Letting Go
My Adorable Bodyguard
As soon as the door closed behind him, Kyuhyun was surprised to feel something hit his right cheek hard. He his right cheek and ignores the pain as he saw Yunho was standing in front of him, with a dark expression.
“That’s for making him cry.” Yunho said angrily and landed another punch at Kyuhyun’s left cheek. “That’s for everything you had done to him!”
Kyuhyun bit his lips as he tried again to ignore the pain from Yunho’s punches. It hurts, but the pain that his heart is feeling right now is more agonizing. He wiped the blood from the corner of his lips with the back of his hand and still lowered his gaze. He deserved that. He deserves that for hurting Sungmin, for still being trapped in his past, for walking out of Sungmin’s life. Yunho has all the right to hurt him and he won’t fight back.
“You are going to regret this, Cho Kyuhyun! Never show yourself to him again.” Yunho said before going inside the office.
“I know.” Kyuhyun whispered to himself before walking away from that place. For every heavy step he takes, his heart is heart tightens and he tried to swallow a hard lump on his troat. He needed to stay away from Sungmin until he finally realized that he had moved on from his past. It would be unfair for Sungmin if he still can’t let Ryeowook go. He wanted to talk to Ryeowook and asked him what happened between him and Yesung when they left. He tried calling him, but Ryeowook didn’t answer any of his calls. He knows he’ll definitely regret what he had done to Sungmin, but he made a promise to himself that he’ll come back for him once he’s free. He can only hope that Sungmin will wait and still accept him.
But why does he still have a special place for Ryeowook in his heart? After seeing him again after a long time, he wanted to make up everything with him. He wanted to hug him, kiss him, and whisper tender words to him again. He wanted to return to the past where they were still happily in love with each other. But Sungmin loves him, and he loves him too. He’s too confused and hurt right now. He can’t choose between them and it hurts seeing one of them cry because of him. Sungmin was right for telling him that he’s the one who’s dense between them. He closed his eyes and let tears fall down as an image of Sungmin’s hurtful expression flashed through him. He wanted to go back and hug him, tells him that everything would be okay, and asked him to wait for him. But he knows Yunho would be there to comfort Sungmin. He would be there to do all the things that he was supposed to do to him.
Kyuhyun whispered to himself, imagining that Sungmin is beside him. “I’m sorry, Sungmin. I hate myself for hurting you, but I should do that. I’ll come back if all of these are through. Please wait for me. And if you can’t……” He paused as the pain in knowing that Sungmin won’t wait for him gnaws his heart. “If you can’t wait, be with Yunho instead. I will still love you, no matter what.”
~*~*~*~*~
“We’re here.” Yunho said as he parked his car in front of Sungmin’s house. Sungmin was still sitting motionless at the passenger’s seat, with his head still lowered. Yunho grabbed Sungmin’s hand and used his other hand to lift Sungmin’s chin. Sungmin’s eyes were red and puffy and he’s biting his lips while trying to prevent another flood of tears from escaping his eyes.
Yunho gently Sungmin’s cheek. “I wish I can take all of the pain you are feeling right now. That way, I can still see you smile brightly and heal my aching heart. I don’t know how to help you ease that pain, but I will always be here to help you in moving forward. I promise you that I’ll always be here as your one true best friend till the end. Cry until you can. Let it all out. I will just be here.”
Sungmin stared at Yunho’s eyes and his vison became clouded with tears. “W-why? I… I wish I can tell my heart to love you instead.”
Yunho shook his head and smiled at him. “You don’t have to. I’ve always been a loser from the start. I don’t want you to push yourself in loving me in return. I am contented to have you near me, Sungmin.”
“Kiss me.” Sungmin suddenly blurted out which surprised Yunho. “Make me feel your love for me, Yunho.”
“Sungmin.”
“Please.” Sungmin said pleadingly, while tears raced down his eyes. “Help me in falling in love with you. You never gave up on me and I badly wanted to return that love you have for me.”
“Sungmin, I told you that you don’t have to love me in return.” Yunho replied as he tried his best not to do what Sungmin was asking him.
“Just one kiss.” Sungmin whispered before encircling both of his arms at the back of Yunho’s head.
“I don’t want you to hate me after this. Minnie, I can’t do this to you.”
