Start of a new arc!!! From 'Jieun's Mischief' (ch. 6 to 17) to ...?

 

 

 

Hits, hits, and hits… What did I ever do wrong? What harm did I ever do?

 

That day is still fresh in my mind. After all, it just happened. I still feel the pain from the punches, from the insults. Never have I thought of writing this entry. But I did because I still want to remember what happened afterwards…

 

 

“YAH! Who do you think you are to bully my bro, huh?! Guess you didn’t learn your lesson, did you?”

“Ah it’s the witch!” In a matter of seconds, Dara had brought the boys to the floor, the clothes now filthy from the sand and dirt. Dara was taller than them at the time – she had just gotten her height boost from puberty – so she was even more intimidating… not that she couldn’t be even  if she were shorter.

“Who the heck are you calling witch you brat?!” she yelled, grabbing the kid’s shirt. “Nobody. I said NOBODY. HITS. MY. BROTHER!!”

With that, the big-headed bullies turned into puny rats; they ran their hearts out, tears flooded from the corner of their eyes, formed by fear.

 

The sunset depicting the scenery, Dara tapped her hands clean and dusted off the spec of dirt on her shoulder. Her hands on her waist, the sunlight enhanced her heroic stance, making her seem to me like she was the actual source of sunrays. From a low angle, I was looking at her back, admiring my big sister. Pain soon disappeared for an instant, and a smile plastered on my mind.

Dara turned around; she was frowning and gritting her teeth from anger. Soon enough, the flare in her eyes dissipated and she was back to the crybaby Dara.

 

“Sanghyunnie!!!!” she was crying and hugged me; it didn’t matter to her whether I was dirty or not. Well, in any case, she was going to dirty me even more with her snot.

 

“Dara, don’t touch me. I’m all filthy,” I said, smiling. I looked down at my body and realized I was dirtier than what my imagination had made me believe. I disgustingly lifted my hand and stared incredulously at what I had just squished.

 

“Ah,” she said with a sniffling nose, “it’s dog poop.”

 

“Ewww,” I whined.

 

“Don’t worry, Gaedong-ah. As long as you’re safe, no dog poo can harm you.”

 

“Hey who are you calling dog poop!” I pouted still staring at the dirty hand. She smiled and helped me up – by pulling the other hand of course.

 

“From now on, it’s your new nickname,” she stated, making it official. I remembered how she would always help me when we were younger no matter how ridiculous she looked with two missing baby teeth. We walked to our home together in the sunset.

 

 

 

My big sis’ will always be my big sis’.

 

[…]

 

 

I read the entry, not missing one bit of the heartwarming sensation it brings. I couldn’t help but get lost in the scene… I had wished to be there and actually ‘remember’ something like that, but the outside world nowadays only displayed coolness from the start of the year. I figured I had just not found that ray of sunlight yet.

 

 

 

Life seemed to have gone smoothly since the incident with Jieun. Seungho and I have become much closer since then. He was happy that Sanghyun had not let his feelings take over. It was easy for me, basically because I had no link to Jieun. And, soon enough, the whole school would rather not 'have a link' or deal with Jieun. To briefly explain, I've not been here long, but I know well enough that rumors spread fast. Although it is true that, in such a 'prestigious' school of 'elite hard-working students', homework, assignments and whatnot take the most of everyone's time, there was a small omnipresent time dedicated to talk about this and that, anything and nothing. It has only been a couple of weeks, and stories, none of them quite close to reality, had spread secretly through the hallways. Some claim I have great personality traits which I own none of. At least, I know I am none of that great justice-loving fighter: I'm just a coward at heart, but that is willing to help those that are dear to me.

Nonetheless, as it seems, the fact that Jieun left Anyang to leave for Seoul because of me was the result of something heroic...

Day by day, I became accustomed to everything in my daily routine. Seungho, for the most part, had helped me a lot, but we never did much together at school. We would greet, like he would politely greet a lot of people, but I was too shy to approach him when he was with friends. He never seemed to have much close friends. He was always talking with one, then the other. If one observed him enough, maybe as excessively as I do, he never stayed with the same people at school. I would not stay with him much either; I was maybe scared of popularity.

