on Thursday...
...but I guess the surprise meeting I had with Lee Byunghun just hours ago chose to stay in my mind.
"Ai?" Joon calls out my name. "Your shirt..."
I look down and notice that my shirt is somehow soaked because of the tea. I click my tongue and excuse myself to change my shirt first.
I stop whatever I'm doing after changing my shirt when my eyes fall on a photo frame I put next to my bed. However it's not what I'm thinking about.
Sitting on my bed, I pull out another photo frame from the locker below and smile bitterly, looking at a picture of me and Byunghun, smiling to the camera.
One year ago, we took this picture just right three days before that day.
A day that I don't really want to remember.
♥ ♥ ♥
"What do you think?" I asked him for the twenty-fourth times today with anxiety. "Is it too sweet? Ah, no, it's not sweet enough?"
He his lips, raising the eyebrow instead of giving me an answer. I whined childishly, an act that I didn't think I would do in front of others, "Yah, Joe! Just tell me already!"
Byunghun let out a laughter before putting away the small plate of cake. He suddenly pulled me closer to him without leaving his seat, looking up at me, "If it's not sweet enough, I know what taste sweeter."
I hit his shoulder lightly, "Yah! I'm serious here!"
"It's indeed too sweet, isn't it?" I walked away from him and took a small bite of the cake I just made for the competition which would take place in three days. "Ah, I will never win."
"Ai," Byunghun called my name and, when I turned to look at him, he stopped me from asking a question by pressing his lips on mine. His left arm wrapped my shoulder as an assurance I would not pull away until he did first. "Seriously, you think too much, Ai."
And with that my anxiety vanished to nowhere. I let myself to be hugged by the guy who had been like another part of me in these last seven months, inhaling his favorite mint fragrance.
Were we a couple? I didn't know. Had someone asked me about our relationship? Not that I could remember. Did one of us ever mention the word of love? Never.
It just happened without me even realizing how close we were. We never really showed up together in school but we spent hours together to discuss recipes, try new cakes, and talk about random stuff.
Two months passed and, one day, when I helped him with dinner at his apartment, which happened to be the most visited place for me after school and kitchen, he gave me my first kiss.
I didn't know if I was stupid or else but I didn't slap him or threw the plate I had to him. I felt like I could explode and my heart beat uncontrollably but I wasn't mad at him.
Perhaps I had fallen for him even before I could stop myself. Maybe it's because his eye smile, his happy laughter, his sweet compliment, his gentle eyes, or maybe his confidence.
"You are a great pattisiere, Ai," Byunghun pinched my left cheek playfully. "It's not the matter of winning or not. Besides you're always on first place for me. Now why don't we took a picture to prepare the celebration for your delicious preparation?"
As cheesy as always...
...but to know that everything was fake in the end really hurt me.
"Joe!" I entered our school baking practice room without even bothering to knock first. I knew he would be here, especially because he didn't attend the competition.
As if he knew I would never win.
Byunghun just sat there with a recipe book in his hand. He looked up with his usual smile as the greeting, "Ai."
I clenched my fists in anger, hoping that this was all just my worst assumption, that it would be the biggest lie if Byunghun actually wanted me to lose on purpose.
The judges announced me as the fifth place out of five contestants. My creation of mille-feuille was too sweet. It was not good, both for health and all. They docked my points from full score. They asked if I asked someone to test it before and wondered if the person actually wanted to help me or else.
I didn't want to think of anything but the fact that some audiences kept asking why Lee Byunghun, our school's pride, didn't join the annual school competition before we graduated next month, really annoyed me.
"Why didn't you tell me that I didn't do any good?" I asked him directly. "Are you trying to... Do you really want me to lose?"
I was expecting him to tell me that I was just ranting. I was speaking non sense. I was not thinking straight.
But he didn't.
"Ah, is it so obvious now?" Byunghun closed the book and stood up. "You believe me too much, Ai."
"You're too sweet...," he walked to me, reaching out his hand to touch my cheek, "...and innocent."
My blood boiled inside and, before I could think, I had raised my right hand and slapped him. I didn't cry but I was really angry.
More to myself, actually, to believe that there was no such thing called rivalry between us, between the top student and a girl who was encouraged to join a pastry competition for the first time because of him.
"Are you happy now, Lee Byunghun?" I hissed coldly. I turned around and left the room, not having the urge to stop and apologize to him.
That's the last time we talked.
Since that day, he disappeared. He didn't even show up on our graduation day. People said he received a really good offer in Japan.
Little did everyone know mille-feuille became my favorite cake because of him yet it's also the one that always brought bitter memories back to me.
My heart was locked ever since then.
Even though I always believed that everyone deserved to be loved, I never let myself to love again.
♥ ♥ ♥
I put the photo frame back to its place and heave a sigh, warning myself that I need to focus with my plan for Joon and Miyoung.
"Nothing will change, Joe," I whisper to myself before heading back downstairs to meet with Minhyuk and Joon.
Because what hurts the most is not that your heart is broken into pieces by someone.
It's when your heart is taken by them and they never plan to return it to you.
They just take it and keep it for themselves.
Letting you to hate how bitter love could be yet would never come to hate them because you love them too much.
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