“I won’t hate you, Yunho.” Sungmin whispered and Yunho can’t resist anymore as he looked at Sungmin’s m-shaped lips before capturing it in a sweet kiss. Sungmin closed his eyes and his tears kept on falling down, as he replied to Yunho’s sweetness. He felt Yunho held his waist and he tried to deepen their kiss. While kissing Yunho, he suddenly felt Kyuhyun’s lips on his own that made him start kissing Yunho in a passionate way.
Yunho was taken aback when Sungmin started nibbling his lower lip and asking for an entrance to his cavern. He wanted to lose himself in their kiss, but he knows this is wrong. He had wanted to taste Sungmin’s lips for a long time, but not in his current state. Sungmin is so broken and he doesn’t want to take advantage of him. He loves him, but he never wanted Sungmin to force himself to love him back. With a heavy heart, Yunho gently pushed Sungmin away from him. “I’m sorry.” He whispered as soon as their lips broke apart.
Realizing what he had done, Sungmin immediately let go of Yunho. He lowered his eyes in embarrassment as he muttered a soft, “I’m really sorry, Yunho.”
Yunho tried to smile despite the pain he’s feeling. “Don’t be sorry. I should be the one to apologize for doing that.”
“You didn’t do anything. It was me who initiated that. I’m really sorry. I should’ve not done that.”
“No. I should thank you, then. I will treasure that kiss we had shared for as long as I live.” Yunho said in sincerity.
Sungmin looked at him and smiled. “You are really a good person, Yunho. I am so glad to meet someone like you. Thank you for all the things you had done for me and for staying by my side always. I hope you’ll find someone who will love you just like the way you had loved me.”
“If you are telling me to find someone like you, that’ll be the hardest type of mission to do. Unless you have a long lost twin, then I’ll gladly find him and make him fall for me.” Yunho said trying to brighten up the mood, and he smiled when he heard Sungmin chuckled.
“I will also recommend you to him.” Sungmin replied before wiping his tears away. “I am such a cry-baby.”
“Oh! Yes you are!” Yunho agreed, hearing another laugh from Sungmin. He pinched Sungmin’s nose. “But crying doesn’t mean you are weak.”
“Thanks a lot, Yunho.” Sungmin smiled before opening the car’s door and stepping outside. He glanced at Yunho and saluted at him with a happy smile on his lips. “You’re the best!” Sungmin shouted before running towards his apartment.
Yunho watched Sungmin ran and tears slowly fell down his eyes. Sungmin can never love him back and friends are all they can ever be. This is it. He will finally let him go. It hurts but he should learn to love himself too. As Sungmin stepped inside his apartment and closed the door, Yunho knows that it’s really time for him to let his feelings go. After their mission, he will resign and go to other place so he can forget about him. That way, he’ll be able to heal his broken heart and maybe, just maybe, he’ll find a new love.
~*~*~*~*~
Sungmin went inside his room and found Yesung staring blankly outside the window. He composed himself before calling his brother’s name.
“Hyung?”
Yesung turned his head towards him and he saw how sad his hyung’s expression is. “There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”
“What is it, hyung?” Sungmin asked worriedly.
“I want you to resign and quit your job as an undercover police agent. I want you to come with me to America and start a new life.” Yesung replied.
“H-how about, Ryeowook?” Sungmin asked trying to avoid his brother’s gaze. He heard Yesung heaved a sigh before sitting at the edge of his bed.
“About him… I actually wanted to ask you who is Kyuhyun in your life. After what happened in your office, I’ve never seen you so happy again.” Yesung replied before looking at Sungmin again. “Do you love him?”
“I…” Sungmin tried to swallow a hard lump on his throat as he tried to find some words to answer Yesung.
“I know you do. I was hoping that after going back here, I’ll be able to give assurance to myself that Ryeowook had really gotten over Kyuhyun, that it is me who he really loves now. But after he saw him, he started avoiding me. I don’t know what I had done. I don’t know what else I would do to keep him. I guess I am just a nobody to him. I love him, but I don’t know if he feels the same way.” Yesung said between sobs and Sungmin immediately rushed towards him and hugged him. “I guess I should just let him go.”
It breaks Sungmin’s heart watching his brother like this. They were both being used by the people whom they entrusted their hearts with. Maybe it would really be best if he will start moving on and start a new life with his brother.
“I’ll go with you, hyung. Take me with you.” Sungmin whispered while his brother’s back soothingly.
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(A/N) OMG! Why am I crying all of a sudden? So weird of me.....
I'm really sorry for this angst... but I will make it up to all of you...forgive me~~
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