I sat and read the journal in the section of the library where there were fewer students than in the halls and luckily, it was next to the large windows. I observed the outside world. Sure, I was used to all of this, it wasn’t the sunset that I hoped for, the sky was covered by grey clouds... it was nothing out of the ordinary, but I admired the light that still shone through the fluffy layer to give enough natural lighting in the vast room. Sitting there by myself was entertaining; sometimes, not doing anything can easily make one happy.
 

It was what I did every lunch hour. I was alone, and received less attention after the rumors spread. Seungho was not involved in the stories, and I didn't want him to be. He seems to like little company at times, so I didn't stay with him at school as to not feed the rumors. Yes, 'they' whoever spread those stories, knew something was linked to a love triangle or another shape of some sort. How did they know?

In fact, what was that small spark that pushed them to make a whole story? Was it truly that obvious?

What I do know is if they knew Seungho was involved, it would only lead to more drama, and the situation would be even more dramatic, assuming there was a glimpse of drama to begin with. The rumors would not have disappeared as fast as they did.

 

The lingering thought of knowing that one's every move could be misunderstood, could even hinder one later on was uncomfortable. As I made my way out of the library I thought there was no place for the different here. I don't believe that differences make a big deal out of things, but in this world, being out of the norm was 'unique'. That's where everything goes wrong. That's when people tell themselves, 'Hey, there's something wrong here'.
Immersed in my thoughts, I didn't realize that a student was walking at a fast and nervous pace before me. When he hit my shoulder, he was startled and quickly apologized.

"Sorry," he said hastily.

"It's ok," I smiled, and he contoured me and left.

 

I thought I recognized him. He was in my class. Very invisible, like I was and like I had wished to stay.

Soon a group of students angrily advanced to me.

“Have you seen Byunghee?” Oh, that’s his name.

I just put my index finger on my lips. We were in a library for all I know. “We’re in a library,” I whispered. They seemed irritated with my poor will to cooperate. I just confidently stayed where I was.

One of them chuckled in disbelief. “Acting all tough after that incident are we?” This person wasn’t good with the word ‘silence’.

I just shook my head. I never wanted attention. I didn’t do anything much to receive it. It is only the others who gave me too much, I concluded. I looked before me; the students were getting impatient and settled that I was not going to help them at all. What did they want from Byunghee anyway?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After school, Seungho and I met at the restaurant. I never came back there as a worker but always as a customer. I ordered, ate and paid like any regular customer. I felt bad though because it was Sandara’s money, but she kept on telling me that money is meant to be spent, and since she didn’t have time to cook anything for me, I should at least spent it on food that she believes is good instead of trying to cook something myself and fail. “That would be a greater waste of money,” she teased me, but I believed that, although she was joking, she was right.

 

“Oi Sanghyun,” Seungho passed his hand left to right. “Your head is in the clouds again.”

“What?” I stopped my train of thought after I heard that. I held my head in disbelief.

Seungho chuckled. “It means you’re zoned out, not focusing.”

“Ah ok,” I said embarrassed, but he seemed to be enjoying teaching me random things like that.

“Hey, do you want to visit the street markets later?” he asked.

“Does that mean spending money again?” I joked. He knew I was uneasy spending Sandara’s money.

“Not necessarily,” he smiled. “We can just look at what’s on display.”

“Sure then,” I said.

 

 

I said goodbye to Dara and told her I won’t come back late. She told me to leave the cellphone on this time, something that I always forget to do when I go out.

 

As we walked out of the restaurant, the night sky had already draped itself above our heads. This season, the moon would shine longer during the evening, but noticeably, the weather was getting warmer and the sunset would come a bit later. Snow was still present, but it slowly melted along with the ice. Tonight was a mild night; it wasn’t too chilly for a winter day. No snow falling from the sky, no wind to blow on undercovered skin, no coolness that could get through our warm coats.

Seungho and I visited the food they sold by the streets. Sometimes we just observed because it warmed our faces, sometimes Seungho pointed to me interesting meals he loves to eat. At times he wanted to eat them, but he restrained himself from eating more. After all, with the quantity he had just eaten half an hour ago, I wonder how he could more.

“You know,” Seungho said, “I used to come here when I feel down...”

I looked around. It was, although not quiet nor too peaceful, relaxing to observe.

“I was hoping you could help me gain better memories from this place.”

I nodded and asked, “Is it because you don't get good feelings here anymore?”

“Well... I just felt this place deserved a better purpose... Somewhere where I will feel much happier...”

He paused a little and we continued walking.

“See, there's this person who's the one making me come back here. I wished to come back here for that person again, but for happier reasons...”

 

It didn't make much sense to me, but it felt like a touchy subject. I felt bad to push further.

 

That night, I learned a lot, like I did every day with him. I learned how to enjoy a walk in the cold, gaining the warmth of happy people all around. Even the drunk people seemed happy. After having visited many shops, we decided to sit down where it was much less crowded with people. It was a bench in a nearby park facing a long body of water – I supposed it was a smaller branch of the Han River. The water reflected the moon and a lonely boat passed silently over the once-still reflection. Streetlights and moonlight shone above this bench, but it was still pretty dark.

“You cold?” he asked.

“Hm?” I was dozing off again.

He brought up his warm hands and held my cheeks. Shocked at how cold I was, I brought my hands and held his hands. His were so warm, and I realized how unknowingly cold I was.

“Why don’t you put your scarf in a better way?”

He unrolled my red scarf, and carefully put it back again over my head, to the back of my neck.

“I can put it mys–”

 

 

 

All I saw was his eyes look into mine, and close slowly. All I noticed was his pull on the scarf, bringing me forward. I heard nothing. All my senses were overwhelmed by his lips. He’s kissing me…

I felt myself blush, but I couldn’t pull away. I put my hand on his thigh, trying to put a distance, but he held it firmly, his warmth contrasting with the growing warmness of my hand. He held my neck and brought me closer as he leaned into the kiss. I was growing fonder of his feeling that I also started kissing him back. I closed my eyes, immediately appreciating the exhilarating feeling my whole body felt. I slowly brought the hand on his thigh to his face, brushing my fingers through his hair as we still kissed chastely yet still somewhat heatedly. He pulled back, letting the both of us catch a breath. We looked back at each other, our warm breaths visible in the cool air. Realizing what I had just done, I slid to the extremity of the bench.

“W-what this?” I snapped out, stuttering. “Is t-this sort of things h-humans do n-normally?”

“No,” he replied, making me realize I said my thoughts aloud. “It’s only when one feels a special feeling for another. I taught you that already haven’t I?”

I gulped, bringing my fingers to my warm lips. It actually felt good. I did enjoy it, the kiss.

“I guess you can already figure out my feelings. I wonder how I should’ve told you,” he paused. “I hope it was the better option.” He looked at me, moonlight shone in his dark eyes, startled to find me back closer to his side. I took his hand and we walked silently through the streets. He didn’t ask anything, I didn’t say anything. I was too shy to face him after what happened, so I just kept on walking and walking.

I brought us to the small intersection of the apartment building where I live, and decelerated my pace. I turned around, and held both his hands, looking downwards.

“Seungho, I…” I started. “It… I guess it was pretty obvious… I…”

 

I paused once more and took a deep breath. I loosen my grip on his hands and took off my scarf that was still hanging on my neck. I wrapped it around his neck, covering his cheeks and mouth. I pecked his lips through the fabric, our noses touching.

 “I like you too,” I said.

 

 

 

And I ran into the apartment building quickly, leaving Seungho with my scarf.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“WWAAAAAHHH!” A jittery me ran into the apartment, completely embarrassed, and landed face first on the sofa.

“Woah woah woah Sanghyun what’s wrong?” Sandara was panicking in the kitchen, unable to understand my usual entrance. “Don’t scream like that, we’re going to get complaints from the people living under us…”

“AM SWORRY DWARA,” I yelled on the pillow.

“What’s wrong Gaedong-ah?” she asked as she patted my .

            I flipped over and tried to compose myself. She sighed.

“Change clothes and go to sleep,” she said. “It’s getting late.”

“Indeed it is,” I said lifting my hands to the ceiling. My bracelet was slightly gleaming. “Hahaha…”

 

 

 

 

 

 

           I got into comfy clothes and lied on my bed. I jittered around in bed, rolled from one side to another. The bracelet didn’t stop glowing.

 

            It didn’t hurt as it did when the bracelet signaled me about revealing my identity. It was actually the complete opposite. It was a good feeling, a feeling of warmth. It must be my mission. The bracelet continuously glowed. Seungho must be happy. Maybe not to the extreme, but he must be happy now. I was happy knowing that.

            With that thought in mind, I slept in order to gain more energy for tomorrow.

 

“Goodnight,” I said aloud.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’m sorry I’ve taken nights away from you. Goodnight to you too, whoever you are.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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